35+ TTC#1 Thread 6

[BambiOnIce80]

Spring is in the air and it's time for a new thread!

Basically: a wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the TTC journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Here's hoping we get some spring BFP luck for all of us!! 🍀🐣🍀🐣

@Laney79 big hugs to you and good to hear you're still fighting! Sounds great with the extra help. Fingers crossed for you x

Hey @Laney79 that's much more promising for you. So glad you got more tests and support.

Your post has made me worry about my situation. A couple of weeks ago when I had my ectopic scare the GP said come back and she'll order a full fertility screen on me and DH. I then saw a different doctor who said it was too early to start ordering those tests and come back after trying for three months. I then saw the original doctor who has now changed her tune, probably after chatting to the other doctor and will not do the tests. I said I was unhappy about this as I have irregular cycles and would like to understand what's going on. She would only do the sperm analysis for DH and we should try for three months and come back. I'll be 40 in three months. I just assumed I'd get referred for the tests when I go back but I'm now really worried we won't get any more support because of our age. We definitely can't afford private.

Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated!

@Catconfusion ok-that is really unfair of them to do that to you. What I did was contact the head of commissioning/medicines management at my local ccg. That's who said I was eligible after all. So if I was you I'd prob do a two pronged attack-contact your doctors surgery and speak to the practice manager. Say you are very upset and it's caused you lots more stress and anxiety on top of what you've been through being told one thing and feeling like you'd get help, then to be told the opposite at the next appointment. At the same time look up your CCG's policy on fertility investigation/treatment. Wording is very important here. Then I'd query it with the ccg direct, explain your situation factually and ask for clarity on what investigation/treatment you are eligible for. If you want to DM me the name of the ccg I can look for you and send you what I sent to mine if it helps. Also ugly be worth ringing your fertility dept/centre as they know the rules inside out-the guy we spoke to on weds was mortified to hear what happened to us and was highly critical of the way the policy is worded as it's clear GP's are taking it as written, and that's incorrect. Xxx

@Catconfusion also if they won't refer to fertility request a referral to gynae for irregular periods maybe?

Thanks @Laney79 I'll have a look into it today and get back to you. I really appreciate your support. I just don't feel nearly 40. I'm sure you probably don't either. It just springs up on you. We're newly weds and only been together a year. It took so long to meet the right person but we started trying as soon as we could.

I suggested gynae and she said see how the next few months go and go from there. I saw an endocrinologist once for PCOS after an ultrasound showed cysts but my hormones all normal and no other signs so I'm a baffling case. I was 31 then. My miscarriage scan showed no cysts so good they've gone yet periods are between 4 and 8 weeks apart. GP said probably not anything that can be done apart from low gi diet and reducing stress. I just assumed since cysts have gone and I'm ovulating now I'm out of the woods but GP says it's there for life. I've read it can cause miscarriage so I'm really worried.

We did fall pregnant the first two times we tried but sadly had two back to back miscarriages at 10 and 4 weeks as you've probably seen. We've therefore been very lucky to fall pregnant but unlucky it won't progress. I'm just scared miscarriage will happen again or we'll find it hard to conceive now. Most the stress of this is coming from not feeling supported by GP. It's amazing how much reassurance comes from those fertility blood test results. I dug out my ones from ten years ago and just hope it's a similar picture and when I go back they help me. Xx

Thank you @Carley32 @Weathergirl1 and @birdbybird - I agree, the support on this group is brilliant.

Well done @Laney79, really pleased that you are getting the right support now. Try not to worry too much about blood levels etc, leave those things to the medical professionals who can sort out the right protocol for you. And thank you for your kind words. I actually feel OK, I won't go into details but physically I'm fine and I think the miscarriage is over (will find out for sure next week) and emotionally I do feel lighter. I don't know if it's because I started grieving a few weeks ago but I do feel OK at the moment. It might be different when I go back to work but I am looking forward to doing normal things again.

Thank you all for your kindness and support, its really meant a lot to me xx ❤️

Just been told our frozen embryo is defected, trisomy in 18, high risk of 98% confirmed by PGS test. Absolutely gutted as don't have a backup now.
And naturally concerned about the one inside me. Got our early scan on 16th and praying everything goes well. And all being well will book a Harmony test for when I'm 10 weeks. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@Catconfusion I think it very much depends on the area you are in. Here, the cut-off is 39 but I think it varies. Worth pushing and checking. The guidance is also that GPs to refer after a year of trying to conceive but is recommended they do it earlier for women over the age of 35.

@Russkispy Sorry that you have been given that bad news but fingers crossed that everything goes well for you.

@Laney79 Sounds like you have a positive way forward.

Never apologise for writing an essay @Laney79 (says the woman who nearly always writes essays 😂)! Just wanted to say your essay just gave me the final kick up the backside I needed to stop dwelling and get in touch with my health board (we don't have CCG's up here). Thank you 🙂They don't make it flipping easy to figure out how to get in touch with the right place, but I've penned an email to what sounds like the right-ish department and I've had an automatic reply to say they've got it 👍 I fully appreciate that they probably won't change they're decision that I'm ineligible for IVF until another year has past, but at least I've pleaded my case for my previous unexplained primary infertility diagnosis to be taken into account and I can hopefully put it to bed no matter what the outcome. I feel 'lighter' for having sent the email 😊

Sorry to hear you've had a u-turn from the GP @Catconfusion (frustrating! 😤). I can't believe they have any idea of the hell they put is through when they do things like this, otherwise they wouldn't do it 😔

And sorry/congratulations for AF turning up @tisonlymeagain! 💐😄

Thanks for joing in with the OPK study @birdbybird! 🤓 CB smiley's confirmed for early pregnancy - just need an IC OPK or 2 now 👍

@Russkispy, I'm sorry to hear the news about your frozen emby 😔 Keeping everything crossed for good news from your early scan 🤞🏻🍀

@Carley32, how are you doing lovely? Any AF/to test or not to test news on your front?x

Ha thanks @BambiOnIce80 It's definitely congrats! I was worried it would take a lot longer so I am hoping that things start to regular. Either way, this month it is ON!

Well done @Laney79 sounds like you’ve been busy! But so glad you are being treated better and feeling positive.

It’s nice to hear you are feeling a little more yourself @VenusStarr 💐

Well @BambiOnIce80 here goes my essay.
I tested on Thursday because no sign of af and not even a spot in site..... BFN and an hour later af arrives (typical). A bit more than a few spots too, but hardly any again today (tmi) but 🤞 something positive is happening with me.

But now af has arrived I can book a consultation privately.

I am also determined to worry and stress less 🤨.

Good luck with the email @Bambi I hope you get some answers ASAP and they are better than the ones you’ve already had.

Hi All, sorry for going quite for the last two weeks.
I’ve been getting all the baby stuff I ordered months ago, before my MC and going through all the stress of still MC. 4 weeks later.

All the pregnancy tests I take keep coming back with a BFP so I cannot start TTC, and yesterday I expelled the foetus. I really though all the clotting was it leaving my body but to see the full baby, placenta and all was so traumatic.
On top of that, I had to flush imy ‘baby’ down the loo as I was at work 😔
Anyways. I am slowly trying to stay positive and move forward.
Had my AF again this week, I really though I had it last week when I bled for 2 days, but clearly my body is not back in it’s not a cycles.

There’s so many msgs I read (just from today) so please excuse me for not addressing all individually.

@laney glad you got a breakthrough with the tests .. hope this gets to the root of the issues and brings along that rainbow baby

@catconfusion it does sound very frustrating the mixed msgs you are getting from your go. My practice is the same. There is only one GP who prescribed tests, so I keep going back to him. Good luck with trying to get more support off them.

@russkispy, sorry about your frozen embryo but I’m rooting for you that all looks well in your early scan

Congrats to all others with a BFP and good luck to any in the TWW

Baby dust to all the rest of you x

Hello Hello my lovelies 😍. Got back from my 2 fantastic weeks in Brazil last Saturday and spent this week trying to get back to normal.

I did a very quick catch up on the thread and I'm happy for all the BFP ladies, especially you @Russkispy - we know how hard you persevered for this pregnancy and I am sending you good vibes your embryo will be a champion 😘. I'm also sorry to hear the bad news @VenusStarr. @79andnotout I'm also sorry to hear about your friend and what you said about life being too short to track ovulation struck a cord with me. As much as I want a baby i feel this shouldn't be this hard nor consume me and I must build a happy life for myself whatever the outcome.

On the fertility side still no AF for me but whilst in Brazil I saw a private fertility doctor who scanned me and said I have a follicle that didn't release an egg and is getting smaller so I'm bound to have my period soon. This is called a follicular cyst and is normal, unlikely the PCOS cysts. Also this is what happens when we miss a period once in a while. If I wanted to have IVF there it would be 3.5k£ plus flights and he would need me there for 3 weeks. It's something I'm considering although I don't know the costs of ivf in the uk and haven't done any research yet. Like I said I'm not sure if I'm strong enough for it. Apart from the costs there is also the emotional part which scares me the most.

I'm seeing my GP on Monday and will go through my blood tests. I will also ask her to refer me to a private gynae as I'm sick of going nowhere in the nhs. It was good to find out the cause of my lack of period but it's time to get it sorted.

Anyway, it's the weekend and I'm having a bubbly. Brazil was lovely but it's good to be back home 😊. What is everyone up to this weekend?

Cd28 today and no sign of af. Felt like she was coming all week but nothing. Took a frer yesterday about midday and clear negative. Do you think I'm out?

Loving your fighting spirit @tisonlymeagain! Go get him, tiger!! 🐯 😉

Oh @Carley32, she is a total bee-aitch when she does that! 😩 Glad you're feeling positive about this cycle 👍 And let me know how you get on with booking your private consultation, please 🙂 I don't think I have it in me to go private, but DP and I are going to a free 'open evening' on the 16th to scope it out (purely because our preferred NHS self-funded place doesn't seem to do one!). It'll hopefully be informative, if nothing else 🤞🏻

Welcome back @QuantumGirl! 😀 Glad you had a lovely holiday🍹 Sounds like you got some cycle answers too - bonus! I've started reading around private clinics (not many in my area) and I'm getting quite mistrustful of them around all the 'add ons' they offer that the HFEA discredit 😒 It'll be interesting to get your opinion on it once you've had a scout about (and help me work out if I'm just a mistrustful paranoid obsessive personality type! 🤪).

You'd be better off trying a FRER with your first morning urine @pitterpatterbaby - don't count yourself out yet.x

@Nirupa, it sounds like you've had a horrendous experience 😔 Look after yourself 💙

Thanks @BambiOnIce80 it was a twin pack of frer so I may wait it out a couple of days and see what happens. Not feeling it though 😕

@Catconfusion definitely look up your CCG's policy and see what that suggests your eligible for. The fertility centre open evening we went to said that ivf costs around £5000 if you have to pay for it.
In terms of blood tests...if you think seeing your hormone levels would help you could do what I've done and get them done privately? I did a female hormone one on medichecks (I think they are £79 but I found a promo code for 20% off)...also might be worth considering seeing a private fertility/gynae dr? Mines costing £240 for the appointment.

I totally get the fear of miscarriage/not conceiving-the latter is me right now, so you are not alone.

@Russkispy sorry to hear about your frozen little one. Keeping everything crossed for your scan.

@BambiOnIce80 glad to hear you sent the email. I really do think you have to push these days. No one will care as much about you and your situation as you do yourself, and the nhs is stretched so it's easier for them to say no. Fingers crossed for you. Our fertility centre open eve was great-and they are well versed in what should and shouldn't be available on the nhs.

@Carley32 sorry about the bfn but glad af is in play so you can move forward.

Oh @Nirupa I'm so sorry. Nothing I can say will help, just huge hugs xxx

@QuantumGirl my local fertility place said ivf is roughly £5000 if that helps?

Hey ladies, can I join please? I am 36 and ttc for #1, currently on cycle 4 of trying and still learning about my body tbh. It's such a emotional time and it's hard to relate to my friends right now, so have been lurking on this thread for guidance :)

I have recently reduced my days at work to 3 days a week - all I did was work work work for last 15 years - so hopefully this helps with my fertility. 🤞🏼

DP is wonderful, low sex drive (same with me tbh apart from around OV 😈)

Wishing everyone a lovely Sunday x

I meant Saturday obviously!

Hi @Headswim, welcome :) this thread has been a great source of support for me. Hope you've had a good day. We've been having renovations for a new kitchen, dining and living room and it is finally finished! Sitting on my sofa while dh prepares pizza. We've got Toffee apple cider to go with it too. We've not sat on our sofa since January!

Thank you @Laney79 and @BambiOnIce80. I have spent the day at home away from the internet. @VenusStarr I envy you for having a finished house. Every single room of my house needs decorating and I never know where to start, I have so many ideas but struggle to organise my thoughts and nothing gets done 🙈

@79andnotout today I stumbled across a great essential oil combination and thought if you. It's the humble rosemary and lemongrass but thought it was very refreshing, the first nice combo since I got the diffuser 🌿🍋

Oooh, congratulations on the finished renovation projects @VenusStarr! 🎉😎🎉😎 My living room is next on my hit list... right after replacing my decking (which is desperate!), which in turn depends on if we self-fund for IVF or not 🙄 Nothing's ever straightforward! 😏

Welcome @Headswim 👋 I hear you on the low sex drive front - adds a certain je nais c'est qua to the TTC stress! 😏 It can only take one well timed shot though to get a BFP, so fingers-crossed for you 🤞🏻

@QuantumGirl, glad you had a relaxing time at home 🏡 😊 We were out flashing the NT cards again, indulging in some of the best fish and chips in the land and topping off the day with a visit to a gin distillery (it'd be rude to not pop-in, seems we were passing!🍸😁). Topped it off by bing watching Pose on the BBC - has anyone seen it? The fashion is stunning! 😍

Don’t feel Bfp guilt @birdbybird - it’s lovely to get bfp news on the thread 💕

Welcome back @QuantumGirl and welcome to the thread @Headswim

We’re still in the middle of house renovations @VenusStarr can’t wait till it’s all done.

AF has arrived - one day late just to mess with my head 😒 I’m having some serious hot flushes - does anyone else get that during Af?

@Nirupa what an awful time for you. Lots of cyber hugs coming your way xxx

Glad you had a fab time in Brazil @QuantumGirl and getting some answers must have made it even better. 🤞 that af shows up for you soon.

Hi @Headswim welcome 😊. Your not alone when it comes to sex drive issues!

@VenusStarr yay glad your kitchen is finally finished and you are taking the time to enjoy it 🍻. The garden is next for us.... well I hope anyway!

We have booked for Saturday @BambiOnIce80 it’s just a consultation, semen analyisis and I think an internal exam for me (hopefully I can get hold of my blood results too), I am a little apprehensive because my GP kind of told me that this consultation was pointless and should book straight with gynae. But all I’ve had with the nhs is bloods, so I’m confused on how she can say it’s pointless 🤔.
Good luck with the open evening, I hope you get some positive advice. We would like to go to one but was just feeling a little to impatient.

Well af lasted all of a day and a half. So not feeling to positive about that either. I just wish I knew what was ‘normal’!

The hot flushes usually get me during fertile week and then a bit before af @PixiN. Sorry about af she’s such a 🤬 x