Over 40 TTC - lots of baby dust for us...2!

[Hobbes39]

New thread as last one filling up - will try to link to this in old one...!

Ok I see, it’s because of temperatures, does that mean definitely not then?

Thank you ladies for being so kind 💐

karigan it stands for termination for medical Reasons (tfmr for short)

I worried that if she made it to term that there wouldn't be anyone to look after her when I died. She would not have been an independent adult. By the time she was 30 I'd have been 75.

It was fear for her future and not knowing who would look after her when I wasn't there anymore. 😥

Hi everyone!
@Hellenbackagen - I'm so sorry you are feeling so low. As others have said, you made the right decision for you at the time and you had your reasons, and I'm sure they were c good reasons. For what it's worth I am sure I would have done the same. We thought long and hard about what we would do if our results were to come back high risk and I just knew I my heart that carrying on wouldn't have been the right thing for us as a family for many reasons. It can be right for some people, but not all.
@Cleozeta - I think you are advised to keep going with pessaries until 14dpo then take a pregnancy test - and if it's negative then stop, if it's positive keep going for a while! X

Cleo sounds like its extended you're lp - result!

(As to when to stop hope the other ladies can help ....! )

Thanks, so I'll carry on until 14dpo and then stop (I'll take a test for fun, but I know its BFN due to plummeting RHR) it will be weird having such a long lp, but refreshing! I think I'll enjoy it more next cycle now I know it works.
Excited and anxious to try clomid now. Hopefully my overies will not explode.

If anyone wants the progesterone i have (it's the crinone gel) then PM me your address and I'll send it on x

@Hellen It’s so important to remember the reasons why you made that decision and also to understand why you are feeling this way now. It is a massive thing to have to come to terms with, but I do think you made the right decision at the time.

@Cleo I know nothing about progesterone, but I think I would be keen to crack on with the next cycle.

AFM I am 9dpo and still stressing about skiing, but I have felt slightly nauseous and headachy this morning, which for me is normal a few days before AF.

Hi @Samk79 Sounds like we are in the same boat. I'll be 40 in the summer, planning to TTC in a few months. Will be my third, our first together and our fifth in total. We've made the decision to go for it, he wants to wait a few months, I want to crack on. We're going to discuss it tonight.

@tisonlymeagain how old are your other kids? Mine are 11 and 16. I hadn't told them I was pregnant but I did tell my 16 year old after my miscarriage. I was really worried about telling her but she was amazing.
I am worried about trying again as this loss has been heartbreaking.
We are going to leave it a few months so can enjoy my birthday and our wedding on July!

Hellen - sending a huge hug, you are still grieving your loss clearly. Would a bit of counselling help maybe?

Cleo- great news on the LP! Fingers crossed it's actual pregnancy though!

AFM, finally i think i ovulated. I'm day 60 or something crazy like that. I had some EWCM two days ago and since then the hot flashes have subsided. thank god. i'll keep on keeping on....

Great news mimosa! An end to the deadlock finally

Well, bbt dropped again today. I’m out for sure. I’ve had two nursing schools friends (in their 20s) announce pregnancies this week. Why does it have to be so difficult to get pregnant? We’re timing everything right, I’m ovulating...come on! Feeling frustrated today.

I am very happy for those on here that get their bfps. Absolutely excited for all of you!

I don’t know how much longer we will keep trying honestly.

@Hellenbackagen I'm so sorry you're feeling regret. I also have days like that. My tmfr was only in January so still early days. I look at her photos and she's perfect. I read about surgery for spina bifida which can be done in the womb and I think we made a terrible mistake.

We didn't.

Our girl was too poorly. The consultant told us that the surgery wouldn't have helped her. We have another DD, the course of whose whole life would have been changed had Lily survived.

It's hard. There's a pregnant mum at school who is glowing in the sunshine expecting her third. I almost cry when I se her. I should be about 33 or 34 weeks. Please be kind to yourself. You did the right thing for your baby

I feel the same when I see all the pregnant mums at the school too, and the babies. I should have a 4 month old now.

So I am panicking - I have one round of clomid to try, but I can't decide weather to do days 5-9, 4-6 or 3-7. I want 3-7 for more eggs but I also want 5-9 for quality. What to do?! I don't want to waste it doing the wrong days. Any experts in the know?
I got my BFN today so can move onto the next cycle

@Cleo I went for quality over quantity, but I did have a similar decision making stress x

I'm not an expert with clinic @Cleozeta - but I'd go with quality rather than quantity. Really what you want is that one good egg - rather than 3 or 4 not so good ones, so if clomid can do that then I'd aim for quality. Good luck x

Clomid got autocorrected to Clinic there 🤦‍♀️!

@KristieP2018.. hope you're ok. I'm feeling the same if that's any consolation x

Thank you @booseysmom

I’d like to say I am but I’ve cried most of the day. It does help knowing I’m not alone. AF isn’t even here yet but I know in the next few days it will be. I just feel so defeated. Husband and I need to have a good sit down talk about it tonight. I don’t know how much more I can take right now.

@KristieP2018 .. it's just horrible when you feel AF looming. I had very bad pmt last time. Now at 47 I'm just too scared to ttc too seriously and so prob shouldn't be on here any more but I'd also really miss it if I wasn't on here. Hope you manage to have a heart to heart with DH and that you find some way through. You can pm me if you need to talk x

Urgh AF is here, approximately an hour after buying a pregnancy test. Fucksake! So fucked off with this.

kristie and boosey you aren't alone, I had a little cry in the car today. Have had my work friends going on and on about how long it is until they go on Mat Leave all day then my hopes are dashed by AF 😫

Thank you @booseysmom and @lexilooo

We’re taking a break. I’ll keep my vitamins and vitex going but that’s it. I can’t deal at the moment and my sanity vanishing wouldn’t help anything.

Husband promised to irritate the gp about his SA results since it’s now been almost 7-8 weeks and we have no answers.

AF will get me today or tomorrow.

I’ll check in on you lovelies. Don’t forget about me xx

@Lexilooo...oh no way, so sorry Lexi. That always happens to me..I'm about to test when AF suddenly starts and I think fuck all of it! I've now just given up testing. What's the point? I also have a work colleague 10 yrs younger who will be going on mat leave this year and I'm feeling suddenly so old and that I've let life pass me by. Sorry so much doom n gloom on a sunny day. x

@Kristie2018.. that's good that you've talked to DH and come to a decision at least for now. That's all you can do really. Take it one step at a time. Wish you lots of luck and promise I won't forget you take care x

Yes feel very much the same, wish we'd started trying sooner. DH thought we were too old when we started trying, maybe he was right.....

My (younger) friend is due in about a month, not sure how I'll cope when she has the baby. Can't even avoid it because she's a work friend so will bring the baby into the office and photos will be circulated.

ladies thank you for the words of wisdom and kindness - its just hard and i never truly imagined that it would be our last chance at parenthood together. so stupid really because i was 44 then. its hard now, especially when i see kids with T21 who arent so badly affected but there is a huge spectrum and the problem is there is no crystal ball. would she have been one of the lucky ones or one of those who got dementia in her 30s, cancer, heart problems, breathing problems, hearing and sight issues.....it was all such an unknown. the risk was too great at my age because i was already having nightmares about who would be her carer after we were gone. and my midwife told me at the time her friend had just lost her 4 year old dd with T21 due to complicated heart issues. i wish there had been a way of knowing to what extent she would have been affected. but there wasnt and i cant change history - im just so sad at times about it all. i was absolutely elated when i took the test and saw the line, and just had absolutely no reason to think that i wouldnt be holding my baby by the new year. my dreams were shattered with one phone call. and theyve stayed shattered ever since. im not going to get my rainbow and im not finding it easy to come to terms with. but thank you all again - i know that at the time i did extensive research and i rang arc a number of times. its just not something i ever thought id be dealing with. the fact i havent got pg in the 3.5 years since feels like some sort of punishment. and i just often wonder if she was just meant to be and i denied her. i wish those thoughts would go away - but they dont. i rang arc just once more on DS awareness day because i just wanted to hide under the duvet. i was really tearful and i didnt find much comfort in anything that day. i wouldnt even know where to start with the type of counselling id need.
anyway thank you for letting me ramble on here....there isnt anyone in rl i can ramble to! x