The July 19ers - All aboard the rollercoaster for a 3rd lucky thread

[Frazzlerock]

So I’ve just found out my younger sister is pregnant for the first time. She’s due in July, when I should have been. If that wasn’t bad enough, her bf is a total bastard. He actually went off and slept with someone else when she bought a house without him over a year ago. That woman then had a kid which he had a dna test to prove wasn’t actually his. All the time he knew that woman was pregnant he was trying to get my sister up the duff so she wouldn’t be able to get away from him once she found out.
I know I’ve had my bfp but I feel even more pressure for this one to work out now. If it doesn’t I’m really worried I won’t be able to go see her and torture myself like that. I feel sick.

@Kinsters... I know how you feel re the language. My husband is from India and when we meet up with his friends they tend to start in English but revert to Hindi once drunk. I’m totally lost by that point tend to revert to my mobile for company... which I’m then told is rude?!?!? Honestly!!!

It is knackering @edidxb and when you're tired like that, it's only natural to want your own home etc. Glad you're back now.

Hopefully it's something to do with the time change @Kinsters... that's awful regarding the language are you likely to move back to the UK in the future? It must be awful to have absolutely no idea what they're saying with no effort to involve you.

Sorry you have to go through that too @Buggles1 🙁

We are currently sat on the runway in Gran Canaria. Our flight was an hour late to take off... and we were diverted here 4 hours in as a lady became unwell on board. So paramedics currently taking her off the plane.
First flashing smiley on the cb advanced opks this morning so hopefully we can dtd over the next few days as we certainly won't be doing it today 🙈

Soooo what I didn't need, when I decided to meet up with a group of really old friends to cheer me up tonight, was to be hit with two pregnancy announcements. One due the exact time baby from mc1 would have been due and one due this autumn. Literally thought I was going to throw up/cry/both. Oh my god!

Oh no @Pegase that must have been awful!!
Sending you massive hugs!!

I think if anything I've learnt how sensitive pregnancy is as a subject... I would have been one of those making cherry announcements without a care in the world before I lost my baby... but since then you take a step back and realise your pregnancy announcements don't make everyone happy and I think I'm much much more sensitive to that now x

Yeah true I never would have thought of it either before. I actually am happy for them but just could have done with not finding out tonight, the day after a mc scan. With mc 1, I was hit with a pg announcement the same day! Would just like the universe to be a bit kinder in its timing!

Thanks @tigsyboo btw- needed to vent as have had to hold this in all evening!

I completely understand @Pegase
I walked into my friends house a week after my erpc (she didn't know) to find that they were making baby shower favours for her sisters baby shower - and I had to sit and help because - well - what the fuck else could I do!! I faked a 'must dash' text after an hour and cried the whole way home.
Vent away!!! I know that feeling xxx

Sorry in case anyone feels bad - as ever all pg announcements on this thread are welcomed as we all know too well the alternative outcome and also need lots of good luck on our thread!

@Pegase stop worrying about us on here hun
We all know the score with each other.
We know we all all happy for those that make it quickly but are here for those that have blows and falls too.... we all know our aim on here is to have a baby, and we are either all going through or have been through hell to get there. We will all get there. It's not like the 'outside world' where pregnancy announcements hurt beyond belief....
I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here , but we are here for each other through the good and the bad xx

So sorry to jump straight in without catching up. DS has the flu so he is proper poorly and taking up most of my time, poor thing.

But I've just had some red spotting and I couldn't resist sticking my fingers up there as my cervix had dropped (like literally only have to put in half a finger to fill it!) and is open. This is how last MC started. Although my body kept it for ages, my cervix had proper dropped and opened with the spotting idk what to do. I can't find my EPU number online and my MW is away.

Ooh @TwittleBee you poor thing you must be so worried. How many weeks are you now lovely?

I'm 10+4, next scan in 8 days. I know they'll just tell me to wait till then anyway even if I do just phone EPU. They take ages to book you in for a scan anyway, it's not something they offer same day. I guess it's just gonna be a waiting game. I haven't told DH, can't bring myself to.

When I started bleeding last time the EPU booked me in straight away Twittle (even though we had the 12 week scan already booked in for the following morning). I don’t think they should make you wait.

They've made me wait previously, it's just different area to area. Usually it's between 5 to 7 days to get seen.

@edidxb travel in early pregnancy is exhausting. Do make sure you get plenty of rest.

@Buggles1 keeping fx for you that your bean sticks. Your sister's bf sounds like such a catch

@Kinsters it is really annoying isn't it when people speak in another language and effectively exclude you from the conversation. I hate it, a couple of colleagues do it at work. My family in Malaysia do the same - I understand some of what's going on with my limited Cantonese but my sister has no idea as she just never learnt much. My cousin's wife only speaks mandarin and a little English so never understands anything the extended family say as it's all in Cantonese. I can understand the older generation (grandparents generation) who can only speak Cantonese and the basics of Malay but all our generation and aunts/ uncles speak English (Manglish/Singlish).

@tigsy I couldn't have said it better myself. For some reason it doesn't sting when I see pregnancy announcements on this thread and the TTC after pregnancy loss thread. It's only the outside world it hurts like hell. DH and I agreed when we found out we were pregnant the first time that we wouldn't do any social media announcements but would just break it to people as we saw them or call/ text those we knew the news would upset them because I knew how much announcements hurt because it took us 5 years to get pregnant. I think unless you've been affected by infertility or pregnancy loss you are oblivious that your happy news is actually devastating for others.

@twittle please get yourself seen, go straight to EPU tomorrow if they're not open today. I hope things are still ok though. Our EPU here lets you sit and wait to be seen and can try fit you in that day for a scan.

@Pegase

@rather I hope your flight wasn't delayed much more.

Oh no Twittle- do you have a different EPU you can go to that does same day scanning?

Oh no Twittle if Epu won't see you could you book a private scan?

InDreamland yes it's really annoying because I know they do all speak English. I understand them not wanting to have lunch with me everyday or be my friend or whatever but at the rare events when I do come I wish they'd make a small effort!

Aaarrrggghhhh my blasted DH. I wish he would just engage his brain, it is like living with 5 year old who just creates more work for me, he's more of a hindrance than a help. All I find myself constantly doing is going round the house fixing his mistakes and where he just leaves cupboard doors and drawers open, takes things out which are in his way then doesn't put them back, rips open big bags of things just to get 1 or 2 bits out and so the rest of what's in there falls out everywhere ........he drives me mad. It's never ending.

Sorry for the rant but but I feel like I just can't get anywhere with him, constantly picking up after him. It's like our private clinic appointment was almost 3 weeks ago, do you think he's arranged his second semen sample test yet? Do I have to do everything? He desperately wants a baby, feel like he doesn't take it seriously enough, of course as usual everything is down to me.

@Kinsters it is just rude if that speak English. When I visited HK to see my cousin we hung out with her friends and they all made the effort to speak English all day because my Cantonese isn't great - even though they knew I can understand some (had a conversation with a market stall owner where she spoke to me in Cantonese and I answered back in English, we both oddly understood each other). My point is it is polite to make the effort when one person in the group doesn't speak the language.

Argh that's so annoying InDreamland, I do feel like a lot of men lack the initiative to be helpful. That's pretty bad with the Sperm test though. Is he at least doing things to improve his sperm like taking vitamins etc?

I can never tell if my colleagues are rude and unfriendly or just shy or maybe tactless. I've stopped caring too much tbh, it's not worth the head space.

@Kinsters he is taking those proxeed supplements now but he really needs to get a grip and start acting like a responsible adult. I am never switched off, I work full time and then sort everything out at home, as soon as he gets home from work he switches off and turns into some kid who needs his back side kicking into gear.

It's difficult at work, if it's an office over here then I would expect English to be spoken in a regular office, especially when it's everyone's first language so I find it incredibly rude to constantly talk in another language. Guess in Malaysia it's less straightforward, so many languages are spoken there, guess Malay should be the primary language but if you work in a predominantly Chinese office whichever dialect is most widely spoken will likely be used but it is hard because not everyone will speak it. Like in Penang most Chinese will speak Hokkien, in Sabah I think there's a lot of Haka speaking Chinese, Cantonese speaking are all over the place. Think the whole language thing in Malaysia is more complicated than here. I remember a Malay lady at a Hawker stall started speaking to me in Malay, I said I couldn't understand and she looked at me in total disgust.

@twittle - how are you now?

@kinsters - gosh work sounds awful if you can't speak to people/vice versa normally. I am lucky in that my colleagues as a whole are really great. I might hate my job but the people get me through most days.

There is only 2 hours time difference between here and S.Africa so that's something!

@indreamland - I get it on the husband front. Although mine was so good on holiday and did most things for me which is very unusual! But now we are home I will be back to laundry, cooking etc!

@tigsy and @pegase - we really are all here for each other. It's the way it has to be!

We had sports day today - literally my least favourite day of the year. It was really hot and sunny, there was no shade, students were rude and I get really annoyed with other staff who sit and do nothing! What a first day back after half term!!

Hope everyone has had a good weekend xx

InDreamland totally understand that, DH can be similar. I always end up sharing him this cartoon to remind him how he needs to think too and not just me: www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/world/2017/may/26/gender-wars-household-chores-comic

Tbh that's the best attitude to have Kin

Oh I feel for you edidxb - really can't imagine how frustrating it must be to do a sports day, let alone in the heat!

So only a little more spotting but having awful cramps. This all coincides with my loss of symptoms too over last week, they've been getting better and better. Now I'm worrying that rather it's due to placenta kicking in its because I'm MC again.

I'll give EPU a call tomorrow. I must have the number somewhere on my previous paperwork.