Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...3!

[SparrowSG]

New thread for us 40+'s

@Constance1234 I'm not even sure. She told me to get it and I did she also said probiotics was an important supplements and best to take twice a day on an empty stomach in the morning before breakfast and before bed. It's one of the supplements on the list I posted

Hello lovely fellow 'older' folk I'm an utter newbie, and just starting out getting a family together at the ripe old age of 43. Met my partner a year and a half ago after being single for most of my life, he already has a young son, so I'm already in the step parent bracket, but we're really hopeful something may happen for us. This is such an interesting forum. I wish you all love and luck! Xx

@Catclock and welcome. I have N interesting story for you. A good friend of mine met her husband at 40 and got married quick but they couldn’t try straight away because she has severe diabetes needing injections every day. Her doctors told her she’d need to get her insulin to a certain level. It took her three years with diet to get there. They saved up for private blood tests for Down syndrome to avoid an amnio, fully expecting if they could get pregnant for something to be wrong. Anyway she fell pregnant the first month and also didn’t need the expensive blood tests as the pregnancy was low risk. She now has a beautiful little boy born just after her 44th birthday. Good luck and I really hope you get to start your family soon! Xx

Don't worry dear, I'm just a year younger that you @serenintheforest and on my way to trying what tech has to offer for girls like us. I'm sked to meetup for my first IVF before month's end.

@Elles1980 I’m so sorry you went through that. It sounds very scary. It’s just the dark side of pregnancy no one wants to see. I hate it when people make light of pregnancy loss and say it’s like a heavy period if it’s early. Urm it’s not whatsoever. It can be life threatening. I’ve heard of ladies at 6 weeks needing blood transfusions.

I hope after all you’ve been through you get your bfp. 39 is not old at all. I just turned 40 and I still feel on the young side. Xx

Thank you @Catconfusion ! (Are we cat lovers..?! ) Well this is the first time for me to even try so will see how it goes. I'm desperately trying to do the 'casual, breezy' thinking - if it happens it happens kind of thing. But that goes out of the window when night comes and ya break in to a sweaty panic!
Positivity is absolutely so important, for our own well being, so I appreciate your post! X

@Catclock no I’m a Catherine. We do have a cat who belongs to my husband. She’s ok but I’m more of a dog person.

One thing I would recommend for tracking your cycles is Ovusense. I have irregular cycles due to pcos and it’s been great.

Also a good preconception supplement. I’m taking the Zita West Vitafem and finding it good. Also evening primrose liquid from AF to ovulation has really increased my EWCM.

You’re right positivity is really important. It’s tough for those of us who’ve had pregnancy losses but it comes after the grieving process. Try not to worry about what could go wrong. I know plenty of young people who lost pregnancies. It’s often just a random thing you have no control over.

You have every chance of conceiving and having a healthy baby. See your doctor if it doesn’t happen in 6 months. Xx

@Catconfusion That’s a really lovely positive message, exactly what I needed to read this morning :) x

Amazing news @russkispy! I thought we might be DE buddies but am so happy for you that you got a natural conception in just in time! Sounds very 'meant to be'.
@littlemimosa so sorry you are feeling low and still having long cycles. It might not feel like it but you are still young and still have time for things to come into balance.
Good luck to everyone in the 2ww.

@eloisa246 still very early days! I never had a natural pregnancy! It's a completely new territory for me as my DD was conceived with IUI. Then we moved on to IVF, then rolled the ball with DE and now this surprising BFP! Absolutely pooping myself as it's just so soon after a MMC. My first reaction to FRER was - "what have we done!!", whereas DH had happy tears in his eyes. I then pulled myself together and had a serious talk with myself and said everything will be just fine! We flew home last night and I did another FRER and it came up right away and the line was much darker. My doc asked me to get HCG and progesterone blood tests done today and repeat on Friday. Just done the bloods and waiting for results. Depending on results I'm sure I'll start taking progesterone pills as before. When came home last night there was a letter from my local hospital where I had the last D&C, offering me a reassurance scan around 7 weeks should I needed it again, and offered their condolences on my last short lived pregnancy. That was nice from them. I'm only hoping and praying this one sticks and if not, then, no more TTC and straight to DE. I can't keep going and being back to square one every time. But for now I'm pregnant and hoping for the best. And I'm also hoping it will work out for you and all lovely ladies on here. Such a lovely and supportive bunch of girls. Thanks you!

Hey again all, thank you for all your well wishes . This group got me through some dark times last year, it really meant so much to talk to other ladies going through similar who could relate to how I felt x I should have mentioned that after my first miscarriage I did lots of research online on how to improve egg health and ended up taking several different supplements. Of course I can't prove that they're the reason I managed to conceive a couple of months later but maybe just knowing I was doing something to help myself gave me the more positive mindset I needed in order to fall pregnant - who knows! Here's what I took each day:

1 x prenatal tablet
1 x Aspirin 75 mg
1 x Folate 400 mcg
1 x Evening Primrose Oil 1000mg
1 x Cod Liver Oil 1000mcg
2 x Ubiquinol 100 mg
1 x Royal Jelly 500 mg

A couple of things to note: It's very important you only take Evening Primrose Oil for the first half of your menstrual cycle (from menstruation until ovulation) as it can cause uterine contractions that could make it difficult for a fertilised egg to implant if you managed to conceive. I actually wonder if this is what caused my second miscarriage as I was unaware of this at the time and taking it every single day .
Secondly, I found the cheapest place to buy Ubiquinol BY FAR was from a website called Piping Rock.com. It's based in the USA but even with shipping costs it worked out much cheaper than anywhere else I could find!
Ubiquinol aside, these supplements were all relatively cheap and easy to source either in the supermarket or health food shops. I must admit I didn't consult with a doctor before taking them but as soon as I conceived, I was advised to stop taking all but the prenatal tablet.
I hope this is of help to someone, I found the whole supplement thing a total minefield when I started my research!!

Blood tests are back and my beta is 215 and progesterone 87. Waiting to hear from my doc on progesterone intake if needed at all. In all my pregnancies after fertility treatments I was taking a lot of progesterone pills. This is natural pregnancy and it's all new to me. Repeating bloods on Friday morning. Hope the HCG doubles then! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

I’m driving myself crazy POAS, line was much fainter this morning and I’ve not gone above 1-2 on cbd. I only got my BFP on Sunday, why am I doing this to myself!?

Great news@Russkispy!

I'm still in 2WW and crossing fingers as we gave it our best shot this month

Is it selfish for someone who already has children to consider donor egg for a 3rd?

@Cleozeta only if there was some kind of shortage of donor eggs and there were lots of childless people vying to get each one - but I don’t think that is the case at all! Although I don’t know much about the donor egg process. Are you having second thoughts about going down that path? x

Well had EWCM yesterday, DTD last night. So that's it, I'm officially on the watch list First time ever for me this. For trying, for even being off a contraceptive. I'm an anxious person to begin with, so blooming heck. Hey ho though, gotta be in it to win it I suppose. X

Ladies IV been reading all your lovely messages to each other!! @Russkispy did the doc get back to you? I hope all is well.
@Ec22, if any of us had that answer none of us would be on this forum lol! Try to keep calm (we all say when it's not us pahaha) @Raffeylou that's some amazing information, my oh is quite obsessed with vitamins and supplements etc so I'll get him on the research case for us, thank you.
@littlemimosa, I hope your well Hun. Sending massive hugs your way xx
@hmmm123 me too I'm 5 dpo or 6.... I can't quite work it out lol but either way I'm waiting lol!
@Cleozeta I don't think it is at all. I have 4 children for my first husband and my partner hasn't had any as he tried with his ex for 10 years and was told he was infertile, we were both massively shocked when I found out I was pregnant and sadly MC, so we're both pretty intent on having one together. It's your life Hun, you live it!
@catlock what an exciting time for you, I'm not far ahead of you so we may find out about the same time. So ladies I feel IV officially lost the 2ww plot! I had mental dreams last night was up and down weeing, had a nap after school yesterday (teaching not learning haha)! I had a real sharp shooting pain through my right breast only and been spotting super lightly for 2 days now I'm convined I'm having a baby .... Maybe even 2 (I have a wonderful imagination lol) how do you keep yourself grounded I wonder? IV never been here before IV just fallen pregnant and done it. This time IV researched and am against the clock. IV googled symptoms and now convinced I have em all haha! This next week could see me single if keep up at this rate lol xx

So had a chemical last month. If I had my normal cycle from start of chemical then I would have come in period on Friday. On Monday I felt very pregnant. I resisted testing as I thought it would be better for mental health if I didn't know I had a chemical chemical pregnancy ( if same thing happens again) well guess what it didn't last long and I've had another positive. That means I've been pregnant three times in a year. Last two unsuccessful, let's see what this wrong brings. I'm getting lots of aches, cramps and pains and I just have no clue of it is start of CP or just oreggo symptoms. Who knows? Anyhow I just can't seem to picture myself with a baby. It really feels like it's not going to happen and I struggle to be optimistic. To be honest quite a bit is self preservation

You're all amazing on here. Reading through your posts and struggles. Xx

Rubyroot - fingers crossed for you.
Constance - yeah I see what you mean, and I wouldn't want to hog any limited eggs! But I think it's fine, just weighing it up really.
Elles - hopefully you are right about your symptoms!
I really miss feeling like that, the monthly hope, anticipation and excitement. After over 2 years (and 2 mc) I've lost hope now and just plod through the motions each month. I just want the drudge to end. I want to feel that hope again, and only IVF can do that now. And more than likely only DE, so I need to make the choice and either give up completely, or go head first full throttle. Chances are so low now I'm just wasting time. And it's bloody depressing.

@rubyroot I feel for you, I was elated to read you have had a positive but then so sad at how you feel bless you! Hopefully 3rd time lucky for you Hun. We're all here to try to help support you. It's so hard to understand these feelings unless you've been through them and I find that is the most helpful thing about these groups is that others have experienced similar. So hopefully we will be able to give some advice or just keep your spirits up a bit.
Catlock, I agree these women are strong amazing individuals and I think IV said before I wish I'd joined a thread months ago when I really needed some support instead of lurking around like a weirdo lol!
Cleozeta... Id say it's quite simple really, if you want a baby then go for it. Regardless of how you achieve that end result, the baby will be loved and tour family will have grown and it will have been a apart of your journey. It's hard because I'm a bit of a sad case that wants world peace and all that jazz so if there's a solution to make someone whose upset happy then I think do it. But ultimately there could be other factors stopping you? Whatever you decide try to be happy! Hugs to all you ladies, were made of super tough stuff and even though we sometimes feel like we're breaking apart (I mean me when I say we haha) we get up and carry on! Xx

@rubyroot good luck!

I know what you mean about self-preservation by not daring to be optimistic, I think this is a natural reaction.

In my experience, chemical pregnancies/ pregnancies that ended in early miscarriage, and this pregnancy that has now progressed to the 2nd trimester, all had EXACTLY the same symptoms and sensations in the first weeks. Lots of cramps and twinges, feeling that my period would start any moment. You can see me freaking out about this at the start of this thread!

There’s really no way to tell - it’s so stressful in the early stages! But also, there is hope. Wishing you all the best xx

Thanks for the welcome @BooseysMom, and thanks for all the supplement lists @Russkispy & @Raffeylou

@Elles1980, I'm also having very crazy vivid dreams (went to a party where a robot tried to kill me, then lost my daughter there and found her going down a waterslide WITHOUT HER ARMBANDS ha ha! Talk about an anxiety dream!). Boobs very sore. But been here before, so also not expecting much, bracing for AF next week....

Awwww this is so lovely to read. Thanks everyone x