TTC after Miscarriage

[pandaobsessed]

Hi ladies,

I suffered a silent miscarriage end of October and was just looking to start a thread for ladies in a similar position to me, who are trying to conceive at the moment. Would be lovely to have some support and guidance.

xx

@Em39ma good luck❤️

We could try again next month, and I'm battling myself to be sensible and wait.

We have our first appointment with the recurrent miscarriage clinic on 20 March, but there's this little voice inside me that says the first two chemicals were so early they could have just been luck of the draw, and then were unfortunately followed by a miscarriage. I see so many stories online of people having multiple losses and then going on to have a successful pregnancy straight away. But the other voice is telling me that three losses in a row, no matter how early, is probably indicative of something wrong.

If we wait, we could be waiting months - as I believe they tell you not to TTC while they are completing the tests. If we try again and are successful, they won't see me (and I'd be about 5 weeks by the appointment) - but what if I lose it a week later?

Sorry for the mind waffle... just feel a bit stuck.

@Kelpies thank you. I'm keeping my chin up 😊 my son has croup at the moment so he's keeping my mind off things. Where in your cycle are you? If it's before AF, a negative doesn't mean anything yet 🤞🏻

@Em39ma I have my fingers crossed for you too 🤞🏻 hopefully this TWW isn't too long for you!

@glowingtwigs I hate how our bodies seem to give us fake-symptoms related to pregnancy when we are most looking to get pregnant. You getting symptoms at the moment?

@lnfb I'm doing much better thank you 💕

@pandaobsessed I'm glad you're managing to keep your mind off things and hope your little boy is ok!
I'm 8dpo today and I've had a digging feeling sort of middle left - really sharp a few times, sort of like a scratchy feeling from the inside. Had it on and off all day. But it probably means nothing at all because along with that I've had a dull headache which is typical of me this time in my cycle and my boobs aren't that sore.
Trying not to overthink things but I just imagine how I would feel if I saw that second line again and I get so excited at the thought but then depressed that it's so much more likely not to happen than happen.

I had a hot flash last night in bed at 6-7 days soo. Is that a good sign?

@Luxembourgmama I'm not too sure tbh. I don't do the temping thing so not sure what different temps mean throughout cycle.
Fingers crossed it's a sign.

I'm 9-10dpo and I caved this morning and took a test (frer) - BFN. I know it's still early but aren't they super sensitive so it should pick up HCG by now? Feeling depressed. Been at this for over a year now. :-( I've now got a crampy feeling in my lower abdomen, PMS is going to be at a peak this month, I can tell. :-( AF due 14/15 Feb

Had an MC in July and still TCCing. starting to feel like it's not suppose to happen but i really want it to

@katesaavy. I know it's so so hard but please don't lose hope. I found myself feeling such a mixture of emotions TTC after my miscarriage. It will happen. Hugs xx

Anyone else utterly sick at heart of this ttc business? Hand holds to you all. I think I'm out (again); am getting the clumpy cm that I get a day or so before AF but STILL planning on blowing £10 on a CB early test just because I love Poas so much and being disappointed.
This is the 6th cycle after mc and even though Dh says it will, I feel like it's never going to happen again now I'm six months older and 38 now. I'm never symptom spotting ever again after this- I really thought I had implantation pain this month.
Anyone want to give me a good talking to and lift me out of this?

@glowingtwigs
Sending you lots and lots of hugs. It is so so hard. Also, symptom spotting is torture and from my experience pointless as it is related to progesterone levels which rise post ovulation regardless of whether fertilisation has occurred or not. Please be kind to yourself, I was the same about POAS but try and make an agreement with yourself for not testing until X days after AF due. That worked for me and then I just tried to keep distracted. The added emotional torture of previous loss does nothing to help us on our journey. Spend the £10 you want to spend on an early test on a nice bath bomb and some chocolate and treat yourself today. xx

Ah @lnfb thank you for your kind message. It's hard to decide whether Poas is worse than waiting it out, not sure whether to get the disappointment out of the way in 5 short minutes! Anyhow, I've resisted buying any for now and it helps that we are away for a week now in the Peak District (trying to relax haha). 1 day until AF is supposedly supposed to arrive and apparently 12 DPO tomorrow so short luteal phase.
I've had lots of twingy feelings down below and keep flicking back on my app to see if these were the same last time I was pregnant, it's so hard not to obsess.
I've read back the thread, congratulations on your pregnancy- it really does give me hope when other ladies have conceived after m/c, I've just been feeling like my body is 'broken' since as I've had a weird pain under my pubic bone since that I never had before... did you experience anything like that? Xx

@glowingtwigs I totally hear you. I've tried to think long and hard about the months that I've been pregnant and the months I'm not and I've decided... there is no difference. The symptoms are identical. It is the most frustrating thing. We will get there. I'm 38 too been TTC baby no 2 for over a year now in that year I've had 2 MMCs and 2 CPs. I hear so often "at least you fall pg" and "at least you have DS" and don't get me wrong there is some truth in both those things but this still totally sucks and I don't want to hear it anymore. I just want to be pregnant, throwing my guts up with morning sickness and moaning about it but in the comfort that baby will be fine. I know it will happen at some point. We just need to KBO. And have the odd glass or 2 of wine until it happens.. oh and chocolate 🍫 🍷;-) big hugs

@glowingtwigs Awww thank you. I know everyone says it but your time will come and I really hope that it is very soon. I am sending your way lots & lots of baby dust

I'm going to be 38 next month too. We're TTC no 11 months now with two MC

Thank you, oh thank you @lnfb you sound similar to me- I'm anxious and get worked up about things... feel like the last 8 months of ttc and mc have been the worst of my life and not even been married a year- it's supposed to be the happiest time. And I feel guilty about my DH that we haven't just been able to be carefree.
It really really does help to read your words and to think that my time will come again. Really hope it's soon. Xxx

@Newbie21 yes, a bit of wine and just gobbled up a choc eclair and some malteaser bunnies in hotel bed while watching the BAFTAs!
I'm sorry you're having a hard time of it too, that's a lot of losses. But 38 really isn't old is it? Not really. Just trying to keep positive but it's so hard as can see not nice tests looming as now been over 6 months since mc and that makes me even more anxious xx

@glowingtwigs I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this, please don't feel guilty about your DH. He will understand and just want to be there for you and will be excited to become a daddy.
Anxiety can protect us in lots of ways but I know it can become consuming. I hope you can find strategies that work for you to reduce anxiety and that the time you spend on your break is very rejuvenating. I'm getting better at switching off but it does rear its head sometimes when least expected. You have an amazing pregnancy journey ahead of you just around the corner

Oh my goodness @lnfb @Newbie21 I'm shaking but look...

DH is down at the spa. Oh my god, I can't believe it! I'm pregnant!!!
Going to try and enjoy this moment before the anxiety sets in. AF due tomorrow so please everyone cross your fingers that this is a sticky one for me. Xxx

@glowingtwigs Wow, huge congratulations!!! So happy for you! That's such a strong line too. Keeping everything crossed for you that this is super super sticky!! Your DH will be so pleased. I know how anxiety inducing it can be but please try and enjoy it and make the most out of your relaxing week too honey

Woohoo @glowingtwigs that's amazing news. Fingers and toes crossed for you that this one stays put happy and healthy for the next 9 months xx

@glowingtwigs congratulations!!!!!

That's a lovely strong line @glowingtwigs - congratulations! I have everything crossed for you that this little one sticks. X

@glowingtwigs that's amazing news!!! Congratulations! So happy for you and your DH x

Thank you so much everyone @Kelpies @jacquesjacques @chocolatecake08 @Newbie21 @lnfb

Trying to enjoy the moment and it's nice we are on a little holiday. But (TMI) I've had some light brown spotting in the night just when I wipe - it's sort of like cm but brown. Period was due today and I'm pretty regular since m/c. I did have this in the last pregnancy very early on but it settled down after a day or so, although obviously I still miscarried 8 days later.

Anything on the internet says it could be a CP or it could be implantation and the baby getting nice and snug... so now I'm just feeling anxious. Got some twingy feelings as well but not like when AF usually starts, I wouldn't call them cramps. And I'm pretty sure I felt implantation this month over several days- like a scratchy tingling feeling inside. Yesterday, after a fairly vigorous walk (before I tested) I had another really sharp pain in the same place. So maybe it's implantation or my body getting rid of old blood.

Any soothing words would be appreciated, I want to keep this baby so much. xxx