35+ TTC#1 Thread 5

[BambiOnIce80]

New Year, new thread! 🍾🥂

Basically: a wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the TTC journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Here's hoping 2019 brings some BFP luck to us all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

@BambiOnIce80 I think some IVF clinics do a deal with unlimited cycles within a time frame with some sort of refund if none work. It's more expensive than a single cycle but it might be better in the long run. Worth looking at different clinics.

I've not tried this, but I discovered it while doing some late night googling 🤨

Oooh, fingers-crossed you get your peak before the skiing trip @Carley321! 🤞🏻🍀

Thanks for the "bottomless refill" of IVF tip @pattyhoo! 😂 I'm yo-yoing on an almost hourly basis about whether we should self-fund or not 🙄 I've woken up in a "not" frame of mind, but the day is young!

@Amanda81 I absolutely get the chart confusion! I've had to step away from mine for my sanity! 🤪 With a bit of distance from it, I think your pattern looks good (and still think it looks like you likely ov'd CD15) and I wouldn't give too much thought about the actual temp numbers- you could drive yourself nuts and it could be perfectly normal because of the nice pattern. I've now relaxed a bit for the oddest of reasons- my boobs got tender a couple of days ago, so definitely a high progesterone/LP sign 👍 Also very early in my cycle for this standard 'symptom', so again suggests I've ov'd early and just missed the LH surge on my OPK's because I didn't start early enough (which means I'll be maniacally POAS' from CD9 next cycle! 😏). I'd put your feet up now for the TWW 💆‍♀️

@79andnotout, yeah, me too. We were giving loads of thought to the self-funded route and getting on with IVF, but then I thought "but then I might actually get pregnant before the year is out... I'm not sure I'm ready for that!! 😰". I don't know what I want 😣 I have a weird longing for a bambino (which could just be down to my hormones 🤬ing with me), but I really, really love my life as it is (and I hope that doesn't sound conceited! 😳 It's far from perfect, but it's mine and I'm happy, is all) . A kid would very much change it- hopefully for the better but there's definitely no guarantees of that. I've met far too many people who don't sugar coat the fact that kids "ruined" their lives (sounds extreme, I know!) and the same amount that say they love their kids and wouldn't change them for the world, but it's the hardest thing they've ever done... Just not sure at all that I'm ready to pay to throw myself into something that I'm still not sure about! Luckily, I've got a few months to tie myself in knots about it before I need to make some sort of decision.

@VenusStarr, so glad you had a good self-care evening 💖 That really was excellent advice from @QuantumGirl.x

@Pinkywoo, that's interesting that stopping the antihistamines had such a positive impact on your EWCM. Sorry about the itchiness though 😔

It could just be coincidence though, who knows?!

@79andnotout how on earth did I miss your post yesterday? I had a tear in my eye, I'd love to have you as a friend too. Someone to talk about ttc, walk the dog with me, have cocktails and to teach me how to manage my uncontrollable hair ☺️. I don't mind so much living in the woods it's just that I have a loooong commute and the village people are weird (I mean neighbours not as in YMCA, they're perfectly normal 👷‍♂️👮‍♂️👨‍🌾🕺😛). If you ever find yourself in Hertfordshire do let me know ☺️.

@VenusStarr glad I could help, your evening sounds lovely. Only two more evenings till weekend. The main thing is to keep all the demons thoughts away by distracting yourself. I use Pinterest for it as there is always something new to see there like kitchens, house decor, puppies, kittens, nail colour, hair do's, aromatherapy recipes (my new thing atm) and positive sayings. It gives my mind something exciting to think about so I don't think about anything bad and it's free 😆. Glad you got an apology from the counselling clinic too so you can now start on a clean slate with them.

@Carley321 good job on the opk, just remember this is an indication only, so get cracking with DP as much as you can!

@BambiOnIce80 hope it's all going well with you 💐

Ha thanks @QuantumGirl - that sounds like fun. although the only advice I'd have about managing uncontrollable hair is to engage in acceptance. Yeah village people can be weird. Mine is full of weird people but we are all weird in similar ways, so it's fine. If you come up with any great aromatherapy recipes that might work in soap, let me know. I've started making my own and am seeking out good scent combos.

@VenusStarr - try to visualise the end point, not the journey. It will all come together eventually, babies and kitchen. Well done on getting an apology on that awful counselling session.

@BambiOnIce80 - yeah same here. I've decided I'm definitely not paying for IVF and I'm giving up at 40, and those are my lines in the sand. Fate decides. I'm spending my savings on a dormer conversion for my attic instead, with a juliette balcony looking across the peak district. Will be about the same as the three rounds of ivf my body would require to produce any bloody eggs, and I can have cocktails up there watching the sunset with my dog(s) instead.

Not sure what's going on in your chart @Amanda81. Keep temping and shagging would be my advice! See what happens to it.

@QuantumGirl what do you mean? That the surge could happen any time and I could miss it? It was strange I had a high because inhave no ewcm.
Yes I seriously have to gear myself up as I’ve had quite a manic few weeks. The routine (and exhaustion) of coming home from work, walking the pooch, bath, food, bed and flat out writhin 10 minutes needs to stop or we will never be in with a chance.

Although (snow update in Wales) I finished early from work today through weather warnings and hopefully won’t be in tomorrow either. So maybe it’s the right time to stop being a lazy cow!!

@79andnotout you seem to have a plan for all occasions and it sounds lovely.

@BambiOnIce80 it’s a very hard decision. But I’m sure one or the other will feel right to you soon enough 💐

@Carley321 I use the pink CB opk and when I get a smile it means I will ovulate. I am not sure if the purple CB is the same (if it's not then I am talking BS) but the smiley tells me it's time to crack on.

On a parallel note, I'm wondering if having sex only in FW isn't a good thing as the sperm isn't being 'renewed' enough. But sometimes it's so difficult to find the energy 😒

Weather warning here too, another day wfh 🤓😉

@79andnotout so far my aromatherapy recipes have been a disaster. I used the lemon one the other day and the house smelled like the walls had been washed with undiluted zoflora 😕. I'm still learning 🤓🙄

I have the pink one too. I used it for my last 2 cycles. I had smileys for 2 days. I bought the purple on a friends recommendations. Just having a go at anything really lol. I’ve had a few minor twinges and tested with IC but they were negative and no other symptoms.

I also read that sperm is more active when it’s ummm ‘fresher’ is that fair to say? So I’ve also worried about this but time seems to run a away with you doesn’t it!! Not that I only want to dtd FW but the routine of life usually gets The better of me and I end up enjoying sleep and Netflix more. Until of course that little smiley face appears and I actually make some effort. Sad and very bad of me but true 🙈.

I make OH relieve himself in the shower a few times in the run up to fertile week.

@QuantumGirl ha fair enough. It's all an experiment!

@79andnotout your savings plans sounds perfect 💖 I've still got a lot of thinking to do, but I think I may have exactly the same logic. I've got this deep-seated feeling that it's just not possible for me to get pregnant, so throwing money at it probably isn't going to make any difference - I'll just end up gutted that I've "wasted" the money and be left with nothing but bitterness (and I really don't want to go down that road 😔). I'd rather be left with the savings and a Chilean wine tour 🥂😉 DP has even been talking about visiting rescue centres to look at puppies if we're leaving the IVF until next year 🐶😁

@QuantumGirl, on the 'renewed' subject and only DTD in FW I've seen the results of that one to be true. When DP had his first SA done, he didn't read the instructions properly and didn't see that you shouldn't abstain for more than 7 days before giving the sample... We hadn't DTD for about 3 weeks before he went to the lab 😬 First result had low count and motility, which meant he had to repeat it to see if it was genuine. On the repeat we'd DTD 4 days before and count and motility came back in the reference range 😏 I always make sure now that we DTD the day after AF is over to get the 'dud-shot' out of the way! 😳 I like your style though @79andnotout 😂

Netflix and sleep sadly appeal to me more too unless it's FW @Carley321, so you're definitely not alone 😄

I'm so pissed off, I got a positive opk this morning but am now getting a uti, my stupid body is determined not to let me get pregnant

Ah, that sucks @Pinkywoo 😞 Why do our bodies do it too us?! So unfair! 💐

Well. I woke up to a temp drop this morning and, sure enough, AF has just shown up (pretty light, but my endometrial lining has had bugger all time to build up!) 😒 That's a 20 day cycle, so looks like my app wasn't so screwy pinning ovulation at CD9 after all! 😕 This cycle certainly gets the award for shortest cycle ever in my 28 year history of AF 🏆😰 I'm hoping the explanation is as simple as the stress of the bereavement, but I guess it could be the maca root (been taking it about a month now) or it could be my old nemesis perimenopause beginning to rear it's head 😖 Think I'm going to keep on the Maca Root for the next cycle to hopefully rule it out, and if it doesn't at least I'm back at the ACU in May to be able to have a freak out about my new short cycle 😣 FFS! Getting very sick of all this TTC 💩 now 😭

@Pinkywoo that really is bad timing, sorry to hear that 😣

@BambiOnIce80 how weird! I thought your cycles were quite regular. Mind you, I had a 26 day last cycle and I am sure it was due to the stress of the rash which is nothing compared to the stress you have been under. I'd put it down to a one off and hopefully next cycle will get back to normal.

On the 'renewal' subject I got a SA test for DH and they ask for it to be fresh for 48hrs no more and no less. And to be delivered within one hour. DH suggested he should do it in the car park. I'm not convinced it's a good idea 😂🙈

@QuantumGirl - maybe he could find a tree to stand behind and make the sample. Make sure he wears his best trench coat!

My OH just went into the room they had for such purposes. He said there was all sorts of material on offer, catering for all tastes!

@Pinkywoo - TTC seems to bring out all the gripes in that area. Hope it goes away quickly!

@BambiOnIce80 - hopefully just stress related and you get a normal cycle again next month. My cycles are getting shorter though, and my luteal phase has gone from 11 days to 9. So maybe it is a sign of things to come. Hopefully not though!

Thanks @BambiOnIce80 @QuantumGirl @79andnotout, I'm on my 8th pint of water and taking d-mannose every two hours and feeling better, determined to dtd tonight!

Happy weekend ladies

Sorry to hear about potential uti @Pinkywoo - sounds like you’re doing all the right things to combat it. I also take a cranberry tablet after every time we dtd - not sure how that affects ttc though. I’m prone to them (uti) if i’m not careful so it’s a nightmare during fw. I just don’t want to dtd that often, which probably isn’t helping our chances. Has anyone thought of using one of those artificial insemination kits? Sounds like a clinical approach, but worth thinking about maybe?

@BambiOnIce Sorry the whole process is turning into more of a waiting game for you. Annoying that it’s so time critical though. I had a random really short cycle a few months ago - not sure if it means anything as it just went back to normal. I completely agree with you and @79andnotout about enjoying life as it is right now. I really love the thought of a baby and my hormones are definitely kicking into action, but I also love being able to read a book in peace, sleep and lie-ins! I just feel ready for a new chapter in my life which i’d always imagined would include a family.

Interesting to hear about the SA and not abstaining for 7 days. I had no clue. My DH went to see his GP this week to ask about having his done. I didn’t even have to nag him, so feels like progress. On the Ivf topic, I was googling stuff and found a site about having Ivf abroad so you can combine it with a holiday. Sounds like a good option to me if we have to go down that route

@Quantumgirl I have uncontrollable hair too. Don’t know what i’d do without frizz ease and my straighteners!

Good luck to anyone testing soon. Hope you all have a lovely weekend x

@79andnotout That's a great idea! He could do it military style 😂. Btw the earliest appointment we were offered is in April. Aw gawd!

@PixieN I am a Kérastase and babyliss big hair kind of girl. Keeping it long is the only way to avoid it growing sideways. I face timed my mum few days ago and got told off for having it too long and got the 'why don't you keep it shorter? So much easier...' 🙄😠

Well I powered through, dtd, and am now in the walk in centre with a full blown uti. At least we're in with a chance this month though!

I'm very jealous of all you big haired ladies, I spend most of my time trying to make mine bigger!

Ooof, that's crap @Pinkywoo 💐 Top marks for powering through DTD last night though! 👏

My cycles are indeed normally super-duper regular @QuantumGirl (illustration attached 😬), which is why I was quite freaked out yesterday with the mega short one. Trying to chill out about it and hope it's just a one off stress thing (seems like it could be a vicious circle if I keep stressing about it!). Surprisingly, AF has become as heavy as it normally is today, so being 9 or 10 days early doesn't seem to have effected my endometrial lining as much as I thought it would 🤔

@PixieN, someone on one of the first threads I tried was a doc who had done her back in and she used a syringe for a couple of months because she couldn't DTD (it didn't work, but I was in awe of her dedication to the cause! 😂). Mentioned the story to DP and he looked horrified at the suggestion of it... we'll park that idea there then 🙄 Seemed quite a practical suggestion to me if DTD is becoming a bit of a chore!

How's your OPK's looking @Carley321?x

@BambiOnIce80 Sorry about the short cycle. It was probably stress related you’ve had a tough time at an already tough time of year. 🤞 for some normality next cycle.

@pinkywoo sorry about the Uti. At least you managed to get some in though. 🤞 good luck.

I’m also very jealous of all the big hair. I also spend most of my time trying to make myself look less bald 🙄 lol. I’d do anything for it to be a little thicker.

@BambiOnIce80 cross post. I still have the flashing smileys. It’s been 3 days now. Nothing at all on cheapy OPK yet though. I hope I get my peak before Tuesday (if I get it at all).
Hope AF isn’t bothering you to much.

@Quantumgirl I’ve just looked up kerastase. I want some! Looks great and has really good reviews - recently been paid so may have to treat myself. I have to have mine long too, even though it takes ages to dry as the extra weight makes it hang better. I’m sure it would grow sideways if I let it - don’t think it’s been right since I had a dodgy perm at the age of 10. Why I thought this was a good idea, i don’t know 🤷‍♀️ One of my mates convinced me to go swimming the day after (very bad idea) and I just couldn’t look after it properly. I remember my dad sitting me down and brushing it out because it had become such a knotty mess. It was so frizzy and out of control, I remember being called frying pan head at one point. The mental scars! 🙈😝

@pinkywoo sorry it turned into a full blown uti - hope it clears quickly. Impressed you still dtd.

That Dr does sound dedicated @BambiOnIce 😳 I mentioned the idea to DH and he seemed quite open to it lol, though I know he’d appreciate more dtd action

@Carley321🤞 for a peak reading soon.

Fingers-crossed for a BFP OPK before Tuesday @Carley321 🤞🏻

DP is on a 12 hour shift today, which has given me far too much time to consult with Dr Google! 🤪 I'm beginning to think it's more likely that this dodgy short cycle might well be down to the bereavement stress, especially as I have a borderline/high prolactin level anyway 🙄 The last few weeks have probably pushed it way up and it's finally affected my cycle. Didn't temp this morning (not a great night's sleep), but temp was still a bit too high for my liking yesterday given AF is here. Was holding off on taking soy isoflavones because of my normal cycles and oestrogen/progesterone levels, but given the last hinky cycle and the possibility of this one being crap too, I've gone and ordered them off amazon to start taking tonight (amazon free same day delivery is a total enabler of my crazy!! 🤪). If it buggers my cycle up even more than the last one then, lesson learnt, won't take them again. The crap short cycle has left me in a 'can't hurt to try' frame of mind...

Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend, whatever you're up to.x