TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

[Yukka]

New Thread as we're at 988 messages on thread 26. we'll do a quick roll call:
Age 39
TTC x1
MC x 3 = Sept + Dec 2017 + May 2018
Currently pregnant again 5w4ds
Diagnosed with APS/Hughes Syndrome. On Asprin since October and start Heparin tomorrow. First scan Monday.

xx

Thinking of you @MeghanV07 big handhold coming your way x

Thank you ladies.

I've booked a private scan for 9am tomorrow morning. Please keep me in your thoughts ❤️

Do you think my body remembers it miscarried at the same gestation last time and it could be a threatened miscarriage? wishful thinking

Hello ladies.

Sorry to see some new ladies here.

@MeghanV07 sending you a hand hold. Fingers crossed all is well.

@Russkispy sorry you had a BFP. Hope next month is your month.

@Lilimum5 glad you finally got the BFP so you can reset. I really feel for you with everything you've been through.

Sorry I can't catch up with everything that has happened, things move so fast.

I dropped off the thread for a few weeks as have been finding things really difficult and still am. Had first AF since second mc last month and been really struggling. Faking a smile every day is exhausting. Can't accept that I'm supposed to be 35 weeks with first baby and have had another loss. Can't get myself to feel Christmassy, I'm just wanting this awful year to be over. Dreading my due date next month. I just feel like I have pregnancies and babies been shoved down my throat everywhere I turn yet people just expect me to be ok now. I've even been told recently that at least I can get pregnant so someone with fertility problems and likely to never be able to is in a worse situation than me! I mean WTF!

Sorry for the moan, I just needed somewhere to vent.

Is it bad that this is the first year DH and I haven't sent a single Christmas card?

@InDreamland thank you ❤️. I'm
Sorry you're having an awful time. I can't decide what's worse sometimes, getting pregnant and loosing a baby? Or not being able to get pregnant? I think they're both as bad as each other in there own ways & people who say the 'at least you can get pregnant that's not the problem' use it as an excuse. They are the people that will never understand how we feel in the fact that we feel our bodies are failing us.

Sorry for the long reply. But emosh this evening 😂

*bit

@MeghanV07 thank you. That's just how I feel too. I just feel like what's the point in getting pregnant if I can't keep them? This heartache of 2 losses after 5 years of being unable to get pregnant is really screwing with my head. 2019 is gonna be so hard too with 2 babies due dates to cope with and first anniversary of the losses.

Got a static smiley on OPK this morning so looks like first cycle after last months loss is so far normal.

Thinking of you @MeganV07 I have everything crossed that it's good news for you today X

Good luck for this morning @MeghanV07 - I really hope you get good news.

I’m CD13 and have a horrible cold. Is that likely to mean I’m out this month? Can being unwell prevent conception? I’ve googled but can only find other mad internet posters asking about it.

I’m so sorry that so many of us are finding this week difficult. Our baby’s memorial plaque just went up in our local SANDS butterfly garden and we visited it for the first time yesterday. It was tough . Lots of love to everyone struggling at the moment xx

Thinking of you this morning @MeghanV07 hope it’s good news x

@makelemonade - having a cold can delay ovulation, but don't think it's effects conception as such, I remember reading somewhere that a very early pregnancy sign can be sniffles and feeling a bit coldy, and it's because your body is letting it's guard down so you can accept the implantation rather than fight it as if it's an infection, that's very basic and may be completely wrong but it makes sense in a way!

@MakeLemonade I was sick around ovulation the month I got pregnant so I think you're still in with a chance :)

Good luck today @MeghanV07. I have my fingers crossed for you

I'm out this month :( oh well, at least I can enjoy Christmas. I've just got an ava tracker so hopefully I'll have better luck next year.

We saw a heartbeat and saw the baby almost as soon as she put it on the screen. I've never cried so much in my life.

I know I'm not in the clear yet & still have a few weeks to go but I feel like I can relax a little. Thank you for your well wishes ladies xxxx

That's the best news @MeghanV07 so happy for you, you must be so relieved.

@Dimblebimble that's good advice, I'm trying. Had a nice long lie in today and a glass of wine last night. Am so obsessed with preserving the best chances that I worry about drinking which ttc, but at least I'll have a glass on Christmas Day now xx

I am so pleased for you @MeghanV07 that must be such a relief. Enjoy Christmas!

Really sorry to hear of the recent bfns and losses. Hard also to see all the families and pregnant ladies, especially this time of year. No Christmas miracle for me but I’m feeling optimistic. I’ve sent off the ivf paperwork so in three months I should be good to go. DH says if it doesn’t work we will go private. So I have hope for 2019. But I’m also glad that I was pregnant this year, even for just 9 weeks, because it means we can conceive. That means a lot.

I hope everyone manages to have a nice Christmas and new year, even though it is hard. I will probably move to the infertility board shortly but will pop in on you all. Now I’m off to stuff my face with cheese and watch Christmas films :)

@MeghanV07 that's wonderful news hun sending you lots and lots of positive thoughts and super sticky baby glue xxx

I have no Christmas spirt, thought it might have arrived by now but no .

As for me still no ovulation or proper AF I'm lost and don't know what to do. Is there anything I can do to make AF arrive so I can reset. Hpt - ve so that's not the problem, think I might be broken 😕. But I am super emotional and just cry a lot, especially when I have a shower. After the mc in October I took to crying in the shower so other people wouldn't see me. I've found that when people see a weakness they fall on you like vultures telling you their opinions which usually consist of "maybe you should stop putting yourself and everyone else through this all the time" or" maybe you should take the hint it's not working and just abopt". So crying in the shower has become an awful habit.

Plus side I decided to take that one day bleed as af for the purpose of starting the cycle on my clearblue fertility monitor. And today was the first test day but at least I'm in control of something even if it is only peeing on a stick as the temping is not going well as all.

Honestly ladies have you ever seen such a sorry chart. The 5 first days aren't af they are medical management for the 2nd time because of retained products. I know I've missed a few days but even so it looks like no ovulation at all. What do you ladies think

@Lilimum5 My first cycle after medical management was anovulatory, I still had low levels of pregnancy hormones present, but after an atypical light “period” my next cycle was normal, hopefully the same will be true for you. At any rate I’d don’t think what you’re experiencing is abnormal after everything your body’s been through.

Great news @Meghan07! So pleased for you.

I know nothing about charts I’m afraid @Lilimum5 but I’m sorry that you’re so frustrated and feeling lost. I felt the same post TFMR and reflexology/acupuncture/time did manage to get me back on track fairly quickly but I was lucky enough not to have any complications. You’ve had a rough ride, hopefully in the next week or so it’ll all be a bit clearer.

@Wearytree I’m also worrying a bit about drinking whilst ovulating but had a glass of wine and champagne today. I don’t want to make the festive period any more miserable that it already is by being sober!

I’m new to using opks - would you consider this positive? I’m CD13 and usually have a 27 day cycle.

@MakeLemonade - almost positive I would say

@MeghanV07 yay! We saw our little bean at 7+4 and it was lovely!

Hello everyone,

Can I join you all?

I'm 34
TTC #2
Miscarried last Oct at 6+4
AF due January 4th
Xxx

@MakeLemonade I think that's almost almost there. This cycle I tested using OPKS every few hours after they started to get darker... I had one like yours nearly there and then a definite positive two hours later. I definitely ovulated as I got a good day 21 progesterone result from blood test.

I am actually getting ridiculous about making the best chance... I'm so jumpy about everything ☹️ if I sneeze after 7DPO I'm worried I've displaced anything there. So stupid. Also, poor DH isn't allowed to put his heated seat on in the car and I'm stressing about him drinking too much at the PILs over Christmas. I've got a repeat blood test for FSH tomorrow and I'm now stressing about that being high again and stressing that the stressing will make it worse. Also, day 3 of AF and no more blood so stressing that will encourage the FSH to kick in. I'm actually a right mess.

Any tips for being calm and relaxed anyone?

Just realised I wrote 'stressing' five times in this post.

Thanks both. I did another one and now it’s not as dark, strange. Unless I caught it on the downward surge? I’ll see what tomorrow brings and try and pull all my best moves on DH so I’ve got it covered either way

Good luck for your blood test @Wearytree - I find meditation very relaxing and good for when I am stressing. In particular this one: www.thehormonaltherapist.co.uk/product/deep-relaxation-audio-recording/ - might be worth a try? It always gets me to sleep really quickly!

@Lilimum5 I totally get how upset and frustrated you must feel... it took me 9.5 weeks after my ERPC to get AF - i charted the whole time and all my bbt's were low.. each day was a new level of depressing. i finally ovulated 7 weeks later and am just finishing AF now but it felt like the longest wait where you can do absolutely nothing to hurry it on. You just desperately want it to come so you can at least try and look forward and the mc to fully be over... There's nothing we can say to change it or make you feel different but it can be totally normally to have an anovulatory cycle or not ovulate for ages... When it finally happens which it will you will feel some relief..
I'm worried now my cycles are all going to be 9 weeks long which is the frustrating thing about it - the waiting to TTC again! Also my AF was weird it was so heavy day 1, then stopped after day 2 but now 6 days later I'm getting some spotting! I presume this is my body just getting back into the swing of things but it's just miserable