TTC after pregnancy loss thread 31 - baby penguins are coming!

[strawberrye]

🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone TTC after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through he rollercoaster of TTC and get our baby penguins xx

@Mumlili8 I have read of others’ bleeding stopping and starting I think. Just watch your temp doesn’t go too high as that can be a sign of infection. I used to make juices and find a good mix is to have sole fruit and some green veg like spinach, celery, carrot is good. We experimented a lot to find what we liked as we wanted it to be a tasty fruit juice and not just “green” stuff but there are a lot of recipes online

Bleeding stopping and starting can be a sign of PID, especially if you are spotting between periods and there is any heavy bleeding too. It is good to get any unusual bleeding checked out

@TwittleBee PID what is this?

Well my hormones are shot this cycle if I count I'm cd7 and I'm getting this wth is going on with me?

Hi ladies. I have a little boy already and we've been trying to have baby number 2 for a year now. I found out I was pregnant 4 weeks ago, 2 weeks ago I started with brown spotting, progressing to red bleeding. On Sunday I was told the heartbeat had gone. I'm currently waiting for it to pass as it's still sitting on my cervix which is freaking me out. I'm going into the EPU for a pessary today to help things get moving but I don't know what to expect.

I want to start trying again asap but hospital says to wait until I have a period. What do you guys think?

My friend has said to see if I can get prescribed high dose folic acid as I'm 39 and apparently my body doesn't absorb it as well as I get older.

None of the doctors has offered me any support, helplines or advice as to why it's happened or anything that can prevent it happening again. I just feel like I'm kind of floating about trying to find out why and how to get pregnant again.

@Mumlili8 Sorry I can’t help but I think sometimes stress etc can take a toll on our bodies. Some months we might ovulate earlier or later or not at all.

@nicola18737 Sorry you find yourself here and haven’t had much support. How far along would you be? Depending on how early it is they may not be able to pinpoint a cause and if it’s a one off (hopefully it is) i think they just see it as bad luck. I had a very early MC last month (about 4.5 weeks) and the GP told me I could start trying straight away. As it was so early it was like a late, heavier period. Some of the other ladies can probably tell you more but I think the advice is you can go ahead and try but one period is recommended for dating purposes. I saw my GP last week about something unrelated and having read my notes she actually asked me if I’d been prescribed high dose folic acid (I hadn’t) as I had a full term still birth earlier this year and then the v early MC and she prescribed it for me so it could be as simple as asking your GP for it. She told me that you can’t take too much as your body gets rid of what you don’t need so there should be no reason not to take it.

@ReeReeR thanks for your reply. I would be 8 weeks along but last time they dated me it was only 6 weeks. No you're right, I think I just want someone to tell me it wasn't meant to be and that everything will be ok next time.

The doctor in the hospital said to wait for a period so my body can flush everything away and so we know all the bad stuff is gone. I don't know how true this is though. I'd hate to get pregnant again straight away and then lose it, I'd be thinking I should have waited until I had my period. At the same time, I desperately want to start ttc again. I am 39, I don't want to waste any time.

I'm so sorry to hear about your stillbirth and miscarriage. You have been through a lot. I hope you have good news soon.

Hi @nicola18737 I'm sorry to read your post and for your loss.

Like you I didn't want to waste time. The dr said wait for next period but this was primarily all down to dating than anything else. We started trying immediately again last month (2 weeks from the start of the miscarriage). My cycles seem messed up though, having gone from 28 days to 23 days in the month following the miscarriage, so I think I missed ovulation. I think this is pretty normal so I wouldn't anticipate your cycle will get straight back on track.

Trying again this month, and will do the OV sticks from next if the cycle continues to vary.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

I hope everyone is doing as well as they can be at the moment. I'm sorry for going AWOL, I am finding TTC very difficult. I do still read along though and the supportive nature of this thread is really helpful.
@ReeReeR and @TubbyMcFatfuck I think that all of your concerns about returning to work are totally natural. It's really hard. SANDS do have a leaflet for workplaces/ colleagues on their website. Before I went back to work I asked my boss to circulate it in the office. I also asked a friend at work to meet me outside the office on my first day and we walked in together. I would also recommend making a phased return - if you have keeping in touch days to use, then definitely use these at the start of your return to work.
We are currently on cycle 4 of ttc and I do not feel like I am in a good place. In the last week I have had three pregnancy announcements from close friends. They have all been very sensitive but it is still hard. I have been very down each month when my period has arrived, and it didn't help that last month my period was about 5 days late. I was tracking ovulation by taking my temperature, but I have stopped that for this month as I was finding it too stressful. DH and I have decided that we will just keep trying to have regular sex throughout this cycle, rather than tracking and feeling so much pressure around ovulation time and then when it is time to test/ AF arrives.
I hope that everyone has a gentle weekend x

Thanks @nicola18737 Thank you. It is difficult and I think many of us just want to know there are healthy children in our future (I know you have a son already) but unfortunately none of us know what the future holds and I think many of us worry about our ages as well. I think if I was told to wait a cycle I’d be inclined to wait just because it’s a month and I’d probably blame myself if I MC again but I think it’s probably fine either way.

@JuniperAndRose @TubbyMcFatfuck
I’ve found being back at work is good. Today I felt very sad and emotional about my daughter on the way to work and again this evening but I was fine at work so maybe it is good for me. On a more positive note I found out today I’m being promoted which is good but DH is going out and I’m home alone so think I’ll just watch 13 Reasons Why and have a bath. Pregnancy announcements are difficult. I had an email about a work thing at Christmas and at the last one I was heavily pregnant while two of the other women on their teams had their babies there. I should have had my daughter with me this year. To make things worse someone else in my team is due to have a baby soon and so I’m worrying she’ll come with the baby and if so I don’t think I want to go. I can handle babies but I’m dreading Christmas as it is. I don’t think I’m in a good place re ttc after the chemical pregnancy last month and then we didn’t even get around to dtd this month. Maybe it’s good to have something else to focus on, work in my case.

Hugs and baby dust to everyone x

Hi everyone, sadly I am having my second missed miscarriage. Had a follow up scan yesterday at 7 weeks and baby is only measuring 5 weeks. A foetal pole had grown since my last scan (8 days ago) but no heartbeat 💔 so, I'm just waiting. Got another scan in 2 weeks. I just can't believe it's happening again. I'm so fucking angry. I just felt immense sadness the first time, but I've just got this brimming anger. I just want everyone to leave me alone. I'm even angry at the baby 😢

Sorry to come back with such negativity. It was my birthday yesterday and pretty much everyone forgot. Dh didn't even wish me happy birthday because we were up early to go straight to the hospital for the scan and then obviously getting the horrible news I wasn't really in a celebratory mood.

Why is this happening again? 😢

@ReeReeR Yes I am going to wait. I have read a lot about the womb needing time to build up again after a MC and I just don't want to take that risk. I have been given medication to bring on the MC but nothing has happened and its nearly been 24 hours.

I just read what you've been going through. Have you had any counselling for it? I am not surprised you are having such a hard time, its totally sh*t being reminded of your heartbreak all the time. I'm glad you have been promoted though, maybe like you say it'll give you something to focus on. I find when I feel really down, I need something external to take my mind off things. I recently started some BodyPump classes (before all this) and I felt like I'd got me back, I love the independence.

I am so sorry @VenusStarr, that is so f**ng shit and unfair. You are right to be negative and angry. It's normal.

There's nothing wrong with you, it's just you've been unlucky enough to be the 1 in 4 twice now. There was someone in another thread who was MC for the first time. She was saying how she is upset but at the same time over the moon that she can get pregnant as she was told she couldn't have children. That helped me put perspective on what was happening to me.

I'm so sorry @VenusStarr. Totally empathise with the angry response, I've felt that way too and it's especially hard when you're still in that awful limbo between getting the bad news and everything being physically over with.

Hi @nicola18737 and sorry you're here too. Hope things move along quickly, physically at least. FWIW I didn't wait after MMC in July, but then had suspected CP immediately afterwards and my cycle this month has gone absolutely to pot. I don't know if waiting would have made any difference, just my experience.

@VenusStarr I’m so sorry. For that to happen once is sh*t but, twice... It’s understandable you’re angry. Life can be so unfair. I hope you’re as ok as you can be.

@nicola18737 Thank you. It has been touch. My baby girl died the day before she was due, after a perfect pregnancy, so it was all a bit of a shock and we are still dealing with obviously. It will always be there but it is early days for us. We have had some counselling and I might have more at some point.

I find the gym really good for my mood too. I used to do body combat and body attack before I got pregnant but in the last few months I’m loving yoga. I find it so good for my mind and body. I was doing it 3x
while I was off but now I’m at work so my routine has changed. I want to get back into more cardio as well as I think I’m still a stone heavier since before I got pregnant too.

Actually I tried Barre the other day and loved that so going to try to keep doing that once a week too. I enjoy work so that’s good and it definitely helps to have other things to focus on.

Hi all,

I hope it’s ok to join this thread.

MrsMc2019
Age 39 (40 in April)
BMI 41.9 😳
1st BFP 15/01/2019
Anembryonic Pregnancy discovered 20/02/2019
Surgery to complete loss 08/03/2019
Readmitted with retained tissue 17/03/2019

Once the bleeding finished I seemed to snap back into a 28day cycle with a 4day bleed (always been 4 days for as long as I can remember and I was 16/17 before I took my first period). Tracking ovulation via digital and I seem to ovulate around CD14 each cycle.

Had fertility testing in March 2018 with no issues, went back a few weeks ago and still no physical issues (despite age and weight I appear to be healthy) the only issue my Dr highlighted was stress so I’ve recently been going to Reiki to try and help with that.

I get married to the absolute love of my life (apologies for the cheesiness) in two and a half weeks - I just can’t wait!! ❤️❤️

Currently CD26/11DPO couldn’t resist POAS and did get the BFN I was expecting.

This month my usual PMS symptoms have been a bit off - usually breast pain kicks in at least a week beforehand but it’s only kicked in in the past few days building up slowly with my usual level pain only really starting today. I’ve not had the usual cramps yet (I’ve probably jinxed it now and will be suffering later lol). I had a killer headache on Friday and yesterday but it seems to have eased a bit this morning but the dizziness and dry/sore throat that started on Friday is still here (putting it down to wedding pressure). I did get a bit of yellow CM on Friday but we’ve been taking pregnacare conception for around 3 months and I noticed it turned my urine bright yellow so I’m guessing it’s affecting my CM too.

Apologies if I’ve given too much info!

I'm so so sorry @VenusStarr

Sorry I know I'm not very active on this thread because the whole thing is getting me down. I feel like my body is playing tricks on me. We tried really hard on SMEP this month only missing one day then picked it straight back up again. I'm only on CD22 and yesterday started having light af cramps. There was a small amount of watery blood on wiping so I put a sanitary towel in before bed. This would have meant I ovulated on CD8 when SMEP starts (normally I have 32 day cycles average) I woke up this morning to literally a gush of bright red blood in the pad. Seriously can't win.

@ReeReeR it's so true what you say about the gym. I've been putting it off since mc but know deep down I should go as it really does make me feel better and ultimately I'll be healthier. I need to look at joining again for my own sanity!

@VenusStarr I am so sorry for what you are going through  life is so cruel. Thinking of you .

@JuniperAndRose I hear you! It's crazy how once you start going through this suddenly everyone around you starts to become pregnant! It's so hard. Social media doesn't seem to help me as I'm in touch with most of my acquaintances through there.

@nicola18737 We decided to try again straight away once all the bleeding had stopped. Unfortunately I didn't get a bfp that month but it made me feel a bit better and us closer. We have become incredibly close after mc which is the main thing. Just do what feels right for you x

@MsMc2019 Sorry about your mc but seems like you have an exciting few weeks coming up! Do you have a honeymoon planned?

@mrslaurenbrown I’m sorry if this isn’t your month. It is rubbish each time AF shows her face. We didn’t even try this month as we were so stressed out so I’m just waiting for AF. I think she’s coming as I think I’ve got PMT 😬

I think if you feel like trying a few classes at the gym then do. For me classes have always been the go-to as they can be really good fun, you sort of feel you have to go when you’ve booked on and they’re good for pushing you more so than just going into the gym and doing the same thing yourself each time. I have found yoga really good for relaxation and mindfulness but it has made me stronger too. I also love Zumba. And tiring myself out helps me sleep!

Hope everyone is having an ok day. Thinking of you today @VenusStarr

@ReeReeR thank you. We've got a short Honeymoon planned for after the wedding (it's a semi-elopement) and then we're having a big party after that as I just wanted my actual wedding to be really small and intimate but I still wanted a celebration with friends and family

@ReeReeR yes I'm a class girl too. I prefer someone telling me what to do rather than going off my own steam. I've never tried yoga (I'm very inflexible) but I'll have a look and see if there are any classes near me as this might be my thing. I've just had my couple of PMT days (thought I was just being unnecessarily irritable and short tempered due to it being so early!) but now af is here I'm in a mindset of what will be will be. I've been putting things off like joining back at the gym/booking holidays etc 'in case I get pg' but now I'm just going to live my life as normal and let nature take its course x

@mrslaurenbrown You don’t need to be flexible to do yoga. I think it’s a myth and we see glamorous people on social media doing it but in reality in my classes it’s been a lot of women 50+ and quite easy going in some ways. I tried it a few years ago and didn’t get on with it. Maybe that was the wrong class or it just wasn’t the right time for me. It’s not for everyone maybe but it really has had a really positive effect on me during a difficult time. I like a mix though. I also went to a few trampoline fitness classes with a friend a couple of years ago. They were good fun but quite difficult! Just see what you fancy.

@ReeReeR that is so so horrible. I can't imagine how it must have been for you. Did they tell you why it happened?

I am glad Yoga is helping you through it, I used to do yoga but I'm not very flexible any more. I'll looking forward to starting body pump again when all this is over. It really is good to have that purpose and that feeling of doing your own thing just on your own.

I haven't heard of Barre, what's that?