Crushing disappointment of TTC

[TheChineseChicken]

TTC number 2 and struggling with the miserable disappointment every month. DD took quite a long time to conceive. Tried for a year, fell pregnant then miscarried at 9 weeks then pregnant again 3 months later. Been trying for number 2 since August and stupidly convinced myself it would be quicker this time due to friends' experiences. But here we are on cycle 5. The not knowing is the worst bit - it could happen this month, it might never happen.

I know that no-one can give me any reassurances but I just wanted to have a moan!

I fished this morning's test out of the bin for some inexplicable reason and saw a faint second line, which is clearly an evaporation line. Just did another test to confirm and it's negative

Oh no, liveinhope100 I'm so sorry to hear that sending massive hugs

Does anyone think I need to be worried about this. The top one is the one I did on Tuesday, which I posted on this thread. The bottom one I did this morning. The left line is slightly lighter than Tuesday and the right line slightly darker.

@LHMB I don't think that looks like anything to worry about. It's still an extremely strong test

Thank you TheChineseChicken

@liveinhope100 - sorry about your loss when I had a CP on cycle 3 it gutting but also reassurance that you can conceive I know of doesn't make it feel any better right. I really hope you get a sticky BFP next time!! Xxx

How are we all doing today? I hope things are still progressing well for @LHMB, @Ells0204 and @codenameduchess.

@MummyBearBoo anything happening with you?

Only on about CD6 here so a loooong wait stretching ahead...

Hi TheChineseChicken hope you're okay. I'm struggling with withdrawal from my antidepressant which I have stopped taking. Day 11 without it. Longest I've ever gone without it in 26 years

I'm sure that is tough @LHMB. Did you just go cold turkey? Stay focused on the goal to keep yourself afloat. Will you find things easier with the improvement in weather during spring and summer (it does wonders for my MH)?

I have gone cold turkey. This drug is very unsafe during pregnancy, the Dr told me there are no antidepressants that are safe to take while pregnant and she said she'll refer me to the prenatal mental health team for support. I do find my mood improves in the nice weather

Hey @TheChineseChicken things seem to be going well... then sickness and nausea have gotten worse so I'm taking that as a good sign 🤞

How are the supplements going?

Glad to hear it @codenameduchess. As far as the supplements go, I have bright green wee so they must be in my system! Who knows if they actually do anything

Hi guys, long time no speak been reading everyday though. @LHMB glad ure lines are still strong.

I'm 9dpo and spotting has started feel pretty low about it. I had my 21 day bloods back - I'm yet to see gp to discussed but of course I have googled and they seem normal. I don't know what is up with me and I was so hoping this could be the month

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends? Xx

Hi everyone.

Struggling with upset stomach and nausea, as well as the withdrawal from the antidepressants.

Been worried about the stress the withdrawal may be having on the baby.

I had a clear blue digital left over so thought I'd do it and see what the weeks indicator said.

This was the result, I'm worried it might mean something is wrong.

@LHMB it looks like you just didn't do the test properly - no indicator that anything is wrong

@orangeloo sorry about the spotting. Do you have another appointment with your GP to discuss your blood test and the ongoing spotting?

@chinesechicken thank you x. Yes I have an appointment on the 9th. I will ask that they keep investigating- something must be causing this and could highly likely affect any implantation as I start spotting 6-9 days after OV. It's very frustrating but at least I've got the investigation ball rolling I spose.

How is everyone doing? Xx

@orangeloo have you always spotted or is it a recent thing (sorry I lose track)? I suspect it's one of those things that GPs don't know much about so you may need to see a specialist somehow.

All ok here. CD9 so just starting this month's regime. Told myself I am going to stress less this time but we'll see. If I don't get pregnant this month it means that I won't be pregnant for the weekend away we have with friends soon, by which time I assumed I would have a big baby bump and planned accordingly. So that feels like quite a major milestone

@TheChineseChicken about the last two years- I'm 31 I had general bloods and transvaginal ultrasound a year ago and found nothing - ultrasound lady even said I had a 'perfect looking womb' (sigh) and all was as it should be- so must just be 'me' and hormonal. I gave up and only realised I should have pestered them to continue after I started ttc. Yes I think ure right GP's don't seem to know much about hormones and ttc etc at all.

I understand what you mean when we hit milestones we thought we'd be pregnant by. I think I've tried to think that I won't be so I don't let anything affect plans- I know that sounds horribly negative - I don't actually mean it that way. But the disappointment is so hard to deal with sometimes I just try carry like I'm not actually ttc at all if that makes sense.

@ TheChineseChicken thank you

10dpo today...cycle who knows what? A year and a half later, are my eyes deceiving me???

I've been ttc #2 since October 2018, never had a whiff of a positive since then, I'm 10dpo today and just did this! Please tell me my eyes aren't decieving me 😭

@pinkstar01 I can see something for sure - maybe get a FRER. Fingers crossed

@orangeloo I picked up one but now I'm al scarred to use it! I think I'll wait till tomorrow morning to make sure it's concentrated enough

@pinkstar01 eek!!! Cautious congrats