TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Lilimum7]

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Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone ttc after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through the ttc crazyness xx baby dust to everyone xx

@strawberrye hiya, I did morning and bed time so definitely not exactly 12 hours apart. I found back door in the morning and front door in the evening worked best for me. As @TinyPaws said back door is a lot less messy. Just to forewarn it gave me lots of symptoms in the 2WW but I wasn't preggers.

It's all glamour isn't it 😂

Still reading folks but just carrying on quietly TTC. Lots going on with a sick MIL etc

Baby dust to you all! X

Hope everyone is OK. Said goodbye to my nan yesterday, during the funeral service I said a little prayer to her to ask that she take care of my little one, feel like I got a bit of closure.

It was a hard day anyway but my uncle and his wife have just had a baby, 6 weeks. I struggled a bit at first but I did find some strength to give the baby a cuddle. It's strange, holding her made me feel that it could be me holding my own baby in the future. Feeling positive this cycle, had a big load of ewcm on Wednesday and think I ovulated yesterday.

I was reading your comments @AliceRR and @Avocuddles and you inspired me to go to the gym on Wednesday. I did a short run and went to yoga after. The class was great. We focused on our breathing and the teacher was really focusing on our energy and being open. Felt like it was quite a healing process so I'll be going back next week. Thank you both ❤️

Sorry to hear about your mil @fnej01

How are you @Lilimum7?

Hope everyone else is OK xx

@fnej01 @TinyPaws thanks for the advice, Professor Quenby said to use the front door so that's what I'm doing for now although as you say it's quite messy! Thankfully had read about that so am using old pants 😂 will ask her though about the back door when I have my results telephone appointment next week. When did you first notice preggo type symptoms on them? How are you both otherwise?

@venusstar sorry to hear about the loss oof your nan, sounds like you were incredibly brave at the funeral

@VenusStarr thanks for asking after me. I'm sorry you lost your nan but glad you feel the funeral helped.

Well I'm out this cycle tested this morning 10/11 dpo and the frer was lovely bright white no mistaking that bfn. It was expected to be honest after our disastrously bad bd timing. DH seems to get stage fright every ovulation time (he scared to get me pg because of the hell I go through with every mc, my body can't let go on its own) and it doesn't happen. If he can't get passed this it will never happen and will probably cause problems between us. Where I'm sympathetic I'm all so frustrated with him, which then makes me feel bad. It's like all the prep and testing and watching everything I eat and drink is just a waste of time, some thing at 38 I don't have a lot left of. Am I being unreasonable being frustrated with him?

Hi All. Almost the weekend!

@fnej01 Sorry about your MIL. Hope she's ok.

@VenusStarr Glad you've been inspired to look after yourself. I'm planning on starting yoga after my holidays. Between that and the acupuncture I'm hoping that I'll be a changed person!
I'm certain that your Nan will be looking after your little one and glad that you felt a sense of closure in spite of having such a hard and emotional day.

Baby cuddles are a weird one aren't they - when I was trying and failing to the conceive the first time round I felt a rollercoaster of emotions each time I held a baby, hope and sadness and love all at the same time.

Tomorrow is the day for the bbq at ours and the 15 guests include two pregnant ladies (both 6+ months), three babies / toddlers and two slightly bigger boys so I'm preparing myself for the weird emotions to kick in! I've been trying to stay away from alcohol but think a wine or two might go down well tomorrow. I stopped ovulation testing this morning after two weeks of flashing smilies but no solid one, and have resigned myself to the fact that I'm not going to ovulate this month. It's 5 1/2 weeks since my MC so I'm just eager for AF to arrive now, but based on my pre pregnancy cycles it could be a long time yet as they lasted anything for 42 days to 4 months.... 

Hi ladies just wanted to drop in and say hello. Been reading through the thread, still the supportive penguin huddle as always ❤️🐧🐧

Just to comment on acupuncture @Avocuddles and anyone else, after last mc I had 6 months where periods just weren't right. Some months not sure i ovulated, medically cycles were 'normal' but I knew they weren't normal for me. Started acupuncture and cycles sorted within the first month which led to bfp in the second month. Everyone responds differently to treatment but there was a physical change that occurred for me with ewcm, ov symptoms, and my own emotional well-being etc. It's one thing I swear by and still going today. I'd never been before so had no pre- conceptions.

Anyway just wanted to share that I think it does offer improvement in fertility but we all respond in different ways - which is right given it's about balancing your body and your hormones.

Xx

@VenusStarr sorry about your BFN. You're not at all unreasonable to be frustrated, it takes two so if you feel like one of you is not 'pulling their weight' then it's perfectly understandable to feel a bit hard done by. Do you think your DH would be willing to go for counselling - I know it's not always an easy sell but talking therapy may help in this instance?

@Yukka that's really encouraging to hear! I have a couple more sessions booked in already over the next three weeks, so fingers crossed I'll see some improvements next month x

Good for you @VenusStarr Sorry again about your nan. I hope you’re doing ok

@Avocuddles I think you mixed up Lilimum post with Venus?

How are you? You are brave having all the preggos and babies around

I went out with my friend and her daughter who is 3 weeks younger than Ruby. It was fine but I was so emotional last night and this morning so not sure if that has anything to do with it. I can barely stop crying. I think I might be hormonal to though - would be nice if it’s pregnancy or PMT 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Lilimum7 YANBU but then he probably isn’t either. Would it help to not tell him when you’re fertile? You could still OPK but just try to have sex regularly throughout your cycle (maybe more so around ov) and don’t tell him when you get your positive...

@Lilimum7

I'm sorry you are feeling like that with your partner and it's really hard to know what the right thing to say is. I feel like it's a balancing act.

He doesn't seem to want me to tell him when I'm ovulating so it's not too much pressure. He is even talking about a baby now so I don't think he has changed his mind. But he often gets soo absorbed in Facebook or something that he says he is coming to bed and 90mjns later he still has t moved.
But we often start proceedings and then he can't finish often because he is too tired. Part of me wants to scream at him - look we have a 5 day window where it might work.

I don't know how to handle it delicately yet explaining the biological logistics without just missing month after month. I'm 36, DD is nearly 5, I don't have time...

Oh @AliceRR you're right - apologies @Lilimum7 @VenusStarr head is all over the place this morning! @AliceRR i agree with your advice to @Lilimum7 - I've gone with the approach of trying to DTD every other day throughout my entire cycle, though that's easier said than done! I'm working away next week, but I'm pretty certain there's no fertile window for me this month so it's not an issue this time.

The BBQ with all the preggos and babies has been in the diary for ages, before I found out I was pregnant let alone before the MC. It will nice to see everyone but no doubt a bit difficult too. Glad it was ok when you were out with your friend last night. I'm sure it's perfectly normal to feel emotional afterwards, if you've been working hard to hold yourself together at the time then there's probably a lot of bottled up feelings that needed to come out, and if you're feeling hormonal that would only amplify it. I hope the rollercoaster emotions are an early pregnancy symptom for you....

@Lilimum7 - sorry the 2nd half of that post is what it's like with my partner currently.... I really can empathise. I just re read it and I hadn't made it clear 😊

I felt fine when I was out. I was even ok last night trying out my new dyson hair dryer on DH’s hair 😂 but then we went to bed and I was so emotional

I hope you enjoy the bbq. I think you’ll enjoy it. Sometimes it’s better to just face things than avoid babies and children etc and give our feelings more power xx

@pinkoi I feel it too hun x I want to be kind but I'm losing patience.
@AliceRR I'm thick what does YANBU mean lol

should explain a bit more. My DH works nights and only has 1 and 1/2 days off a week (lorry driver) so frequency is an issue. We had to plan dtd at the right time like a military operation lol. We maybe dtd 6 time a month and try to dtd at the right time but more often than not he's sleeping in the lorry when the big O happens. So when he is home I kind of expect him to do his part. Maybe I am unreasonable?

YANBU = you are not being unreasonable

So mumsnet 🙈

I think neither of you are being unreasonable @Lilimum7 It’s a difficult situation when you’re TTC and he is not around all the time. I’m not sure what to suggest X

Hi, thought I would post this article as these are the supplements I have started taking this month!

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-7108693/Woman-44-baby-three-failed-IVF-attempts-sperm-barren-husband-takes-supplement.html

@Lilimum7
Oh god it all went to shit yesterday 😢

Planned and had a nice evening and then he just came to bed and promptly fell asleep. Peak fertility days and he is laid there snoring. I get that he doesn't want regimented sex at certain times but I cant change biology. But we haven't dtd properly at all during this fertile window at all and I'm now away for the weekend and that is the end of it.
I got really upset as it just feels like we are wasting time we don't have. How do I stop feeling so frustrated?? I guess it's probably time to stop with this 2nd kid idea.

It’s been quiet on here - is that since all the BFPs went to the other thread? 🤔

How is everyone? I’m 7DPO today and bought pregnancy tests today so I have some in case I want to test / af is late but I haven’t really had any indication I am...

Been SO hormonal and emotional this weekend though. Could be PMT

Thanks @Kayjay2018 It’s nice that couple managed to have a baby after all that

@pinkoi That is frustrating but don’t give up purely because of that. There is next month. Would it help to speak to your OH about how disappointed you are that you didn’t did during your fertile period or would that make it worse?

@AliceRR I have been quiet lately, but been so busy. I have been reading still though.

Had my results from Dr Shehata on Wednesday so now getting prepped to try again for the 5th time. I'm 7/8dpo today too. How are you feeling about this cycle?

@Pop1234 I don’t have any symptoms of pregnancy and with my daughter last year I did have symptoms (not sure how long after ov as I didn’t track) but I kind of think it was pregnant then I’d know... but then two cycles ago I had lots of symptoms and got a BFN. how about you? How are you feeling?

Hi all! @AliceRR I'm crossing my fingers that it's not just PMT for you.
Feeling shattered now after a lovely sunny day. It was really nice having our friends and their assorted babies / children / bumps round. I was actually so busy on hostess / baby herding duties that I didn't really dwell on my personal situation at all which was great! It's so hot in our room though I'm not feeling like a good nights sleep is going to be in order....
Hope you are all well and have enjoyed the sunshine xx

@AliceRR will keep everything crossed for you. There's time for a few symptoms to appear yet.

I'm feeling ok thank you. We got some answers from Dr Shehata and I've got a treatment plan now so fingers crossed we get some success soon.

Thank you. I’m glad today went well @Avocuddles

@Pop1234 Fingers crossed for you too. It’s good you’ve got something to work with