TTC after Miscarriage

[pandaobsessed]

Hi ladies,

I suffered a silent miscarriage end of October and was just looking to start a thread for ladies in a similar position to me, who are trying to conceive at the moment. Would be lovely to have some support and guidance.

xx

I'm so sorry @pandaobsessed you've been through two losses. That's such bad luck as I've found one to be utterly traumatising. As I understand statistically having two is often just be one of those things. It's so difficult to comprehend how something so devastating can randomly happen twice. I really hope you get your bfp soon. Xx

Hi ladies
@Catconfusion welcome to the thread and hope you have good news this month!

@pandaobsessed thank you for your message. It does sound like we have almost identical stories! I'm glad to have come away with my family, this second loss so soon after the 1st has been heartbreaking so being away is a welcome distraction. The bleeding has stopped for couple of days now and I'm not sure if that's the end of the miscarriage or not but I have a scan next week to confirm.
Like you I'm also blessed with a 20mth son so I am trying to not let myself sink too low etc. I think we will also try again quite soon, I hope that for both of us it's third time lucky and you have good news this month🤞🤞XxxxX

Thanks @Gpmg84 I did have very good news but unfortunately it was very short-lived. Just after I joined this thread I got my BFP. I had lots of pregnancy symptoms and line progression my my FRER tests. I was excited but a little scared as straight after my MMC. The midwife reassured me I didn't have an increased risk of another loss.

Unfortunately over the weekend I've had severe cramping so I did another FRER which confirmed my fears. I got the very faintest of positives compared with my earlier tests so looks like another very early loss (hate the word chemical).

I'm trying to look on the bright side that I have fallen pregnant straight away twice now but just hoping I don't have a problem making them stick.

I'm looking forward to being part of this thread! xx

@Catconfusion I'm so sorry to hear this. Have you had any bleeding or done another test? How are you feeling this week?
I have a follow up scan tomorrow. I haven't actually miscarried yet so I assume they will book me in for a d&c. I keep hoping for a miracle that they got the last scan wrong and they'll see a heart beat tomorrow. But I know rationally this isn't going to happen.
Hope everyone else is doing ok? X

Hi @Gpmg84 I spoke to my GP who has said to expect to bleed soon. She thinks my lining wasn't thick enough after the surgery to support a new embryo. We were told at the time we could try straight away. It's now put us back a step as doc says wait two cycles to let the lining build up again. If we'd known there was a risk of this happening we wouldn't have tried so soon as very distressing for this to happen. I'm not bleeding just very sore pelvis area with some cramps.

Good luck for tomorrow. I too clung to some hope until that final scan. It's completely understandable and hard to let go, especially if you still feel pregnant. It's such a horrible time and I hope your EPU are supportive, the staff are normally fantastic. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

My advice would be if you do have an ERPC/d&c is to wait until a period before trying again. I really wish I had now.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow! Xx

Hi @Catconfusion it's so tough isn't it. All this waiting! It just feels never ending. I have asked my docs / nurses several times about how long to wait and they always say there's no need to wait as long as you feel ready emotionally. It's so confusing isn't it!

So I had the scan and there has been a little growth and there is also a very faint and irregular heart beat. I immediately got my hopes up but have been told emphatically that this is a really really faint and not positive heart beat. The sac is also an abnormal shape.
As there is a heart beat though I'm not eligible for surgery so the waiting continues.
The nurse said that they were not expecting to see anything after my last scan and that it is an unusual situation.

I did ask again (for what must be the 100th time) if there is any reason to wait a few cycles before trying and again was told that no. Evidence shows it's better to start trying as soon as you feel ready. Doesn't matter how many times i hear that though I still can't help worrying we tried too soon.

Oh my goodness @Gpmg84 I'm so sorry. What a difficult position to be in. Not much hope but that glimmer of the heartbeat. I'm not sure I could have coped. My first baby never had a heartbeat and if it did was very fleeting before my ultrasound at 6 weeks 1 day. I've always consoled myself with the fact she/he was never truly alive. This must be so hard. My thoughts are with you.

Interesting they've told you to try again straight away when I've just been told I tried too soon. Honestly if I was you I'd wait for that first period. I'm bleeding now and I feel it's what my body needed to do and maybe why my second baby didn't stick.

Can I ask how many cycles did you have before you fell again? Did you feel completely back to normal? I would say this is unlikely to be because you tried too soon. I'm not sure a baby would implant like that if the environment wasn't right. Statistics seem to show that we are more fertile after a miscarriage. Most miscarriages are sadly due to chromosomal issues.

Please keep us posted on how you're doing. When will you go back? Support is here for you when you need it. Take care! Xx

Thank you @Catconfusion. I am finding it hard to get my head around. I do keep hoping that the heartbeat will 'pick up' despite the doctors being almost certain that this will end in miscarriage.
I go back for another scan next Friday 29th... Such an emotional
rollercoaster.

Currently experiencing morning sickness and exhaustion which really doesn't help! 🤢

Previously the doctors suggested waiting for one period before trying again to me. they said this would help with dating / understanding where you are in your cycle.
I had a d&c last November and my period started late December. I then conceived in February (I used OvuSense to help track ovulation) so I had a couple of cycles in between.

How are you doing / feeling? X

Hi @Gpmg84 I'm so sorry for the delay. I got sent to hospital last night by my GP. She suspected this recent early miscarriage was an ectopic pregnancy. Luckily it wasn't but there was so much drama. Glad I got to see the on duty gynaecologist. A young guy but really good at his job so glad I got checked over.

I'm so sorry you've having such an awful time. Are they supportive at your EPAU? I bet time is dragging and you just want to know. I had awful nausea too with my mmc. It's just so cruel to feel those pregnancy symptoms in this situation. Once I knew my baby wasn't progressing I got a prescription for anti sick medication. Is this something you could do? Have you got a good support network? I can imagine it's really hard going through this again. I'm here if you want to chat and I'll help if I can.

The doctor I saw last night had a really good take on trying again. He said it's absolutely fine to try straight away. Don't worry about dating as the first scan will do that. Some women will go back to normal very soon after surgery and some need a cycle or two to ovulate and get back in to normal periods. He thinks some women are more vulnerable to having chemical pregnancies after an ERPC because the lining might not be fully recovered. There is nothing dangerous about having a chemical pregnancy but it might be distressing having just had a mmc. It's best if you try again to only do a pregnancy test when a period is missed to ensure the embryo has got past implantation. Some women might not like the thought of another early loss so might want to wait a couple of cycles to make sure they are fully recovered.

I really wish the EPAU had told me this. It does make sense. They just say you're no more likely to have another loss which isn't strictly true.

Anyway I do hope you're getting some rest and are able to keep as positive as possible! Xx

@Catconfusion you poor thing! That must have been so scary having to go into the hospital with suspected ectopic. Glad they were thorough though and the doctor was really helpful.
How are you feeling this weekend?

I'm definitely having a low day today. The nausea and exhaustion is just getting on top of me, that combined with a couple of unhelpful people saying 'maybe this is a sign you're not meant to get pregnant again' making me feel so low - I just want to sleep all the time!! I'm going to see my GP on Monday to see if they'll give me something for the nausea (thank you for that tip!). I do have support around me but I find that talking on here / to others that have been through the same the most helpful.

That's v interesting what the doctor told you about trying again etc. It makes a lot of sense doesn't it. Right now I'm not sure what we will do after this but it's good to have the right information to make a decision with!

Hope you're bearing up ok.
Xx

@Gpmg84 yeah it was really scary but I'm so relieved. It's made me feel a bit better about our situation. I'm ok thanks. We're away for a family party and that was a bit tough as everyone seemed to have kids so lots of awkward conversations I.e. asking if we think we'll have them. We're newly weds so seems to be a regularly asked question.

I'm so sorry you're feeling low and can completely understand why. It's a very upsetting time. Really horrible you've been told you're not meant to be pregnant again. Of course you're meant to be pregnant. That's why your body has worked so hard to support this baby. I feel like it's just a tragic accident when the conception doesn't result in a healthy pregnancy. It's not because it's not meant to be or wasn't your time just the genetic make-up wasn't quite right. Conception isn't an exact science and you've been very unlucky. I do hope you're getting better support from other people in your life.

I'm so glad MN is helping you. I've found it helpful too to chat to people. We're all helping each other because we understand how painful it is.

Definitely get some anti-sick tablets from your GP. Mine is doing some tests on DH and I to check our general fertility. It might be worth asking if you can have some tests too.

I meant to say I use Ovusense as well. I've found it really helpful.

I do hope the doctor is wrong and your baby is just developing a bit slower than expected. Keep me posted on how you are are.

Take care and just rest up when you need to. Better times will come eventually but for now all you can do is look after yourself! Xx

Hi all. I had 3 mcs last year (had DS in 2017). Just had a scan, 12-13w & ok so far, but I just cannot relax/enjoy it, if anything feel more on edge? Am really emotional and have ended up spontaneously crying about 5 times today. Anyone else get this?

@Catconfusion I totally understand what you mean about people asking if/ when you're going to have a baby. It's not meant maliciously but is so insensitive 😡!
Hope you're having an ok week?
I started spotting yesterday and today am cramping so looks like things are changing for me. If it gets worse I'll call the EPU but don't expect they'll see me until my scan on Friday anyhow.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland welcome
To the thread and congrats on your pregnancy! That's fabulous. I'm not surprised your on edge, when I discovered I was pregnant after my first mmc I was terrified every time I went to the loo in case there was bleeding. The fact you have reached 12 weeks is fantastic!
Did they ever do any tests / work out what lead to your 3 mmc? I also had my ds in 2017 and so far have had 2 mmc, one in Nov and having my second at the moment.
Wishing you so much luck with your pregnancy, your not alone with the anxiety so definitely post on here as much as you like! X

Hey ladies how are you doing? Sorry to hear things haven't been going so well for some of you. We are here to support each other 😊 And welcome to the thread those who have recently joined.

I'm currently two cycles on from my last miscarriage, which ended real early at five weeks - had surgical management for my first miscarriage in Nov where I lost the baby at 11weeks. I also have a DS born in 2017 😊

@Gpmg84 I'm doing ok thanks. I'm CD10 so deciding if we'll try this month after my chemical pregnancy last month. I've just been diagnosed with stress related IBS so trying to work out a fertility friendly diet plan that won't aggregate my stomach.

How is the spotting/cramping today? I guess it could be your body starting to move things along naturally. Did you speak to EPU? I got some slight cramping and spotting which prompted my first scan yet everything was complete apart from no heartbeat. It's so difficult as these symptoms can be normal in a healthy pregnancy. I do hope you're doing ok. Let us know how tomorrow goes. I'll be thinking of you! Xx

Hi @pandaobsessed I'm now in a similar boat to you with my mmc and now chemical pregnancy. These were my first pregnancies though. How are you feeling after your two cycles? Does your body feel recovered? Xx

Welcome @NoIDontWatchLoveIsland and I can completely understand your anxiety. A good friend of mine felt the same after loss. She's only started to relax a bit now she's had the 20 week scan. Just do your best to relax and don't be hard on yourself if you have a bad day. Your chances of something going wrong are very slim at this point but you've been through pregnancy related trauma so totally normal to feel afraid. Good luck and keep us posted! Xx

Hi ladies
I am still spotting and cramping so I expect they will say the heart beat has stopped at tomorrow's scan .
I'm totally confused over what to do re d&c or not. Apparently the risks of scarring are higher with more than one d&c (this is my second), I'm already paranoid about my fertility so don't really want to add to that. But I also know that sometimes mmc don't happen in full and you end up having a d&c anyway plus the waiting is torture. Agh!
@pandaobsessed good to hear from you and that your cycles have returned to normal. Wishing you luck for the next cycle!
@Catconfusion Poor you with the ibs, last thing you need! I'be had a bad eczema flare up which is also due to stress, haven't had one in years!
I'll let you know after the scan tomorrow.
Let's hope for some good news on here soon!!
Xxxx

I'm so sorry to hear that @Gpmg84 I'm not sure what to say about having a second procedure. Hopefully you can speak to a doctor about it. I was told the chances of scarring were very slim but not sure after two. I guess it's weighing up the risks with your wellbeing. I have to say I think I'd have the procedure again but it's such an individual choice. I hope it goes ok and I'm here tomorrow if you need to chat.Take care! Xx

Thanks @Catconfusion sadly the scan confirmed the worst. Baby showing about 6 weeks when should be 9 and no heartbeat.
I'm going in tomorrow for a medically induced miscarriage. They give me something that should encourage my body to start the miscarriage process. Sounds like it's going to a be a long hard day and I may need to stay in overnight but hopefully at the end of it I won't feel so paranoid about scarring etc and we can start to move on a little from this whole painful process. X

I'm so sorry to hear that @Gpmg84 It's such bad luck. At least when the weekend is done it'll be over and they'll be no waiting for surgery. It's so difficult to know how a medical induction will go but I think you're wise to be admitted to hospital.They can control the pain if need be. I do hope the recovery is quick for you. You've had such a terrible time. I'm hoping it'll be third time lucky for you. Take care and let us know how you are! Xx

So sorry for loss @Gpmg84
Hope tomorrow isn’t too bad.
Sending you lots of love 💕

Hello I’m new to mumsnet and this thread but have found it so helpful to read others stories. Feel a little bit less alone.
We started TTC at the end of last year after coming off the pill. No success in first two months and (as a natural born worrier) I got really concerned when after ovulation my period seemed to arrive in under a week which suggested I’d never have a chance. Then in my third month I got my bfp! I couldn’t quite believe it! Unfortunately I miscarried around 5 and a half weeks. Doctors refused to confirm the pregnancy when I found out and then said it was too early to see me during my miscarriage.
Now thinking about ttc again but I’ve convinced myself my earlier issues with my luteal phase and my miscarriage were caused by low progesterone! I know they say one miscarriage doesn’t increase your chances of another but I’m almost afraid to try without having this looked at. Problem is
I’m 99% sure my doctors won’t listen if I can even get an appointment! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

@CLLN2310 I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost three now and I was also convinced mine is due to low progesterone too. NHS will usually only test for anything after three, sadly. I'm pregnant again now and I'm terrified of anything happening, but I went to my GP to ask about progesterone supplements and she said it 'wasn't policy'.

I understand why you are reluctant to try again, but it really is much more likely that you'll succeed than have another loss. But obviously it's very personal and only you know what's best for you. If you want answers I think I'd go private if I were you. Although that could be very expensive.

Some report success with self medication of vitamin B6 and baby aspirin, but it's not proven to work and didn't work for me last time.

So sorry I can't be of more help

@jacquesjacques I have considered going private but many seem to offer ultrasounds but not blood tests for progesterone. No doubt they would be willing if I’m paying I guess. Might send an enquiry. It’s difficult because although I could go private for tests treatment privately would not be possible financially so unless I could take those answers to the NHS it may not help. Peace of mind I guess. Sorry to hear you have gone through 3. That’s my fear going through more experiences of miscarriage to eventually find that 8 I knew the problem all along!

@jacquesjacques how many weeks are you now? It must be such a worrying time given what you have been though but hope you're keeping positive. Have you had a reassurance scan? Xx

@Gpmg84 I'm 7 weeks today. We saw a heartbeat at 5+4 but it's not much comfort as my last one was a mmc after having seen a heartbeat at 5+3 (thought I was 6+3 but baby measured a week behind), it only grew for a week after that but I didn't know until 11+6.

So I'm just counting down the days until 8+4 when I've got my next scan. It's mental torture!

The only thing keeps me positive is that my first two were at 4w and 4+5 so classed as chemicals - which are much more common I think?