35+ TTC#1 Thread 6

[BambiOnIce80]

Spring is in the air and it's time for a new thread!

Basically: a wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the TTC journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Here's hoping we get some spring BFP luck for all of us!! 🍀🐣🍀🐣

What difficult decisions to make for you both about stopping TTC but you can only know what is right for you and your body and life.
I'm very realistic that it's highly doubtful I'm pregnant my DP is a bit more optimistic than me.
I was lucky last time I came off pill that my cycles started up after 28 days and then every 28 days there after. That was a couple of years ago though so might take longer this time.

@QuantumGirl and @79andnotout Your messages really resonated with me as I feel like i’m still stuck at the crossroads of being caught between imagining life with a child and life without. It’s really messing with my head. I feel in limbo and really hope I can reach a state of peace and calm whatever happens 💕

I had my AMH results back today and it is 7.6 which the nurse said is classed as low (I’m not really sure what normal is though) and I have 9 follicles in total. They’re recommending I take extra supplements including DHEA and melatonin as well as the ubiquinol. She thought it might be better to postpone Ivf for another month to give the supplements time to work, but it’s up to me what I decide to do. I genuinely have no idea. I will speak to DH when he gets in later, but i’m not sure what to do for the best. On the one hand, do I just go for it now while i’m relaxed and it’s the summer - it would just mean hospital appointments in the 2 weeks back at work. I haven’t told anyone at work yet though! Or, do I plan better, take the supplements, try to lose some weight and go for it a month or two later when I probably won’t be as relaxed, but can let work know? Help!

@PixieN

@QuantumGirl and @79andnotout Your messages really resonated with me as I feel like i’m still stuck at the crossroads of being caught between imagining life with a child and life without. It’s really messing with my head. I feel in limbo and really hope I can reach a state of peace and calm whatever happens

Absolutely this too ❤️ I've been pretty quiet whilst I'm mulling over the whole kit and caboodle. The experiences that @QuantumGirl and @79andnotout have so kindly shared have really got me thinking... I just don't know what I want to do 😔

I think if I were in your position, I'd go for the go for it now whilst you're relaxed option. In my head, you could take the recommended supplements, hang on for a couple of months (and plunge yourself into work logistical stress 😣) and it make not one jot of difference to your egg quality! There's research to show that a relaxed/happy cycle has better outcomes than non-relaxed/happy ones 🤞🏻 Ultimately, what does your gut say?x

Hey all. Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine. The sun makes me feel more in the mood for DTD but it's very hot here today! Think AF is on its way my boobs are so achey and had really bad cramps today. 4 weeks since I stopped the pill so see what happens.
Anyone else got news or symptoms etc

Hi everyone, sorry for the radio silence, been busy doing smep, it's not for the faint hearted. On paper it doesn't seem loads but it's the scheduled sex that's off putting. I'm not sure it's going to work anyway, I ovulated a day early, so have today left to dtd but I know my egg is probably done now. I'm measuring bbt so can pinpoint when I did, hoping we've done enough 🤞

@QuantumGirl sounds like you've had a difficult time but I'm pleased you've reached a point you feel happy with. I don't know if you're on Instagram but there is a profile called Defining Mum, she's very open about using donor eggs and her own experience.

@wannabemum38 any sign of af? Are you ttc while you're waiting?

Sorry you've had a tough time @79andnotout but sounds like you're making the right decision for you and that you're at peace with it 💕

@PixieN it's a tough decision. As much as I'd want to get started, I'd probably wait but you've got to decide what's best for you

How are you @BambiOnIce80? How's your little kitten?

Hope everyone else is OK xx

@VenusStarr - nice work on the SMEP. Sounds like you've done enough to me.

I'd probably go with starting sooner @PixieN, just because it's less hassle and stress, and one month of supplements probably wont make a huge amount of difference. Whereas being stressed can make the whole experience much harder.

@BambiOnIce80 - you'll know what's best when the time comes round. I was thinking of having some counselling to deal with my situation, but actually, I feel fine, and not like I need it. Currently mulling over what to do with the next twenty years of my life. I want a career change and this is a great opportunity. One door closes, and another one opens!

@VenusStarr We decided to try whilst waiting. No sign of AF yet though. Meant to be going out on a day trip this week with niece and nephew no doubt it will arrive then as it always does when got something to do!

Well done @VenusStarr for being able to stick to SMEP this cycle - I am in awe of you! ❤️ Keeping everything crossed for you that it does the trick for this cycle 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻 And my little kit is very well, thank you for asking 🐈😊 He's put on nearly a kg in 4 weeks, so I don't think he'll be staying little for much longer! 😄

I know you're right @79andnotout ❤️ It became very clear to me after your and Quantum's updates that DP and I have a fully fledged plan of what we'll be doing if IVF doesn't work... but no plan whatsoever if it does! 😳 This realisation massively freaked me out because I'm totally comfortable with our "no kids plan", but we wouldn't be able to manage it with a bambino! Cue me manically googling house prices for a move to the sticks and now not feeling quite so panicked if the IVF were to work 😪 But it has re-raised the question of "do we really want to go through with this?". As you say, time will tell.x

So ladies. I've realised that the message count for this thread is about to max out again. I'd be very, very grateful if someone else would take the thread forward, please 🙏 I'm not posting so much with the situation that I'm in and was half thinking about starting a "35+ Starting Investigations/IVF" thread on the infertility board... just think it's more where I'm at and I don't want to drag this lovely thread down with all my infertility stuff. If I do go for the latter thread, I hope it's OK to tag those of you that are in similar boats to me? If only to keep in touch rather than daily posts, if you see what I mean?! 😉

Anyway, I'd appreciate your thoughts and wish the 35+ TTCers all the best of luck for your journeys.xx

@BambiOnIce80 good idea. I'm scaling back my activity but will pop onto your new thread on the infertility board if I have anything useful to add!

@BambiOnIce80 I'm on a thread in infertility with some others who are all having tests / iui / ivf / clomid etc, if you wanted to join us there? It's called 'Starting the journey thread 2' might be easier than starting a new one?

Anyone else on here is welcome to hop on there 😊

Just hopping on to let you know my news...
OH (of 17 years) only went & proposed at the weekend!! Totally gobsmacked! Of course I said yes! Utterly stunned.
@bambionice80 hope you're doing ok,sounds like such a mixed time, you aren't bringing this thread down, you've been quite the opposite, a gel that kept us together, but I accept it must be difficult. Sending love x I'm not quite at the ivf/Clomid stage yet,but hope you don't stray too far from this group xxx

Eek!! Congratulations @CNizzle!!🎉🎉🎉 How exciting!! 😍 Did he propose with a ring or are you going to pick one? Would love to see a picture. Brilliant news. I loved planning our wedding. Would love to marry dh all over again, it was such a wonderful day :)

Massive congratulations @CNizzle!! 🎉 😍 🎉 😍 I second what @VenusStarr says - if there's a ring then a picture would be awesome!!xx

Wow @CNizzle 💓 Congratulations 🍾 🎉 Lovely news!

Thanks for your input ladies. I think we’re just going to go for it this time and see what happens... I went to see a friend and her new baby recently and he’s just so lovely - made me feel really broody again lol 💕

This thread has been an absolute lifeline @BambiOnIce80 for so many of us. You really have held it all together. I would be so sorry to lose it. It also sounds daft, but i’m feeling cautious of the infertility threads (although I know I probably belong there!) and accepting the infertility label. I like that our chat is quite broad too and not just TTC focussed. It seems a shame to find so many likeminded people and disband x

Should I start a new one for us? Would people still be interested even though some of us are heading in different directions? Would just need to work out how to do it and tag everyone....

Hope i’m not being too selfish and insensitive - completely understand if there’s a feeling that the thread has reached a natural end point. I’m a bugger for hanging on

I'm happy to still have thread running @PixieN. It's nice to keep in touch and have some general chat, along with cat / furry baby pics and hopefully engagement rings @CNizzle 😉 and house renovation updates @79andnotout, plus anything else

Ha great news @CNizzle - congratulations!! Any idea what prompted that? 17 years is a long time!

I'm happy to still tag along in whatever threads are going. Otherwise I'd have to do some work :)

Oh and @CNizzle - you weren't at Bluedot festival when he proposed, were you? I just remembered (I think) that you have been a couple of times. We were there too. Getting down on one knee in all that mud would've been unpleasant!

Thanks so much for all the feedback ladies ❤️ I absolutely don't want to disband our little group - I've 'known' you all so long now that I'm totally invested in how you all get on! 😍 I guess I just feel like I'm not doing very well at gelling us lately because I'm stuck going nowhere until the end of September (and the kitten is a massively welcome distraction from TTC stress😄). I'll stick with you guys, but I'd still appreciate someone taking over the OP (thank you so much @PixieN 😘).

Thanks for the heads-up about your thread on the infertility board @VenusStarr 💐 It looks like you guys aren't far off of maxing out your thread as well, so I might lurk a bit and maybe join you too when you start a new thread.x

Congrats @CNizzle!

It sounds like some of you have made some really hard decisions lately (and some are still working through them). Just wanted to send my love and support to you all. What a wonderful group of kind and clever ladies!

Congratulations and please keep thread going. I'm only a newbie but as no one knows we are TTC this is going to prove invaluable!

Just created a new thread for us x

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3646733-35-TTC-1-Thread-7?watched=1