35+ TTC#1 Thread 6

[BambiOnIce80]

Spring is in the air and it's time for a new thread!

Basically: a wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the TTC journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Here's hoping we get some spring BFP luck for all of us!! 🍀🐣🍀🐣

Which one won last night @Carley32 - Netflix or SA sample preparatory work?! 😉

Oh blimey, the thread moved on a bit since I last checked! Glad to hear some of you are getting somewhere with medical investigation but I'm really 😠 about some of the shitty attitudes that you've had to get past first.

@BambiOnIce80 glad to hear you got one in the bag so to speak! Sounds like the sex strike is over 👍👌

@VenusStarr so sorry that you're going through this, but I am glad you don't appear to have any more complications 💐

I’m getting increasingly pissed off with the IVF people going ahead with the follow up appointment, knowing this test result was missing! What was the point? Also my consultant isn’t around to talk to me today and neither are any of the others. Not too sure what I am paying astronomical amounts for at this point. I’m also peed off with the NHS for not doing this test as standard, which meant that me and DH wasted loads of time thinking everything was fine and it was just a case of bad luck.

Have been reading about dna fragmentation and it sounds like we might be good candidates for ICSI. However, I have read various things which suggest that for ICSI there is an increased risk of birth defects, which concerns me.

@BambiOnIce80, that article you shared was very interesting. Read it on the bus to work this morning!

Lovely to hear from you @Weathergirl1! 😃 How are you feeling now? Have you wrapped your head around the BFP yet?! 😉

If you fancy some more commuting reading material @beverlymarsh (🤓), then maybe have a go at this one next:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5643677/

It's one I picked up about sperm DNA fragmentation testing (amongst other SA's) because it featured on this list of 'tests to consider' from my acupuncturist. It gives a bit of insight into why it's not on the NHS test list and why the HFEA hasn't green-lighted it yet (or if they ever will). Have to say we're not going to go for any of the tests my acupuncturist suggested having read around, but it's a very personal choice and everyone will choose differently!x

@BambiOnIce80 what do you make of the EmbryoScope/time lapse thing? I don't know if it would be an option for us but from what I've read, although limited research, it sounds interesting and a sensible hypothesis.

For those who's partners have had the sperm analysis done...does the gp just give your fella a form like a blood test Or do they have the pots there and then?! Fella has his gp appt this arvo to request the test xxx

@Laney79 my DH was given a request form then had to phone the lab. He booked an appointment with them. Its a three week wait for an nhs appointment in our area. They then sent out a special pot and instructions in the post. Hope that helps! Xx

Oooh, yes @Laney79! 🤓 That was one of the very few things I could get on board with from all the stuff I was reading about! It's one of the few that has studies that don't conflict much/at all 👍 I think the only thing that's holding it back from being green lighted by the HFEA is that there's not enough large studies published about it yet (just my opinion, of course 🤓). I would probably go with having it done, if it's an option.

On the standard SA front, it's a bit hypervariable depending which hospital your GP is linked to. My ex had to get a request form and a pot from the GP, produce the sample at home and then race to get it to the lab within an hour (which wasn't easy). DP's experience was entirely different - got a request form from the GP and then went to the lab where he was instilled in a 'production room' (😳) with a pot (and plenty of porn! 😂) to produce his sample and handed it straight over for analyses (pretty efficient, it has to be said 👍). Wishing your DP luck for later! 🍀

@BambiOnIce80 I am thankfully not feeling nauseous but my digestive system has gone to pot - it is really not happy at all... I'm having to eat very small amounts of food all day otherwise I get really bad indigestion 😵. Came off some of the vitamins I was taking after speaking to the GP last week (she said to check the dose in
pregnacare - but those are just general multivitamins so much lower than some I have been taking) and I've had an urticaria flare up. So I went back to see her yesterday and she agreed that I am probably ok to keep taking the B12 (given my bloods last year were only middle of range despite taking high dose B12!) but that she'd request a blood test to check B12, folate, D & iron. So I had that yesterday with the other blood tests that I needed to have after the booking in appointment - I was relieved that my GP was happy to do that all in one go as I don't like needles at all - but I guess it actually saves an appointment too!

I've just booked for the Harmony test this morning so that's now in the diary. I expect I'll have another 'Oh shit what have we done?' when we get to that point if everything is in order by then 😱

Seeing the discussion on here about IVF information made me think about the bumph they give you at the booking appointment (feeding your child... Seems a bit bloody early for my liking - I might not get that far 🙄- I said that to the midwife too!) that has made me a bit 😡. The PHE booklet on screening is not IMHO enough information in order to make an informed decision about whether to take their tests... They don't discuss false positives at all. I guess I'm lucky to have a scientific background and a desire to do my own research (and grateful that Emily Oster wrote her book) but it makes me quite cross that the average person in the street isn't given that information... Sorry, rant over.

Thanks @BambiOnIce80 and @Catconfusion for the info. Hoping it'll be a quick process as time is very much against us to get in in time for nhs ivf.

And thanks @BambiOnIce80 - I thought it looked good too. According to the price list it's about £800 but to be honest I'd be willing to pay that to get the absolute best chance.

@Weathergirl1 I absolutely despise the way we don't get clear unbiased info backed up with facts. I rely on facts and evidence to make decisions and pregnancy seems to be one of the areas that they either deliberately don't make it clear, or through some attempt not to "scare" women don't make it easy to find. Makes me very very

Semen preparatory! Not the way I had hoped (no dtd) but that’s a grey area for us at the moment.... which had better be sorted by FW!

So tonight I cannot wait to Get those Jim jams on take my backside to bed and just netflix and chill!

Hope all of you are doing great. Friday tomorrow 👍

Rant away @Weathergirl1! It's what we're here for! 😂 Glad everything's ticking along and hope your tummy calms down soon 🤞🏻 I'm pretty comfortable with the booking tests (I do some of them! 🤓), but I hear you that the info to the patient isn't exactly crystal clear. The midwives are supposed to make sure you get all the answers you need, but some are better than others 😏

Glad you're all systems go for Saturday @Carley32 🎈 👍 I will be joining you with the jim-jams/onesie this evening, possibly accompanied by the great British menu, a burrito (can't be arsed to cook and they're delicious 🌯 😋) and a tub of Ben and Jerry's 🤔😉

Hi everyone, just a quick update. I'm so tired, been at work this afternoon which was ok, didn't get anything done. Going to take a while to settle back in.

Had my gyne appointment today. The appointment was OK. She didn't think the bicornuate/ heart shape was an issue and said sometimes fibroids can make it look like the shape is different. She also didn't see a need to do anything about them as surgery carries risks and none are that big that they'd cause a problem. She said the bonus was we'd conceived and it had implanted in the right place. She said the reason for the miscarriage was not related to the fibroids (my first scan it was suggested it was them squashing the sac).

Had to have an internal too. Apparently my uterus isn't too bulky 🙄 so that's good news! Internal scans are much more pleasant that internal investigations!

She's said we can try again as soon as we're ready and did say that you're more fertile after a miscarriage. She also said my as my uterus is retroverted I could lie on my front (as opposed to legs in the air after sex). She also suggested we book a holiday. I've been discharged now.

She did say that we should keep our fertility clinic appointment and didn't believe they'd discharge us. So we will go to that and see what they say. It's early May.

I'll check back in properly soon. Hope everyone is OK. Thanks again for your kind messages and support xx 💜

@BambiOnIce80 oh no, I don't mean the blood tests at booking (I've not declined those as I felt it wasn't worth the questions being asked as to why I wasn't being compliant), though I'm 100% sure I don't have HIV, Syphillis or Hep B) I mean the screening they offer at the 12 week scan!

@VenusStarr rest up lady, you've been through a lot this past few weeks 💐

Sounds perfect @BambiOnIce80 😂. Well the ice cream sounded like a good idea. Had I not fallen asleep by 8.30 I probably would have joined you lol.

Take it easy @VenusStarr xxx

A holiday sounds like a tremendous suggestion @VenusStarr.x

Ah, I see @Weathergirl1 👍 Is that the nuchal bump kind of stuff?

I didn't make it to the ice cream either @Carley32 - we were both falling asleep by 9pm!😴 Totally knackered! TFI Friday! 🎉😄🎉😄

A holiday sounds like it would do a world of good @VenusStarr are you going to book something?

Happy Friday all!

DH and I have decided to spend the next month being totally healthy in order to try to get the swimmers in better nick. Hopefully our consultant will call us today but if not we have nurse appointment on Monday. We’ve also come to the conclusion we weren’t sufficiently committed to all this previously. If it means delaying things for a couple of months that’s nothing in the grand scheme of things,

Posted too soon. Meant to add that as my test results were in the normal range I think we can afford to wait a bit... and spend this time trying to decide if it’s what we really want!

Hi all, not been on the boards much recently as my head has been other places than TTC. Not tried at all this month, and I can feel AF looming. Sorry there is so much stress and anxiety on this board! Late thirties TTC is a mental minefield.

I've not heard anything back from my NHS referral - and it's a couple of months since gynae sent it on. I'm one month away from missing the deadline (39 years and 7 months is the cut off for my CCG) so I don't think I'll be getting any NHS IVF. For what it's worth, those of you weighing up going private, my experience of the clinic my friend recommended me to go to was very good for my fertility checkup, I trusted the doctor and he didn't try to sell me anything (if anyone needs a recommendation in the NW let me know), and my younger sister has had a great experience with her clinic in central london (I can also send details via DM so as not to out her at all if anyone needs it). She hasn't got where she wants to yet with it but I'm confident they are doing their best by her and they haven't been upselling her desperate measures either.

With my friends cancer and various other health things going on amongst friends and relatives I'm feeling like I don't want a child at this age as I'm worrying about health risks for me and the baby. I'm in two minds whether to continue trying at all right now. Also it seems all my friends trying at this age are having miscarriage after miscarriage if they can get pregnant at all. I don't want to bring the thread down even further, but it seems to me like I have left it too late. Maybe if you have low egg reserve, and you have the cash for IVF, and you can get a recommendation for a good clinic, to just go for it and not hang about, and at least get some eggs frozen so you have options.

@Quantumgirl glad you had a great holiday in Brazil! I'm weighing up Japan for my 40th, although OH is griping a bit about the cost. Runner up is Morocco - I've never been there either and fancy doing a city and Atlas mountain break. That essential oil sounds good!

@VenusStarr - sorry things didn't work out for you. That second pregnancy sounded too good to be true. Hopefully you get a fertility boost after this and have the strength to go again. A holiday sounds like a good idea.

Glad things are getting back on track in the bedroom @BambiOnIce80.

@bambionice80 yep that's the ones. Incidentally, I got the Harmony stuff through the post this morning and that does have the false positive information on it (and the false positive information for the combined screening test too albeit not broken down by age as it is in the book).

Hope you're doing ok @VenusStarr x

Missed you @79andnotout, but understand completely why you need a break - all that sounds like a hell of a lot to deal with 😔 I hope the break gives you some clarity and please get in touch when you decide what you want to do.x

Hey lovelies. Hope your weekends are going well.

@Carley32 how did your appointment/SA go yesterday?

@VenusStarr definitely keep the fertility appointment, I thought (as did my gp) the fact we'd conceived meant we weren't eligible for nhs treatment but apparently that's not the case in our area (badly worded policy!) so even though I've been pregnant twice we are eligible. Before I found that out I did feel like i was being "punished" for losing my babies by the system.

@beverlymarsh if you have time (which it sounds like you do!) I'd take it too. Good to try and get as healthy as possible.

@79andnotout hugs. Time is just cruel. In terms of your referral -that seems a long wait, worth chasing it up? Even if you miss the cut off for treatment they may still be able to help with investigations to help you make a decision on the future (and if they have been slow with referrals etc there's an argument to say that's their error so should your personal deadline be extended?) I'm a few months older than you so can appreciate the have we left it too late question. Xx

As for me AF arrived on Friday -as expected a very short cycle of 21 days. Luteal phase static at 12/13 days though. Looks like AF is following the same short pattern. Medium flow fri, yesterday heavier, and pretty crampy/rough generally, this morning not much at all! Got my second acupuncture at 9.30 not sure it's doing anything and still feeling scared of the needles but forcing myself to go.

Bit annoyed by my private consultants secretary! Saw him tues night and he said I'd get a letter with blood forms etc and what to do next, and I assumed it would be ASAP as he was very clear time is against us both for our chances and to get treatment started by my birthday in July.

Have to have a blood test tomorrow anyway (day "3" hormone check -which will be day 4 as not open today!) so I thought I could just be jabbed once...but no sign of any letter/forms so I rang the secretary and she said they hadn't been sent yet! And would prob not go in the post till Monday so I'm going to have to have more bloomin' needles. I know I have to get used to them if we're doing ivf but It's frustrating! I'm going to need shares in ametop gel at this rate.

Did manage to speak to the sperm test nurse for OH...his gp was a bit clueless. As we live so close to the centre he'll be allowed to do his sample at home. She's also going to try and get him an appt a bit sooner than the standard three weeks. Although I'm in a bit of a quandary...she's likely to get the referal docs this week, so potentially if there's a slot he could have his test week after next...but that's due to be fertile week so I don't really want us to miss that chance as he'll have to abstain! So I'm kinda hoping she won't have an appt till the start of may. Is that mad? If she offers one during fertile week should we bite the bullet and go for it? Just kinda desperate to try naturally just in case we can do it again and it works out.

But then part of me says the ivf seems to offer us better chances of a good embryo...

Arghhh I'm all sixes and sevens! Brain can't compute. 'Puter says NOoooooo...

I’m sorry you’ve not felt great @79andnotout and completely understand you needing a break. Take some you time. I hope it helps xxx

Sounds like a positive plan @beverlymarsh.

Hi @Laney79. Well it doesn’t sound that your any the wiser... communication can be so frustrating when it’s just so poor. I guess it’s good you have things moving but just a pain in the arse that you can’t get any sense out of anyone 🙈.
Sorry about af. Ovulating around those days should be fine though shouldn’t it? I’m so clueless with it all, I can’t be much help to anyone.
I went through the same when booking my appointment, I tried to avoid af week then fw so it kept dragging out (as I obviously can’t plan when those times are) but inbit the bullet and it worked out well in the end. The doctor I spoke to said sperm can most definitely last up to 6days, so if you app is in fw just bang one out 2.5 days before the SA then a day or 2 after 👍😁. Hope your staying positive xx

My appointment.... firstly The whole experience was very warm, welcoming and not at all rushed or stressful. SA came back in perfect nic, In fact it seems that DP has super sperm (i hope this will give him some bloody confidence).
I had my internal, it wasn’t as unpleasant as I was expecting. He didn’t find anything of concern while roaming around my uterus, although it seemed to take him a while to find my right ovary, but when he did find it and was poking around there seemed to explain the weird pain Iv been having in my side, because I felt it starting to niggle during the exam, not sure what it means, he didn’t have much to say about it.
He did on the other hand say that there was a nice juicy follicle there, is this a good sign?
So no worries with the SA or the internal.
He didn’t seem worried that my periods were light but did seem a little concerned that they vary between 31 and 40 days. He wondered if I was ovulating regularly. He was annoyed that my doctor wouldn’t give me my bloods and he is writing to her to ask for them. He is also writing to her to advise that I have more bloods done throughout my cycle.

Other than that he did say that the pill is a bit of a body 🤬 and it can in fact take 12 or more months for it to get going properly again. He is writing the letters to gp, but suggested that in the meantime I just relax and carry on ttc. He said to go back for a review in 4-6 months (this was also included in the price) to see where to go next. But hopefully by then my cycles will regain a little normality.

I’m feeling ok about it. Good I guess but still concerned over the cycle length. But at least someone has listened and taken the time to explain different scenarios to me. Which helped me prepare for next steps if necessary.
He didn’t try and sell me anything at all, in fact he said that i can go back and forth and jump on the nhs train at anytime.

Good morning ladies 🌞 I hope everyone had a lovely weekend?

Agree with @Carley32 @Laney79 - your DP only needs to abstain for a max of 2 or 3 days, so could hopefully arrange it around FW? That's annoying about your blood request forms 😕 You expect a pretty much flawless service when you're paying for it - that's why you're paying for it!

Soooo pleased to hear you had a good experience at your appointment @Carley32 😊 I was thinking about you on Saturday and sending positive vibes 💕 Hopefully the super sperm test result will indeed boost your DP's confidence! 😉 I'd imagine a big juicy follicle on your scan might mean that you're heading towards FW - what CD are you now?

Not much to report at my end, except I ov'd a bit early for me and FW is over already 😏 Ov'd CD14 instead of my usual CD16/17, so only had time to get the one shot in the bank 🙄 It was CD12 though, so I guess we're technically in with a chance... Although we hadn't DTD for more than 7 days before that, so if DP hasn't been indulging in some self-servicing (😳) then I think it's going to be a pretty poor quality shot 😕

Got quite annoyed when I realised I'd ov'd early and we'd run out of time to get some more tries in, but then I thought "what's the point? History tells me I can't get pregnant naturally anyway, so why am I stressing over this?" 🤷‍♀️ Decided I need to chill the 🤬 out, get my body back in shape (went out for my first 5k run in about 5 weeks yesterday) and focus on giving us the best chance at IVF. Private open evening is tomorrow, so feel like I'm being proactive with my fact finding and things will hopefully start falling into place over the next couple of months🤞🏻There really is no point putting all this pressure on us both - think we just need to pay to put our TTC hopes in the hands of the experts and see what happens 🔮

Morning @BambiOnIce80 hope you had a good weekend.

Yea i feel good about. Trying not to let the concerning hiccup get to me just yet. I’m CD13 fw was around CD20 last month. So 🤞 for more average length cycle. Not get getting my hopes up though. No cf at all just yet 🙄.

Maybe ov early was meant to be for that 1 time 🤞. Your in with a chance. But I understand how much pressure it all is. So maybe just go with the flow for a bit 🙈😂 easier said I guess.... I’m like a women possessed around this time of my cycle 😳.

Well I don’t know if this will make anyone feel better but, my sister in law had unexplained fertility troubles so she had IVF, it took up until the 3rd round for her healthy baby girl to be born who is now 10 months old. Sis in law is now 10 weeks pregnant from a natural conception. Maybe taking your mind of it really does help 🤷‍♀️

Happy Monday ladies x