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TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

987 replies

Yukka · 28/11/2018 19:31

New Thread as we're at 988 messages on thread 26. we'll do a quick roll call:
Age 39
TTC x1
MC x 3 = Sept + Dec 2017 + May 2018
Currently pregnant again 5w4ds
Diagnosed with APS/Hughes Syndrome. On Asprin since October and start Heparin tomorrow. First scan Monday.

xx

OP posts:
Thread gallery
36
strawberrye · 11/01/2019 21:33

@lilimum6 hypothyroidism is associated with miscarriage and problems with fetal neurodevelopment. It's undoubtedly what caused my third loss, but my TSH was around 4 for my first two losses so I don't think it's the whole answer for me. So I need to wait until TSH is

Lilimum6 · 11/01/2019 21:36

@strawberrye fingers crossed 🤞 for your next test hun, hope its dropped enough to be safe to try again x have they done any other tests that might be the cause for your losses x

strawberrye · 11/01/2019 21:58

@Lilimum6 I've had my vitamin B12 and vitamin D, as well as coeliac screen which was all negative. Waiting for the second lot of my clotting bloods and to be seen at the RMC where I'm hoping they'll offer more tests including genetics x

Lilimum6 · 11/01/2019 22:05

@strawberrye how long have you been doing this testing for

strawberrye · 11/01/2019 22:09

@Lilimum6 I had most of it done by my GP when I found out the wait for my RMC appointment was 3 months, she agreed to do them to hopefully speed up the process a bit x

Lilimum6 · 11/01/2019 22:32

@strawberrye I'm waiting for an appointment now wonder if I should try an pester a gp into doing some tests for me. What should I ask for

lilmousey · 12/01/2019 00:51

Hi ladies

Please may I join?

I'm 29, OH is 33 and we've been TTC #1 for 10 months.

First BFP before xmas but MC last week at 6 weeks.

Still feeling sad and lonely. (burst into tears on my way home last night!) OH doesn't want to talk about it.. and we didn't tell anyone else so I have no one to talk to and it feels like it never happened. Anyone else experienced anything similar with their partner, and how did you deal with it?

Keen to start TTC again soon although recommendation from nurse was to wait until after my next period - although that sounds like it's more for a dating benefit than anything else.

Boboelephant · 12/01/2019 07:40

@Mistymeow hello! You were the other person that's been on my mind. So glad you didn't have to wait for ages. I've heard stories of NHS funded IVF taking 18 months! So brilliant news!! If you don't need to work right now I think I'd wait. I have to take off so much time for appointments, lucky my boss is awesome. That's crap about your friends, definitely not what you need right now. Hope to see you on an IVF board very soon!
@strawberrye I can't imagine how tired you must have felt. I was borderline and felt exhausted. Hope they find some answers as to what was making it so high.
@moonpeace and @lilmousey welcome and so sorry for your losses. I find it's important to talk about it as otherwise it just festers inside. This thread is fab and I also told some friends who hadn't known about my pregnancies yet as I needed the support.

RedRobin7 · 12/01/2019 08:15

Morning ladies!
@Boboelephant Great to hear from you! Totally understand that you feel like you're no longer in the same position as most of us on here but we'd love to hear updates on how you're doing. I regularly think about you. Wishing you all the luck in the world as you start IVF 🤞🌈

@KnitKitty You are so lovely donating your blanket to LGBT! Always so thoughtful.
My boobs aren't as sore today so I think you're right. Just psychological but at least I've only got 2 weeks until we'll be trying again. Well, providing DH doesn't change his mind which he's done a thousand times before. I think he knows it will cause huge problems with our marriage if he does!
I had an MRI years ago for my pituitary gland because I had high prolactin levels and my boobs would be sore for a month at a time. Hopefully, like mine, your results will all come back normal. Interesting they did an MRI to look at your womb shape - I've only been offered a hysteroscopy.
I really hope this is your year - once you've settled into your new job and have answers from RMC! Let us know how you get on with your new job 😊 Good luck!

@Lilimum6 How are you doing today lovely? I hope it's all happening naturally for you. Completely understandable that you're feeling numb and questioning if this is enough now. Don't make these decisions yet - wait until you're feeling stronger. Life is so cruel and it's so unfair. Don't give up hope! Thinking of you xx

@TinyPaws I hope you get some answers. I'm on my second round of counselling and it's helping more than the first time. I hope it's helping you too.

@Mistymeow Lovely to hear from you and great news you're starting IVF. Everything crossed for you and sending luck your way too 🤞🌈
As for insensitive friends - it's so so hard. I feel like everyone around me is pregnant and nobody remembers what I've been through when they talking about it all the time. My best friend was a week behind me during my second pregnancy. She's asked me to go to her baby shower next month. I couldn't say no because I'm her best friend but I know it'll be so hard.

@moonpeace Welcome to our little group - it's the worst club in the world but we are all in it together and there's so much support 🐧 My first two miscarriages were very similar to yours. Also in March and July. It is so consuming and hard to think about anything else so we understand. Hope you feel you can talk to us here.

@lilmousey Welcome too. So sorry you find yourself here. I totally understand how alone you feel. When I had my MMC at 12 weeks in March, my husband drove me home from the scan and tucked me up in bed and then went to work. I said it was fine but still to this day I don't understand why he thought it was okay to leave me. He didn't realise how bad I was until after I had surgical management and ended up having panic attacks! Second miscarriage he didn't talk much about it and couldn't understand why I had bought candles for my babies. He didn't like me sharing about my miscarriages on social media - I only did on the Wave of Light day. I think it was just his way of dealing with it and he didn't understand by shutting it all out he was making me feel alone. My DH then decided he never wanted to try again and we argued so much about it. We had a massive row recently and it all came out. He said he has been affected by the miscarriages more than he's let on, so perhaps yours is just not able to talk about it. I was just thinking maybe he didn't have a heart! Unfortunately, the best way for us to deal with it was time. He eventually came around. Now he's agreed to talk to someone - not counselling but a close friend of his. 6 months on from the last miscarriage we are now ready to try again.

Sorry for the long post! I missed lots whilst being busy falling in love with my new guide dog in training! He's 20 months and is in advanced training. He settled well and slept all night. I won't name him as I can be easily traced but here's a pic 😊

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!
strawberrye · 12/01/2019 10:29

@Lilimum6 worth asking, but I think it probably depends on what your GP is happy ordering and interpreting. Good luck!

@Boboelephant yeah I was exhausted! Took every inch of my being to drag myself into work every day. Hopefully my TSH is heading towards normal as I am feeling much better.

lilmousey · 12/01/2019 14:13

Thank you for the warm welcome ladies.

@RedRobin7 it breaks my heart to hear your story but it's also given me huge comfort - how twisted is life! I know men deal with their emotions differently and I know I need to take responsibility as well and tell him that by shutting me out he's making me feel like this hasn't affected him which makes me feel more alone - but I also don't want to have to tell him how to act! Really happy to hear you and dh are ready to start TTC again. I hope 2019 is a more positive year - in all senses!

Your new pup is so cute! How long do they normally stay with you? I'm sure they've provided real comfort in those moments of need. Such wonderful animals!

RedRobin7 · 13/01/2019 10:55

@lilmousey It has been a heartbreaking 9 months but I really hope things will improve now that we are ready to try again. My counsellor recommended that I wrote a letter to my DH so that he could read it without any interruptions or arguments mid way! I had planned to but to my surprise my DH wrote me a letter (without knowing my plans!) and he read it to me. It really helped us talk things through so maybe try writing a letter and see if that helps you express how you're feeling.

Each dog stay with us for around 3-4 months. During our training for our first dog I was actually miscarrying and they offered to train us another time but I said I'd be okay. The centre is only around the corner from my house so I was keeping every crossed I could get through it without a panic attack or bleeding everywhere. I had to rush to the toilet several times and it was awful waiting for the clots to pass so I could go back to the room. Really surprised I managed it but I didn't want to postpone having a dog! I was so grateful I had the dog to cuddle during the period I was signed off work. She kept me going and I even ended up running every day in November to raise money for Guide Dogs! I started running after my first miscarriage and that's hugely helped me mentally. I changed from a couch potato to 5k runner!

Do you have any hobbies that you can focus on to help?

Lilimum6 · 13/01/2019 11:19

Well the spotting has not progressed into anything more 😢
We are going to the memorial service for our baby today at 2.30pm. I'll say a little prayer for all of your little ones too xx

Russkispy · 13/01/2019 17:37

AF arrived today, 2 days earlier making this cycle 26 days. Decided not to start another IVF this time around. My dad is coming to visit me on Sunday for 2 weeks. Can't be dealing with him being here and injections, flying out etc etc I'll start next cycle instead. And this time we will just DTD every other day after AF gone and see what happens. I won't OPK, cheaply or digitally as run out of both and won't buying any either. Will continue with supplements, reflexology and acupuncture.
This is now 6 cycles passed after MMC.
Hopefully soon enough we will get it BFPs! Whichever way!
@Lilimum6 hope it went well today. Thanks

janey15 · 13/01/2019 17:54

Thanks for all the welcomes ladies. I’m sorry there’s so many of us here. One week on and I’m feeling strangely positive? I know it probably won’t last so I’m trying to enjoy it while I can!
Luckily my DH has been really supportive through this but I think it’s because we have been through so much over 4 years of infertility that he’s learned how to deal with the sadness. He hasn’t always found it easy and we have had some very tough times so I’m very grateful that he’s doing such a great job looking after me.
I’m going to ring the dr tomorrow and hoping for another week off. My job is full on and stressful with nowhere to hide if I need to cry.
Xx

Lilimum6 · 13/01/2019 18:08

My second 🌈 blanket nearly finished

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!
Russkispy · 13/01/2019 18:31

Just finished this for my rainbow baby whenever that happens to us Smile

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!
Lilimum6 · 13/01/2019 18:45

@Russkispy it's beautiful hun love the pattern

Russkispy · 13/01/2019 19:01

Thanks @Lilimum6 . Absolutely love cable pattern! Started on a little hat, also in cable! Smile

Lilimum6 · 13/01/2019 19:27

@Russkispy tbh I've never tried it but it looks beautiful

strawberrye · 13/01/2019 20:02

Just starting the yellow layer of my rainbow blanket.

Love both of your blankets @lilimum6 and @russkispy. I have never tried to cable, I've heard it's really tricky, you must be a very talented knitter!

TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!
Russkispy · 13/01/2019 21:20

@strawberrye thank you! But I'm not a professional knitter! Learned it all from YouTube a couple of years ago. And find cable knitting very easy Smile

Newbie21 · 13/01/2019 21:28

Hi ladies, can I ask a question - does anyone know if you have had a natural MC, are you more likely to experience implantation bleeding?

I know I am likely clutching at straws here - I had my second MC in Nov and lost it naturally. I had a period in Dec and then this is my first cycle TTC since. I ovulated later than norm so I wasn't expecting AF to show up until 17/18 Jan but I've just had the lightest brown/pink Discharge. It will likely be premenstrual spotting. I had that after my previous MC (where I had a D&C) but then it was more brown and stringy (sorry TMI) this time it is more v faint pink

Laney79 · 13/01/2019 21:57

Those blankets are gorgeous-you are all so talented! Wish I could create something so lovely.

@Lilimum6 hope the service went ok today. Sorry to hear the spotting hasn't developed, I hope your body gives you a break soon.

@janey15 definitely take as much time as you need and don't rush back to work-I had 7 weeks off with my first loss and another month with my second. I needed time. Welcome @lilmousey too xxx

@RedRobin7 what a beautiful woofer! Not sure I could let them go after several months-must be tough xxx

@Russkispy sorry about AF lovely.

Sorry not to respond to everyone individually. Hugs to you all.

As for me I'm 2dpo...managed one well timed dtd session on Tuesday and ovulated thurs/fri so hoping oh little guys were strong and healthy and got right on in there with my egg. This next 10/12 days are going to go VERY slowly. X

lilmousey · 13/01/2019 22:44

Wow those blankets are amazing ladies!

@RedRobin7 writing a letter is such a good idea! Think I'll definitely do that - thank you! I might even start writing a journal for myself, so I'm not holding on to everything inside.

Is it hard when you have to give the dog back? That's really great work on the running - well done! I've been thinking about getting back into yoga, but so far all I've done is google classes. Now just have to get to the next stage of actually booking one!

@Lilimum6 thinking of you! Hope it went well today 💐

@Laney79 hope the next two weeks go quickly for you! Have everything crossed!

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