Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...3!

[SparrowSG]

New thread for us 40+'s

BooseysMom sorry you are having such an awful time - do you think it'd be worth taking a test now, as I know from having a miscarriage that HCG stays in your body for a while? I guess at least you would know either way. Hope things start to feel better soon, I know what you mean about the emotional side being worse x

SomnolentSekhmet I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks last year too, it's a horrible thing to happen, and I'm sorry it has happened to you. I'm sure there is a good egg hiding in there somewhere! It's hard when you are older, as you don't have much time to grieve, you just feel you need to start trying straightaway!

Will check in properly tomorrow, we're away in signal is a little pants... hope all is ok, af over just and hubs and I trying to dtd on a sofa bed was a funny and uncomfortable sight... sending loads of baby dust to all xx

Is anyone currently in the process or about to do IVF? Seriously considering it now as last chance saloon. Those that have done it did you do multicycle?

CD 1 again here. @Booseysmom, that sounds like my cycle a couple of months ago. It’s was so heavy and painful I wondered but never tested.

Hope everyone is enjoying bank holiday today.

@Constance1234 & @KristieP2018... thank you both. I might have to get an appointment tomorrow to see if i can find out what's going on. The problem is I know they'll say to have the coil fitted and/or hrt but last time I refused saying we were ttc. How much longer can i go on saying this though really?!

They just don’t want to listen boosey. We have a letter from the fertility clinic saying they’ll give us an appointment is August. August?! FFS they did his sperm analysis in February and we had to wait 2 months for those results. Now you want us to wait another 3! They are useless!

I hope they listen to you boosey xx

@KristieP2018.. I love that you call me Boosey! That's what I always called my DS when he was a baby and it stuck! Yes it seems that way (that they're useless) .they just hope you'll get fed up of waiting and being fobbed off and just go away. The thing is we can't all afford to go private but that's the only way to guarantee quicker appointments. I don't see any point in going to them about my issues as I already know what they'll say but I'm actually terrified of feeling like this every month now .there's just no solution to any of it

@booseysmom I’ll definitely call you boosey from now on

@KristieP2018..lol thanks, I appreciate it 😁

Keep the faith ladies. I conceived with one cycle for both girls at 43 and 45.

Hi all, thanks Sparrow for the new thread.
Russ - I was so sad to read about your loss. That is so so cruel. I hope you’re getting chance to rest and grieve. Hugs.

Mellon - you’ve been through a huge trauma, it’s no wonder you’re getting flashbacks. I agree with Chat that some counseling would be good for you. Hugs to you too.

AFM - AF finally showed up after a stupidly long cycle of 90+ days. AF has been pain free and normal but I suspect the hot flashes are on their way back. It’s a pattern now. Get AF then they start towards the end of bleeding. My poor old ovary is struggling to produce oestrogen:( low oestrogen = no ovulation. Just lost with it all low. My specialist just said it’s stress related but it’s got to be waning hormones. Get my blood results this week and scan in three weeks. Not that I expect any of that to shed any light on my issues.
I’ve ordered progesterone cream in a vain attempt to balance things out but I can’t start it until after ovulation if it decides to happen. Apparently progesterone wanes faster than oestrogen in our 40s with the effect that oestrogen then dominates for part of your cycle then comes crashing down at other points. My hormones are definitely crashing up and down so I’m hoping the progesterone will help to balance things out. Sigh. Deep sigh.

Is no-one else struggling with irregular cycles by the way? Not that I hope anyone is....I just feel a bit alone in all this.

Mimosa - glad to hear af has finally appeared. You are certainly not alone, I have had my struggles with my cycles. I've started taking progesterone in the 2ww but without it my LP is now only 9 days. That's not good. Clomid didn't really do much for me but I suspect it's given me cysts as I've had twinges in my right overy since taking it. Just really hoping it doesn't screw up this next cycle (currently cd4)
Also just found out my sister is currently menopausing, she's just turned 44, so that's not a good sign for me genetically. She is weirdly happy about it as she never wanted kids, and it takes away the inconvenience of monthly periods and contraception. I'm the total opposite. I am so not ready for this

waves

Hello, I lost you all for a while, the old thread wasn't showing in my threads I'm on. I'm still here, still trying, last month was a bit hopeless though. AF last week so counting down to fertile week, not sure whether to try OPKs or temping again, found it a bit confusing really and adds to the pressure to DTD at the "right time".

Anyway stats:
Lexilooo age 40, DC 0, ttc since Oct 2018.

That's six months so I guess it is time to think about going to the GP and getting checked out 😔

EvelineUK, thank you for your response. I use the ava bracelet for tracking temps so it's quite reliable as don't have awkwardness of sticking to take same times or sleeping consistantly with mouth open / closed etc, I found that way too stressful! Temps always sustain too, so it's definitely ovulation, could LH be wrong? Does LH set up change in old age?

I'm feeling a bit nervous joining in as I feel like a fraud.
My coil is being taken out today.
It's taken me until 40 to find someone that is willing to try with me. I've no idea what I'm doing, I just know my age is an issue. I've been taking folic acid and iron. Cut down on coffee, given up alcohol and I'm trying to lose weight.
I'm 40. No DC.
Feels like my last chance at being a Mum.
It's all about the support for each other isnt it?
Nice to meet you!

@EvelineUK I track my cycle and monitor cervical mucous so have a fair idea anyway.

I can't do SMEP, we're both in our 40s and no longer in the honeymoon period. Shagging alternate days from CD10 isn't realistic, and will end in tears.

I guess that means I should buy OPKs again to stand a decent chance of timing things correctly but it makes the pressure worse 😕

Hi @alwaysredlips - no time like the present and at 40 your chances are better than you think. :) I can identify with not finding the person you want to have kids with until later than you'd hoped - I was 35 I think when I met my DH - so good luck and I hope you don't have long to wait! ... and the same for you @Lexiloo, though I hear you on the pressures of SMEP (though in my case it's me that's knackered, I'm lucky enough to have a DH 9 years younger than me)

@Booseysmum - thanks for the encouragement. I'm sorry you're having such a time of it now though - I had a couple of cycles like that with my DD and I'm still convinced it was just a couple of mega early pregnancies that didn't take. I hope your cycle settles down and is less painful for you now.

Thanks for the welcome @Cleozeta! Hopefully your sister's menopause at 44 doesn't mean the same for you though ... my sister and I are very different so what might prove true for her may not for me (though I'm the eldest and will be more likely to go through it first than she is).

I'm just about to hit my first viable fertile period in months - the last 2 months were out because I had an x-ray booked which would have fried any budding embryos so we didn't bother trying. Fertile period should be later this week and my cycles seem to be back to a regular 27/28 day length - DH is happy to be back in the saddle again, so to speak - but I'm ill again. Sinusitis this time and I could scream ... I can't remember the last time I was healthy for longer than a week! Hoping against hope my body doesn't decide I'm a bad bet for a healthy host again this month as it'll have been a full year of trying with no success if we fail this time - that's longer than it took to have DD, though I was a few years younger back then. Still, I have less than 2 weeks of work and a holiday coming up so even if it doesn't work out this month future ones will be a ton more relaxed. :) I'd go to the GP to ask for help, but with one daughter already the message I seem to be getting is that there's somewhere between bugger and all that they can do for me. It sounds like IVF would be out of personal funds if we decide to go that route.

Hope everybody had a great bank holiday weekend :)

Thanks Cleo - I feel the same. Not ready but my body is telling me otherwise it seems. You might not necessarily follow your sister so don’t presume. The positive for you is you’re still having regular cycles so focus on that. Me on the other hand not so much. Am CD5 now and I can feel the hot flashes starting up again. Mild at the moment but so depressing I could cry at any point. This cycle could go any which way, I have no idea anymore on fertile periods etc, it’s just pot luck. I’ve started taking inositol, which is used by PCOS sufferers for irregular cycles. I don’t have PCOS but it’s worth a try as it’s harmless otherwise. I’ll try anything now to get things regular again. If it’s even possible. Maybe I’m just fighting nature. Sad again today.

Kavana- I’m about to turn 43 and have recently been to my gp (I’ve been a few times in the past couple of years re ttc) and have had nothing but support for my cause. It might be worth a trip.

Welcome Always. Good to have you here.

EvelineUK - I will usually test FMU every morning over FW with a clear blue advance FM, this has stopped giving me peaks since my mc in October, but I did get a peak last cycle 5 days before my temp shift. I also do cheapo tests (first step) SMU every day, this usually gives me a positive around 3 days before temp rise. It always used to be the day before, so something has changed

Kav - fingers crossed you get to give it a good shot this cycle!
I've been told NHS can do bugger all too, so we're saving those pennies for IVF, hopefully it's not too late!

Mimosa - I take inositol too, not sure if it does anything, but apparentlt Zita West swears by it so must be worth a try.
Have you also tried vitex? That is supposed to help balance things and is said to be good for our age group