TTC for 1 year +

[FlapJackered]

Does anyone want to join?

I have been TTC #1 for 15 months and had a MC at 8 weeks in February.
I am off to the GP tomorrow to try and get a referral to a reproductive endocrinologist.
Tried every trick and tip and old wives tale in the book to get a bfp!
It would be good to have a group of longer term ttcers to chat to.

@Broodyaf forgot to answer. I have to go back for Beta HCG, so technically not PUPO.

I know @KatBeCool
And I even asked the woman in Belfast what the waiting list was for urgent, she said everyone is routine except exceptional cases for example if you had cancer and were terminal!
One part of me thought "Thank God that's not me"
Another very selfish part thought "why would you be TTC if you were terminal?!?"

The problem over here in N.Ireland Kat is private is pretty much unheard of. I've only heard of 2 whole places in the whole of N.Ireland that there does private treatment - and because there are so many tests left to be done then by the time I found somewhere private, and they done all those tests would I be much further on? Do u understand what I mean?

Like can you, or anyone else tell me what else is done apart from:
Transavaginal exam
Day 21 bloods
Day 2-5 bloods (I haven't had these done)
Sperm analysis

So Kat am I right in saying a Beta HcG is where they officially announce you as pregnant? Or am I wrong here too?

@FlapJackered sorry to hear your feeling so low! What an insensitive twat. Just because you had a mc doesn't make it any easier. Hopefully after your surgery they'll be able to offer you something like you said it'll be a year since mc.

@Broodyaf how frustrating!!!

@Broodyaf Beta HCG is when they either announce your pregnant or crush your world. Hoping for the former.
So as far as tests, some consider HSG as one of the first tests, some don't. It was requested for me right away before starting medication. But I've read plenty of women on here going straight for medications.
Some clinics offer genetic testing too. But you listed all the most common ones.
How frustrating that you don't have any private options. You pretty much have to travel abroad. And yes, terminal women do try to ttc to leave the baby for their partners. It's quite a controversial topic.

@Mrs71 I just didn't like the idea of the needles really. I did feel very relaxed afterwards so I'm definitely going back. It was also just nice to talk things through with someone. She gave some useful general health advice, things I know I should do but haven't got round to.

@Broodyaf I'm sorry you're having to wait so long. I think I only get one round of IVF on the NHS too. I agree it's rubbish, if there's only a 30% chance each time, the likelihood is most of us will need more than one. NICE recommends 3 I think do why don't they provide 3? For the tests you mentioned, the clinic I went to did all those plus a hycosy to check your fallopian tubes are open.

Fingers crossed for you @MrsChicken89!

@FlapJackered I'm so sorry your appointment was bad after you had to fight so hard to get it. It sounds like you have a good plan, waiting until the operation and then if they still won't do anything considering going privately. It's so frustrating though.

Thanks so much for your replies ladies. So I have been following a lady on Instagram that also lives in N.ireland who had fertility issues & ended up needing IVF. So I messaged her and explained my situation. She also was referred to Belfast and had her "free go" there, which unfortunately failed. She then transferred to a private clinic called GCRM. I'm going to attach a screenshot of her msg's that scared the absolute wits out of me time-line wise! I am 37... I do not have time for this...

I need some advice now. Because our fertility clinic didn't messed up somehow, when we went in to discuss our results they didnt havey husbands sperm analysys and made him redo it then and there. Because of that we didn't have the required number of days abstinence. They seemed happy the results were normal even so. Should we try to get the GP to redo it before our NHS appointment? I'm worried we'll be told it's not valid and it will delay things otherwise...

@FlapJackered I'm so sorry ur having such a hard time. is ur DP being a good support to you? This journey is so bloody difficult and don't beat urself up for feeling low.. it's only natural. Be kind to yourself

@KatBeCool you are technically PUPO! That is the stage in between IVF/ICSI/IUI until the official announcement 🙏🙏🙏

Just caught up on messages and seems like everyone is having quite a frustrating time with fertility clinics!

@FlapJackered jeez I really wish doctors wouldn't be so insensitive about these sort of issues. Seems really odd that they're not going to treat you...so are there no action points at all from it except "carry on as you are"? That seems so unfair for you xx

@Broodyaf your wait sounds ridiculously long. The blood tests I was offered were pretty much all done on day 3. As Kat said, this is LH, Fsh, estradiol, testosterone, full blood count, thyroid, rubella etc. Then progesterone on day 21 (or 7dpo). I then had to push for transvaginal exam and referral to fertility clinic, where first step is hycosy. But seems as if this is a postcode lottery, so unfair! Really hope you sort something soon xx

@KatBeCool crossing my fingers for you! 🤞 Pls could I ask why they are doing IUI for you rather than IVF...like what is IUI a solution to!? I don't really know much about it and wondering if that might be an option rather than the IVF I'm fearing!!

Just got back from transvaginal ultrasound. The lady said I need to wait until the results are with the doctor, but that from what she could see it all looks fine. So I can sleep tonight!!

@PineappleC I can't afford ivf, so that's that. I'm 40, I don't qualify for anything and have to pay for it all. IUI is relatively cheap and is still a better option than natural, which clearly doesn't work for me.

@Broodyaf I have to agree, when time is not on your side, waiting for a whole year for something that might fail is disheartening. For women after 35 they really should speed things up, we don't have the luxury of waiting for a year. Are you able to save up if you were to travel abroad?

I am really crossing fingers for all of you. Seems like a waterfall of bad news and insensitive specialists lately. We need some good vibes!

@RosettaR if the SA results are good without the required days of abstinence then they won't make you redo, it can't get worse with more wait lol, only better. If they were bad, then they would.

KatBeCool I am 40 as well... seems like a looming timebomb to fall pregnant right? Every month I hope I am and then I’m soooo disappointed cos I’m not. What is IUI? I thought IVF was the only thing to try...

@RosettaR I would agree with Kat - the SA results wouldn't get any worse - so if your results are good without the minimum abstinence period then they should be happy at that. But maybe it's worth your while putting that question to them now rather than down the line??

@KatBeCool we have the money there for treatment, but tbh it's our wedding fund. Thankfully we haven't set a date and I would say now with this news the wedding will be out on hold. But we can get married any time ..
Being honest, I'm not liking the though of all that travelling back and forward for being poked and prodded and maybe feel so terribly sick... I think I would try the private clinic at home for 1 go anyway and see how that goes?

Whoever that man above is - needs to revise women's biological clocks - we all need another 5years!! 😂

Hi everyone,

Been reading this chat since yesterday and it’s nice to finally find a topic where I can feel understood.

TTC for 2years and 2months, MC at 6 weeks in February and a Chemical pregnancy in April.

I’ve been referred to a fertility clinic in January and it only 3 months to get the first appointment that I cancelled because of the pregnancy. As soon I new was chemical I run to the GP that send me another referral and I got another appointment last month.

@FlapJackered I’m so sorry that the appointment was not what you expected. I got out of mine with the same feeling... the doctor said everything was fine, even if the go told us that the sperm was not great, and as I has the miscarriage was a very good signal that I can do it again. He asked AMH test and if is good to keep trying for 4 months and that’s exactly the time for a year of my miscarriage. I believe that even if they don’t tell us for them everything resets. Hope the cirurgy goes well

@Broodyaf that's a long wait. And very frustrating. At 37 they should be able to di it faster
@FlapJackered he sounds awful. Getting one bfp does not guarantee another (otherwise secondary infertility would not be a thing). Sounds like you have a plan but he sounds extremely insensitive

@Unicorn9 IUI is intrauterine insemination, they take your partners sperm, wash it, and then inject it straight into the uterus bypassing the cervix. It used to be more popular until ivf became possible.

@Broodyaf DH and I got married without the wedding and don't regret it for a second. I'm sure when you're holding your mini-broodyaf, you won't care that you didn't have a wedding. Don't be so scared of the ivf, stomach injections aren't a big deal (and I'm scared of needles), you're under anesthesia for egg retrieval, the ultrasound wand isn't bad. Compared to labor, the whole process is like puppies licking you.

@Nokita welcome!

Afternoon all!

So after a lot of huffing & puffing and tears and tantrums last nite, we researched 2 private clinics - one in Northern Ireland (Belfast) and one in the Republic of Ireland (Dublin) and we have made our decision that we are going with the one in Dublin and I have just made our 1st appt... so this day 4 weeks - 18th September - we have our consultation!!

I am so excited and already I feel my biological clock slowing down!
I know it's going to cost us thousands and potentially wipe out savings, but at the end of the day, I had a savings account for a rainy day ... this is my rainy day ❤️

How are we all today??

@Broodyaf that's great news! It'll come in no time. After that things will be moving really fast. Don't be surprised if they will want to do all the blood tests over again, it's just part of the process. And there are many options after that (all of which involve medication lol).

Thanks everyone, it feels like a massive step back. I am just coming into fertile week now but I just feel like I don't have the energy to try anymore. It is frustrating that I have to wait up to 3 months for surgery to remove the cyst. It has grown a cm in a month so I am a bit concerned what it will be like by the time I get surgery. 😕

@Broodyaf I am sorry it didn't work out with the NHS, it seems so unfair, but that is great news you have made the decision to go private. Very exciting and great you don't have to rely on gps etc anymore! No more waiting around.

@Nokita I'm sorry you had a similar experience. It's frustrating that they don't really take into account the men's issues. I am just keeping everything crossed DH's lifestyle changes make a difference.

@PineappleC thanks lovely. Yes only action point was to DH to take some zinc 🙄

That is good news your scan was ok!

@FlapJackered I'm so sorry, hun. Does it hurt where the cyst is? Maybe if you're in pain, that'll speed things up (just saying).😉.

@KatBeCool good thinking. Sometimes it feels a bit uncomfortable, I have had terrible indigestion for the last month or so and I have just found out this is a symptom of cysts so I am hoping that disappears when I get the op. I have an appointment with my gp in a few weeks so I will see if I can get it moved forward.
When is af due for you? I am keeping everything crossed for you. X

@KatBeCool I got my prescription through today and it's called propylthyouracil 50mg for 2 weeks. Then she's sent me another blood test form to do before the 18th September. I wonder why she's only given me 2 weeks worth?

AF due today, but usually spotted by now, still no sign, still feeling sick and always on the edge of throwing up, still got back ache, and negative on a test this morning.

DR. Google says 12dpo is still early to test and 20/100 people only get positives after AF was due. So I'm still hoping.

@Mrs71 that doesn't sound right that you have only two weeks worth of medication, you can't exactly stop taking it, maybe ask her?

@FlapJackered so you do actually have symptoms from the cyst. Maybe add pain to it and see if you can get an appointment sooner than a few weeks? I just don't understand how something like a surgery can be delayed for three months.
AF is due on 3rd September, that's when I go in for the test. I'm hoping temping doesn't mean much because, according to FF, I ovulated on Sunday, a day before IUI, which would be really bad. However, with the trigger you're supposed to ovulate at around 36-40 hours after, which falls on Monday but my temp was already slightly above the cover line then. Maybe I should stop temping.