Trying to conceive first child with PCO/PCOS or irregular long cycles

[Catconfusion]

Hi there,

I'm currently on my 3rd cycle ttc my first child and I suffer with irregular cycles due to PCO. I conceived first cycle but it was a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. My second cycle was a chemical pregnancy. I'm now on my 3rd and it's day 34 with no ovulation yet. I'm using Ovusense to temp which helps to show when I've ovulated. I can't help but worry it was a fluke to fall quickly like I did. Just wondering if there's anyone else in a similar situation struggling with long cycles as I'm finding it really frustrating. Looking forward to chatting to some of you! x

they do all seem to come at bloody once. Sending you a massive hug. Cry, scream, beat up a cushion. Let it all out because everything you're feeling is OK to feel right now xx

@EssJayyCee I just had a look at your chart. Could this be O? You have an upwardly trending chart. I'd be interested in what the next fee days bring.

I'm so sorry you had more announcements. Just try and be as positive as you can. Don't let it steal. Your energy away as you're doing so well! Xx

@CatConfusion No definitely not O it dropped again this morning. :(
I have been having stabbing pains in my left ovary and where I imagine my uterus is for the last couple of days I just wish I knew what my body was doing.
Thanks @sleepingstandingup I had a cry and a shout about why it can't be our turn. My partner tries to make it better by saying we have loads of time but Its still hard when all you want is it to happen now.

I'm sorry @EssJayyCee it's such a hard position to be in. You're ready to start your family now and it's even more soul destroying when your body is confusing you. I really would recommend Inositol. I'm taking the Zita West one and I'm convinced it's balancing out my hormones. There's really good research to suggest it regulates cycles and improves ovulation. I'll let you know for sure if my ovulation is better this next cycle.

I'm still waiting for Af which feels imminent. I'm very crampy and have a heavy feeling in my tummy xx

Has AF arrived @CatConfusion?

My partner wants me to do a pregnancy test but I'm 96% positive I'm not pregnant.

I am having weird things going on like breathlessness and fatigue and random feelings in my abdomen so I can see why he wants me to but my temps haven't indicated a clear ovulation so I'm pretty sure it's going to be BFN.

Doing the test in the morning. I'm going to be sad about seeing the result but need to put our minds at rest by just doing it.

AF is welcomed at this point on CD 62!

Hey @EssJayyCee yes it came yesterday. I've been feeling really emotional so hoping it passes soon.

Seeing a bfn is always hard. Its really tough to make partners understand how complicated irregular cycles are. It might be best just for peace of mind though. I really hope AF comes so you get some closure on this wtf cycle. I know I used to get some odd symptoms with longer cycles. I think now it was probably the hormone fluctuations. It's so frustrating. Good luck! Xx

@CatConfusion Aw I hope it passes quick for you! At least you know now that you can start a fresh this month now!
64 days is my longest recorded cycle so hopefully she will be here in the next couple of days! Otherwise it's even more wtf.

Thanks @EssJayyCee exactly! It's definitely good but my hormones are a bit of a mess.

I doubt you'll have another long one after this. I find I get a short one after a long. I hope it comes soon! Xx

@CatConfusion bless you, just try and be positive.

I have taken the test its BFN.
Have you ever looked so hard at a test and forced yourself to see a line? I did it this morning before snapping myself out of it. I knew it would be negative. 😑

@EssJayyCee yes I've definitely done that. It's really soul destroying.

I'm trying to think what you could do to bring on a period. I know sometimes lots of dtd used to do it. Will you see the doctor if it goes on much longer? I hope it comes soon! Xx

@CatConfusion Yes I think I will because we want a baby and we can't if I'm not ovulating so I feel helpless. I don't think they will do anything though.

I can't get to the doctors until a week on Monday because of work hours so I've got another week for AF to come. It's day 64 tomorrow.. I was hoping it would have come by then or on the day. I was kind of coping with the fact 64 days must be my longest but looks like it's going to be longer this time and then I'm going to drive myself crazy in anticipation.
I knew TTC was going to be a long journey but it has really destroyed me having this stupid long cycle the first month we try! I just feel so broken.

I think it's a good idea. Does the doctor know how long you've been trying or could you exaggerate?

It's such bad luck to have such a long cycle the first month. I do know stress can have an impact. It's so hard to relax when it's such an important thing. I'm going to try really hard to be more chilled this cycle. Xx

They can give you a pill to induce a period once they've checked you're not pregnant, that would at least restart you.

But def push to see someone about your periods. I told doc I wasn't going til he did the referral(was 18 months without a period, not ttc) You should get a gynae referral.
Fertility is two years of trying but you need to insist on a gynae refettal and that may start to answer some questions for you.

I agree with @SleepingStandingUp it's too much emotional stress to handle when you have irregular periods but want to get pregnant. It's such a strain on relationships too because impossible to get the timing right when you don't know when you'll ovulate. If mine hadn't got much better I'd be demanding a referral. Xx

I had ultrasound and blood tests in November for irregular periods with one doctor and he said to go back in 6 months of TTC which would be this month...
But I went to the doctors in March and told another doctor we had only just started trying that month.
So it depends if she wrote it on my notes or not as to whether I could exaggerate..

I really don't think they are going to help me yet. I'm a lost cause with a broken body no one will ever care.

@EssJayyCee your body is not broken. Many women have irregular cycles. My mum didn't think she'd have a baby when she got married as she hadn't had a period in a year. With Clomed she has my sister at 25 and me at 30.

I'd say you've not used contraception in a year but only just started temping/tracking cycles.

I'm sure you'll achieve your dream of having a baby. Try not to be down on yourself. There's not much we can do about genetics. Did your mum have problems like this?

If you can afford it Inositol and or Angus Castus might help in the meantime. Xx

Yes fib, say you thought he meant actively tracking etc. but that you've been contraceptive free for X months.

Also make an appt to go back to that doceh osae you. Ttc or not, you deserve answers to why your body isn't doing as exected.

You are not broken. I did 18 months without a period

@Catconfusion I got diagnosed with pco when I was 19 and was told then by a very arrogant doctor that I was go away and lose a considerable amount of weight before the nhs would consider helping me.

Fast forward 10 years and I'm in a position where I want to find out what is now happening with my body. Me and my partner go to the fertility clinic to be told that because my partner has kids I would not be entitled to IVF through the NHS but can have the tests. So after all the tests it was confirmed that everything was in order apart from my pcos.

I pay £23 for 6 months worth of tablets and a list of things to do to help things along (lose weight, sex 2-3 times a week etc). This was the beginning of 2018 and after a discussion with my partner we decided that we were going to focus on other things and assess things nearer to the use by date of the tablets.

Even though we were never actively tracking my ovulation it was mentally exhausting for both of us each month when there was a negative test result so we decided to not put ourselves through it anymore and to just get on with the other things happening in our lives.

So March comes along and I start to feel ropey and say to my partner I must be having the worst phantom period ever. He suggests a test which I say there is no point to taking as we both no the outcome and why put ourselves through it again. Anyway there is one in the house which he send me off to do and 3 minutes later we are staring at a positive test. I am now 14+1 with a natural conception. My weight was the same as when I was discharged from the clinic and sex was no where near the recommended amount.

Sorry about the length of the post but I just wanted to put out there that there is hope. My cycles vary between 35-93 days and I have the upmost admiration and respect for all you woman that are so focused on the tracking etc. You are so brave and strong but please go easy on yourselves and try not to put too much stress on yourselves. I had resided myself to the fact that I was always going to be an Aunty and a step-mum and never a mummy and when I had stopped thinking about it I got the shock of my life.

Good luck to you all xxx

Arh @Preggers86 that's a lovely outcome for you both. Thank you for sharing your story. It is really tough with irregular cycles and can really mess with mental health and well-being.

I'm lucky in some respects that conceiving has been easy but keeping the babies tough after two miscarriages. I'm also nearly 40 so tracking my cycles is really important as time is running out.

You're right though, the pressure and stress of it all can really take its toll. I'm feeling much more chilled this cycle and I'm hoping this will stand me in better chances.

Good luck with your pregnancy. I hope it's healthy and problem-free for you! Xx

@Catconfusion thank you. I didn't want it to come across as I was bragging. I've been through all the emotions since finding out about my pcos. First was the heartbreak, all I ever wanted was to be a mum, then the upset of why me what had I done to deserve this. Then the anger and resentment when being told friends and family were expecting mixed in with the overwhelming sense of happiness for them. It really is soul destroying. I think what I was trying to get across was that sometimes woman put too much stress and expectations on themselves that it can have the opposite effect to what they want to achieve and that regardless of everything we are amazing x

Didn't come across like that at all @Preggers86 I completely agree with you. The psychological aspect of ttc can definitely hinder progress. I'm very early on and only a few cycles in, two of which were my miscarriages. It's heartbreaking sometimes to see ladies who've been trying for a long time being really hard on themselves when it's not their fault. I think it happens for most people with time and the amount of stories I've read like yours where it's happened when least expected seem the majority. Relaxing and not getting caught up with the stress of tracking is really tough, especially after pregnancy loss or when our bodies are not easy to read. I do however think it helps to go with the flow because life is about enjoyment and living! Xx

@SleepingStandingUp @CatConfusion how are you doing?

Early scan booked for Tuesday x

Any news on AF @EssJayyCee

Hey @EssJayyCee I'm ok thanks, cd 6 and planning to start digital opks on Monday.

How are you doing? Xx

That's great news @SleepingStandingUp I bet time is moving slowly. Just keep busy and hopefully it'll come as quick as possible! Xx

It's so exciting. My fingers are crossed the scan all goes well!

No news on AF.. Still plodding along currently at CD66 no significant temp peaks or dips.
I'm trying not to over think everything right now and just hoping AF will turn up soon.