The July 19ers - The rollercoaster continues, scream if you wanna go faster

[Frazzlerock]

We can do this ladies.

We can take on anything

Tigsy with my mums third pregnancy she didn't try and book in until 12 weeks because she kept spotting - the doctors weren't impressed!

Woo diving holiday booked for April so that's ttc off the table for March. I should be in the tww when we're on holiday as well so hopefully that will help me to not focus on it so much.

@rather did the witch show up?? Realised not had an update since beer-gate and the dribbling wee on Sunday.

@Kinsters that's lovely that you've got something booked to look forward to!!

Hi all,

I thought I'd pop my head in to say hello and that I hope you're all doing well.

I also wanted to let you know where I've got to with all this.

We had our RMC appointment last Friday and got our karyotyping results which were, thankfully, clear. Neither of us have chromosome issues. This means that our little boy's trisomy was completely random and just really really unbelievably shit luck.
They took 10 vials of blood from me and I am booked in to have a hysteroscopy (camera to check cavity of my womb) in several weeks time. Our consultant said we shouldn't get pregnant for 12 weeks while they carry out these investigations.
I've mixed feelings. We've already wasted 3 years, and 40 is approaching fast. I also had imagined our baby at our wedding next Spring but that won't happen now. The years are going by so fast and I continue to struggle while everyone else has babies around me like it is the easiest thing in the world.

If/when I get pregnant again, I will be under our consultant's care and will be scanned regularly and have lots of check ups.
I still can't work DP out at all.
I feel like I'm living with two different people. He is being nice to me at the moment so that's a nice break. He is hoping to start work on Monday as a contractor but he's not signed the contract yet so still can't get our hopes up.

I think I'm currently battling depression. I don't want to talk to anyone really and have distanced myself, not only from this group, but from several friends chats on Whatsapp and Messenger.
Not TTC has put me back to grieving for our babies and possibly the baby I have been dreaming of for so long, and also grieving for the 'me' before we lost our first baby, before this long and shitty 'journey' started.
I am seeing my life coach again so hopefully a few sessions will help.

Hiya @Frazzlerock, great to hear from you but sorry you are having a rough time. Encouraging that your chromosome analysis came back clear, but having to wait 12 weeks for your next shot at ttc is frustrating.

I thought I'd do a FRER this morning (10dpo) you know, because I don't like money 🙄 Obviously it was whiter than white, but I kind of knew it would be, I haven't felt pg at all this month. I also just tested because I want to have a few guilt-free drinks tomorrow night at the pot luck supper.

@Frazzlerock sending you loads of hugs. It is great news about the chromosome analysis! Do you think it might help to try and talk to DP about this properly? How do you feel about waiting the 12 weeks? Do you think they can really help you?
P.s. I hope DP gets this job x

@Tigsyboo is it your scan today? If so I really hope it goes well for you. x

Had the scan!
Little heartbeat and baby measuring 7 weeks , 9.7mm seen through abdominal scan! 💕

Hi everyone,
Sorry I've been AWOL, it's been a really manic few weeks. I found out I was pregnant on Sunday eve but have had horrible cramps and brown blood this morning so I suspect it is a chemical. I'm 4+1
@betty that picture literally sums me up.
@tigsy I'm so glad your scan went well, thrilled for you and DH x
Hope everyone is ok...
Sending lots of love to you too @Frazzle xxx

@Tigsy that’s lovely news congratulations!

@Ratherbeshowjumping oh no! I want to say congratulations, but I guess it’s wait and see. Let us know how you get on.

@Ratherbe it could well be okay, cramping does happen in early pregnancy, FX for you x

Thanks @Rose68 unfortunately I think it's bad news... clotting & lots of bright red.
Ffs.

@ratherbeshowjumping so sorry this is happening
Sending you love xxx

Am really sorry @ratherbeshowjumping

Hope your DH is supporting you. x

I’m so sorry @Ratherbe, it’s just shit. Sending you loads of love x

Oh no rather, so sorry that happened to you. It's awful. Are you doing ok?

tigsy congratulations! How lovely!

Just to add, give yourself time rather. I felt just as sad after having this chemical as after the miscarriage although it was much less physically draining so I recovered quicker. Its been a week now and I'm feeling positive for the future.

Can you book a holiday or something nice to look forward to? We just confirmed and paid for our long weekend away and I can't wait. Its definitely improved my mood to have something positive on the horizon.

Sorry @Ratherbe, chemical or not these mc all feel heart breaking.
Congrats @tigsy re the scan. Lovely to hear things can progress along nicely.
Glad they’re running all the tests @Frazzle. Fx you get something useful out of them that helps you move forward with things.
I went for a spa yesterday. I wanted to check I could have some treatments before I booked (seeing there was nothing obvious in their fancy brochure) - knowing I’d be 8 weeks by then - so I called and double checked with the lady on reception and her manager. Both were ok with me having the ‘Mum to be essentials package’. This was access to the spa and a massage. On top I also went for a pedicure. I was also told I could only use the pool at the spa cause the other facilities wouldn’t be suitable during pregnancy. I was ok with this. My 2 friends also booked in but couldn’t get their first choice of treatments cause the spa was already busy.
So, we turned up yesterday. I filled in the health questionnaire and again noted 8 wks pregnant. We went off to have a swim, had lunch and then I had my pedicure. During which she asked about my other treatments for the day. I said about the massage and she asked me how many weeks. At this point she said I’m sorry, I don’t think you’ll be able to have it cause you have to be past 12 weeks. She sends me off to the relaxation room, for my nails to dry, where I’m starting to feel furious rather than relaxed. The massage lady then came in and confirmed they couldn’t do it. They offered us three guest passes for another visit and to rebook my treatment. Which I said wasn’t appropriate given my history and not wishing to have yet another thing to cancel if everything went wrong again. So she offered me a refund for just the massage. I was furious cause I felt we’d taken a day of holiday and been lured there under false pretences. I spent hours just playing candy crush waiting for my mates to finish. Was bored out of my mind.
So much for a nice relaxing day out ay!!

@Buggles1 I'd definitely email the GM and complain and say it was a completely wasted day because they misinformed you - I love a complaint!

@frazzlerock - thank you for popping in to say hello. I'm sorry things are not great, but at least the RMC have given you a plan. Depression is a horrible thing and there is no timeline I am afraid. I hope you can try something which works for you.

@ratherbe - so sorry to hear you have had a chemical. What a horrible thing to go through - as @kinsters says it is just as bad as mc. You get your hopes up and are excited and then dashed. I hope you can have something to look forward to.

@tigsyboo - so so so pleased to hear your scan went well! 7 weeks! Woo hoo! How are you feeling?

@buggles - that sounds like such a waste of a day. I'm pleased you got some free passes but I do feel like they could do more for you. I am desperate to get my nails done, get waxed, have threading, have a massage etc etc but I am holding out for 12 weeks.....

@kinsters - pleased to hear you have a plan of some nice things. Is the diving good where you are going? I used to dive but then developed an issue with my sinuses and can't equalise so it's just snorkelling for me these days.

@betty - sorry to hear of another white FRER. I hope you had a good pot luck dinner!!

My crippling nausea seems to be coming to an end - no where near as bad this week but of course that leads me to all kinds of worry. Although I still have a horrible taste in my mouth. Still tired but not quite as bad. My clexane injections I take daily are so tough. I am so squemish so find it hard and I have such awful bruises all over my stomach.

I have my 10week scan this week along with the NIPT blood tests if everything is OK with the scan. I am getting nervous already and it's not until Wednesday......but also feeling positive and that things are going to be OK so trying to stick with the positives!

@edidxb what NIPT test are you going for? We have been looking into different ones too
I'm hideously constipated again
Haven't poo'd more than a pebble since Tuesday!! Even tried a coffee and no joy! Over last few days
Had lactulose every day
2 x fibre sachets on thurs
Bran flakes
Around 8/9 prunes
Glass of prune juice
Mushy peas...... really can't think of anything else to help!!

I am SOO bloated I look 6/7 months and can't get in anything other than my jogging bottoms. I'm so miserable with it 😩

edidxb oh no, that's a shame about your sinuses. Is it something which might get better with time? We're going to an island off the east coast of Malaysia which (for us) is the perfect balance of ease of getting to, price and diving quality. There are no world famous dive sites but its still fantastic and sometimes the conditions align perfectly to give you an incredible dive. Plus it's not very famous so the dive sites tend to be pretty quiet. It's where we learnt to dive and also where we got engaged so lots of happy memories.

How much longer do you have to keep doing the clexane injections for? They sound horrible. Everyone seems to say the nausea wears off when the placenta takes over which should be around now so try not to worry (impossible I know!)

Morning all, apologies for being so absent on here. I just feel so aware that I might be causing some upset as pregnancy is progressing well (despite regularly bleeding still).

Frazzle I so hope DP gets the job and all calms down with him on that front. 12 weeks is such a long time, bloomin heck. Will you be able to use the time to reconnect with DP and have proper discussions about TTC?

Sorry about yet another BFP Betty - btw what's a pot luck supper?

tigsy what a relief! When's your EDD? Eek about constipation, it's bloody awful isn't it. I guess just maybe try a day or two of only really getting in veg, fruit and fruit juice? Surprised the lactulose hasnt helped!

Oh Rather I am sorry your having a CP. It's hard on you no matters early. Just a reminder to class it as a MC still and it's worth talking to your GP about it so it's on record. My MW and GP said medical professions don't recognise the term CP only MC.

Certainly jealous of your long weekend away booked up Kin ! Where you off to?

Buggles something similar happened to a friend I know! So seems common. certainly complain, bloomin awful that they treated you like that.

Good luck for the test and scan edi ! My nausea weirdly dried up for a bit around then too and panicked me! It's come back strong again at 13 weeks though so urgh.

Ah Kin just seen your reply to where you're going to edi. Could I ask for where it is exactly? be a good suggestion to my parents for their honeymoon maybe as they are keen and top divers.

Job hunt still going on here, really panicking. DH is being off with me, he opened up saying he's annoyed that we are in this position with me being pregnant when he said just after Christmas he wasn't sure about having another baby anyway. I had to remind him by that point the deed had already been done. He just said he feels like I pushed him into it and now he's picking up the pieces. So I feel like shit.

Aw Twittle can't believe you're in the second trimester already! That's really great that everything seems to be working out this time.

I think your DH is being really unfair to you. It's not your fault that you've lost your job and it's definitely not your fault you got pregnant again so quickly! Sure he's probably worried and stressed but saying you pushed him into it when you'd been actively trying for a year if I remember correctly is totally ridiculous of him.

The place we're going is Redang Island and we always stay at the same hotel, Coral Redang. Its a mid-range hotel, there are nicer ones on the island but the price goes up enormously. We book everything through a local dive shop called Divers Den who are fantastic and I can't recommend them enough. They have their own instructors on the island and if you book with them you get to dive with them rather than the hotel people. The hotel guides are nice as well but Sharon and AB at divers den have been diving for years and years and really know their stuff.