The July 19ers - All aboard the rollercoaster for a 3rd lucky thread

[Frazzlerock]

Great stuff @rather, a new cycle begins! Can't stand the waiting. Mind you, the pre-Ov days are dull as hell but still, you're back on the road again.

I feel q queasy today. The first thing I thought this morning when I got woken up (by a 2yr old sprawling over me and saying "I love you Mummy" - whereupon all is forgiven) was gosh, I know this feeling. It's that slightly hung over, mild headachey feeling that I get every time I'm pg. I had it with my chemical though really strongly so I know it doesn't count for anything. Also a temp spike this morning. Fx.

@Betty the pre-ov days are boring but I'm just glad that af is finally here in honesty.
Your DS sounds adorable. I can't wait to wake up to that one day! This morning I woke up to my dog licking my arm, not quite as cute lol. That's really positive... 2 sleeps until Saturday....!

Not feeling too bad, thanks @Ratherbe.
I couldn’t wait and actually did a test on Monday. It didn’t show a line at all and I felt pretty down. I almost didn’t test this morning cause I felt sure it was going to be negative - so why waste a test ay! I’ve had the strange stretchy stomach feeling and some back ache already, bit nauseous this morning but that is it really. I never had that many symptoms last time so it was hard to know I’d mc’ed. Hoping I’m as sick as I was with norovirus (maybe not quite that much) this time for reassurance!

I know what you mean about wanting symptoms @Buggles but if I'm honest, I still had really strong symptoms last time for weeks after the pregnancy had actually failed. Bodies can be so bloody misleading 😔

Sorry that sounded turbo negative. I don't mean it to. But people kept telling me while I was miscarrying that it was such a good sign that I still had loads of symptoms, and I was in denial because I kept feeling so .... pregnant. Anyway. I'll stop talking now. 🙊

I know exactly what you mean Betty (didn't read as negative either btw). I had the most awful morning sickness which continued until about 2 weeks after I had miscarried, as if my body didn't quite believe I wasn't still pg. As a result of the sickness, I told quite a few people and they all said exactly the same thing. Then you hear how others had the most boring (in a good way) pregnancy with not a sore boob or early morning dash to heave in sight... I don't think there's any rhyme or reason to it.

My symptoms have stopped altogether which doesn't bode well

Mind you last time I didn't even have any at this stage so no rhyme or reason to it I agree.

What dpo were you Monday when you got the negative then what day was the positive @Buggles1 ??

@Pegase keeping everything crossed for you

Not negative at all Betty, totally understand where you’re coming from.
@tigsy I was 10dpo (well 10 past the on clear blue ovulation kit) on Monday and 13 today. Was using first response, which supposedly shows 6 days before AF is due, in both tests but was definitely no second line on Monday but obvious second line today. Very strange.

I think the hcg doubles every 48hrs Buggles, so you must have been on the cusp of enough hcg yesterday which meant more than enough for today. That's super early to receive such a strong line! Have you told DH yet?

Yup, told DH this morning. He looked super happy but I worry cause he was so concerned about me last time. The delays before going in for the op meant we had a very rough couple of days. I know it scared him to see me like that.

Hi all. Sorry busy long day here but just wanted to say congrats @buggles! That's great news to see today!

Congratulations @Buggles1. Fx for a sticky bean!

So I'm CD15 and still not getting peak fertility and had 8 days of flashing smiley. Really anxious now there'll be no ov this month. The instructions say if get 9 days of peak then unlikely to ov that cycle on top of this, this has really upset me www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3507736-British-IS-girl-wants-to-return-to-Britain and www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3507989-To-think-everyone-saying-Shamima-Begum-should-rot-in-Syria-have-completely-overlooked-the-fact-that-she-is-pregnant?pg=1&order=

How is it someone who goes top inflict pain, suffering and evil on innocent people can be blessed with live births and full term pregnancies? What the fuck have I done to not be able to have a baby?

That's great bugles xx

Congratulations @Buggles1 !

@Indreamland sending you hugs

@Rose68 thanks. That poor little baby once it's born. It's two older siblings. Didn't stand a chance. This is another one where I'll have the baby. That one and the one abandoned in newham. I'll have them both.

@InDreamland the world isn’t a very fair place is it.

It breaks my heart @Buggles1. All these babies who didn't ask to be brought into this world but enter it into a toxic family. That child will have evil murdering terrorists as parents. Then that poor baby dumped in Newham in the freezing cold ....... it's just unfair. Then there's people like us all on here desperate for a child to love and cherish in a safe and loving environment.

When I was a teenager and in my early 20's, maybe too immature to understand or comprehend all this, or know the realities of having that urge and aching to be a mother ......I said that there's so many unwanted babies in the world in need of a loving home and that I would adopt. Fast forward 15-20 years and I can't seem to get pregnant and keep the baby alive ........we considered adoption but we're so worried about not being able to bond with the baby and vice versa .......it's such a huge responsibility.........it would be different to not carrying your own child and having that bond from the moment you see that BFP, so we changed our minds. I still wonder though if we could adopt and give a poor child like these 2 babies a safe warm and loving home and family to grow up in.

Sorry I'm rambling. Guess I'm just really emotional at the moment.

I knew a colleague at work who went through her whole pregnancy but the baby had unforeseen complications straight after birth. Sadly they lost their little girl within just a couple of hours.
Like me, she was getting on a bit and they came to the conclusion they couldn’t go through it again. They ended up adopting a young brother and sister. They had come from an unstable home and it took quite some time to bond with them but she says she wouldn’t change things now. It’s been challenging at times but those kids have a wonderful start in life compared to what the alternative could have been. It made me change my mind about adopting.
If things don’t work out for us I think we would consider it. Even if things do, I came from a family of three kids and never imagined myself having only one child - so we may still go down that route anyhow.

I have a colleague at work who has adopted 3 children. The children are all biological siblings and they were adopted at the same time (all under 5). I think if you were going to adopt it would have to be when the children are really young in order to have that bond. Having said that, the children have various different difficulties - mainly slower developmentally and have missed various milestones etc. I think the mother drank through the pregnancies so there are some issues. I am so impressed though. It is such a difficult process to go through, and they did it from here through the UK too. But they are all very happy.

Whereas my other friend who has gone through early menopause has thought of adopting but doesn't want to.

I don't think I could do it. I really admire people who do, but I don't think it is for us......but I'm not at that point yet. I am still having hope I will get there naturally.

I also never replied after my post the other day about becoming attached to everyone on here! It's been a busy few days. I can't imagine for one second that we would all come to Dubai but the invitation is still there!

So, I'm off on holiday tomorrow morning. This is the holiday that we had the big argument about during ovulation! I'm not overly keen on a long haul flight right now but hopefully I can just get through it and then we can relax on the other side!

@pegase - I hope you are OK today x Are you going for a scan this weekend maybe?

I would adopt in terms of bonding which wouldn't worry me so much. I would be very worried however about raising a child with fetal alcohol syndrome for example. I don't think our relationship would survive a strain like that.

Scans at weekend only at St Thomas' in my area with the receptionists who make everyone cry but 100% going during half term first thing next week to my local hospital.

Is that for an early scan @Pegase? Are you worried?

Morning everyone.
Sorry for my strip yesterday morning. My day just got worse as couldn't stop crying.

I managed to hold it together when I got home so DP didn't know I was having a shit day but he saw straight through my fake smiles. And he made me talk to him.
But the inevitable happened. I gently told him that I was struggling with not catching ovulation this cycle, but that I know how much he is putting into this financially and emotionally. I was softening the blow but I meant that, I really do appreciate how much he is sacrificing for this to work.
But he took it terribly (this is normal and the reason I use fake smiles around him when I'm down) He got really angry with me and made me feel like shit.

So I have spent most the night apologising and telling him how much I love and appreciate him. Because I hate it when he's angry and I would do anything to turn it around again.
It's just such a shame because I would love so much to be able to just offload and for him to hug me, and say we will try harder next cycle, you know?

Anyway, I've had 4 hours (disturbed) sleep as I fell asleep after midnight and woke at 4am unable to get back to sleep.
So I'm getting a tease temperature of 36.90 which I'm 99% sure I can discard.

Kill me now.

I will catch up properly when I get to the office, I find it easier to catch up when using the web version of MN, rather than mob xx

Strop, not strip 🙄