ttc after MC July 2007 - anybody out there?

[popsy76]

Hi ladies, our old thread is full and now I can't find anyone
I have posted here and on bereavement thread with same title - come join me if you find this

I am so ashamed nh Watford is UP North

T shirts with a big M?

Nh meant to qualify that by saying I am a typical southerner who thinks Watford is Up North!

PMSL at all your posts last night ladies!
Completely agree with torres and popsy - found myself telling a room full of work colleagues (incl 1 male who looked VERY uncomfortable)that I was expecting AF today cos had cramps and my 'cycles seem to be back to normal'. Must remember that in RL people DON'T WANT TO KNOW! You get lulled into a false sense of security on MN where you can quite happily discuss what kind of sticky mucus you've got down below and what days you've been bd'ing - not so appropriate in RL
AF not here yet (holds breath emoticon) but am whispering this as if I draw attention to it will come immediately and I will feel silly.
Herby - so pleased that you are sounding more positive - are you feeling good about your decision? Speaking as a social worker, I think it is great when someone decides to adopt - there are so many unwanted unloved children around and I do believe that they belong to society in a way, and that everyone should be concerned about their outcomes.
I have decided to adopt my DSD when we get married, we talked about it last night and I was v nervous, but she just said 'Yey yey yey! I'd love that! I'd be so happy! I might call you Mum if that's OK!' and then we had lots of hugs and I was very teary.

And hee hee I said to my DP last night 'My friends on MN said that if I don't have an engagement ring I should get a bigger one for first anniversary but obviously I don't need one obviously' and he said 'Hm yes a ring is a nice idea isn't it I think I'll buy you one'. Hurray!
AND I have managed not to test.
And yes Popsy, am getting married the week before I turn 30 so am sure will have some kind of meltdown too.

What are of social work do you do Ellie - children and families?

Doh - area By the way, lovely that you are going to adopt sdd

Yep - work in assessment and child protection. Was SO looking forward to my year off when got PG too! I wonder sometimes if that's why I so badly want to get PG again, just so can have some time off

Must be pretty gruelling. I know a lot of MH profs go to Jersey for tax breaks (and I suppose Jersey being so lovely helps too)and my friend who worked there (a doctor) said it's less intense than inner-city work but then Psychiatry is probably different than C+F.

PMSL at telling strangers about your mc and AF! I was with two PG friends last night and it made me sad to be in the same room as two people who have what I want so bad, and every time I talked about the mc or going to the doc about my missing period (CD66 now ladies!) there was like a deathly silence... I don't want it to be like that!

And then I really snapped at my friend because I was trying to ask whether BUPA would cover investigations into my missing periods (she used to work for them) and she said "they will, but there's a two-year waiting list for anything to do with fertility"

So I said "But this is not to do with fertility", and she said "Infertility then" so I snapped and said "This is not to do with INFERTILITY either, It is just about my missing period, It's nothing to do with trying to have a baby!"

I think I may be a bit sensitive about it

I have emailed her this morning to apologise and now she is mad at me for always apologising!

Don't worry nh we're all a bit mad here. And totally sympathise with the PG friend silences when MC comes up - my friend at work is always talking about it, and sometimes I mention MC just to shut her up!

Stop talking about infertility. None of us are infertile because we have had a MC.
That told you all didnt it.
Sorry if hard but I think that we all try to find things that are not there to try and make sense of what happened to us. The doctors cant tell us and so we search really hard for a reason. I have tried really hard for the past two cycles (dont work in real time any more it is all cycles not months) to just accept that for me this time my baby just wasnt strong enough to grow. I take so much strength from all of you ladies going through the same shit. It reminds me that I am not abnormal and that it can happen to anybody.

Feeling a bit birthday blues today. Not sure why as not really that bothered about the old thing.
I wonder if it is because I wanted to be finished with the having of babies by 35, 2dds already? Now I will be here for even longer.

Chin up hon x You'll get there, and you ain't exactly over the hill

Morning all !

Hello Herby - lovely to hear from you and well done on making the decision to look into adoption. We discussed this a few weeks back and have decided against it, principally because we thought it would be harder with having dd already but I would definitely be looking into it myself if we didn't already have dd. My parents actually had real trouble ttc (I know thats not your real issue) and got to the point of having been accepted for adoption and then fell pg with my brother and then had my other brother and then me all within 5 years (They are one of 'those' stories !!).

Lovely you are going to adopt your dsd Ellie - I assume she lives with you ? and great news on the ring !! I am glad us on MN serve a practical purpose.... I am with you on the wait to test - Am CD 32 but that is nothing unusual and am 99.9% certain AF is on its way today - all the usual feelings but, I keep telling myself, we didn't try very hard this month as I didn't REALLY want to be pg when we go on hols as it would be about 7 weeks when we go and I would spend the whole time worrying it was going to go wrong ..... Anyway, I keep telling myself I don't want to be pg this month (but I don't seem to be believe myself ). Anyway, whenever I'm about to test at the same time as someone Ellie, they usually get their BFP around the time my AF arrives so maybe this time IT WILL BE YOU.... (not bitter - oh no - of course not ).

NH - sorry about your disagreement but interesting what you say about the BUPA wait for infertility stuff (not that thats what you are looking for ) as I have been on at DH to check our policy to see if investigations will be covered but it sounds like it won't really help us much time wise anyway..... if we have to go that route....

Chin up Ronshar - I too wanted to have 3 dcs by the time I was 35 and now think its VERY unlikely given I will, at best, be almost 33 with dc2 if it happens soon. Although given the last year I think we will call it a day at 2 if we manage to get that far.

Right, am having loads of DH's family to stay this weekend so need to get on with sorting .....grrrr....

Dh family, be strong. Have a great weekend.
Ellie you made me cry with your dsd I love a happy ending.
I have had an idea for our cakefeast identity problem. we should have a pee stick placed upon our person somewhere. NOT used obviously! Tucked prettily behind the ear or used as a hair grip, you know the sort of thing.
What does everyone think?

Sorry Ronshar! Is it just me then who thinks that getting PG last time was just a fluke and that it will neveer happen again? Joking! Of course it will - it will happen for all of us. Keep the faith.

I am also getting the feeling that a few of us are getting anxious about our age. I have just turned 30 and am trying really hard to stop myself from thinking "time is running out"

It isn't!

Just think of all the people you know who've had kids in their 30s. There are millions.

Ellie - it;s so nice you are adopting your SD. It made me feel all warm inside!

Hey NH, thats ok. It is so easy to worry and think the worst because lets face it that is what happened to us isnt it!
I am eating a big slice of chocolate cake right now so typing with one finger and spilling crumbs everywhere.
Try and stay positive (in every sense). I am feeling better now myself. The miracle of chocolate

Thanks Ronshar - I am about to go and have a nice cold beer which always makes me feel better about my mc

Hey all!
Wish I was having a nice cold beer
am sweltering in the office. Never mind, only 2 hours and 45 mins til pub time!
I am still feeling slightly teary about DSD myself tbh ronshar - she is a lovely little girl, and having lost her Mummy 2.5 years ago I feel very honoured that she might want me to be it now.
PMSL laughing about wearing pee sticks - great idea
nh - that's it lady, stay positive. I often feel exactly the same way, and it's having all you lot here makes me realise I am not alone and that there is lots to be hopeful for and thankful of.

Wheely - maybe we should both test on monday if no AF? Though I really feel like mine is coming very soon.

Hi Ellie - its a deal although I think AF will be chez-wheely before then. Fingers crossed though - eh ?!

Just was nosy and looked at your profile, then went to the poems about MC thread and it's made me very cry, so sweet and so sad.

I think the pregnancy test might be a good look for cake-fest. Could have a theme and bring balloons and streamers and table confetti that looks like pee-stick. Whaddayathink???

Ellie- you are having a bundle of happy things happen at the moment. This is excellent juju!!!

Ronshar- know exactly wht you mean.

Am on 2ww now (or in my case, who-knows-when wait.) Beginning to think tha pg was sheer fluke and that it's never going to happen. I hate FriDAYS.