TTC FIRST BABY - Thread 11!

[FlapJackered]

Hi all, thought we needed to start a new thread!
@KatBeCool
@cupcakesandglitter
@MrsAW2018
@Crossfitgirl
@EltzBee
@TrashKitten10

@FlapJackered mines gone up too!!! We're actual ov buddies as well 😂😂😂 how much is it supposed to go up by? It's gone up but not back up to pre ov temps yet, is this normal? X

@thumper59 John Lewis have them for £60 too 👌🏻😂 not feeling great today feel really sick and dizzy, is it hometime yet please?

@Lozzlepop bargain! I start work at 9... currently sat on my drive defrosting my car. 😂🙄

@thumper59 its a total bargain 😂 haha whoops, I start at 8:30 so was defrosting mine at 6:50 😴

@thumper59 I don;t feel like I am pregnant either but sometimes no symptoms is good and it is still very early.

@cupcakesandglitter so glad you have now ovulated, sorry I don't temp so not sure how it works.

Is anyone else testing this weekend or due the wonderful AF? Please know that I say 'wonderful' in a huge great big sarcastic voice 😘

@cupcakesandglitter no way!! 😂 that is so random that we are cd buddies then both ovulate late and are ov buddies too! 😂
My temp has gone from 36c to 36.51c but it's not unusual to have a slower rise. It has happened to me before.

@DayDreamer1707 - I'm not due til the 31st good luck for this weekend!

Thanks @DayDreamer1707 tell me about it @FlapJackered I'm just hoping it shoots up - I've attached my chart below, it's the first one I've had that's like actually dipped around ov etc xx

@cupcakesandglitter seeing your chart makes me want to try temping again! It's such a clear dip then rise.

Still no sign of af yet... I just know it's going to be late and turn up just at the moment that will devastate me the most! I'm going to try not to test until the weekend when it's 3 or 4 days late I don't have any symptoms at all apart from some backache.

Well, I'm due to ovulate tomorrow and still no doing the deed. DH wants to relax on his day off. (Which to him, doesn't seem to involve sex). He has a low sex drive anyway, despite no medical issues (testosterone is normal) or medicines affecting him etc. He can happily go for six weeks without sex. He is 28 and very physically fit with an active job.

He doesn't like me to initiate sex, because he feels bad turning me down. I think he feels like less of a man when he says no to me, so he rather avoids that entirely and doesn't like me to start anything. So me initiating is off the table. The idea of "seducing" him just won't work... he'll feel pressured, I'd feel rejected, we'll both end up upset.

So sex is when he wants it. He knows about fertile windows, it's on our joint calendar. I've explained it all to him. Almost every day, he talks about how he wants to have a baby together, discusses names etc. He's making appointments to view bigger houses, which would have more bedrooms. He's genuinely excited for children.

But my FW is nearly over and we haven't had sex at all. I read your posts ladies about your men who are willing to be worn down to stubs to try for a baby, and I want to cry. Mine says he wants one, but can't bring himself to take five minutes to try. I can't get pregnant without sex. He knows this. And I'm not allowed to initiate. So... should I expect a visit from the angel Gabriel in a dream soon?

And now I am crying. I think that's probably this month's opportunity missed, as Clue predicts ovulation tomorrow.

Please appreciate your husbands and their sex drives, ladies. And their willingness to "go through the motions". I am blessed with a wonderful husband, who is so attentive and kind and strong... but I fear that his sex drive will make TTC very, very difficult. Be grateful for what you have!

@Cinderella812 Oh hun, I am sorry you're having a tough time with your DH. If it helps my DH was very similar when we started ttc. He has a fairly low sex drive these days. I had to have several teary chats with him where I asked him if he wanted to have a family and explained that if he did we had to have sex around ovulation or it wouldn't happen. I have had to remind him a few times. But as you can see from my last few posts it isn't a problem now.
I would just say to your DH that you are due to ovulate tomorrow so if he wants to have a baby you need to have sex tonight or tomorrow morning. See what he says.
It is so hard though and exhausting. I don't think the men really realise how stressful it is for us. Xx

That chart is looking good @cupcakesandglitter !!

@Cinderella812 that must be so frustrating! You might need to talk to him again and explain that it's only once a month and very few days kind of deal and missing it doesn't create children. He may say he knows about fertile windows but, I guarantee you, he's missing something. And while some people fall pregnant just by sneezing, for most others it takes six-twelve months of devoted and timely baby-dancing to conceive. So he isn't trying, there won't be a baby. Refuse to see any houses or talk baby names unless he gives you some loving!

@Cinderella812 I'm afraid I don't really have any advice but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. My dh sounds very similar to yours and doing it his way we haven't really timed it right in 5 cycles of ttc! He seems to just think it'll happen when it happens and that's fine. I'm planning on explaining the science to him a bit more and trying to get him on board with smep next cycle. Do you think that might be something you can try with your oh? xx

@starkid I'd definitely do it!! When I first started temping I think I was far too obsessed with everything TTC related, I wasn't getting enough sleep and I was drinking etc so I kept getting frustrated with the fact that my chart was all over the place 😂 this month I've chilled out a bit more about it, stopped the alcohol and going out really and my chart looks 10x better! X

@Cinderella812 sorry you're having such a tough time with it - I can relate because my DH was the same, his sex drive completely went! Turns out he was really really depressed and not happy with himself, and it took a while for him to see that 'rejecting' me was lowering my self esteem. We worked on helping him feel better, and we've actually had the best sex of our lives recently (DHs sex drive was massively lowered for about two years - please don't take this as a brag btw I'm just trying to show there's a silver lining that I never ever expected). In society we're told how much men always have these super high sex drives but actually it's not the case - mine is way bigger than DH's, and that's normal. Please try not to let yourself get too upset over it, it's not going to help you either... maybe have a proper chat with DH and ask him what he wants to do? Sending hugs, it's a difficult situation ❤️ xx

Thanks @FlapJackered I just hope it's not a blip 😂😂😂 x

@Cinderella812 so sorry your having a tough time. 💕

I'm with @cupcakesandglitter on this one I've always had a much higher sex drive them my DP, sometimes I feel like the only one trying! Things got much better once we started talking about it more 😊 I appreciate you've done that and several things won't work for your DP like seducing him, but maybe just have a stern word that there is a small window of opportunity to get pregnant and it's not gonna happen without his commitment! X

Test is lighter today so I’m pretty sure it’s a chemical :( . GP says I can have a blood test Thursday but I don’t think I’ll even get a positive by then so will probably cancel it tomorrow.

Still getting nausea and dizziness today. Appetite is all over the place. Boobs went up a cup size. But I’m peeing less today. I only bled for 48 hours (stopped now), and it really was not painful. The odd mild period type cramp and some backache. So I don’t know whether I should expect to bleed again, expect pain, or what. Early pregnancy aren’t much help, and I can’t get an appointment with an actual GP until next week as are fully booked.

@Keyboard91

I know it's hard but try to stay positive! Fx for you.

My Google searching has resulted in this helpful info - at least if I come on at the end of January I'll know I'm in the 90% who have menses return, although I know that's not necessarily an indication of ovulation.

@Keyboard91 so sorry 😩 I'd still have the blood test next week anyway, just in case. Try not to worry yourself too much though, what CD are you? X

@Cindarella812 so sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down with the whole situation, it’s sounds a difficult and sensitive situation and I think sometimes we forget that mean can be sensitive too. But I think, as some of the other ladies have suggested, you will just need to sit down and have a chat with him to get things on track. Sending lots of love.

@Keyboard91 sending lots of good luck vibes your way, I would deffo keep your appointment for the blood test.

@Keyboard91 I hope all turns out ok for you, this must be really difficult for you.

@Cindarella812 I agree with the other ladies. Trying for a baby is a joint effort, unfortunately men don't realise how difficult it can be to actually get pregnant. You need to support each other and DTD sometimes isn't just about making a baby, it's for you both as well as corny as that sounds. I totally agree with @FlapJackered

For some reason this week has been a total struggle to not POAS. I don't know if that's because I feel like this has been a decent cycle since my MC or if it's because I bought lots of tests 🙈

@DayDreamer1707 it's so hard not to! I did on a cheaply this morning but got a BFN but I am only 5-6 DPO so being stupid really. Got a dull ache low down in my tummy today? I don't know I need to stop pretend symptom spotting and just let it be!

@DayDreamer1707 I'm really struggling to not POAS... according to Flo, I'm 3 days late. I POAS on Saturday and it was a BFN. Absolutely no sign of AF! I don't know how long to leave it before POAS again!

@MrsR16 - how many DPO are you? I'd be struggling too in your shoes! Do you know how long your luteal phase usually is?