TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

[Yukka]

New Thread as we're at 988 messages on thread 26. we'll do a quick roll call:
Age 39
TTC x1
MC x 3 = Sept + Dec 2017 + May 2018
Currently pregnant again 5w4ds
Diagnosed with APS/Hughes Syndrome. On Asprin since October and start Heparin tomorrow. First scan Monday.

xx

@rdm10 I'm so sorry this happened to you again. I'm sending you hugs and healing thoughts xx

Oh @rdm10 so so sorry to hear this. This really sucks. We were August birthday twins right? I think my user name was Doddlebobs then. I'm just back in the fold here too.

2019 must be an improvement on 2018 which is easily the worst year of my life. Back to work after mat leave, a bully for a boss, 3MC, V ill DF (much better now), brexit looming... good bloody riddance pardon my French.

@Chilliandlime will be thinking of you today. I hope it goes well. Are you going home for it or staying in?

@Yukka Fantastic news! I hadn't caught up that you were pregnant!! I hope this is a keeper.
Good tip on the aspirin as that was recommended to me to try too from bfp but might as well pitch in earlier: what do you think - from ovulation or just straight away?

Hang on - incoming toddler with dirty nappy... the joys

@rdm10 So sorry for your loss.

I 'should' be 6+2 now, had an August due date but never joined the thread as I felt that something was wrong for the beginning.

So scared that I'll never be able to have a live baby. When I thought about what 2018 might have in store for me, I never dreamed it would be 3 miscarriages/CPs.

Morning ladies,
I've been off mumsnet for a while but just tried to catch up a bit. I'm so sorry to read about those who have had losses and difficulties in the last few weeks, it's heartbreaking.
I'm feeling really low this morning after BFN at 15dpo. I really thought this was it as had loads of symptoms this month. After the higher than they'd like fsh I had progesterone on day 20- guess I'll ring up today to get the results and hope I'm actually ovulating since the mc in September. I've just got this feeling of utter terror that it's not going to work again and I'm 38 in January. I'm sure I'm suffering from anxiety (racing heartbeat, sick feeling, burst in to tears whenever I'm anywhere near a doctor) which I know makes it even less likely. If I just had one baby in my life that would be enough.
Now waiting for AF and now another fsh test Christmas Eve probably which will just send me in to even more anxiety.
Sorry for the moan ladies, I'm just feeling so low and feel like I've left it too late. Any tips to pick myself up and stop getting so panicky?

Sorry for the silence ladies. Morning sickness had got the better of me. Will try to reply to everyone now ❤️

@Yukka glad your bean had a strong heartbeat. That must have been a relief ❤️ interesting fact too, thank you for that 😘

@OctoberGirl91 congratulations lovely! Fingers crossed for a sticky baby 🤞🏼💫

@Justincase87 how are you doing?

I'm so sorry @rdm10 will keep you in my thoughts 😘

@Lilimum5 how are you doing lovely? Xx

I'm currently 7+1. Had my miscarriage back in September at 7+3 so I'm feeling a little bit crap. Very emotional 🥺. I stopped checking CM & cervical position when I got my 3+ weeks on clear blue, checked my CP this morning and it feels soft and open and now I'm worrying this is another miscarriage waiting to happen. I know your cervix is soft in pregnancy but it's just frightening me so much. Since I had my DS it always has been slightly open so I can't really tell if it's fully open or just from child birth before. I'm just convinced I'm going to get to my 12 week scan and for them to turn the monitor off and say 'sorry'. I've had terrible sickness with this pregnancy which I didn't have with my mc & had with my DS. So taking it as a good sign, but I know you can still have symptoms and still have a missed miscarriage. I'm just worrying so much now. Sorry for the long post xx

@Wearytree I'm sorry you're feeling low. I have no advice on ways to stop you feeling sad as I'm the worst for it! Sending you lots of love xx

Sorry I haven't replied to everyone, I decided not to contact the EPU, the bleeding stopped after 24 hours and coincided with a bowel movement so I decided I would wait it out, I couldn't cope with being told my baby didn't have a heartbeat just before Christmas. I've had a few pains but no more bleeding this week, but symptoms have faded a bit but still vaguely there, I'm not holding much hope for my 12 week scan but I want to enjoy Christmas with my wonderful DH who has put up with so much shit from me this year between obsessing over miscarriage to obsessing over TTC etc. My scan is on 31st December and a close friend of mine is due the first week of January so I'm terrified that my management will coincide with the birth, but I'm trying to prepare myself now. Part of me hopes there is a little wriggly baby there but I can't think about it right now.

Thank you @MeghanV07 I can imagine that feeling I lost my baby at 7+4 and I'm already worrying don't really have any symptoms slightly tender boobs and bit gassy.

You having a scan at any point? I'm going ask for one around 9 weeks I think at EPU.

@Justincase87 Fx you'll see your healthy baby such a difficult time the first few weeks. Enjoy your Christmas 🎄 xx

Thank you @MeghanV07 it's so hard not to worry, but hang in there and once you're past the time of the last mc hopefully you will feel a little bit better? If I ever get pregnant again I think I'll be exactly the same.

Got my progesterone day 21 results back and I'm ovulating, which I'm really relieved about. It was 57, which is good apparently. The poor doctor is fed up with me and my endless questions though. x

First month back ttc and having back pain, bloating and general period like cramping at 5dpo. Literally feels like my period's about to start 😬These were my symptoms last time, though they started a couple of days later. Really hoping it's a good sign, but also aware that 5dpo is probably to early to have any symptoms, right?

Hope you are all doing okay, Christmas time can be so difficult. Virtual hugs and baby dust to all 🧚🏻‍♂️

Sorry it wasn't your month @Wearytree I find it helpful to focus on something else, either something that will make me more prepared for children (e.g. working hard towards a promotion at work, saving money and paying off the mortgage, learning to cook, getting generally more organised) or doing something I won't be able to do/do as often when the bfp/kids come along (e.g. eating sushi or stinky soft cheeses, going out for drinks, having a lazy sunday lie in with dh) xx

Me again 🙊😖 looking for some advice. After the mc and a couple of chemicals I'm generally against testing early. I don't drink regularly but am planning to on Xmas day and New Year's Eve. My period is due the day before New Year's Eve, so I guess I could take a test in the morning if it still hasn't shown. But Xmas day is 9 dpo. Last time I got a clear positive on a frer at 10dpo (didn't test before that so don't know if it would have shown). I'm conscious of drinking alcohol if I'm pregnant enough to show on a test. Would you test Xmas eve/Xmas morning or just wait it out?

Evening ladies,

Sorry I haven't been around for a couple of weeks. Just wanted to say I popped in to catch up on all of your news. There's too much to catch up on to reply individually to people, so sending big hugs to those having a tough time (which I'm sorry to see seems to be a lot of you at the moment).

Special hugs for those of you going through a loss at the moment.
Those of you who are nervously pregnant; stay strong ladies. I'm wishing you the best.

And just wanted to congratulate @Lilimum5 for finally getting a negative test. Hopefully things will get better now. xxx

I had my MRI on Tuesday but don't get the results until I have my next RMC check, but I don't have an appointment through for that yet! Luckily life is keeping me really busy at the moment so I'm not thinking about the TTC/RMC stuff very much at the moment.

Trying to get in the Christmas mood and totally failing... Just looking forward to 2018 ending to be honest.
2019 looks set to have a positive start; I'll be starting a new job at last, and my sister gets married in April so have lots to do to help with the planning for that. Just focusing on those things right now.

Sorry if I'm not around much. Not TTC makes me feel a bit out of the loop at the moment.

@KnitKitty thanks hun.

The AF I reported here a few days ago never got going and stopped after 1 1/2 days and never got more than spotting to light but I've had cramps ever since. Today is the day fertility friend app and ovia app says I should be getting AF so we will see. I don't know if I should count the bleed as AF or wait longer. Today is exactly 26 days sincey last medical management. And my cycles are normally 24 to 26 days. It feels like forever since my medically managed mc back in October and I really don't know what is going on, but at least the hpts are finally negative.

I'm totally ready for this awful year to be over and I'm praying that next year is better ( it has to be it couldn't get any worse)

Has anyone had a mc that started then stopped? How long until it started again?

I started bleeding on Wednesday then the pain and bleeding really ramped up on Thursday and I passed what I thought was everything. Although devastated to be miscarrying I was pleased to have it over before Christmas. Or so I thought...

had a scan yesterday and apparently I’m not even ‘actively miscarrying’ yet. They can’t even offer me a medical or surgical option because the scan still showed an ‘echo’ and the sac was actually bigger than at last weeks scan. Although it has moved towards the ‘exit’ so it’s classed as an inevitable miscarriage. I’m still bleeding and cramping but only like a typical period.

So I’m basically waiting around to miscarry and with the way 2018 has gone, it’s going to happen on Christmas Day isn’t it!? 😢

@rdm10 really sorry to hear about your mc, it’s very sad and not an ideal time of year. My last mc took around a week and a half to complete. I passed a lit of blood and clots and lots of pain first few days, and thought it’s was done, I assumed the baby must have died Much earlier earlier than I was in weeks as I didn’t pass anything embryo like. I went for a scan though in day 4 and it showed the sac was sitting at the top of my cervix, and would pass through soon. It happened about 2 days later although I think if I’d been more active than I was gravity may have helped it pass sooner. After that I bled lightly until it faded 3/4 days later. I think if you were about 8 weeks you do have longer to go but hopefully if the pain has stopped then it won’t come back and nature will take its course. I hope for you it happens before Xmas day xxxx wear a big pad and go for long walks xxx

@rdm10 sorry to hear you're having a tough and confusing time! Miscarriages aren't easy at all. They're never text book and they hurt each time just as much as the 1st.

Hand held needed ladies. I'm 7+2 and have started bleeding 😞 I knew this pregnancy was too good to be true. I had to ring 111 as I rang triage and they suggested 111. So currently waiting for a call back from out of hours. Hoping they'll get me in for a scan xx

Oh @meghanV07 I'm so sorry, keeping everything is crossed - just to warn you you may not get a scan at the weekend, but I hope they can offer you some support. Massive tight handhold for you, is it bleeding or spotting? Thinking of you X

@Justincase87 okay thank you. It was blood streaked EWCM. But that's exactly how my last miscarriage started which is why I'm panicking. I had some period type cramps last night and my symptoms have started to stop. I'm just so worried 😞

@MeghanV07 really sorry. I looked online and found a local hospital that usually did weekend scans as the EPG was open at the weekend when I needed it but seems often the EPG isn't open at all at the weekend and in my experience A&E won't scan

I've tried some places that do private scans and they're all booked for today 😭

I knew this pregnancy was too good to be true 😔💔

@rdm10 I'm so sorry lovely. With my last loss I had several days in a row where I'd have an hour or two of extreme pain and blood loss/clots and then it would stop and just be like a medium/light period flow. Then a couple of days after the last big bout of pain I went to the loo and passed my bow in her sac and a couple more clots, with no pain at all. The bleeding slowed right down after that and stopped 6 days later xxx

@meghan07 thinking if you lovely. Really hope it’s just a blip. If it’s inky just started then a scan might not tell you anything for a day or two, I expect if you’re not in any pain the usual advice is to wait and see (which means call EPU on Monday in our book) xx

@Yukka thank you. I've now got cramps and symptoms have disappeared so I'm not holding out much hope. Just if it is another mc, I want it to hurry up and get on with it. Can't imagine we will try again. I can't go through it a 3rd time 😞

@MeghanV07 so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve got everything crossed that everything will be ok. Do any of the big hospitals near you have an emergency gynaecology unit? There’s one in manchester that’s open 24/7.
I know what you mean about not being able to go through it again, I thought the same after my 2nd but bizarrely I’ve found this 3rd loss easier- probably because I never let myself believe it would end any way other than in loss.

@Laney79 and @Yukka sorry you’ve been through the same but thank you for sharing your stories. Hopefully, if this one does drag on for a while it might not be so painful as to ruin Christmas Day 🤞

I remember you @awakeatnight sorry you’re back here too.