TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

[Yukka]

New Thread as we're at 988 messages on thread 26. we'll do a quick roll call:
Age 39
TTC x1
MC x 3 = Sept + Dec 2017 + May 2018
Currently pregnant again 5w4ds
Diagnosed with APS/Hughes Syndrome. On Asprin since October and start Heparin tomorrow. First scan Monday.

xx

@KnitKitty you sound in a good place at the moment from your post-plans in place and things to work towards with your appointments and the wedding too. Hope the new job goes well!

@MakeLemonade sounds like a really tough day, big hugs. I looked at the smep plan but it just wouldn't work for us. My fella isn't as active as some in the bd dept so have to time things carefully. I hope it works for you.

@Beaglemum93 fingers crossed for you too.

@Lilimum6 I really feel for you. It's awful when you are left like this. Is there any point in asking if taking mifepristone as well as misoprostol would help if you do try medical management again? That's what worked for me when I had my first MMC. Miso alone didn't do much. I fought to have them -it's the old protocol they used to use which seemingly has higher success rates than miso alone. Only changed because NICE decided it was cheaper to use just the one drug (using very limited evidence to justify). I wish there's something we could do to help. Xx

@Laney79 I asked with the last mmc but Telford hospital don't support its use. They don't even offer MVA it just medical management via pessary or d & c.

@Lilimum6 I had mine at Telford!

@Laney79 really who did you ask and I'll request then at my scan. Where do you come from then hun Telford or near by

@Lilimum6 I'm telford-tell you what I'll send you a private message, then we won't fill the feed up with local bits!

@janey15 that's totally understandable, just try to take things as they come and you can start trying again when you feel ready

@RedRobin7 welcome back and I hope 2019 brings lots of luck for you

@rdm10 sorry to hear about your news, what a confusing and upsetting time. I hope you get some resolution soon.

@Beaglemum93 that's awful - you ought to feed that back even if it is just to raise the issue with the admin systems.

@Laney79 glad you are feeling more positive, I was worried about your before Christmas. It can be a really difficult time. I wish you lots of luck in 2019 too!

@KnitKitty sorry to hear your appointment is so far away, I completely understand how frustrating it can be. Still waiting for my RMC appointment and it feels time is really dragging! Best of luck for your MRI results. Sending you hugs with the upcoming difficult dates too. How goes your knitting? My rainbow blanket has red and orange and I am now on yellow - will have a blanket before even a BFP at this rate!

@boboelephant I have also been thinking of you and hope things are either going swimmingly with the IVF or that you got a sods law BFP right before starting!

@MakeLemonade Well done on going back to work and hope it gets better for you.

@Lilimum6 thinking of you and praying things work out for you, you've had such a royally shit time

Well I've been quiet for a couple of reasons, not actually TTC at the moment as still waiting for my thyroid to get into a safe range for pregnancy, that and have loads going on at work at the moment including some professional exams soon. RMC appointment in a month, feeling really nervous.

@strawberrye what's wrong with your thyroid? I'm wondering because I have an overactive thyroid. Are you on medication for it?

@Beaglemum93 Not actually had a diagnosis but I think I have Hashimotos. My TSH in December was over 60 and I have positive anti-TPO antibodies. So I'm on levothyroxine and praying my TSH is around 2 when I get it checked again so I can get back to TTC.

I hope it won't be too much of a wait for you @strawberrye!

@rdm10 Sorry you are having a tough time. I really hope we all have a better year! I plan to test on Wednesday, I'll be 14dpo. Usually that's the day my period would come but since being on metformin it's never on time anymore. I'm like 90% sure I'm not pregnant and that my body is just being cruel teasing me but I'm too impatient to wait for my period! My boobs are so full and sore but it makes no sense they've come back for the first time in a year and Why this month of all months! Head f*ck.

@Lilimum6 and @Laney79 thanks ladies! Fingers crossed for BFPs and healthy babies this year.

@KnitKitty I thought about messaging you too but decided to check on here first to see if you were around. I didn't realise it was exactly 3 months ago that I left the thread. No idea where that time has gone!

Oh no, that must have been so hard with the pea reference. I understand how you're feeling with it now being one year on. We found out I was pregnant on 20th Jan so having that coming up I've not been coping well and started counselling again and took this week off work rather last minute just to have so time to myself. Since my DH has decided we will start trying again I feel like a weight has been lifted. It's amazing how much wanting a baby can consume us! I am so scared at the same time.

You sound like you're being so strong by putting your new job and the wedding first. I hope you're okay underneath all those layers! What was the MRI test for - I don't remember reading about that?

I have been thinking about @Boboelephant too and hoping things are okay.

You may remember we are Guide Dog boarders - getting a new doggy today! Our first one stayed with us longer than she was supposed to so we had her for most of July - December which was nice. She helped me to get through the second miscarriage. I feel like this is a fresh start and a new dog for a new beginning. I'll post a pic later 😊

Hello ladies! @KnitKitty, @strawberrye and @RedRobin7 thank you for asking after me. I have been thinking of you all but I fell off the thread in December around my one year anniversary of being on it/last MC and then wasn't sure how to come back. I logged in a few times but felt I couldn't keep up!

As I've said previously I'm in a very different place now to most on the thread as it's been 13 months since my last loss and have secondary infertility but I still feel very invested in my penguin pals.

I'm so sorry to see so many new names and some of familiar ones still here. @Lilimum6 sending hugs love- so sorry to see you've had another loss.
@RedRobin7 so happy DH has changed his mind and yay for new dogs!
@KnitKitty good luck for the new job tomorrow!!!

No lucky bfp for me but since my appt with the fertility doc in Nov I've just been waiting to start IVF. We were away over Christmas and the clinic closed so it was a matter of waiting for Dec AF to start and then wait for day 21 of that cycle. Which is today!! So I have had my first sniff of my sniffing drugs this morning which shuts down the ovaries and I carry on until AF starts. Then it's scan and injections time. Let's hope that this is it and the last 2.5 years of trying for number 2 will end with an October baby!! 🤞🌈🤞🌈

Big love to all and hugs to those who need it 🐧🐧

@Boboelephant hello hun thanks for your kind words. Fingers crossed 🤞 for that bfp soon. I really hope that the ivf works for you x I'm pleased to say that
Please stay with us, all the 🐧's are rooting for you and I would really like to keep contact with you hun x

@Laney79 Thanks, I'm trying to be in a good place. It's working most of the time.

@strawberrye I'm doing some crochet at the moment. I started a rainbow blanket but the yarn I got off the internet was too coarse to be a blanket. I stopped making it before it was big enough to be a blanket; so I donated it to a LGBT charity and they've got it hanging up on one of their office walls!
I'm currently making a different blanket but want to try making some stuffed toys I think.

@RedRobin7 The symptoms could well be psychological since you know there's a small possibility. I've found I have faaaar fewer symptoms each month when not TTC, probably just because I'm not looking out for them. Although I was getting pregnant almost every cycle last year, so maybe they were always genuine symptoms. It's so hard all this wanting a baby business.
Yes the pea reference did take my breath away for a second.
I'm so sorry you're still finding things so difficult, but I am really pleased your hubby has said you can try again. I'm really glad you're getting counselling. Take care of yourself.
And Yey! on getting another guide doggy today!!! Enjoy!
I am genuinely doing a lot better. The pause with TTC is actually helping and I do have lots of distractions going on... I'm not sure I'd be doing so well without the distractions. But of course, I do still have moments and it is still hard.

I had two MRIs, one in December to look at my abdomen; I think mostly so RMC could see what shape and size my womb is. And I had one a week ago to look at my pitruitary gland as the bloods done at RMC showed significantly elevated levels of prolactin and it can be caused by a benign tumour on the pitruitary gland. So that's also why I've been referred to endocrinology.
I spoke to my RMC consultant's secretary today to check if I'll get any results through the post or if I have to wait for an appointment. She said that normally it is a case of needing an appointment and she apologised as normally the second appointment is booked on the day that you have the first one, but the department is a bit all over the place as the doctor who usually does the RMC (just one?!?) has been off on long-term sick and so other doctors have been sporadically running the clinic when they can. So she's going to keep an eye out for the results of my second MRI, and said I would be contacted sooner if they needed to, and she's going to try and push along getting an appointment time for me.
I guess I'm just learning patience at the moment.

Boboelephant Great to hear from you. I've only been on sporadically recently too. I'm so pleased you're starting IVF now. I have absolutely everything crossed for you!!! I really think that the only problem was you ovulating on the 'wrong' side each month so I'm really hopeful that IVF will work. Sending lots of big penguin cuddles! xxx

Well I think this mc might well happen naturally (fingers crossed 🤞) which would be great as I really don't need anymore interventions. Woke up today to cramps and pink spotting so hopefully it'll get going quickly. Is it really bad that I'm just numb to this now, it's like this is what happens I get obsessed with ttc, get a bfp and wait to mc, repeat. I'm starting to wonder if I should just accept that it's not going to happen for me and get on with it 😢

@Lilimum6 thank you lovely. I'm so sorry it's happening but I do hope your body is able to let go of this one naturally. Sorry if I've gotten this wrong but I feel like you have had two DC where the pregnancies were successful. Have the docs been able to shed any light on why you keep MC'ing now after having them?
@KnitKitty I love that you donated your rainbow crochet and they hung it on the wall. Great story! Sorry that you are being faffed about with the appointments but I hope you get results soon. Patience is a good virtue to have I guess! Thanks hun, I hope so. Hopefully this process will bypass the tube issue and have a happy ending 🤞

@Boboelephant no hun waiting for the referral now and I'm thinking of pushing for Tommy's in Coventry too

@Lilimum6 good luck. I hope you get the referral and some answers. I can't decide if it's better or worse knowing that your body CAN do this. Part of me looks at my DS and thinks yes you know that you can do this so it is going to work eventually. The other part thinks how the hell is it so hard now when it was so easy before!?

@Boboelephant @KnitKitty Great to hear from you both!

Good luck with the IVF @Boboelephant and let me know if you have any questions about my experience.

@KnitKitty it sounds like they are making (slow) progress with your investigations, hopefully you are getting answers that will enable you to move forward.

@Laney79 Glad you are feeling a bit better. :)

@strawberrye A TSH of 60?! When will they test again to see if it comes down?

@Lilimum6 Fingers crossed your body is able to complete this miscarriage naturally.

Sorry for all those I haven't mentioned individually.

I'm only sporadically on this thread since I'm not TTC at the moment and struggle to keep up with it at the best of times. I was very lucky to get a cancellation so have already been seen at the recurrent miscarriage clinic, now waiting on a whole bunch of investigations. I'm also having some counselling as I still have symptoms of post traumatic stress.

I hope 2019 is treating you all kindly. x

@TinyPaws nice to hear from you! I've been wondering about you and how you're getting on. I'm glad that you got a cancellation and are getting tests. I hope you get some answers soon. Also I think counselling is a great idea. This malarkey takes its toll.
@strawberrye I missed that. 60!? That's crazy. I hope the levothyroxine sorts it out quickly.

Hi ladies,

Sorry I've been awol- had the flu over new year and it really floored me. I'm sad to see so many new joiners to the thread, sending all my love your way.

@lilimum6 really sorry to hear of your recent loss. I hope you're bearing up.

@redrobin7 glad to hear that you are back ttc, got everything crossed! I really want to see a pic of the doggy :)

@knitkitty sounds like you have a lot going on but it's all very thorough. DH sees an endocrinologist at UCLH and they are incredible. I hope you have some answers soon and you can start ttc again. It will all be worth it, I'm sure of it x

Like our dear @boboelephant I am embarking on IVF. It all came about so suddenly- we got approved for one funded cycle and have our first appointment at the end of the month. I feel quite unprepared, was expecting months of waiting. I also don't have a job right now and wondering if it's wise to start a new contract whilst going through all this. @bobo I hope to be joining you on the infertility board as soon as I know my protocol! @tinypaws I hope you're doing ok, and that I get to chat to you soon for your next round (when you decide the time is right). Glad to hear that you got a cancellation and they are investigating.

I do feel fully recovered from my mmc last year but gosh I saw my childhood friends over Christmas and they were incredibly insensitive. One of the girls has a baby and the other is pregnant, and then there is me. She literally would not stop going on about her baby and asking the other friend all about her pregnancy. I'm honestly fine with pregnancy and babies but jesus, for four hours, and not being able to join in. And them knowing that I can't join in with their excitement. She didn't once ask about me. I was hurt because I felt my oldest friends had no real clue what I was going through. I'm not going to see them for a long while I think and I'm going to mute the whatsapp group. My other friends with babies are not like this. Sorry for rant.

@Boboelephant nail on the head I don't understand either x
@TinyPaws thanks hun hope your investigation sheads some light for you
@KnitKitty sounds like they are slowly getting somewhere now. How is your new job?
@strawberrye what's is tsh and what could 60 mean I don't know anything about it.
@Mistymeow sorry you have been unwell and I understand how you feel about your friends. My best friend has 7 kids from age 17 to 1 and I'm so jealous of her and she is a fantastic mum like supermum xx

@KnitKitty that sounds amazing about you donating your rainbow work of art to the local LGBT group!

@TinyPaws @boboelephant @Lilimum6 yup 60! Mental isn't it? No wonder why I was feeling so shattered and depressed before Christmas! @Lilimum6 TSH stands for thyroid stimulating hormone, its basically how hard your body is having to work to get your thyroid to work. Normal range is something like 0.5-5.0 but should be

@strawberrye wow yours was high. Thanks for your reply. I don't really know much about how it affects pregnancy though but I assume that it is very bad