Page 24 | Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...3!

Realitysucks · 15/06/2019 19:00

Hi Girls !!! How are you all!!! So I found you at last lol! I’m sorry I just vanished but I just really needed a break. I’m not sure how many new threads I’ve missed or what news I have missed there seems too much to go through as everyone is so active. The one thing I did I see was @Russkispy I am sorry sorry Hun. I really hope you are as ok as you can be x x

I hope everyone else is well? AFM so we had our second failed round and I didn’t cope well at all. It transpires my eggs are well and truly f**d! Well they keep telling me it can still happen but I have resounded myself to the fact this isn't gonna work with my own eggs! In the meantime we have bought a house ( yup a 4 bed family gone opposite and under 5s playpark) talk about sting in it ! However, I’m in a bette replace than I was at the end of March. Work is less stressful, holiday in 4 weeks to Kefalonia and last round in September ( last ditch attempt at own eggs) then I’m on the list for a donor ! Talk about rollercoaster ride! I have missed all you ladies though !

Cleozeta · 15/06/2019 19:59

Sorry it hasn't worked yet reality, don't give up hope yet. Good that you have a back up plan so you WILL get there, one way or the other x

CritterTamer · 15/06/2019 19:59

Welcome back @realitysucks - glad you're doing ok. Sorry to hear about your second failed IVF round - did your clinic consider trying testosterone gel to improve egg quality for a cycle before moving to DE? We used it on my successful cycle.

Realitysucks · 15/06/2019 20:23

Thanks girls x All eggs that have been transferred have had the same abnormality. The quality of them was always good but same flaw in all 😞

KristieP2018 · 15/06/2019 20:24

Welcome back reality

Cleozeta · 15/06/2019 20:43

What was the flaw?

Realitysucks · 15/06/2019 20:59

@cleozeta I don’t remember the exact name but after an egg fertilises some kind of nodule ( not the technical term) separates to the out side of the egg in all of mine this showed as abnormal. They said they have still seen healthy pregnancies come from the abnormality but I don’t feel it and I feel like I’m running out of time. It’s been a big decision and still a long way to go. Originally I said I would do donor egg but when faced with the reality I have struggled to accept it. We are going to try one last time with my own. If it doesn’t work the look at a donor for middle of next year. I will be 42 then and they say there is a 60% chance of success. Lots of counselling to do first though 😬

Kimm123 · 15/06/2019 21:31

@Realitysuck....so sorry to hear your news....keep positive...it can still happen hopefully...have u tried reflexology or acupuncture???

MaryShelley1818 · 15/06/2019 22:45

Hi Reality, so sorry that sounds really tough xx Fingers crossed for you x

littlemimosa · 15/06/2019 22:59

Hi everyone.

Ellie - thinking of you.

Welcome back Reality. Sorry to hear your last round wasn’t successful. It’s so hard. Don’t give up hope yet though, you’re still relatively young. Have a look at Fertile Heart website and her books for inspiration.

Chat - me too 😂 the myth of the horny 40+ woman is obviously not a myth! Thanks for posting about Liz Earle too. Loved the inspiration.

Cleo - good to see the new device (?) is working for you. Is it opks?

Afm had a very long period again. Seems to be a thing now. Full bleed for like 6-7 days then 3-4 days of spotting. So annoying and actually very tiring. I think it’s making me a bit anaemic. Anyone else getting heavier/longer periods in their 40s? Anyway, it’s over now so as Chat would say we’re busy getting swimmers up in them tubes😊

Cleozeta · 16/06/2019 09:26

Reality - it's good that they think it's not something that ends your chances. I think you are doing the right thing having one more try then DE. At least you will know you have done all you can and the chances of success with DE are so high

Cleozeta · 16/06/2019 09:28

Mimosa - new device is opk, but it has an attachment that you put on your phone to read it. Takes all the guess work out of reading a line. I really like it

Cleozeta · 16/06/2019 09:31

I had some really long peiodsa few years ago when everything first changed (one period was over a month long, I had to take medication to stop it) after that they were over a week for quite a while, with a long period of apottimg afterwards (right up until ewcm so it was always coloured. Now things are much more stable my period is usually around 5 days with 2 or 3 days spotting.
Did uou ever get the results back from your tests? I can't remember if you told us?

Hobbes39 · 16/06/2019 09:49

Hi all - I keep checking in on you all to see how you are doing and just wanted to say hi to @Realitysucks - I'm sorry your last cycle didn't work either 🙁. One thing we did different on this cycle (which I obv have no idea if it was the key to it working r not, but worth considering?) was that the consultant decided to throw everything they could at it for me and they used 'embryogen' - a different embryo culture from their standard - that they had had some signs of being better for older eggs... might be worth asking if that's something they could try? My clinic gave it to me as a free added extra , but it's usually a couple of hundred quid extra I think? You clinic may already use this tho... mine is relatively slow on the uptake of things like that as it's an NHS clinic with self funded option, so they don't throw in loads of extras unless there is some clear evidence it could help...
Good luck for your next round xx

Realitysucks · 16/06/2019 11:34

@Hobbes39 I’m not sure if it’s the same as embryo glue but that’s what they called it at the clinic. I did have that say it’s a nutrient rich substance they add to the egg. I will ask them at the next round. How are you doing? Hope all good with you.

@Cleozeta I’m still not sure about DE till have this stupid thing in my head that says the whole point of this is for me and DH to have a child together and DE will mean it’s a child of his with someone else. He is ok with it as long as I am but I’m not sure. He says I will love it and it would still feel like mine but deep down I have all these thoughts about when people say oh doesnt the baby look like you and I will know it just can’t look like me. We’ve even had the whole conversation about would you tell the child 👶 I think we should he says no. Apparently counselling helps and I have spoken with the DE team and they say lots of women feel that way in the beginning.

Cleozeta · 16/06/2019 12:35

Reality - yeah I think it will take a lot of getting your head around. Some people say as you grow the child within you it does pick up some of your genetics, but yeah there are a few things you'll need to think about. It nay end up being oyr only o option too, but as Iwe already have genetic children I don't think we would. However if I were in this situation with no children I would withput hesitation

Realitysucks · 16/06/2019 15:35

@Cleozeta I have a 17 year old still at home from a previous relationship. DH has no children and using a donor egg kind of feels like it defeats the whole point of us having a child together. I have read loads about it and certain things can pass to the baby as it is growing but in reality when it comes down to it l, genetically it wouldnt be mine.

Russkispy · 16/06/2019 20:00

@Realitysucks thank you. I'm ok. Had my first AF since MMC and D&C. We will TTC this cycle and if not successful then all set for DE in August. I'll have to start preparations with my next AF and embryo transfer will be in August. I'd say we tried everything and more and finally came to our very last plan B - DE which I always said it would be our last option. We had IUIs, 2 rounds of IVF and the last one showed trisomy in 18. And 2 missed miscarriages. I'm already 43 and I don't want to continue this fight forever. I think DE is our best option. Again it's never guarantee with any of the treatments but we will try. And I know it's not for everyone but we're good with it and she or he will be mine. I really hope your next IVF round will be successful! 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

MaryShelley1818 · 16/06/2019 20:44

So...in my head I thought it would be the best Father’s Day present ever to be able to hand DH a BFP!!!
POAS 5 days early...BFN and now feel rubbish!! Whhhyyyyyy would I do that?!

Kimm123 · 16/06/2019 21:38

@Russkipsy.....hope ur ok....hows the reflexology going? Im so relying on that its going to work xx

Kimm123 · 16/06/2019 21:57

Hi ladies....what are your opinons about me conceiving at 42 yrs old who has had no periods since january 2019

sheshootssheimplores · 16/06/2019 22:19

DE is such a difficult subject isn’t it. I always said to DP that I would have considered DE if I hadn’t have been able to conceive my own but he wouldn’t have agreed to it. As I’m trying to conceive no.3 it wouldn’t make sense to have two biologically mine and then one genetically someone else’s. I would forever feel like i would love the child differently I think.

If however it was my last attempt of having a child I would absolutely do it.

sheshootssheimplores · 16/06/2019 22:21

Kimm i know of lots of people managing to conceive at 42. I got to 17 weeks when I was 42 but very sadly had to terminate due to the child having Edwards Syndrome which is life limiting. Have they investigated your lack of periods? Obviously you need to still be ovulating to be able to fall pregnant.

Rose68 · 16/06/2019 22:48

Hi Ladies, sorry I have been off line for a while, we were away and we are in the process of selling our house and buying a new one, so it’s manic here really.

I haven’t read back, except the last page, but just wanted to say @Realitysucks I totally get how you feel, I did broach the subject of DE with DH and was shut down before I’d even finished my sentence. I knew what he would say before he said it, and I also know he is right. As others have said, if I had no children I wouldn’t hesitate to use donor eggs, but I still think there could be difficulties, having said that, is it any different to adoption? I guess maybe it is because the child would be biologically his, but not mine. Anyway, I digress, for us at this stage with 2 biological children, we wouldn’t use DE, but I totally get why some women would and do.
I have thought about fostering.... not now... but maybe in the future when my boys are older and less demanding (if that ever happens). I’m still finding it really quite full on at ages 9 and 7, but in a different way to when they were little. DH isn’t really on board with this idea either, but I think I have a chance of talking him round, if in the future I still want to do it.

Kimm123 · 17/06/2019 00:21

@sheshootssheimplores.....thanks for replying....ive been to drs they said ive got high fsh but its fluctuating for the last 6-9 months and that it could be menopause...but apart from this no other symtoms..
The my gynae did bloods and said everything is fine...no sign of menopause...she gave me meds to induce a period then letrozole on certain days
But the funny thing is i feel i am ovulating myself with discharge etc.
I recently have done amh test and progesterone so waiting for those results.