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The July 19ers - All aboard the rollercoaster for a 3rd lucky thread

986 replies

Frazzlerock · 31/01/2019 10:32

Brew Cake

The July 19ers - All aboard the rollercoaster for a 3rd lucky thread
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52
BettySwoll0cks · 21/02/2019 16:17

Not even sure that 'ingratitude' is a word. That's how cross it makes me.

Hope your DS starts feeling better soon @TwittleBee, what's up? We had the horrendous cough/cold in our house but no fever. Your heart breaks for them doesn't it

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 21/02/2019 16:21

@tigsy that is really bad! I'm glad they let you book an appointment with your GP. can understand your fury!
Re aspirin, I took 75mg everyday along with progesterone and it didn't make the blindest bit of difference. I will still probably take it again though as it doesn't cause any harm. Progesterone is expensive though, if you go down that route. £75 for three months worth. Luckily baby aspirin is cheap as chips.

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tigsyboo · 21/02/2019 16:38

Thanks @Frazzlerock
It makes me so angry that I pay my NI contributions for 20 years and when I want something I'm told 'wait for 2 more babies to die first!' Wtf?!

I'm not really sure of the benefits / negative
I've read the baby aspirin can't hurt but could help... but when the stock NHS answer is computer says no it's hard to get anywhere!

Rose68 · 21/02/2019 16:59

@Tigsy you should be able to get an early scan when you see your GP, but they might make you wait until 8 weeks on the nhs. Otherwise I would just pay for one x

@Frazzle it doesn’t seem fair how fast they grow does it. DS2 was getting upset because he doesn’t want me to change, so I was like, well I didn’t want you to change, where did my little baby go! 😢

ratherbeshowjumping · 21/02/2019 17:24

@Twittle, hope you're little boy gets better soon, bless him. Lots of cuddles xx

God he sounds awful @tigsy! Glad you set him on the straight and narrow.

tigsyboo · 21/02/2019 17:37

@Rose68
I paid last time and they refused to do TV only abdo and could only see the sack.... this was the start of my worry and ultimately the miscarriage process

InDreamland · 21/02/2019 18:00

Ladies, I don't know what's wrong with me. While up this morning feeling tearful and almost cried twice whilst getting ready for work. Then at work, we'll at a conference with loads of colleagues there were a couple of presentations and both basically mentioned being heavily pregnant, maternity leave, being pregnant and giving birth ....... totally unrelated to the subject but general comments thrown in ......... well, cue set me off .......I just feel so low. Tomorrow my first baby should be 4 weeks old.Sad or I should be 19 weeks pregnant now.

Rose68 · 21/02/2019 18:10

@Twittle sorry your LO is poorly, I hope he is better soon 🙁

@Tigsy you should definitely have had a TV scan, maybe it was a crap sonographer. They could tell my pregnancy didn’t look right abdominally at 6.5 and 7.5 weeks, but they still did the internal scan and they could see much more.

@Indreamland Sending you hugs, do you think you will try ivf or anything else? Flowers

InDreamland · 21/02/2019 18:13

@ratherbeshowjumping that FB group has made my blood boil! I'm already super emotional and sensitive as it is. How fucking dare they. Do they have any idea how lucky they are? I would give so much to just have a baby, boy or girl who fucking well cares. One baby, one full term healthy baby that I can hold in my arms and bring home. Sorry but they should hang their heads in shame, ungrateful so and so's

@tigsyboo there has been an interesting discussion on the TTC after pregnancy loss thread about baby asprin and the pros and cons. You might be interested in reading it.

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Frazzlerock · 21/02/2019 18:17

@InDreamland it's a horrid horrid time. There's nothing wrong with you. Of course you're going to be upset/down. Don't beat yourself up and just embrace it and ride out the feelings. Reminders are everywhere. It's shit. Completely shit 😢
I'm watching the Hairy Bikers and they're cooking for an expectant couple. The husband keeps saying "now baby's on its way... ". I keep saying "wow, you're confident... "🙄
Babies and pregnancy is everywhere, it's chucked in our faces day in and day out. In real life and on telly.
I know we're 'hyper-aware' but fuck me, enough already!

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InDreamland · 21/02/2019 18:18

Thanks @Rose68 I'm not really wanting to do ivf, it's busy not for me. Waiting for my NHS gynae appointment booked next month and will get results from blood test for clotting. Then waiting for DH to sort out his next semen analysis and DNA test so I can then book next private consultation. Will wait to see then what is next.

InDreamland · 21/02/2019 18:22

@Frazzlerock that is what I think is okay of the problem, it's everywhere shoved down my throat. I just can't escape being reminded of how inadequate i am. I go to work it's from the moment I very too the train station. All over telly, bossy Meghan and Harry with their insensitive announcement on wave of light day to that ISIS girl being able to have them to just absolutely bloody everything and everywhere. I just want to scream. Instead I just cry lots.

InDreamland · 21/02/2019 18:23

*part not okay...... stupid auto correct.

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 22/02/2019 07:29

@InDreamland yep, I totally get you! And I'm sure we all do. If it's any consolation I cry most days. I never was a cryer before all this, not even when my heart was broken by a stupid boy. I tried to cry and couldn't! These days I find I can't stop. I wonder where all these tears come from, I mean how much water can I bloody have!

I hope you feel a little better today xx

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ratherbeshowjumping · 22/02/2019 08:09

Totally get you @InDreamland xxx
Life is so, so unfair.
You will get your beautiful chubby baby, and you'll be the best mother 😘

InDreamland · 22/02/2019 08:28

Oh @Frazzle I didn't realise you have been crying every day. It's shit isn't it. Had another cry this morning getting ready for work. I don't know if it's because AF is due between Sunday and Wednesday........I've no idea what my body is doing anymore. Why can after 5 years my body suddenly get pregnant twice within 6 months but can't keep them?

@rather thank you hun and right back at ya. I think you and all the other lovely ladies here will make amazing mums to our rainbows, I just wish they would hurry up.

Seeing my nieces at my SIL tomorrow, I love those girls, just wish they had a baby cousin.

InDreamland · 22/02/2019 08:34

Oh FFS every morning, another pregnant woman on the train. I can't escape it. It's like they follow me everywhere.

tigsyboo · 22/02/2019 08:44

Is today your epu apt @Pegase?? Thinking of you xx

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 22/02/2019 08:46

@InDreamland I've been crying everyday since we lost the first one. Well maybe a week or two without. Like when DP finally agreed to TTC again last June, then again when we got our BFP. But other than that, it's been tears everyday. I keep it to myself, hide in the loo at work or disappear to another room at home. It is tiresome.

I managed to not see any preggos on the commute in this morning. But lo and behold, on my friend's group chat on messenger, one of my friends has just announced she is an auntie and then uploaded a picture. I have muted it for today but seeing it has triggered all sorts of shit. Great! Just when I was starting to feel a little more positive!

Why can after 5 years my body suddenly get pregnant twice within 6 months but can't keep them? I have no idea, it makes no sense does it.
I wonder why, after not wanting anymore children (which were hell to conceive and I vowed I'd never put myself through that again) did I get pregnant by complete surprise only for that baby to die, then two more die. Then I'm left with this gaping hole I never had before. What was the point? I was perfectly happy before all this. "Everything happens for a reason" apparently, well come on then, what is the reason? I'm waiting!

What do we do? Sad

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InDreamland · 22/02/2019 08:59

I hate it when people tell me "things happen for a reason" @frazzle and like you I'm still waiting to find out what it is. Why do people have to post pics of newborns. I just have to try avoid them otherwise I just break down. All I'm reminded of is losing my two. I wasn't this bad when it was just "unexplained infertility " yes it hurt but my reaction was not this intense.

I think we should all club together to by an island where we can all escape it when we need to. Pregnant bellies and pregnancy/birth announcements are banned unless its us who've been through this horrid journey.

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 22/02/2019 09:08

I've dreamt of being able to disappear from all the pregnant shit for so long. I see where you get your name from now - Dreamland is an island exactly how you described...

@Pegase how are you getting on?

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Rose68 · 22/02/2019 09:20

@Pegase thinking of you today x

Pegase · 22/02/2019 09:38

Thanks everyone for remembering. Empty gestational sac confirmed so now waiting to discuss next steps. I suspect they are going to ask me to wait it out which I will not be happy about!

tigsyboo · 22/02/2019 09:44

Oh @Pegase
My heart is breaking for you 💔
Be firm - tell them no. As soon as you tell them your mental health will suffer they have to do something xx

Original poster
Frazzlerock · 22/02/2019 09:47

Oh @Pegase! I'm so sorry lovely, This is all so shit Sad
If you are not happy about waiting it out then you don't have to. My first loss they recommended being operated on, they should not be sending you on your way! They should be giving you all the options of management. Shit, I am so so sorry xxx

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