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Original poster

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

987 replies

Yukka · 28/11/2018 19:31

New Thread as we're at 988 messages on thread 26. we'll do a quick roll call:
Age 39
TTC x1
MC x 3 = Sept + Dec 2017 + May 2018
Currently pregnant again 5w4ds
Diagnosed with APS/Hughes Syndrome. On Asprin since October and start Heparin tomorrow. First scan Monday.

xx

OP posts:
Thread gallery
36
Lilimum6 · 26/01/2019 17:43

@Laney79 nothing except that horrid orange stuff hun. I probably shouldn't but I can't wait to get Tuesday over with now

Dimblebimble · 26/01/2019 17:48

I had a stronger line today but just had some red spotting :( guessing that's not a good sign especially so early on

Laney79 · 26/01/2019 17:59

I can imagine @Lilimum6 any luck with getting them to use ultrasound on Tuesday?

@Dimblebimble hugs. And hoping it's just a blip and all is ok xxx

Lilimum6 · 26/01/2019 18:01

@Laney79 no hun they will not budge on it. But now I just want to get it done.

Laney79 · 26/01/2019 18:13

@Lilimum6 I'm really sorry to hear that. Very wrong of them to say yes and then say no, particularly with your history. I'm livid on your behalf!

I've been for reflexology today which was great. So relaxing. Seems to have helped with AF cramping too (thankfully-she's been a real b**tch this month). CD2 and boy is it heavy. Ugh. I just hope it's the body having a good clear out. X

Lilimum6 · 26/01/2019 18:25

@Laney79 where did you go for hun and what does the treatment cost. I'll give anything a go

KnitKitty · 26/01/2019 18:29

Hi ladies,

Thank you to those who asked after me.

@RedRobin7, the job is going well thank you. It seems to be a lot more relaxing than my old job so I'm really pleased I made the change.

@MistyMeow Wonderful news! Congratulations. Don't worry about the spotting... They're not interested in bleeding unless it's red, heavy and accompanied by cramping. Try to do some meditation to stay calm. Take each day/hour/minute at a time. I have everything crossed for you that this pregnancy is a successful one.

@Yukka and SerenaOverjoyed Thank you for posting undates on your pregnancies. I'm so pleased that things are going well for both of you. It really gives me encouragement.

@Lilimum6 I am so, so sorry for what you're going through. Stay strong. Hugs xxx

@Boboelephant How are you hun? Where are you up to with the IVF now?

Sorry I haven't mentioned everyone else by name but I am thinking of you all and routing for you.
Hello to the new people on this thread. I hope you find comfort here and get your rainbows soon.

Not much to report for me. Just hanging around waiting for my endocrinology appointment in March. Still no date through for my recurrent miscarriage follow up yet.
Trying to stay distracted with other things and have decided that I won't be trying again until May. My sister is getting married at the end of April so I don't want to be an emotional wreck for that and I'm assuming that endocrinology are going to want to put me on some sort of meds and then check if they're working, so I'll need to give that time to work.
I'm not feeling impatient though. I don't want to be trying at the moment. It's such a hard roller coaster of emotions and I just feel like I'm never going to have a successful pregnancy so the thought of trying again isn't really appealing.
It's a whole year since I got pregnant the first time now, so I've lapped myself which feels crap, but I'm just trying not to think about it and not having TTC on my mind all the time is helping.
I've also got the added bonus of having lost a bit of weight and my skin has cleared up now that my hormones have been given time to settle down a bit after being pregnant almost every other month last year.

Sorry I'm not on much anymore. Will still drop by from time to time.

Lilimum6 · 26/01/2019 19:09

@KnitKitty hi hun good to hear from you. I think I know how you feel slightly it seems we ve been on this thread for ever doesn't it. I too feel like this is never going to happen. The DH keeps saying "positive thinking" but that doesn't seem to numb the feelings does it?
I hope your appointments go well keep us posted. And I'm glad your new job is working out well for you x ☓

Laney79 · 26/01/2019 19:14

@Lilimum6 I'll message you her details. I really enjoy it xxx

strawberrye · 26/01/2019 20:32

@KnitKitty good to hear your update, glad to hear the new job is going well and that the break from TTC is having some benefits. I know what you mean though, I have now passed the anniversary of my first BFP and will soon by the anniversary of my first loss. I will have been on this thread a whole year soon too, feels like things are moving forward for so many but standing still for me. Am also just checking in occasionally as not TTC until thyroid is in healthy range. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you when you do start TTC again x

InDreamland · 26/01/2019 21:13

Thanks @Mistymeow and @Dimblebimble. We're back home now. Did stuff to try distract the mind from what yesterday should have been but it was impossible. I did see a rainbow though .......... wish it was a sign but I am not pregnant. Didn't help that at dinner there was a heavily pregnant waitresses Sad why is my face being rubbed in it?. I can't escape pregnant women and babies. Driving home today all I could think was we should have a car seat with our newborn strapped in at the back and we should have been on our way back from hospital not from a night away in Oxford. I did buy a little soft toy monkey in the Blenheim Palace gift shop as he was so cute and I thought our little bean would have loved him.

TinyPaws · 26/01/2019 22:35

@KnitKitty Lovely to hear from you. I know what you mean about needing a break for ones sanity. I've decided not to do any more fertility treatment until April at earliest, even if RMC results are available before then, because I need some time out!

Laney79 · 27/01/2019 09:34

Glad to hear you are doing ok @KnitKitty sounds like the time you've taken is helping you. Really pleased. I'm envious of your mental strength to take a break-I'm just obsessed! But I guess that's because I'm an old bird!

I think there's a few of us getting to our year anniversary. It's about this time last year I fell pregnant for the first time, got my first ever bfp in feb. Feels like a lifetime ago. And here I am a year on, 2 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages and on CD3. It was all so easy back then. "If it happens it happens" was my attitude then I saw those two lines and I turned into a crazy woman.

Dimblebimble · 27/01/2019 12:41

@InDreamland maybe the rainbow was a sign not to lose hope, and that this will be your year. Fingers crossed for you x

Laney79 · 27/01/2019 16:55

@Dimblebimble how's the spotting today? Has it stopped? Xxx

Dimblebimble · 27/01/2019 17:39

@Laney79 it hasn't happened since, so it's been about 24 hours now. I had the exact same type of one off spotting in my last pregnancy but it was around 5 and a half weeks (I'm just over 4 weeks now) and then stopped until 9.5 weeks when I had more severe brown then red spotting. So hopefully it's not a sign of history repeating itself.

I had a severe pain the night before as I was trying to go to sleep, so I wondered if it was related. I would have put it down to implantation pains and spotting but I'd already been having positive tests for a week by the time this happened.

Laney79 · 27/01/2019 17:44

@Dimblebimble fingers crossed it was just your little bean bedding in a bit better into your womb. Pleased to hear it hasn't happened again. Will you have an early scan this time? Xxx

Dimblebimble · 27/01/2019 18:00

@Laney79 I've been thinking about this. I had one last time at 6 weeks because of the bleeding and another privately at 7.5 weeks so my dh could see. Both times the baby was measuring fine with a heartbeat visible on an external scan. And yet it stopped developing the next week, according to the measurements taken when my mmc was diagnosed.

I was quite cautious not to get too excited last time as I knew the miscarriage risks, but after I had the early scans I started to think ahead (when would I go on maternity leave, how would we tell family, etc). So I think it got my hopes up a bit.

So I don't know whether an early scan would help. What do you think?

InDreamland · 27/01/2019 18:25

Thanks @Dimblebimble. That's all I really want this year, a baby that is healthy and happy. Guess we could all say that on here.

Would an early scan help with any worries right now? I guess given your last experience you'll be more cautious of the planning etc. Really hope everything is ok x

Dimblebimble · 27/01/2019 18:31

@InDreamland yes, I'm in two minds. Part of me thinks I should carry on as normal and not think about the pregnancy until the 12 week scan. If I don't get my hopes up I won't be as disappointed if something goes wrong...

It's going to be a very busy 2 months at work, so I'm hoping the time will pass quickly.

Laney79 · 27/01/2019 19:04

@Dimblebimble I think if I catch again I will go for an early scan-but not until 9 weeks+

I've had early scans with both of my pregnancies, both strangely at 8+6 and I know it sounds silly but I want to avoid that particular day again, feels like tempting fate. I don't want any internal scans if I can avoid them so by 9 weeks+ baby should be visible on a tummy scan and if there's a heartbeat the miscarriage chances drop dramatically. And if I do have another mmc at the same point (around 6 weeks) hopefully by 9 weeks my body will start to realise.

Does that make sense at all? I do feel for you. They offered me a scan at 6 weeks with my second but I said no as it could be inconclusive. At least by 9 weeks you get a much more concrete answer xxx

Laney79 · 27/01/2019 19:05

@InDreamland I hope your rainbow is a sign of better things to come. Hugs x

Original poster
Yukka · 27/01/2019 20:44

@dimblebimble from my experience to be honest the early scans don’t reassure much but at least cut down the worry time. As this is my 4th pregnancy I’ve had them every 2 weeks but the reassurance only last about a day. Then you’re back to being aware that it means v little until you get passed 12 weeks. The reason I’d recommend scans is to marginally reduce the stress in you, but that’s all really. If you have to go private, try and wait till 9weeks as heartbeat at that point reduces mc risk to about 95% xx

(Or go twice,after 6.4 and again after 9 to better guarantee heartbeat view both times) xx

OP posts:
Frillyfarmer · 27/01/2019 20:48

Personally I don't really understand the reassurance scans - I take the view that the NHS start scanning around 12 weeks for a reason, and with both my DS and my MC, my "plan" was to hold my breath from BFP to 12 week scan and pray for a sticky bean.

I think if you're anxious, the early scans are only a very short break before the anxiety kicks in again. It's a shitty shitty time in the first trimester and I'd forgotten just how long and lonely it was until my second BFP.

But actually early miscarriage is a fucking lonely road as well. My husband doesn't really talk about it and my mum and friends seem to want to avoid the subject. I haven't quite found how I feel yet. I think because it's so early, I have been grieving what the pregnancy meant for us, rather than the baby. And I feel really guilty for feeling like that.

InDreamland · 27/01/2019 21:09

@Dimblebimble I hope that the distraction at work does help. Pregnancy after mc is so tough and that anxiety takes the shine off it sadly. Fx for a healthy sticky bean!

@Laney79 thank you. I totally get what you're saying. I also want to avoid internal scans now and think I'd try hold out until at least 9 weeks (whether I have the will power though). Last internal scan I had ended with my second mc with bleeding starting pretty much within a minute of the scan finishing.

@Frillyfarmer you shouldn't feel guilty for your feelings or how you see your mc -
however you feel is totally natural and normal for you.

I'm either 8 or 9 dpo and think I'm out already this month. Think I'm coming diem with something. Just feel so tired, and just weird, like this strange dull headache but rest of body feels odd too. not describing very well. Being ill TTC is never good.