TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

[Lilimum7]

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Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone ttc after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through the ttc crazyness xx baby dust to everyone xx

@Izabelus thank you. Sorry you're here. Fx for you xx

@Avocuddles Last cycle I used CB in the mornings and One Step at night. My reasoning was I already had OSs, they’re cheap and they specify to use in the afternoon / evening (I think) whereas CB specifies FMU. I’m glad I used OS as otherwise I’d have missed my peak but using CB twice a day might help. This cycle I got one day flashing and then static smiley so it may have been cause it was my first time using them last month. Is it your first cycle using CB?

We dtd this morning. I think yesterday was too much as we did it before bed and then again in the morning. I think once in 24 hours is about our limit! 😬

Congratulations on your BFP @FirstTimeMama91

@AliceRR thank you xx

Had my results through today for the testing on my 4th miscarriage tissue and it was Edwards syndrome. It doesn't say anything about my previous 3 miscarriages, and just tells me it's highly unlikely to happen again and to try again.

Can anybody offer any advice on this? If Edwards is the reason for my 4th miscarriage, could it have been the reason for the other 3 too? I just feel so confused with it all. Luckily I've got my follow up appointment on Wednesday with Dr Shehata so I can ask him too. But I can't help but just feel disappointed with the NHS yet again.

I'm so sorry @Pop1234 I was under the impression Edwards Syndrome is pretty rare. Surely unlikely this could happen again. I really hope you get some answers from Dr Shehata! xx

@Izabelus I remember you from the other thread, so sorry that you've found yourself here. Taking time off work sounds like a really sensible idea. I only took two days and regret it now as I was a complete mess, I think I was hoping that it would distract me from what I was going through but in retrospect I should have definitely taken longer to focus on me.

@AliceRR haha well done on getting another session in! Because of my uncertain cycles we've been working on an extra other day approach throughout the month. This is my first (already long) cycle post MC but I used them for four or five months before we were referred for fertility treatment and never saw a solid smiley in the entire period. I fell pregnant the month that I stopped testing and we stopped 'trying' so frequently as by that point we'd assumed nothing was going to happen without medical help. It's hard now knowing whether I'll be conceive naturally again or whether we were just particularly lucky that month. I'm crossing my fingers for the first one! x

Sorry to see new faces here, hopefully your stay with us will be brief!

Congrats @FrillyFarmer!

Argh organising this FET cycle is such a PITA! Between them the old clinic and the new clinic are messing up a lot of things and we're in danger of missing this cycle entirely due to not everything being in place. So stressful!

Hi ladies popping in briefly to say hello. Trying to be hopeful about this cycle, I think I am around day 2 or 3 past ovulation and looking forward to starting my progesterone to see if that helps.

@Frillyfarmer congratulations! A great line for 10dpo

@Pop1234 you might find it useful to read the NHS choices article on Edwards syndrome www.nhs.uk/conditions/edwards-syndrome/ It is a pretty rare trisomy and I think usually is a random event. Sorry to hear you are feeling let down by the NHS.

@lilimum7 just wanted to say I know where you are coming from with feeling low, it's completely normal to feel low and hopeless when you have been trying as long as we have and only multiple losses to show for it. Here for you if you want to PM - I know sometimes I have felt I don't want to bring down the thread with how down I have felt, but we are all here to listen

Hi, popping back on to see how everyone is doing, congrats on the BFPs, hope they are beautiful rainbows! You guys give me hope to carry on!

@Lilimum7 sorry you are having a frustrating month, I'm due to OV in the next few days and have had a completely blank opk this evening. There was something visible the last few days and now nothing (and today I know it wasn't diluted), sometimes I think this is never going to happen. TTC for 10 months (I'm 38 now) and all I have to show is the scar on my heart from my mc in April , cycles have not returned fully to normal yet either

So @Lilimum7 it was anovulatory or at least too weak for enough progesterone. AF came just 6 days after I thought I ovulated and temps never got far off the cover line. I've never had a cycle like this in my life. My cycle after my two mcs was ovulatory just late. This one is worse. I have no idea why they'd be getting worse. I'm hoping for better luck next time. I hope you're getting some nice rises now! xx

@Catconfusion hi hun yes lots of high temps now but I don't trust it I think it's the cream so I'm not going to use it for a couple of days to see if my temps come down again. If nothing else it will be good to show the doc.

Thanks for your kind words ladies xx

@Izabelus I’m so sorry about your MMC. I think it is “rare” but it’s something like 1/100 from what I’ve read. I had a still birth at full term which is even more “rare” but something like 1/225 but as you say when it happens to you, you learn about other people who have been through the same thing. It is unfortunate when you are that “1”. I have a friend who had a MMC and she had a beautiful baby boy now. I would say take all the time off work that you can.

@Avocuddles Thanks! We managed to BD again today. I think the SMEG says that BD for three days for positive OPK so thought we’d try again. I’m not following that theory but I just read so much crap online. I think TTC is my main focus right now so hard not to be a bit obsessed and it must be so difficult if trying for a long time but so many of people say they got pregnant when they stopped trying.

@Kayjay2018 I’m so sorry for your MC. Hopefully you will get your BFP. It’s not so long since April and I think from reading on here it’s not uncommon for it to take some time for cycles to go back to normal. I had a full term loss in Feb and my cycle is still irregular. It’s easy to feel like it won’t happen for us. I’m 35 and thinking I’ll try for up to six cycles and then I’ll speak to the doctor. It helps me to put a sort of time frame on it. Do you think that would help you?

@Catconfusion Sorry to hear your cycle is a bit messed up. My understanding is anyone can have an anovulatory cycle. I think it does take time for or bodies to settle down after a pregnancy x

Anyone else find their pms getting worse after mcs etc? I've always been a right grump just before af but it is getting so much worse and with other symptoms. Used to be a day or 2, now I'm 8 days away from af due and I feel sick, have a headache, bloated, tired and grumpy and this will go on until a couple of days after af starts.

Getting annoying because for a couple of months I thought it was pg symptoms, now I know it's not and I just have to put up with feeling like absolute shit for days on end with no positive reason for it! Anyone else find this?

@AliceRR I'm so very sorry for your loss. x
Amazing to hear about your friend having a healthy baby after a MMC!

@Navy123 I'm the same. My pms is disgusting. I keep apologising to everyone as I'm being very nasty to people around me!

I don't understand how the % of MMCs is calculated. Let's say that a baby dies very early on (at 6 weeks for example) and a woman start miscarrying (what she thinks is a natural miscarriage) at 8 weeks or so. Surely this should be classified as a MMC but will probably be not as the woman won't know that the baby died some time ago... sorry, I don't mean to go into this but I just try to understand it all...

Arggggggggghhhhh! Day number 10 of flashing smileys, so infuriating! Think it might be time to step away from the tests as seems (as expected) to be going nowhere. Less than two weeks until our holiday, I'm kind of hoping AF decides to turn up before then (I'll be 6 1/2 wks post MC) so that I at least know where I stand and can stop obsessing for a week or two....

Hope you are all ok. @Izabelus I understand what you're saying re statistics. My miscarriage was 'natural', however based on an inconclusive scan a day before (it suggested

@Izabelus Thank you. I think I know what you mean. That it’s not clear whether the stats for MMC cover losses that are evident but after the MC happened and those that are not evident until you have a 12 week scan? The figures are not clear but tbh I assumed the latter, where there are no signs until the scan.

@Avocuddles The same thing happened to me last cycle. I got ten flashing smileys in a row and then stopped testing but I managed to pick up my surge on One Step ICs in an evening so just because you didn’t see a static smiley doesn’t mean you haven’t ovulated.

@AliceRR that's interesting to know. My CM seems a bit different today so maybe that's a good sign. I've decided I'll test for two more days and then I'll stop. We go on holiday the weekend after next so I'll take a pregnancy test if AF doesn't arrive before then...

What DPO are you @Avocuddles? Are you about the time you’d expect to ovulate? I noticed a change in my CM the other day (don’t properly track it but was a noticeable change) and got my static smiley the next morning so trust your CM. I think the CB instructions say that if you get nine flashing smileys in a row then you probably won’t grt a static (but again doesn’t mean you haven’t ovulated). Hopefully you’re holiday will do you some good and you can properly relax xx

If I wee on a internet cheapie 11dpo but for get to look before leaving the house, the line I see 4 and a half hours later is just an evaporation line right?

Almost dreading first thing tomorrow now.

@CodlingMoth good luck......

@AliceRR genuinely have no idea when / if I ovulate, it felt like the pregnancy was a one off fluke but would be really reassuring just to know that I do!

@CodlingMoth Could be. Depends on the test but I think evap likes have no colour. If it’s taken that long then most tests say to discard results after X mins. Test again if you can

Hi everyone, back from my holiday ☀️ it was so lovely to have a proper break away. Really feel like me and dh connected again and I had a proper mumsnet / ttc thinking break. Af arrived 3 days early but luckily it wasn't painful. It was very light, unlike my previous 2 after the mmc. I did have a weird stabbing pain after dtd on the day it started, I literally jumped out of my chair. Not sure what it was, has anyone had that before?

I'm already in my fertile week but haven't got any of my usual ewcm. Unsure if the hsg has affected my cycle as last one was only 22 days. Feeling a bit better in myself (not hopeful or postitive exactly, just less bogged down)

Thanks for the support @AliceRR @Lilimum7 @Avocuddles

Congratulations @frillyfarmer 🎉 so happy for you 😊

Hi @CodlingMoth fingers crossed for you for tomorrow 🤞

Welcome back @VenusStarr glad you enjoyed your holiday!

In a bit of an emotional state at the moment. DH just had a call from one of his best friends who told him that his girlfriend is pregnant - and due on the same day that I would have been. I feel pleased for them as know that they suffered a loss a while back but DH doesn't seem to get why I feel so upset about the fact that it's due exactly when our baby should have arrived. He called to let him know before they announce things on social media, and I know it's going to destroy me to watch her developing and enjoying all the milestones that I should have been experiencing. Thankfully (cruel as that is to say) we don't see them in person very often but they're trying to arrange a get together and I'm already dreading it and wondering whether I'll be able to hold it together

@Avocuddles That’s rubbish. Would it help to think the actual due date doesn’t mean anything and actually a baby generally arrives within 2 weeks either side of that date? Your baby probably wouldn’t have arrived on that date and hers probably won’t either. I don’t know if that helps and don’t mean to offend or minimise what you’re feeling. If you don’t want to see them, then don’t. Are you close with the girlfriend? If it’s really just your boyf’s friend’s gf then the boys can meet up on their own.

Glad you had a good holiday @VenusStarr

@Avocuddles - wow that is a lot to take in. I guess it's something to have had a heads up beforehand so you could deal with it a bit in private rather than spotting it on FB, but it's still a punch in the guts either way. Please take care of yourself. Xxx

One of my friends did something similar to me. Hadn't see her for a year, had a big meet up of friends at the weekend and she turns up 7months pregnant. Didn't tell us before hand as she wanted to "surprise us". Obviously I'm happy for her but I just wanted to curl up and cry. But then was chatting with her and another person in the group and they were like "ooh so when is number two coming" to me, so I just told them about the MC. I am done with hiding it, why should I?!?

I don't know about you but I'm finding it harder now than when it happened. I can't help but think how far along I would have been now and how the weekend would have been soo different at that party. I don't know why I'm torturing myself all the time. 😕