35+ TTC#1 Thread 5

[BambiOnIce80]

New Year, new thread! 🍾🥂

Basically: a wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the TTC journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Here's hoping 2019 brings some BFP luck to us all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

@BambiOnIce80 sorry to hear the pressure is getting to your DP. I have to be really careful with this with my partner too as he backs off if put under too much pressure too. We had to stop for six months when he started his last job and I had literally given up by the time he felt up for it again. However, you might find your partner finds his mojo again sooner than planned just by knowing you are actively taking a break. But even so, one month is nothing in the grand scheme of what you've endured already, so enjoy your TTC holiday! I've enjoyed the months off where I knew we had no chance as I'd be working away. Might as well roll with it.

Congratulations @Russkispy that's a turn up for the books. Hope it all goes well for you!

I'm 8dpo and feel exactly the same as I always do at this point of my cycle and my chart looks exactly the same as the last couple of months. I don't even feel the urge to symptom spot or test early this month. I think I've completely given up hope! No bad thing really, it is what it is.

@CNizzle good luck with the lap, I hope you get some answers. That sounds awful.

Congratulations @Russkispy ! Wonderful news

It seems I've missed some BFPs! Congratulations @Russkispy @pinkywoo and @pattyhoo!

@pinkywoo - if you don't mind me asking, how many cycles have you been trying / how old are you?

I had a hycosy yesterday which was suggested to me due to history of endo... and been given the all clear in terms of tubes. Took paracetamol and ibuprofen beforehand and was all good thankfully.

Thanks @terriwrist and I don't mind at all! I'm 38, only have one ovary (which has two cysts on) and ttc for four cycles so were very, very lucky.

Thank you lovely ladies. I'm 42 (43 in April). TTC#2. And this is cycle 7 post missed miscarriage. Going for beta test on Tuesday and Thursday next week.

Congrats @Russkispy! What a wonderful surprise!

Sorry for not keeping up ladies, I’ve been feeling pretty lousy lately. I’m still reading when I can!

Brilliant news! @Russkispy 🎉

Good to hear you've had digital confirmation @Pinkywoo 😊

Dh's alarm woke me up at 5.15 couldn't sleep...

Hope you start to feel better soon @Kescilly

Glad you're feeling OK after your hyscopy @terriwrist and that you got the all clear.

@Russkispy congratulations 💐💐💐that's fantastic news. What's a beta scan?

@BambiOnIce80 glad you and DP had a heart to heart and your relationship is strong enough to have these chats. Just because he needs a break, it doesn't mean there will be no sex 😉

@79andnotout symptom spotting and early testing are the 2 no-no in my book. Things happen when you least expect 😉🤔

CD42 today and still no sign of AF... 🤷‍♀️. I'm starting to think it's menopause...

@QuantumGirl, from what you've described I'm still pinning my bet on an annovulatory cycle. Hoping AF won't be MIA for much longer 🤞🏻🍀

Thanks for the support and sharing your similar experiences with me ladies ❤️ DP has a spring in his step this morning (presumably because a weight has been lifted 😔), whereas I had a 💩 night's sleep and am barely functional this morning 😒 Think it's stirred up a lot of unpleasant memories from TTC with the ex that I thought were dead and buried until DP's break request yesterday... Why is life so bloody complicated?! 😣

At least the sun is shining and the birds are singing 🌞🙄

Hi lovely ladies. It's been a while for me since I've posted here. I'm back on track with my positive thinking, feeling good about conceiving this cycle, everything will be perfectly timed, I'm expecting bfp this month as I believe all is good for a healthy conception. I'm sending out good vibes for us all. I'm on cycle day 9 today. We've already started sexy time every other day. I'm looking forward to 'enjoying the ride' and I'm relaxed about my life in general as I just know and trust that it will happen and I'm letting it myself be happy now. I've been doing ovulation test every morning so I'll know when I ovulate this cycle. All good things are happening, I just know it. 😘

@Guaccamole love it!! I can feel your positivity ❤
It's spurred me on to be positive this cycle too! The pains of AF are behind me, and hopefully being resolved with the lap this week. Then it's onto FW with clear tubes and high hopes 🤞

I'm also going to go out for a run tomorrow too.

Thought I'd try a clearblue digital test with weeks indicator. Well it said Not Pregnant! Then I took a FRER right after and the line was still there but slightly lighter. Guess the fancy clearblue is not that sensitive and I'm not even 3 weeks? And why FRER shows a a lighter line? I've been feeling queasy all day today. And won't let those tests mess with my head. Booked blood tests on Friday and Monday. Till then, ill just get on with it.

Evening ladies. It’s nice to hear the positivity bursting out of you @Guaccamole and @CNizzle I’ll be needing some of that!

@BambiOnIce80 sorry you are feeling rubbish 💐. Maybe DP finding that spring in his step will soon lead to feeling more positive about himself and then ttc?

@Russkispy how bizarre. How late are you again? 🤞 that line gets stronger xx

Well I’m CD32 and not a bloody sausage of a symptom, I think I ovulated last Tuesday. I had a few cramps yesterday but putting it down to af slowly rearring her ugly head!

DP seems to live in his own world these days too and because we actually had sex more than the select few times this cycle he can’t help but make symptom spotting worse by asking every 5 seconds if I feel pregnant 🙄 and doesn’t seem understand why I wouldn’t be!

we DTD from cd7-cd19, every other day and mornings only before going to work!
1st day LMP 13/01
Average cycle 27 days
Expected period 9 or 10 January - BFN (cd 28 and 29)
Cd30-33 all BFN (using cheapie strips)
Cd34-35 not tested
Cd36 today - using FRER - BFP
Been feeling slightly nauseous throughout the day yesterday and today.
When I tried online calculators based on the above, they all said I'm 5 weeks pregnant today. But that's based on my LMP and yet I only got BFP yesterday, cd36
Somebody mentioned that those fancy digital tests only detected if your HCG is over 50ml/u. I'm not testing again and going for bloods on Friday to get a clearer picture.

@QuantumGirl I'm a terrible early tester but determined not to this month. Think I can feel AF on her way now though. Due tomorrow. I reckon @BambiOnIce80 is right and it is just one of those annovulatory cycles. I think I had a couple of those when I came off the pill, my cycles were occasionally much longer. Hope it shows up soon.

@Russkispy yeah leave the tests, the blood tests over a few days will tell you all you need to know.

Nice positivity @Guaccamole and @CNizzle I need some of that right now!

@BambiOnIce80 sorry to hear how down you are. You're usually so upbeat. We're all entitled to wallow so just go with it. I'm sure it's not history repeating itself but book yourself some counselling sooner rather than later if it is all feeling like too much.

Thank you @Carley32 and @79andnotout 💖 You're all so lovely! ☺️ I've ended up having a surprisingly good day - mostly because I forgot how massively productive I get at work when I'm in a bit of a state at home! Today, I have been the Queen of getting 💩 done 👑 😄 Excellent timing too because we have an inspection at the end of next month (see - the glass half full mentality is creeping back in 🍷😉).

Not wanting to go down the rabbit hole too much, but just to fill in the blanks a bit... My relationship with my ex got particularly horrible (I know - who'd've thought it given we got divorced 🙄). The problem DP and I are having is different, but it's similar in some ways and that's causing me to revisit none too pleasant memories, if you see what I mean? Pre yesterday's heart to heart with DP, our sex drives measured up pretty nicely (neither of us are sex fiends, but DTD 4-5 times a month whilst TTC had been manageable). Mine and my exs sex drives didn't measure up. At. All. He would quite happily DTD twice a day if he got the opportunity, whereas I absolutely couldn't manage it - even for the sake of TTC! I guess he felt quite rejected by that, but it also meant that if I tried to initiate DTD he would know it was fertile week and he'd get angry with me and we wouldn't DTD (vicious circle, anyone?! 😣). DP isn't getting angry (at all), but I guess he's also onto me if I don't tell him it's FW, but I try to initiate sex he'll know it's bloody FW because of my irritatingly low sex drive! 😞 The particularly unpleasant memories that this is making me revisit (just because it makes me think about the ex) is how the ex would pester me into sex, even when I really didn't want to. I hasten to add that there was absolutely no violence involved whatsoever, but having sex when your just not into it (which happened an awful lot) wasn't something I wanted to get stuck in a trap dwelling on again 😒

Sorry if this has been total over share 😣 I know we're pretty open on here under the veil of anonymity and just wanted to get it all out, I guess... sorry again if this is totally inappropriate! 😳 Getting it all out really has helped!

@BambiOnIce80 it's quite nice that you feel you can be honest and confide in us. I can relate to your problem on a different level, for different reason and what I was taught was to remember they are different people. If your DP isn't angry with you for initiating sex only in FW then mostly likely he understands you and your needs and is happy to make you happy.

In my industry I work with a lot of men and some of them talk about their wives wanting sex just to get pregnant. From their point of view they feel used because on a normal situation their wives aren't affectionate, there are no kisses, no cuddles, no appreciation, just robotic sex and that's when they feel used. From what you tell us about your relationship, you and your DP are far from it and don't forget he has experience of ttc with his ex, he knows how stressful it can be and he feels so comfortable talking to you about it that he even asked for a short break. It's great that you can have a heart to heart with him and if you feel it's right perhaps you could even tell him about your fears of the past. It might lift a huge weight off your shoulders 😘

I don’t think anything would ever be an over share on this chat @BambiOnIce80 I love that we are all comfortable enough to share. That’s what this thread is all about after all.

That doesn’t sound to nice, before ttc me and DP has a very limited sex life (it just seemed to get worse and worse over the years) and then confidence started to get affected and just ended up a vicious cycle. I had a very low libido too (although it is a little better after stopping the pill) But since ttc, it has in a way helped us have to deal with the issues we’ve swept under the carpet for many years. And we are still far from perfect and old issues still hang around. But I supposed when you are a strong team you work through them together 💐.

I’m sure you won’t get stuck into a trap again. You seem to have a strong and positive relationship. Try not to let old anxiety’s rear their ugly heads. Maybe this mini break is actually exactly what you need. ❤️

Good luck with making sense of my grammar. I never reread when I’m on my phone. Bloody predictive txt is finally being turned OFF! 😡

We are in the same boat, @Carley32. TTC has improved our sex life. Neither of us have any libido anymore and are well and truly looking forward to the pipe and slippers phase while doing the sudoku! Good communication is the key to relationships and sounds like yours is fine, @BambiOnIce80.

@carley32 I was the same. Low libido on the pill. No-one really tells you contraceptive works by putting you off sex! Looking back, that was causing lots of issues in our relationship. Being hormone-free coincided with moving house & a few other life changes but we've been much happier in general & much more dtd. I'm very sure most of it was as a result of the pill. And I'd be hesitant to ever go back even though periods are the absolute bain of my life!
@bambionice80 its really good that you've got that communication with your dp. It's a real testament to a good relationship. Give him a big hug, you both deserve it xx

It’s good to hear we’re not alone @CNizzle and @79andnotout I don’t think I’ll ever go back on it. Iv heard so many negative things about it since I’ve stopped. Even my mood is different Since stopping, I still worry and have quite bad anxiety but compared to the absolute mess I was before I am so much happier.