Trying to conceive first child with PCO/PCOS or irregular long cycles

[Catconfusion]

Hi there,

I'm currently on my 3rd cycle ttc my first child and I suffer with irregular cycles due to PCO. I conceived first cycle but it was a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. My second cycle was a chemical pregnancy. I'm now on my 3rd and it's day 34 with no ovulation yet. I'm using Ovusense to temp which helps to show when I've ovulated. I can't help but worry it was a fluke to fall quickly like I did. Just wondering if there's anyone else in a similar situation struggling with long cycles as I'm finding it really frustrating. Looking forward to chatting to some of you! x

No I should have done one alongside it but I didn't think @Catconfusion.

I want to call the doctors but I know I won't get an appointment until a week or so away. And I can't get an emergency appointment because I am at work when you need to ring for one.

I feel like this baby has gone or is going.

Typical when I've just been discharged from fertility help.

I feel so crap.

I am so worried.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way @EssJayyCee Coukd you request a call back from the doctor if you can’t get in to see one? If I was you I think I’d do an FRER after a four hour hold and see how that goes. Those digital tests have a lot to answer for. I’ve seen quite a few ladies on here panicking because the weeks haven’t moved up. There’s a good chance it’s just the test. Your worry is understandable though and it’s such an anxious time anyway. Could you do an ic or any FRER on your lunch break? Xx

@EssJayyCeess I would be super stressed too !! If you could have blood tests it would really answer your questions ; blood tests are way more reliable and show the hormones' level evolution.

@EssJayyCee I'm sure things are OK...take a range of tests, I've heard FRERs are the most reliable Xxx

I have got my midwife appointment for next Thursday. I'll only just be 7 weeks then so it's quite early on!

I am hoping nothing bad happens between now and then.

That’s great @EssJayyCee Be sure to tell her you’ve been worried about the tests.

I’m not saying this will happen you you but I expressed concern about pregnancy loss to my midwife. She wouldn’t even talk about it because I was 8 weeks and I’d had no bleeding or severe cramping. Also the test she did was a blazing strong positive. At that point we’d lost the baby two weeks before, we just didn’t know. It was a missed miscarriage. Hcg takes a while to come out of your system so that’s why I was testing strong positive. I guess there’s no way she could have known.

I guess my point is even if your test was showing 2-3 weeks ifs difficult to know what’s going on until you have an ultrasound or a blood draw. The tests don’t give you any guarantees. Some ladies have faint lines and all is ok. Some have strong positives and it’s not.

Of course it’s unlikely you’ll be in that situation but it’s worth mentioning you didn’t get the correct number of weeks on the digital and you’re concerned. She may do a blood test or refer you for an ultrasound which would give you some reassurance.

I still think it’s those digital tests being rubbish but it’s worth checking it out. Honestly if something has happened you are better knowing sooner rather than later. I’ve got everything crossed for you! Xx

Hi ladies. Just wondered if I could get your opinion on this....
I've been feeling a bit crampy the past couple of days so thought I might as well take a test. I would only be 9DPO but am very clear on dates as we only DTD unprotected once when I had a potential surge. I'm supposed to starting ovulation induction next week but could it be......?

I can definitely see a faint line. Try again in a couple of days and hopefully you will have a stronger one! Congratulations xxx

Oh wow @Avocuddles I can see a line. It looks positive to me. I got one at 9 dpo and it looked similar. I’ve attached the picture. That’s amazing news. I’m so happy for you! When will you test again? Xx

Thanks @EssJayyCee! I'm shaking as didn't expect to see this again without medical help. I'm terrified but keeping my fingers crossed!

@Catconfusion I have boxes full of internet cheapies at home so might try another tomorrow but will try to wait until Sunday before I try another FRER. I did just order four more from amazon prime
I initially used a cheapie and it had the slightest 'smudge' on it which is the only reason I used the FRER. Eek!

@Avocuddles I am so happy for you 😊
It's typical getting a positive when you're just about to get help!

@EssJayyCee if it does turn out to be BFP then it will weirdly be the third time I've one just before I've been supposed to start fertility treatment. On the plus side the fertility clinic have already told me this if I did get a natural BFP they'll support me with early scans etc. If I still have a line come Monday I'll have to get back in touch with the consultant and start taking my blood thinning injections again....

@Avocuddles That's good that they are still going to support you!

That's my worry at the moment.. I have been spotting/lightly bleeding the last two days and am scared I have lost the baby and I won't get help again.

@EssJayyCee don't worry about that. Hopefully everything will be fine but if things did go wrong then the fact that you have been TTC for a long time with no success doesn't change. I've been pregnant twice and am still under the clinic. Just concentrate on looking after yourself now, there's no need to be worrying about that. Fingers are crossed for you! x

Thank you @Avocuddles I got another appointment through the post yesterday which I wasn't expecting so at least I have an appointment lined up if anything does happen.

I have passed a small clot this morning and dripping blood when on the toilet.

I'm still trying to be positive and optimistic but I just know they won't see anything on the scan later. I just know it.

@EssJayyCee I’m so sorry to read this. It’s not sounding good but you never know. Just look after yourself. Do whatever feels right to cope before you have the scan. I hope it goes as well as possible. I’m glad they’ve sent you another appointment for the clinic so you have continued support. Xx

@Avocuddles it’s odd how these things happen just before appointments. My BFP was two weeks before my first fertility clinic appointment. I hope you get a nice strong line when you test! I found doing a cheapie every day in the early days helped me cope even though sometimes there wasn’t much difference. Great you’ll be closely monitored this time too! Xx

As I thought, I have had a miscarriage.
Baby was nowhere to be seen and I have been passing a few clots all day.

I feel so empty and lost right now. DP is so upset too. I have only ever seen him cry twice before today.

What happens next? I was too upset to ask questions at the hospital.

All I know is she said it takes 4-6 weeks for first period... which is more like 4-6 months with my dodgy body.

How long am I likely to bleed for?

Oh @EssJayyCee I am so so sorry to hear your news.

My losses were both at 7-8 weeks and I bled (like a heavy period) for about a week, but had some ongoing bleeding for a week or two more. I think my first 'period' was around five or six weeks after my miscarriage each time but I'm pretty certain I didn't ovulate either time. It took me 2-3 weeks to get a negative test each time, it's a good idea to do this to make sure that everything is gone and there is no risk of infection.
Practicalities aside, the most important thing to do is to look after yourselves and give yourself some time to grieve and come to terms with your loss. I rushed back to work far too quickly after my first MC when I really wasn't in a fit state of mind to be there. Second time round I took a week off and just spent time seeing friends and relaxing which made me feel a lot better.

As and when you are ready get back in touch with your fertility clinic and explain exactly what has happened. Hopefully they will be happy for you to still come in as previously planned. Now that you know that you can ovulate, it's likely that the best course of action will be ovulation monitoring, and hopefully you won't have to wait long.

I am thinking of you and sending you a big hug. I know nothing I can say will take away the pain you are feeling right now but I understand, and am here for you.

@EssJayyCee I feel so sorry for you ! It is very cruel that you had to wait for so long to get pregnant and then go through a miscarriage ! Sending you big hugs, although I know nothing can relieve your pain !

@Avocuddles congrats ! I keep my fingers crossed for you !

Oh no @EssJayyCee I’m so sorry. It’s horrible news for you both and really sad you’re having to go through this. It’s a year ago today we got confirmation of our first lost and I’ll never forget how lost I felt. It doesn’t matter how early on it is or the circumstances, it’s a shock and a devastating loss. Please know you will be ok and you are strong enough to get through this. Do anything self care wise you think might help. Whether it be a glass of wine or watching Netflix. Of course nothing will take the pain away but just look after yourself in any way that feels right.

My second loss was at 5 weeks and it felt like a heavy period for about 5 days. I just checked and I ovulated 32 days later. This was about normal for me at the time. It’s difficult to say what your body will do. Some ladies find they are more fertile. After my first loss I ovulated and got pregnant again 3 weeks later, unfortunately this was my second loss.

Its likely the emotional side of this will be the hardest thing to deal with so be gentle with yourself. Pregnancy loss is so cruel and random. You did nothing wrong and there’s nothing you could have done to prevent it.

Most who have a loss or two or even three go on to have a healthy pregnancy. I know that’s probably not much comfort now but remember, you are not broken.

I will keep you and your partner in my thoughts. It will get easier. We’re all here to support you when you need it. Xxx

@EssJayyCee how are you? Have been thinking of you. Hope you're as ok as you can be x

@EssJayyCee so sorry to hear of your loss 😔 I hope things return to normal for you soon. I have read however it can be easier getting pregnant within the three months after an MC

@EssJayyCee I’d agree with @CatEnabler that it can happen quickly after a loss. Just make sure you’re physically and mentally in a good place before trying again. When my second pregnancy happened straight after my missed miscarriage in hindsight I wasn’t ready to be pregnant. I would have been an anxious mess it that pregnancy had continued and not ended in another mc. In the end I had 4 months to grieve and get my head straight which I needed after having two losses back to back. You probably won’t need as long but don’t assume it couldn’t happen straight away. It was a massive shock when it happened to me with such crazy cycles. Xx

Hi. I would echo what @Catconfusion says about not rushing if you don't feel ready. I fell pregnant two months after my first miscarriage and when that one also ended in loss I was a wreck. This time round I deliberately stepped away from TTC for a couple of months to give both my body and mind time to heal and I do feel so much stronger for it, and ready to face whatever happens. You may find your cycles are shorter, or as long as ever. My last cycle was 60 days long with no sign of ovulation but this month I ovulated on CD22, there seems to be no pattern or logic to it!
Either way make sure you get the ball rolling again with the fertility clinic so you have a fallback plan in place, though hopefully you won't need it xx