Trying to conceive first child with PCO/PCOS or irregular long cycles

[Catconfusion]

Hi there,

I'm currently on my 3rd cycle ttc my first child and I suffer with irregular cycles due to PCO. I conceived first cycle but it was a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. My second cycle was a chemical pregnancy. I'm now on my 3rd and it's day 34 with no ovulation yet. I'm using Ovusense to temp which helps to show when I've ovulated. I can't help but worry it was a fluke to fall quickly like I did. Just wondering if there's anyone else in a similar situation struggling with long cycles as I'm finding it really frustrating. Looking forward to chatting to some of you! x

@Avocuddles Thank you for asking how I am it means alot.

I am doing so much better today, I decided to take today off of work just to give myself an extra day to feel better in myself and it seems to have worked. I am still bleeding but I think it is slowing down a little now (although I have thought that a couple of times this weekend and it continued being quite heavy).

Thank you for the optimism @CatEnabler I doubt I'll be more fertile in the first 3 months though because my body doesn't like to fit to "the norm" so I probably won't even ovulate for 6 months knowing my luck!

@Catconfusion I think I am ready to be pregnant again. You have no idea how much happiness it brought to myself and my DP it would be a miracle for us to get pregnant again sooner rather than later. Of course the worry of it happening again with always be there but it's something we both want so so much so not even this little blip will get in the way.

We will go on with a positive mind and hopefully our rainbow baby will be the one to make it happen for us. The one to make us parents.

How soon should I ovulate?
Obviously there will be no BD'ing until the bleeding has completely stopped but how long after that is possible?

When does BBT go back to normal ish?

@EssJayyCee I think for ladies like us the question of 'when will I ovulate' probably needs a crystal ball to be answered! After my most recent loss I had a period after about 35 days but didn't ovulate that cycle, my next cycle was 60 days and it's unclear whether I ovulated then or not, then at the start of this month i ovulated / conceived on CD22. After my first miscarriage I conceived on the second cycle though in retrospect don't think my body was really recovered then. Hopefully your bleeding will stop soon. I would recommend waiting until you have a negative pregnancy test before you get back to unprotected BD but it's great that you're feeling optimistic and enthusiastic about trying again - fingers crossed it won't be long until you have your rainbow BFP xx

@EssJayyCee I can’t say I know exactly how you’re feeling but I know both the pregnancies I lost meant the world to me. I was devastated when they ended. I also know I underestimated how much time I needed to recover physically and psychologically. I literally just wanted to be pregnant again and that need was even stronger with unpredictable cycles. It felt like not only had my babies been taken away but my chance to try again was so uncertain. In reality I needed a break to get my head straight but I couldn’t see it. Everyone is different and you know best how you feel.

I think it’s great you are feeling positive and ready. It can be a rollercoaster recovering from something like this so just take care of yourself. You’ll know when it feels right.

Ovulation is such a tricky one. My second loss played out a lot like yours and I ovulated on day 32. Definitely wait for a negative test as @Avocuddles suggested. See the doctor if there’re any concerns.

I hope you continue to feel better each day and it’s not too long before you can try again xx

How are you getting on @Avocuddles? I hope everything is ok! xx

@Catconfusion I'm ok thanks, just feeling frustrated knowing how slowly time is going to move over the next few weeks. The fertility clinic have (reluctantly) agreed to give me a scan at 7 weeks which is 3 weeks today - I'm preparing myself for bad news then (if not earlier) but can't help but try to hold onto a glimmer of hope that things might be different this time. I've started my enoxaparin injections and aspirin (again) and an waiting for an appointment with the blood specialist, but other than that it's a case of just try to carry on with everyday life. The world moves so slowly in early pregnancy!

@Avocuddles I totally relate to your feelings ! The first weeks are so very slow and stressful. I keep my fingers crossed for you and your baby !

@Avocuddles I can imagine it’s really tough but try to hold onto to that bit of hope. I know you’ve probably heard it before I.e. each pregnancy is different, it’s unlikely to end the same way etc so I won’t overtly say those things. When people said stuff like that to me I couldn’t believe it because my only experience of pregnancy was loss. All you can do as you say is carry on and keep busy.

It’s great you can have a scan at 7 weeks which I’m sure will help as terrifying as early scans can be. TBH the worry never completely goes away. I had a period of 8 weeks after my 20 week scan where I felt more confident. Since then we’ve found out baby is abnormally big and I’m being monitored for gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. Also just been put on blood thinners as the doctor is worried I will get a clot.

Pregnancy is tough and even tougher when you know firsthand how easily it can be snatched away.

I just really hope it’s third time lucky for you like it was for me. Xx

@Catconfusion I'm sorry things are still stressful for you. Are you on the injections? I have to take them from BFP through to a month or so after birth as I had a major blood clot that was linked to the contraceptive pill around ten years ago. You get used to it pretty quickly though it's not pleasant. Thanks for your good wishes, I'm trying to stay positive but it's tricky when my previous pregnancies both followed the same path. As you say hopefully third time lucky!

@Avocuddles yes they want me to start injectable heparin. I’m seeing the midwife about it today. In my case there are no other risk factors apart from age and I’m a little bit less mobile due to having arthritis in my hips. Still pretty active though. As baby is big and bump is huge they are worried I’ll not be able to walk much as the third trimester progresses. I just want to make sure it’s worth doing before I start it as I was told aspirin was enough for the age related risk. I guess the mobility aspect has raised a red flag.

The clot must have been really scary. After my Dad had a heart attack it’s always been a fear of mine, getting a clot. It’s good they got you on the injections just in case. I can imagine it’s really tough at the moment. I hope the next few weeks go as quick as can be expected. Xx

@Catconfusion yes the clot scary but I try to stay calm. I spent 8 days in hospital at the time and was on blood thinners for a year, it took a long time to recover physically and an even longer time mentally but I've come to terms with it now and happy to just plough on! My DH had a heart attack 3 years ago at just 33 so we've both had to live with probably a more keen sense of our own mortality than most people our age. It's one of the reasons I won't let fertility issues or pregnancy loss break me - I'm just grateful to have my own health, anything else is a blessing!
You'll be fine if you have to have the injections. They are very commonly prescribed in pregnancy and also after childbirth, in particular for women who've had C sections. How many weeks are you now again? x

Oh no that sounds horrendous and your poor DH too @Avocuddles. You’re both clearly very resilient and have a good mindset. Just such bad luck at a young age. Hopefully now things will be just fine. It’s amazing how quickly life can change.

I’m 28 weeks today. I’m sure I’ll be fine with the injections and I’d rather cover all bases. It’s just a shock because I’ve always been marked low risk for clots in my notes. I guess the consultant disagreed. I’m a little worried about bleeding during the birth but I’m sure there will be a plan for that. In fairness I am being very well cared for. xx

@Catconfusion the clot must be quite scary ! I hope everything will settle and you will have a peaceful end of pregnancy !
@Avocuddles your husband's heart attack must have been a traumatic experience !! I keep my fingers crossed for you and your baby, hope the scan will bring you good news !!
I have no sign of a cycle starting so I am frustrated, my BBT is the same pretty much everyday.

@Ellabb I don’t have a clot and no big risk factors so blood thinners are just a precaution. The midwife has has told me to wait until 30 weeks to start them.

WHY IS EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD SO AGAINST ME!??!

I have had a letter today saying I've been discharged from the Gynaecology department and back to my GP. So now I am back to square one.

I give up with everything!

I’m so sorry @EssJayyCee that’s so odd considering you were given another appointment. Have you spoken to your GP? If not ring up tomorrow and see how you can get seen again. xx

@EssJayyCee call both your GP and the gynae team to explain. I had the same when I fell pregnant for the second time but my GP contacted the hospital and they were happy to get me back in.

@EssJayyCee call both your GP and the gynae team to explain. I had the same when I fell pregnant for the second time but my GP contacted the hospital and they were happy to get me back in. Don't give up until they give you a response you're happy with!

@Catconfusion @Avocuddles

I don't have a number for Gynae team... the only number I have is to the secretary there so I don't think I can do much with that side of things..

I am going to get an emergency appointment with the GP today and hoping the doctor who has dealt with me is available so she has some knowledge of my story so far.

I fear there will be nothing she can do... I feel like I'm just going to be on my own from now. Why would they want to help someone who has got pregnant naturally?

I am just a lost cause.

@EssJayyCee I think an emergency appointment is a good idea. It’s unlikely you’d get hold of the gynae doctor you saw anyway. The secretary is probably a better shot. I would see what the GP says first.

You are not a lost cause. It doesn’t matter that you fell pregnant naturally. Your cycles are irregular and this has not been fully investigated. If I was you I would certainly want to know if low progesterone could have led to the loss. A blood test to look at vitamin D and your thyroid might be worth doing too. Most losses are random but it’s worth ruling out some obvious causes. Your GP should be able to do some basic tests.

You shouldn’t be expected to just try again without support considering your ovulation is so sporadic.

I really hope the GP gives you the support you need! Xx

@Catconfusion
I have had my thyroid checked before and it was normal.

What should I say to the secretary if I phone them?
Surely they can't cancel my discharge or anything like that?

I really hope you're right and they continue to give me support. I honestly don't think I will conceive again without support. That's the only reason we conceived because I had relaxed because I knew we were getting help.

This week has been so tough. I have 4 days off now so hopefully I will feel better for work next week. 🤞🏻

How are you doing? X

@EssJayyCee your situation is so similar to mine - each of the times I've conceived was when we'd put no pressure on because I was awaiting treatment.

Explain to the secretary that you have been TTC for x months and had been referred to the clinic when you feel pregnant naturally. You've unfortunately had an early loss but are very keen to continue under the clinic due to your long history of very irregular cycles. She may say there's nothing they can do and to speak to your GP about re-referral. It was my GP who managed to get me back under the clinic by writing to them directly explaining the situation. The fact that I'm over 35 may also have helped but there's no chance in asking. Crass at it sounds I've found you tend to get more success if you break down in tears so definitely don't try to hold it all in!

Glad you have a few days of rest before getting back to work. It's easy to underestimate how badly a miscarriage will affect you for the long term, I'm sure none of us will ever forget our losses regardless of any successes in the future....

@Avocuddles thank you for your ongoing help and well wishes it really does mean alot.
Both you and @Catconfusion have done more for me than you will ever realise!

I have got an appointment with the GP that has sorted everything for me at 10.15 this morning. I am hoping she will be able to re-refer me and give me some information on what will happen next.

If I don't get many answers or anything from her I will ring the secretary. But I'm hoping so hard things will get back on the track we were on before.

What I don't understand is why I got a gynaecology appointment through after my last appointment and then a week after that get a discharge letter. I will probably ring the secretary anyway because I need to know if that appointment still stands or if it's been cancelled.

This whole journey has been such a mess. I wish it could be simpler for us all.

How are you feeling ? Xxx

I'm feeling ok thanks. I'm a bit addicted to taking pregnancy tests at the moment and taking comfort in seeing progression, though I know it doesn't mean anything as both of my previous pregnancies showed 'normal' progression over the early weeks too. Time seems to move so slowly and my first scan isn't until 10th feb, but just trying to take each day as it comes.

Let us know how you get on with the GP, will be crossing my fingers for you x

@EssJayyCee it’s good you’ve had your thyroid checked.

I would echo what @Avocuddles has said regarding speaking to the secretary. They may be able to speak to the consultant who could then reinstate your referral. Hopefully the GP can do this on your behalf. I would also say letting the GP see how distressing this situation is, even if tears come is important. You were just about to get help when this happened and it would be so unfair if it’s taken away.

I’m not bad thanks. I’m at the hospital today having my glucose tolerance test. My baby is very big and they want to check I haven’t got diabetes. Honestly the worry never goes away.

As @avocuddles said you never forget losses. This time last year I was in a similar situation to you and feeling like no one would help me. Luckily I then got amazing support and although we conceived naturally in the end, I feel like if we hadn’t it would have been ok. I’m happy to support you as I know how bewildering it can all be.

There’s a good chance you will see the consultant again soon. If there’s any problems with this, I’d make a complaint.

Good luck today and let us know how it goes at the doctors. Take as much time off work as you can and rest up! xx

So the GP told me to phone Gynae secretary to see if my appointment was still there and if it wasn't she was going to re-refer us but wasn't sure if they'd take me on again.

I phoned the secretary and she said I was discharged because of the positive pregnancy test but I said to her I had had a miscarriage and she said I can still attend my appointment.

So I am feeling alot more positive now. My support system is still there.
And talking things through with my GP was good and reassuring and put my mind at ease a bit.
She is the loveliest GP I have ever had. I'm so glad I found her through this journey!