Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...3!

[SparrowSG]

New thread for us 40+'s

Welcome weediva
Good luck to you

Welcome @weediva

@weediva sorry to hear about your ectopic, hope you are feeling ok about it now. It must have sucked having to wait three months before you could try again. Wishing you lots of luck! x

Thank you @Cleozeta & @karryk for the welcome, good to be here!
@Constance1234 thank you! It was a horrendous experience but made us stronger and know what we really wanted. There's so many on here been through far worse so I'm thankful that I still get the chance to try x

So fed up of all this. Getting angry now. And fed up. It's been well over 2 yesrs and I'm losing hope. It's not going to happen for me. It's too late.

Hi,

Could an almost 40yo join please? I'm 39, 40 in Jan, mum to 1 energetic 2yo boy, and had 3 MC before our sticky bean became our rainbow baby. I'm not quite at the TTC stage as I have suspected MMC but am trying to work out whether to keep trying or just accept that we'll be a family of 3. I'm trying to stay away from the stats about pregnancy in your 40s, and could do with some positivity to encourage me to keep trying.

Sorry to put quite a lot out there straight away but all you guys will probably understand what an emotional rollercoaster this all is.

Oh Cleo I’m so sorry, I feel the same way. All those wasted years of not trying, and here we are. I think what we need is to find something else to focus on, but who knows what that could be. Project ‘moving house’ is well under way, but of course this is only a temporary distraction. Maybe travelling.... but we are still a good 10 years off being able to do that without having to take children along with us.
How is your house move coming along? The house we are buying, will give us quite a bit more space, which will be good as the boys get older, but the downside is we will have 2 empty bedrooms and no-one to fill them 😢

Still hoping for all of you.

I thought this bit of celebrity baby news would be good to share for the likes of Cleo, who I saw has been feeling down, and others who are in their mid 40s TTC siblings for their DC.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7185691/amp/Alanis-Morissette-45-reveals-suffered-miscarriages.html

Welcome @DiddyRebel, what is mmc please? (I don’t think you mean missed miscarriage). I do think at age 39 you still have every chance of having another baby.

Cleozeta Sorry you are feeling down, I think everyone here can relate to the feelings of anger and frustration. We started trying for #2 in September 2017, and all I have to show for it are two miscarriages (one pregnancy of unknown location in July last year, and one mmc last week) :( x

Hi @DiddyRebel Welcome. It's hard to decide whether to keep trying isn't it. We are going to give it another 6 months I think then if things don't work out, get our heads around being a family of 3 x

Ooh @Cleozeta sending big hugs... it is hard to keep positive but @Rose68 great article..
@DiddyRebel welcome...@weediva so sorry to hear about your ectopic..., 3 month wait is a long frustrating time.
@KristieP2018 I had a few months where I had 2 peaks... thought that maybe I had popped 2 eggs... nature is funny..
@Constance1234 sending big hugs, rest up and be gentle with yourself..
@Saffagette wow that's fantastic and good luck for the next few weeks...
@BooseysMom sorry af had hit... I thought mine had arrived this morning but have only had some black discharge ( SOZ TMI 😱) which I very unusual for me.. but have googled and not to worry just yet.. any one else have it sometimes?
Have a listen to liz Earle podcast this week, she has emma cannon on.... it's a lovely podcast some useful tips and comforting words...
I wonder if I conceive in the summer as I have only have 1 autumn baby... that vit d may be very useful, if we ever see it this summer of course..
sending love and baby dust to you all.. hope I haven't missed anyone out.. 💕💕

Cleo - I feel your pain so acutely. I’ve been very tearful recently because I feel like I’ve come to realize the same. I’m usually a really hopeful person but my hope has pretty much gone now. I keep on going with no contraception but I’m struggling to ovulate regularly now so that pretty much removes any hope anyway. It’s like a knife to the heart to think I’ve missed the fertility boat. And even though people say to focus on the DC you already have it still feels horrendous. I almost feel like I’m grieving someone I never got to meet yet. Someone I loved dearly but never got to cuddle. I don’t know how I’ll ever get over it but I keep on living each day and trying to move forward.

A warm (very atm!) Welcome to @weediva and sorry to hear about your ectopic. Good luck & baby dust wafting your way!

@DiddyRebel..another very warm welcome! Really sorry to hear about your rainbow baby. At 39 you are still young enough to conceive. I had DS at 40, nearly 41! I had had 2 early mc's previous to that and had given up when my miracle happened!

Cleo.. i know how you feel. I am now coming to terms with the fact i won't have a 2nd DC. It's just really hard at certain times of the month and also when i get moments when all i see are newborns . I feel myself well up inside.

Thanks Chat. That sounds unusual. I'm keeping everything crossed for you. I dream of a spring baby. DS is a winter baby so a spring/summer one would be perfect. I would have to conceive next month for it to be a April baby. I wish!!

Oh dear what is happening to everyone....im feeling down too...im 42years old going to turn 43years nxt year....i just wish we all have miracles babies....im due to go away soon all summer so hopefully we will do lot of bd....or if not conceived by then..will try reflexology and letrozole....anybody else tried letrozole???

Kimm - I think I’d like to try Letrozole as a last ditch attempt. I don’t seem to be ovulating much now so I’m thinking of asking my gp. What are your thoughts?

@littlemimosa....yes u shud definitely give it a try...i mean theres no harm...my gynaecologist gave it to me....but because im not having regular cycles she gave me some meds to induce a bleed and then take letrozole....then have 21 day progesterone blood test....i heard reflexology n acupuncture help too.

Im due to see the consultant after my holiday...so will be asking her more questions with regards to the irregular periods.
How old are you littlemimosa?....and have u got children....sorry my stupid phone wont go back to previous pages 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

Ooh ladies..... keep positive whilst we are all still ovulating we are still in the game.... it just might take a while... but we'll get there.. lisa Faulkner on Chris Evans breakfast show was just emotional. I know she has adopted but listening to her ivf story and the whole consuming focus we put on ourselves and our bodies was Interesting to listen to.. dip in on emma cannon on Instagram... everyday she posts very encouraging words and advice... highly recommended it for positivity
Sending lots of love and positive vibes 💕💕💕💕

Thank you all for your kind understanding comments, it's so nice to have somewhere I can let off steam, where people get it.
It can be so all consuming and disheartening.

Love the Alanis Morisette link, I used to love her music, good to see she's had success at 44. I wonder how she did it, as she states in her interview that she had to 'look at other avenues'. Doner egg perhaps?

Hello ladies, I've been lurking and feel a bit of a fraud as I'm not TTC, yet anyway, or over 40 (again, yet). I'm 39, 40 next year and not in a relationship. I've been anxious about whether I'll be able to conceive, so I went to fertility clinic last Feb (when I was 1 month off 38) and my egg count was ok, 16 follicles AMH of 17.4 (I believe these aren't anything to majorly worry about). Fast forward to now, I'm still not in a relationship, the big 4-0 is looming, my work has been v stressful the last few weeks, and I'm also anxious over other life changes (potential redundancy, buying a house), suffice to say I'm not in a great place. And my period was due this week, it came 3 days earlier and hasn't really been anything, very light. This is unusual as normally it gets v heavy, yet not this time, so of course I panic that I'm going through early menopause. I am a bit depressed, given all what's currently going on, which doesn't help.
I know this is only 1 period, but I am a worrier and so wondered if any of you had experienced this and it was down to stress? I also think that as I'm not currently in a relationship, time is flying by and I wonder if having a baby will ever happen. I've not really had much luck in the relationship dept, and didn't want to have a child on my own, but that might be the option. Also, what are your thoughts on surrogacy?
Sorry for the v long post! I love reading your posts and want to thank you ladies for the care and support you give each other, it helps me see reason at a time when I'm struggling with it. :-)

Welcome naturebelle.
My periods started to change at 39, although now, in hindsight I do think it was down to stress. Things have stabalised since, but I do have high FSH and low AMH with only 8 follicles. Over 2 years ttc (since around my 40th birthday) nothing to show but a mmc and a cp.
My advice is, if you want to do this on your own, don't wait around. Were you thinking of doner sperm IUI?
Once you get to 40 things do get harder and your chances get lower, egg quality declines massively, so chances of misscariages if you are lucky enough to get a bfp, are very high. As you may have read, a few of us here are starting to accept it's too late and time is up, I certainly am, at 42.
Best of luck to you, at this stage - you still have time

Rose - house move is looking to happen in the next few months so will be a good distraction for a short while, but same as you, we will now have a spare room - with no one to fill it

Welcome to the new ladies 👋🏻

Seems like everyone is feeling a bit down in the dumps and defeated! I’ve stopped bleeding since my CP so trying to dust myself down and be positive for the start of a new cycle, I’m under no illusions that time is running out but I’m not ready to give up hope yet.

What’s everyone up to this sunny weekend? DH has gone on a very rare day/evening out with his friends for a nice meal and some drinks. Ive taken the tiny terror for a look around a Pet Shop, bought him some new summer clothes, and treated him to a Happy Meal! Just chilling out tonight as we’re off to York tomorrow for a night and going to the Wildlife Park on Monday.

Well after a few odd days af hit with vengeance in the early hours... had an odd day talking to dh and we were talking about sending the kids to private school ( no judgement please) it's our old school where we met.. but it means a good few years of hard graft for starters... but I think that as it's not happened yet dh hasn't factored it into his thoughts.. more babies. I do think that's a man thing.. they just have to dtd and produce sperm don't think they are that much fussed about anything else that or think about it or obsess about it like we do... really can't imagine them on a dads group talking about spermatozoon strength, or supplements to improve its quality 🤣🤣🤣🤣
However he still enjoys the benefits of contraceptive free dtd so hard graft preggers it is... 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞 not giving up hope... first day of the next cycle !!!

lots of love to you all 💕💕
@Naturebelle so you have a particular person in mind for the next step on your path it will you be looking at sperm donation ? My youngest I had at 40 my sis had hers a 41.. xxx

@Naturebelle.. Welcome and thank you for your lovely msg. I had DS at 40, just three months off 41. You have every chance..good luck & baby dust x

@MaryShelley1818..We went to a summer fete yesterday and it was so hot we couldn't sit out for long. What shade there was was taken by cars! Hope you have a lovely weekend. Cooler today thank goodness!

Chat.. sorry AF got you. Lol to men's group! I can't imagine it either 😁