Crushing disappointment of TTC

[TheChineseChicken]

TTC number 2 and struggling with the miserable disappointment every month. DD took quite a long time to conceive. Tried for a year, fell pregnant then miscarried at 9 weeks then pregnant again 3 months later. Been trying for number 2 since August and stupidly convinced myself it would be quicker this time due to friends' experiences. But here we are on cycle 5. The not knowing is the worst bit - it could happen this month, it might never happen.

I know that no-one can give me any reassurances but I just wanted to have a moan!

I fished this morning's test out of the bin for some inexplicable reason and saw a faint second line, which is clearly an evaporation line. Just did another test to confirm and it's negative

@Ells0204 thanks for the tips. I'm also going to try to relax a bit this month (haha!) and NOT tear before AF is due. Wish me luck.

When will your next scan be - 12 weeks?

TheChineseChicken I haven't had any more spotting thankfully. Last night and this morning I had a bit of an upset stomach, not really the runs, but urgent and loose. It's gone from constipation to that.
Feeling very emotional and irritable, I've been on Seroxat for over 25 years, tried so many times over the years to come off it but it's a horrific drug. It's also not safe during pregnancy, it is linked to heart defects, breathing problems and autism, so I have stopped taking it. I've been on 10mg, then a four day break, then 10mg again, been doing that for months. I last had one on Tuesday, so was supposed to take one yesterday. But I haven't, and the withdrawal is already kicking in. I can't function without them and am so moody but I can't risk the baby.
Also worried sick about that slight pink discharge last night, worried it's stopped developing and I'll be told I've had a MMC. Been wanting to buy more tests to see if they're still positive but DP and friend said that's stupid and a waste of money and that I should only be worried if I have heavy bleeding

I started taking these on Saturday. I'm just anxious to get a Dr appointment now

No more spotting or cramping is a good sign. Even if you go to an EPU now they won't be able to see anything on a scan until at least 6 weeks so I think you may need to just sit tight, which I know is easier said than done

TheChineseChicken thank you I'm just anxious to know everything is okay. The symptoms I've been getting, like bloating and trapped wind, or urgently needing the toilet, which were mostly happening after I ate, have eased now, so that's made me worry. Also I found I was feeling nauseous and light headed if I ate chocolate. That's stopped too. The last couple of days and nights I've been really tired but today not so much. I don't know if early pregnancy symptoms can fluctuate

They absolutely can come and go - also you're really too early for them to have kicked in properly. So don't assume that you should be throwing up and falling asleep all the time!

@LHMB yes they do fluctuate, especially early on. I'm still not sure what's happening hour to hour, one minute I'm fine then next floored with nausea and sickness.

TheChineseChicken and codenameduchess thank you

Hang on in there @LHMB glad the spotting has stopped. Feet up and lots of rest if possible. I didn’t have any symptoms until well over 5 weeks and even that was just nausea. I don’t feel particularly tired at all even now!

@thechinesechicken going back to EPU next week for another (so at about 9.5 weeks) just for reassurance, then praying all that goes well, will just wait until my 12-week dating scan

Thanks Ells0204. I woke in the night with period type cramps and was so worried. My boobs were so painful last night too. I'm waking up in the morning and getting an upset stomach and full on anxiety, had a gush of clear watery discharge as well which worried me but been told that's normal.
In the shower this morning I had to sit down as I came over all faint and nauseous.
I phoned to get a Dr appointment for today. The receptionist asked why, told her I found out I'm pregnant on Friday. She said I don't need to see a Dr and she can just book me in with the midwife, but it's not until the 8th of May, which is another couple of weeks. I wanted to see someone sooner, anxious in case something is wrong.
I need to see if there's anything they can give me to help with the IBS, it's gone from bloating, trapped wind, gassy and constipation to really desperately needing the loo and it being loose
Struggling without my antidepressants as well, it's been a week without them now so am getting withdrawal. Was hoping to see the Dr for some advice.

Fingers crossed everything continues to go well for you too

@LHMB call back and make an appointment with your gp. Don't mention the pregnancy to the receptionist, just says it medication review or rested to your existing conditions... don't suffer especially withdrawals

They said to phone back at 14.00 for a same day appointment. So I'll do that. I bought some more tests, stupid I know, bit the line is so faint, I'm worried that could mean it's gone and the pregnancy hormones are decreasing.

Done another digital to see if the numbers have gone down. Still the same result as Friday

When will you be 5 weeks? The digital will only tick over to 3+ weeks then. BUT these tests are notorious for being inaccurate and shouldn't be used to diagnose a viable pregnancy!

I think in another couple of weeks. Gonna get a Dr appointment tomorrow. 8th of May for the midwife appointment seems so far away, even though it's only a couple of weeks

You must be at least 4 weeks by now, right? Based on a 28 day cycle you're 4 weeks pregnant when AF is due

@LHMB that’s the control line that’s faint not the test line!! That’s the strongest FRER I’ve ever seen..are you having twins?! 😆

Oh yeah!!!

Ells0204 oh my goodness, it's funny, as I've read a lot today saying that that is the control line and that the test line shoes dark in early pregnancy if it's twins. I doubt it though lol.
And thank you for confirming that's the test line as I was worried about that at the time

TheChineseChicken my last AF started on March 19th

@LHMB ok so you should be coming up to 5 weeks soon

Thanks TheChineseChicken

So I'm back here even with devastating news. I lost it :( I started bleeding today went to hospital and negative test. I can't believe all of it is over just like that. So as I was 5 weeks I guess it was a chemical pregnancy. I doubt they will even be able to tell my why it's happened and this is twice now. Just makes me so scared for the future

Oh no @liveinhope100 that's so upsetting for you. I'm sorry. A few of us have been there so we understand. Big hugs

@liveinhope100 im so sorry darling, life can be cruel, hang in there ❤️

Hi ladies, sorry I took some time away and DH and I took a short break from ttc so that we could regroup after being ill etc. I'm 2dpo today and feeling positive but calm, let's see!

How have you all been? xx

Thank you @TheChineseChicken and @pinkstar01