35+ TTC#1 Thread 6

[BambiOnIce80]

Spring is in the air and it's time for a new thread!

Basically: a wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the TTC journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Here's hoping we get some spring BFP luck for all of us!! 🍀🐣🍀🐣

Hey ladies thanks for all the welcomes @venusstarr @bambionice80 @pixien @carley32 😘

*I have read most of the thread so understand a little about everyone’s journeys (you’re all so strong and inspiring) and hopefully have got all the abbreviations down now too :)

@venusstarr congrats on the house renovations, like @carley32, I am moving onto the garden soon too, hopefully in time for summer. 🌱✨

This weekend I have been on a mini break with OH, cunningly timed around my OV. We DTD twice! Which is a lot for us. My partner has high functioning autism and has a stressful job working long hours, so it takes leaving the city for us to have a normal sex life! Wahhh.

I have been ttc for #1 since October but have been thinking about it all more scientifically since January but still nada... as I said, I think the issue is the lack of DTD but also potentially my hormones. I am 36 now and I have been pregnant before; twice within last 5 years - both complete accidents outside of a stable relationship which ended in medical terminations 😢 and my partner has also conceived with his ex partner in the past.

I really want to go for it over next few months, so am I looking for any advice or tips you guys might have...

I have been making quite a lot of lifestyle changes - including reducing my working hours - to give myself the best chance of conceiving, because I have accepted it won’t be by having loads and loads of sex! I have been focused on health over last few months and things have improved, and feeling better in myself. I am a little overweight (not by much) but have lost some recently. My cycle is regular, 28-29 days, and periods last 4-5 days, and ovulate on day 16/17 (which I understand is a little late). I don’t smoke, or take recreational/OTC/prescription drugs (however used to be a massive party animal!), I’ve cut out chemicals in the house and am drinking a lot less alcohol and caffeine, have gone veggie (mostly) and given up dairy on recommendation due to the hormones it contains. I have been following an oestrogen reducing diet (when I am good!) and been trying out intermittent fasting which I heard is good for fertility. I recently did a detox for my liver (thought it could use a break after years of over doing it and as I understand is responsible for processes oestrogen to make way for progesterone) through a juice cleanse and supplements such as DIM, milk thistle and dandelion. I’ve also gotten really into spin classes and meditation which is helping with stress and mood a lot. I’ve also upped the amount of supplements - CoQ10, agnus castus (which I’m hoping might balance quite a short luteal phase), strong omega oils, have done the Symprove plan and have been taking Terra Nova Prenatal for a year now. I’ve also tried fertility acupuncture (which resulted in a longer, heavier but really easy period) and even had a womb blessing (that’s another story...)!

Also have been tracking cycle and temperature for over a year now, and have recently got into the ovulation testing kits... basically the more precisely I can know when my ovulation will take place the better I can plan ahead to have a romantic evening to get OH in the mood 😈

From this thread I’ve learnt about EWCM so thank you, although I don’t think mine is following the right pattern 😑 I am guessing the lubricant Pre-Seed acts in the absence of EWCM to give the swimmers more of a chance? Any experience of this, do you pop it in a little before I am guessing?

I think I will also get OH these Wellman Conception supplements, and someone else on another thread recommended Royal Jelly and Ubiquitol (which I think is like CoQ10) so not sure if anyone has any thoughts on those? Is there any other supplements that might help? I’m willing to try anything!

I guess I am also thinking that it might be soon time to seek some professional help if nothing happens naturally over next couple of months. But I am really scared of doctors generally 😫 (and avoid any pharmaceutical or medicines generally) so am going to struggle I think. What would the first step be? I am guessing sperm analysis for him and some kind of scan for me? He’s looked at a private clinic which is £500, but maybe this stuff is available on the NHS?

I do have a feeling that my hormones aren’t quite right 😖 I suffered quite badly with unwanted facial hair in the past and always feel bloated. Hence all the oestrogen reducing activities.

Sorry for the long rant! I wanted to get it all out there. I know everyone’s got their own stuff. It’s just so hard to relate to my mates right now who have either done the whole baby thing already or are still partying! A lot of them just say ‘why don’t you have a lot of sex around ovulation’ haha (tbh I have a low libido as well). Sometimes I feel quite isolated and alone especially as OH is HFA, he’s lovely and I can talk to him about anything but not the most instinctively clued up on emotions lol

Wishing you all a lovely week x x

Morning ladies. Quick update on the acupuncture...as most of you know I have a pretty extreme medical/needle phobia so paying someone to stick needles in me (and not for a test) is something I never thought I'd do...

I was very nervous as you’d expect but I managed to go through with the whole treatment. Some of the needles I didn’t feel, some I did but it was just a little uncomfortable but a couple did hurt and made me grimace/shout ow!

I can’t say I enjoyed it, certainly not in the way I enjoy my reflexology sessions but I suspect a lot of that is to do with my fear of the needles and everything else that’s going on. It hasn’t put me off, so I will try again but as I said it’s not easy for me-but it’s worth a try if it might help so I’ll persevere.

@Headswim welcome, sounds like you're doing all you can there-and again I hear you on the libido side-we struggle too but I reckon it's age and stress with us (40 this year!)

@PixieN sorry about AF - I get night sweats usually first night or two of AF.

@Carley32 fingers crossed for your appt. I too wish I knew what was normal AF wise! It's so very different to when I was on the pill! I get 36 hours of heavy bleeding then spotting for another 48..and gone. TMI but Barely need to use pads either as I lose it all when I go to the loo. V odd.

@PixieN I used to get epic night sweats when I took clomid and when I had the mirena coil in. Still get them now about 3 days before AF, but nowhere near as severely.

Oooh, things are getting moving then @Carley32 🙂 I guess the GP might have meant that you're entitled to the same investigations on the NHS, but you'd have to wait a bit longer for them 🤔 No point hanging about when you want answers and that private consult is quite reasonably priced 👍

Good work on the tactical timing of the mini break @Headswim 😎 Sounds like you've got all your bases covered too 👍 I take the CoQ10 too and my understanding is that the ubiquinol is just a more 'bioavailable' form of it (and therefore more expensive 😏). The natural fertility clinic I went to the other week said that they'd recommend taking a general conception support vit, the CoQ10, a fish oil and extra vit D, all of which should preferably be non-synthetic and 'food state'... not entirely sure that this advice isn't just a manoeuvre to get us all to pay through the nose for vits that can be bought quite cheaply, but then again maybe I'm just a bit jaded! 🙄

How'd you get on with the acupuncture @Laney79?x

Cross-posted @Laney79! 😄 Glad it wasn't too much of an ordeal.x

@BambiOnIce80 that's good to know. I am hoping that the sun will come out soon to give us some vitamin D ✨✨

I heard the same about 'bioavailability' - Terra Nova are good because all vits are essentially freeze dried plants. They are the only supplements where I noticed a difference. I also take their Life powder in a drink now and again.

I think I'll keep going with my current CoQ10 until it runs out then maybe get Ubiquinol. I was also recommended Nordic Naturals (available on Amazon) for a strong fish oil.

@Laney79 Well done for sticking with the acupuncture. I had it too - about two months ago - and it's definitely not fun! I thought it would be more relaxing. I had a really heavier and longer period right after with very little PMS symptoms so would be interested to know if you experience the same.

@BambiOnIce80 can I pick your science brain?

Receptionist at GP has just given me my progesterone "day 21" result - it's "equivocal for ovulation" at 29.4. Any idea what that means? Have I ovulated???

I'm not sure what the reference range will be at your lab @Laney79, but at mine they say a day 21 progesterone of >30 indicates ovulation. I guess you could have ovulated later that cycle and your progesterone was only on the rise on day 21? 🤔 What was your temp chart looking like for that cycle? Might be worth correlating the data to try and get a clearer picture. Am I right in thinking you've had your day 21 progesterone before? Was it OK that time? If so, could be your cycle being a bit out of whack after all you've been through. Hope your doc is going to talk you through what they reckon to this latest result.x

@Laney79 that sounds like ovulation happened, to me. When I had that test done my result was 18, and a scan confirmed I had indeed ovulated. My GP said to me that other than around ov time, progesterone levels should be very low (I think she said less than 2 but can’t quite remember), and that an increase in levels can only be attributed to ovulation. I wasn’t quite convinced of that explanation (as there can be failed attempts at ov) but in any case, I had ovulated and my figure was only 18. Not saying it would 100% be the same in your case but 29.4 is so close to the magical score of 30 that I would think that would be a confirmed ovulation.

@Laney79 glad you managed ok with the acupuncture. It’s all a step forward 😊.
On the af front... it’s hard to judge isn’t it. I am very similar, until the cycle before my last I literally just spotted for 2 days. But the last 2 cycles Iv had a little spotting and then losing a chunk when using the loo (tmi) sorry! It lasted for a day and a half then just brown spotting... the end! Strange and annoying, but more than previously so feeling good about it lol.

@BambiOnIce80 well she just said she wouldn’t bother because my bloods were all fine, so I’d be better off booking straight with gynae (which she’d write a letter for at a charge) 🤔.

Thanks @BambiOnIce80 and @beverlymarsh -I've not had day 21 progesterone done before...but it was actually done on day 14 as I had a positive ovulation test on day 6...so I assumed ov on day 7...so maybe I should've left it another day. I only started temping this month, and only on day 11 so that doesn't help sadly. My other symptoms (Cm etc) seemed to chime with ov around cd7. Got my private consultation tomorrow so hopefully I'll get an answer.

@Headswim will let you know about AF after acupuncture...will be interesting to see.

@Carley32 it's a real mind f**k isn't it. I never thought I'd be complaining/concerned about short periods!

Got back from my GP appointment this evening and OMG, I think I will explode! 💥
Firstly I was told I need to be referred to a gynaecologist as my AMH is low and it might be an early menopause (I didn't mention the private consultation I had in Brazil which confirmed I am not menopausal despite my mood swings- I was born grumpy like this) then I suggested I could be referred to a private gynaecologist as the nhs queue must be long. I was then made aware that the private health care might not cover fertility. Either way I asked if I could be referred to both clinics as if the private one doesn't work at least I'm on the nhs. The reply I had is that my GP has to write referrals on their spare time and therefore it isn't fair to ask for two referrals 🤨😠. I then asked to be referred to the private dr on the basis that I have an early menopause and will only mention fertility once I'm there.

I'm so sick and tired of being pushed around. I also asked for a copy of my results which was denied but will be attached to the referrals letter so I hope to see it in the next few days. Really losing hope. I think if I want things to move on my only chance seems to be private ivf as I don't see any other way I can be treated before the end of this year 😥. Rant over.

Bloody hell @QuantumGirl, I'd be absolutely raging too! 😡 They cannot deny you your results - they are your results FFS! And when did a low AMH result turn up? Did they just drop that into conversation?! And that has to be total 🐂💩 that they can only write you one referral because they do it in their spare time - referrals are an essential part of their role, so no way can it be an 'overtime' task!! I know it's a stretched service, but seriously?! 🤯 I'm furious on your behalf 😤

And your GP was wanting to charge you for an NHS referral as well @Carley32?! 😲 What the hell is going on with these GP's?! I think you're doing the right thing. You'll get your answers and hopefully some peace of mind much sooner by this route, by the sound of things 👍

Wishing you luck for your consultation @Laney79 and that it gives you some answers 🍀

I'm as angry as @BambiOnIce80 is on your behalf @QuantumGirl - they can't refuse you your test results, even if they won't print them you should be able to take a picture or write them down-and ditto the referral. My partner works in the nhs (not a dr but he does have to refer patients) and it's absolutely part of the core job. It's also not as if gp's sit there with a quill and ink-most dictate them for a secretary to type!! I'd be complaining to the practice manager if I were you.

And @Carley32 I've had several referrals done-both nhs and private and not had to pay.

Makes my blood boil. This is hard enough for us as it is! They are meant to be there to help.

What do you think to this? Tested positive on a frer yesterday, definite pink line. This one is Sainsbury’s. Don't know if you can see but it's like a faded blue to the left and white to the right? Fmu.

I had a chemical in feb so I'm panicking about that again 😩😕

Looks like there's something there to me @pitterpatterbaby - congratulations! 😊

Thank you @BambiOnIce80 but I'm beside myself. I thought I'd get a much better line with fmu. Just don't want to get my hopes up again. Now the test has dried a bit it looks like this....

Thank you for the support @BambiOnIce80 and @Laney79 I thought I was being a princess for wanting 2 referrals 👸📤📤

Congratulations @pitterpatterbaby 😊

Congratulations @pitterpatterbaby !

I am just back from my follow up appointment with the ivf people. All the test results were fine and apparently we can go ahead as of cd14, which basically is Monday. So I am freaking out big time, I feel like I need more time to decide if I even wanna do it at all! Ended up bursting into tears after the appointment which I was not expecting! Argh. Also I drank loads this weekend and although that probably makes zero difference in the grand scheme of things, I feel like I need another month to eat more healthily, not drink, etc...... Dunno 🤷🏻‍♀️

Congratulations @pitterpatterbaby

@QuantumGirl they tried that one with me too... I went to the GP practice to pick up the results. Next thing, GP called me and told me the infertility clinic they'd referred me to had my AMH and FSH results but wouldn't give them to either me or the GP until I went in for a consultation with the fertility specialist. I then rang the infertility clinic at the hospital and was told the same thing by a woman. I was in a panic... tears... rang up every organisation I could think of about complaining. Everyone I spoke to said they did not understand why the results were being withheld. A couple of hours later, I thought about calling the manager of the person who'd refused to send the results (I'd gotten her manager's name from her) and asked if it was within their right to refuse my result. The manager was concerned and said I had absolutely a right to the results. I went to the GP a few minutes later, the manager from the infertility clinic called and verified I was there and then sent the GP my results who then emailed them to me. So in the morning they told me I couldn't have the results. And by afternoon I received them by email!

Just catching up with the thread. Honestly, it makes me sad that on top of the challenge of ttc and all that entails, we have to navigate through a rubbish system that appears to make up its own rules as it goes along! 😔 Can't believe the GP said she'd charge you for a gyne referral @Carley32 that doesn't seem right at all.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time too @QuantumGirl, when the scan showed fibroids for me the GP was unsure if I needed gyne first or just to send me to the fertility clinic, so he checked it out first and they said straight to fertility clinic. Turns out I will need gyne now, got that appt Thursday morning. Also, when my results were back I asked reception for a print out and they did it no question, sorry if I missed if you've already tried that? They can't withhold your results. What's your next step?

How are you @Laney79?

Is your ivf nhs or private @beverlymarsh, I can imagine it's scary to have a date. Wishing you the best of luck.

Update from me, had a pretty bad weekend, uncontrollable crying most of Sunday and Monday. Burst into tears in asda, I really feel for dh because all he can do is hug me until I stop. I think it's my hormones coming back down again. I'm 98% sure it's over but still holding on to hope that tomorrow might still reveal a miracle. Dh has got the day off so regardless of what happens I won't be on my own. We're off to the cinema after 😊 got my gyne appt Thursday morning and then I'll be back at work. Had a month off and I've pretty much cried every day and eaten. A lot. Feeling pretty low with my weight gain but once tomorrow is out of the way I'm hoping I can try and focus on picking myself back up. It's our first wedding anniversary this weekend, we had hoped to go away but with all the uncertainty over what's going on we didn't want to book anything. Think we're going to save for a mini break in Spain. Sorry, this is an epic post. Hope everyone is OK xx

I get you @beverlymarsh - think I'd most likely react in the same way 😢 I'm not 100% sold on the idea a lot of the time and the stage you're at makes things get very real indeed 🤯 What does your DP make of it all?

Sending lots and lots of remote love to you and your DH @VenusStarr 💙 I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.x

CD11 here and at the start-ish of FW. Had some EWCM and feeling quite bloated, so suspect the run up to ov is afoot... can't really be arsed though, to be honest! 🙄 With all the IVF research going on and the clinic open evening next week, I kind of feel like the whole end-game plan is in hand so the pressure is off a bit for BDing - probably not the right positive mental attitude to have, but it's how it is 😏 Might just sit back, relax and see if DP can be arsed to initiate 🤔

I know that feeling @Laney79.

I know she made it all very confusing @VenusStarr @BambiOnIce80 the charge was for a referral letter to go private so I’d have to pay £30 for a letter before paying private. It confused me a little. But i’ll Try this on Saturday and go from there.

Although I am doubting myself and because i have such weird periods, wondering if it would have just been better to go straight to a private gynae!? I guess we get a semen analysis out of it though.

That is disgusting @QuantumGirl I am raging for you. It’s a hard enough journey as it is! Hope you are ok 💐

Hope your ok @VenusStarr 💕 xxx

Congratulations @pitterpatterbaby xxx

I known that feeling @Bambi I don’t know if I can handle anymore rejection (well in my head kind of rejection) or awkward feeling. Mind you I’m only CD5 so probably have another month before FW lol.
But you never know maybe DP will surprise you!

Hey all, just catching up.
@pitterpatterbaby congratulations!! This has been a very lucky thread recently!
@beverlymarsh I know what you mean about it being a bit too fast. Unfortunately I'm never gonna get fasttracked cos my bmi is still way too high (33), next appt at ACS is in may. Desperately trying to lose a stone (Or two!!) To get it lower. Although I don't seen to be making much headway despite 3 spin classes & 2 kettlebells classes a week. Plus the gym instructor checking my myfitnespal account and monitoring my food intake :-(
Thought we'd timed it perfectly this month, bd on 5, 3 and 1 day before ovulation (confirmed by temping) , 10 dpo today, and I've just started with the mega cramps and a bit of light spotting. Meh. AF will be here by the morning.
I think the only word that adequately describes how I feel about myself currently is a great Scottish term "SCUNNERED" (Although it's probably mostly hormonal!)

@pitterpatterbaby that looks like a positive to me! Congrats.

@VenusStarr hugs for today. I'll hope on your behalf for good news xxx

Well had my appointment with the private consultant last night. My fella described it as one of the best dr consults he'd seen-was very impressed with him. Basically ran through a bit of history with us both (I thought it'd just be me as I was primarily there to see if he could help look at my hormone results and irregular periods) and spoke about my losses, test results, the fact that my results are suggestive of my ovaries beginning to fail  and that in his opinion time is of the essence and that IVF will give us our best chance. He's one of the consultants that covers the nhs fertility clinic we've been referred to. As we'd been to that appointment he says we can now bypass the first nhs appointment as he's effectively done the history bit. He's sending me for a couple of blood tests including AMH, and he'll get his secretary to find my referral and book me in for a scan of my ovaries etc. Other half will need a couple of sperm tests too. But he's fast tracking us through the system.

So I've gone from having very little hope two weeks ago, and feeling let down, to suddenly being on a bullet train to ivf...I'm like a rabbit in headlights. It's fab I'm getting help and that my fears over age and results have finally been listened to, but man is this a head f**k. I always said I didn't want to/couldn't do ivf, especially with my phobia...and here I am, knowing that if tests go ok, I'll be having treatment by mid July. I'm petrified!!!

@beverlymarsh So totally get the tears at your appt! I was just swimming with all the info and the reality of it.

@Carley32 Good luck with your appointment - in all honesty I think mine may turn out to be the best £240 I've spent.

@BambiOnIce80 I totally get the can't be arsed bit! Fingers crossed your oh gets his mojo on xxx