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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

TTC FIRST BABY - Thread 11!

957 replies

FlapJackered · 08/01/2019 08:47

Hi all, thought we needed to start a new thread!
@KatBeCool
@cupcakesandglitter
@MrsAW2018
@Crossfitgirl
@EltzBee
@TrashKitten10

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ValidUser · 22/01/2019 17:37

Thanks @cupcakesandglitter - possibly a midline laparotomy, but I'll survive it!

MrsLBear · 22/01/2019 17:48

Sorry to hear that you're having a tough time @Cinderella812. TTC can really kick up a whole world of problems that weren't even problems before. My DH has a low libido as well and when we tried to properly time DTD it all got too much for him several times which ended up with me being in tears and then him at a later stage too. The pressure was too much and because we aren't a couple who have sex all the time it was like we were changing what we were far too much. I really found that by not telling him when it was I could almost manipulate when we had sex and when we didn't to suit my fw. I myself had to adjust a bit (not saying you have to btw) and also understand that for us it's easier to DTD at the drop of a coin but for men it's a bit more complicated. He kept losing his mojo and he even thought he had a problem but it was all psychological.
With regards to depression, I've not experienced it before so can't really comment but what I do know is there's so much out there in terms of help and sometimes talking to an innocent party can really help. My job is extremely stressful at times and I do find it hard to not take it out on my DH. Don't take it to heart that he got offended about the syringe suggestion. Men are wired very differently to us. They see it as failure when we see it as a solution. All the best to you on this journey ❤️

DayDreamer1707 · 22/01/2019 18:12

@BostonFern hope you don't come on!!! I just can't help but think about it haha. I do my own head in!

@Cinderella812 oh god, I don't even know what to suggest. What about maybe a shared calendar? You can put the FW in there. He can then see it without you having to say anything? Less pressure maybe?

@ValidUser sorry for the surgery you need but least you know that you can still have children which must be a huge relief.

BostonFern · 22/01/2019 18:21

@ValidUser it must be a relief to know the consultant believes you can have children.

@DayDreamer1707 I'm trying not to read anything into any kind of emotional or physical changes at the moment as I can't really remember what I used to feel like before AF when I wasn't on the pill!

Cinderella812 · 22/01/2019 19:59

@DayDreamer1707 We already do that, my fertile window is on our shared iPhone calendar, so he knows when it is. He just doesn't act on it, despite what he says about wanting a baby (which seem like empty words to me now).

I have tried to talk with him, but he refuses to speak to me any more today due to my "ridiculous, emasculating suggestion". He seems really hurt by it. I was trying to be practical, because I've seen women get pregnant that way on this board. I thought it was a sensible solution. But I see how he could take it as emasculating... but he's emasculating himself. Just have sex with your hot wife. It shouldn't be such a chore.

He has the energy to go to boxing classes at 5am daily (sometimes more than one), on top of work. So it's not fatigue. He tells me he's attracted to me. I choose to believe him (though that's easy to doubt). Sometimes I'm not in the mood, but you just get on with it. And within two minutes, you tend to find you can get into the mood! But he won't even try.

I don't know what I can do. He's got all the details of counsellors and therapy etc. He's just not done anything about it.

I adore this man. He is a wonderful partner and husband in every other way. I just feel sexless and lonely.

Honestly, I get a ridiculous thrill when someone at work will flirty-banter with me. Or a stranger wolf whistles. I know that makes me a bad feminist. But literally anything that acknowledges I am a sensual being is like a drug to me! Then I trot off home and try to be a good wife, but I am treated as platonically as the dog.

I am starting to understand why people have affairs. I wouldn't. It isn't in my nature. But I do understand.

Nextchapter19 · 23/01/2019 16:15

@Cinderella812 big hugs. I’ve read your posts above and really feel for you. That must be so hard. The responsibility most definitely should be shared, whilst not taking the fun away. I suppose if your DH has a low sex drive anyway, feeling like it has to be at a set time will add to his stress. Maybe addressing his overall sex drive is the issue here. What I mean is, if you could get to a stage of having sex more frequently on a weekly basis it would hopefully coincide with part of your fertile window anyway. I think the key is that sex is not just about having a baby, but more about having that physical connection with each other first. Maybe you could take it back to basics and even start with a date night, where you both take time out from the busy working week and make time for your relationahip in a flirtatious way. This is not meant to sound patronising. Im just thinking of my own experiences this week! Last night we knew I was in my fertile window, still am, but both couldn’t face sex after having it the 2 previous days. I know we both want a baby, but it can take effort even if he is more willing. I think you need to sit down together and maybe say your idea you proposed was maybe a result of how upset and frustrated you are, and you need to talk about it openly. Have you asked him what he wants? How he sees a way forward with it? Maybe put the ball back in his court now?

AngeloMysterioso · 24/01/2019 11:08

Hi ladies
I'm starting to get really worried now. On top of the worry of my period arriving a week early, I am still bleeding. We're on day 9. My periods usually only last 5-6 days. Could this be a sign of perimenopause? Or do I just need to calm the fuck down?

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