TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

[Yukka]

New Thread as we're at 988 messages on thread 26. we'll do a quick roll call:
Age 39
TTC x1
MC x 3 = Sept + Dec 2017 + May 2018
Currently pregnant again 5w4ds
Diagnosed with APS/Hughes Syndrome. On Asprin since October and start Heparin tomorrow. First scan Monday.

xx

May I join?

TTC #1
MMC October '18
Cycle 2 since then, currently CD17

We conceived in cycle 2 of trying last time. Just taking things slowly and trusting our bodies. I have been using Flo and also OPKs since CD12 line was slightly darker today. Ovulation expected CD19-21 so I'm in my fertile week now. Going to try and hold off testing until the New Year if at all possible! I am also starting some counselling sessions in January which will be helpful in processing all that's happened.
Sending baby dust to all and hugs to those who need

Well I've had a really strange day.

I had an epu appointment and I was told my hcg number is 15 and my scan was clear. So midwife states " as your numbers are under 25 I can close your failed pregnancy case" it was a bit upsetting to be honest. She then said "crack on if you wish to try again"
So I then get home a bit emotional to discover I'm now cd1 of first AF finally after 3 procedures post mmc in October . I think the iron tablets are starting to work because I'm not as tired as I was. So providing that the blood test results are good on Wednesday I'm officially back on the ttc train, let the crazy begin.
The only problem is that I can't work out if I'm happy or sad about this.

@Lilimum5 totally understandable that you have mixed emotions and feel confused at this stage. Sending hugs, and glad your body is going to allow things to get back to normal physically.

Also I saw this today and thought you might all like to read it - to the girl with baby on her Christmas list www.asweetaromablog.com/2014/12/to-girl-with-baby-on-her-christmas-list.html?m=1

I feel that was a mistake to read that lovely blog post at work... Time to hide for a little while.

Coming up to a second Christmas of trying with only the 3 weeks of a BFP back in March to show for it. Due to start Clomid, but after 6 cycles of exactly 32 days, (after years of irregular periods) AF is refusing to rear her ugly head. She is now 10 days late (3 tests taken, all with a single stripe) and I'm pretty sure she's preparing to stay with me over the holidays instead (the.... witch).

Utterly miserable atm and I'm really struggling to summon up anything resembling Christmas cheer. Not even bothered putting my Christmas decorations up. Why bother? It's usually only me who enjoys them anyway.

@Dyra sorry you are feeling so low. Sending you strength and a hug x

So sorry to hear you're feeling low @Dyra I am thinking of you

Thanks for the reply @Yukka I woke up to a really heavy period today, but my first since my ERPC 9 weeks ago. Strangely I'm feeling positive rather than sad, even though I was tracking through natural cycles app and we seemed to have sex at exactly the right time around my ovulation and it's still ended in a period - i guess I can just look at this that my body is getting back to itself after the MC. Only thing is I'm really worried that I'm now going to have really long cycles and it's going to take a long time till I next get a bfp

Sorry I am new to Mumsnet and realised I didn't really properly introduce

I'm 28 TTC #1 and had MMC in October this year with an ERPC. Had early scan at 5 and 7 weeks after some bleeding, the second scan confirmed heart beat and viability. Found out baby had died 8-9 weeks at 12 week scan with no signs. It was the hardest thing I've been through to date.

We got accidentally pregnant in August (why is it always so easy when you're not trying?!) but this whole situation has changed my outlook on what i want and now desperate to get back into TTC.. DH not quite sure ready for it but more so because he's not sure he's ready to go through the past few months again if we have another MC - he was ok with it but he said it's been very stressful worrying about me, as I've taken it pretty hard. I think about it every day and 7 people in my life have made baby announcements in the last few months, and I absolutely hate being jealous rather than just purely overjoyed for them.. Each day becomes a little easier though

Sending thoughts and love to all those on this thread going through such trying times and keeping all my fingers crossed for loads of bfp's soon

Hi everyone! Sorry for radio silence since my first post back. You know how it goes those first few days.

I had surgery yesterday and it seemed to go well. 90 mins of questions over bloods including talking to a research nurse about a trial we have contributed to (blood test for infection to assess how it might impact miscarriage) . The EPU nurses are so kind. I don't know how they hold it together day after day. I suppose more often than not they deal with happy outcomes and we are just (persistently) seeing the downside.

I'm dealing so much better this time as I just never let myself fall in love with the idea and was convinced there’d be bad news at the end. Not sure whether my body actually knew there was something wrong or whether my brain took over to protect itself and be ‘surprised’ by good news If you know what I mean? in the new (ish) year (theres about a three month waiting list) we will be going to see a consultant about why we are having so much trouble. I'm a bit torn whether to plough on straight away. Part of me thinks that we've just had terrible luck and waiting for RMC another possibly 6
Months with tests results and cycles just to 'keep trying' would be awful. But what if there's something they could give me to help a baby along? The nurse and consultant both said that they didn't think there was any harm in using aspirin and progesterone cream so I'll just hold out hope that that's enough if we do happen to catch again before too long.

Have purchased my opk, reset fertility friend (oh boy do they make that more
Difficult than it needs to be to not see your pregnant chart!!!) and hopefully back to it in a couple weeks. Ugh!

Thank you everyone for your support and advice, I'll try to actually answer some posts now :)

@Random2468 your story is similar to my first MMC - unplanned surprise must have ovulated super early. But we were so happy. Saw a healthy baby at 8+5 but at 12 week scan found it has died around 9+6. Devastated does not begin to cover it. I was also desperate to try again and launched in to opk and temping like a woman possessed (basically I was possessed!) but in hindsight I don't think that helped DH deal at all. Mostly I believe this process is about us though - the woman bears the baby and needs to know her body. Agree with you on baby announcements. It's so bloody hard. I'm living in a sea of pregnancy it seems. And now also paranoid about who's feeling I hurt/will hurt when it's our turn. I feel like we just can't win! @Yukka Has given some excellent advice though. You'll find this group a great source of knowledge and comfort.

@Dyra sorry to hear you are struggling and your AF is being a witch. You better order some extra Xmas chocolate in, you know - for medication when she arrives! Exciting times with Clomid though - I
Hope that's your answer. Sorry if you've been through this lower down the thread ignore me but do you know if/ when you ovulated?

@Lilimum5 you're allowed to be both happy and sad! The TTC train is a cruel ride particularly for us ladies that can't seem to catch a direct route! I'm happy for you that you finally got the 'all clear' but sad for what you've lost and share your fear of the potentially turbulent times ahead.

@Mumtobe89 Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Welcome and good luck!

@Russkispy sorry about BFN abut Good luck with that shagathon! Where's home for you if you don't mind me asking?

@fnej01 @OctoberGirl91 The gynae consultant surgeon told me yesterday, as did the EPU nurse that there's no known harm to taking baby aspirin (75mg) from conception to 12 weeks and to speak to the EPU as soon as you can for further advise.

@Justincase87 My heart goes out to you. How scary. have you had news yet?

@Laney79 Huge hugs to you. I'm so so sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. I know it's not as east as just being kind to yourself but small, positive steps can make a difference. Book a massage, go for a walk, have a cup of tea and a biscuit! But also to echo the other girls and say to look in to 'proper' counselling. I know it's hard. This is STILL on my to do list as well. The reflexologist I was seeing went some way to help but I don't think I can go back to her now as while the treatments and chat made me feel better, ultimately she hasn't fixed my body and isn't appropriately trained to heal my mind!

@fnej01 @SerenaOverjoyed Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I'll update once I know more about what's on the table for us.

Serena - congratulations! I hope all goes well for you. Did the RMC give you any advice for early pregnancy? Obviously we all have different issues but it seems the aspirin keeps coming back as a general 'aid'

Lots of love everyone - sorry to anyone I've missed. Will try to be more on the ball now! Xxx

@awakeatnight glad it all went well and good to hear your positivity for the upcoming weeks.
I was born in USSR (back then) but grew up in Riga from the age of 10. And left for Berlin when was 18, and for London when I was 21. And never went back. And here I am 42. With first failed IVF and no Frosties. But have my precious DD from my very first successful IUI in 2016. With a MMC from IUI this June. And 2 failed IUIs in October and November. And now failed IVF. I've picked myself up off the floor and will soldier on as I do. Just trying to work out what's next and best for me. Dad is visiting us end of January and that could have been my fresh round of IVF but maybe I step back and work on egg quality even more. I read some article about it last night and will post it shortly. From what I've read, I pretty much follow all of it. Although I bought something else after I read it. Will continue with acupuncture and reflexology and just throw anything and everything I've got! And will stay chilled (hate word relaxed in TTC world! It should be bloody banned!)

Here it is...
www.zitawest.com/improve-quality-of-my-eggs/

@Lilimum5, you were completely right, just been for my scan and they confirmed retained products two weeks after erpc. Thanks for the advice. Wasn't surprised as had bad cramping and bleeding the past two evenings. The midwife said I had to have a second one (which would be third in 5 months) and I burst into tears so she said the consultant will call me tomorrow to discuss options. Really glad you finally got the all clear.
Lots of love to everyone xx

@Chilliandlime I'm so sorry that I was right I was hoping it would be all clear for you hun x it's best to have it dealt with hun you really don't want an infection. I had medical management to deal with it and I wish I'd have gone with erpc instead. Please let me know how you get on hun xx

@awakeatnight and @strawberrye thanks for your understanding words. @strawberrye the link was a good read made me cry a lot though.
@Russkispy thanks for the link that was interesting reading.

How is everyone doing?

I had the results from my tests today. My inflammatory response levels are high and my iron count is down by 20% but other than that I'm super healthy. He technically the all clear from the doctor as well as the epu. Have to have repeat bloods in the new year but both say crack on with ttc.
My only consern is this period only lasted one day and its finished already, was that even a period or just a bleed? It would have been bang on for my cycle length pre mmc. So I'm not sure if I should count it as cd1 or cd25. Temping still isn't going well I'm still forgetting to do it before getting up. Arhhh. On the plus side I've bought asprin at 75mg ready and waiting for a bfp hopefully next year. Should I start taking it in advance just incase.

Russkipsy sorry about the bfn

Lilimum hooray for your bfn and clean bill of health! Did you push for a rmc referral again? They do many many more investigations, and you deserve proper jnvestigation by a specialist after your losses. Good luck on the fresh cycle.

Chilliandlime I'm so sorry. That's so unfair to have to go through this again. I'd definitely schedule a splurgey treat, you deserve it.

awakeatnight RMC have been useless tbh. Radio silence. I have an obstretrics apt on Monday to come up with a plan and check me over. I heard a obs registrar and midwife talk about m in a waiting room, the reg said "she is on asprin? She needs to be on asprin" when she only heard i had had mcs.

I'm ok. Have had 3 scans now, all looking good (for a splodge with a heartbeat!) and sitting at 8wks 5d. I am feeling both sick and ravenous most of the time. I have noticed I'm feeling cold in the evenings which is making me worried about my thyroid, especially after Dr Google told me this can lead to brain damage for baby. I'm adding it to my list for my midwife booking in tomorrow.

Welcome new ladies. I'm so sorry you find yourself here, but rest assured you are in safe hands on this thread.

I also got the green light from the doc to begin TTC this cycle! My blood work was good, iron is right up and it is CD9 for me today. What cycle day would you usually start to use opks? I usually have a 27/28 day cycle.

Thanks @awakeatnight I have read back through this thread and there is some great advice on here - especially interested in acupuncture

I've been reading back through and I'm so sorry @Justincase87 I can feel your pain, anxiety and heartache. Hoping you get some more information on what's happening soon

My AF seems to have stopped now? So was 2 days - woke up the first morning and it was very heavy with clots, but not much since? This is first AF 9 weeks post ERPC - was so upset it took so long when they say AF should arrive 4-6 weeks after the op. Have many other people had this long a cycle following MC?

Trying to stay positive but just seems reading this thread that everyone seems to have trouble conceiving or recurrent miscarriages after the first time it happens - which confirms what I feel - that I'm not going to have a baby any time soon.. contrary to what they tell you when they say this is very common and no reason to think you'll have any problems the next time. I thought I was feeling more positive when AF finally arrived but feeling really low today..

@MakeLemonade I would start now hun a 26 day cycle could be a cd12 ovulation if you start now you hopefully will not miss your LH surge. Good luck x

@serensoverjoyed great to hear all is going well so far. Keep that positive spirit up :)

@chilliandlime sorry you need more treatment is s real pain but I’m glad they identified it and can get you in quickly. You know it seems to happen an awful lot, I hope the research peeps are investigating better procedures xx

@lilimum5 great to hear you’re results! I would start aspirin now rather than wait for bfp to help with making a healthy uterus lining for implantation next cycle...but that’s based on my unproven theories...

@random2468 do bare in mind in these threads that those who have successful pregnancies move on so it’s reslly only those trying again that stick around. The stats remain in your favour for a healthy pregnancy next time so try and find comfort in that and take one thing at a time xx

I had my scan this morning and all looking great. Strong heartbeat and rate was as expected for this far, estimating 8w4d. Did you know the miscarriage association now states that women with recurrent mc have 98% success rate if there is a heartbeat at 8weeks... keep positive ladies.

My heparin treatment is going ok, stomach is literally purple but it doesn’t really hurt anymore. Going for bloods on Saturday then next scan on 3 jan. so hopefully I’m narrowing down the risks that are normal until I’ll just left with the APS condition to manage at 12 weeks onwards.

Finish work tomorrow and going home to family for a week, really looking forward to it and just resting.

Hope everyone else is ok, Christmas can be hard xx

Thanks @Lilimum5 and @SerenaOverjoyed, spoke to the head of the EPU today, she didn't really reassure me about the risks of third ERPC so we agreed to try medical management tomorrow and MVA in a week if the mm doesn't work - dreading the pain of both tbh but hoping it won't drag on too much longer.

@Random2468, so sorry to hear you are feeling low, it's true that there's no reason to think it'll happen again or that you won't get your bfp soon, but I know how hard it is to keep hopeful. I guess we're all on here as we're currently having a slightly longer and more difficult journey than some others, but we will get there xx

@Yukka thank you, it really does seem to be more common than they say. That's brilliant about your scan xx

I'm out for this month, both me and dp has been sick, and on top I now got urine infection - so no BD anywhere near ovulation. I think I may have to give a miss for next cycle too, because of some work changes. It's been almost exactly a year since I started, 2 MC this year and all in all not a great year, so hoping that 2019 have something better to offer!

So it seems ‘third time lucky’ isn’t true for me- currently going through mc3 of the year 😩😩😩
Should be 8 weeks tomorrow but started bleeding yesterday morning and I’m pretty sure I’ve ‘passed everything’ today.
I was expecting it to be honest, I didn’t have a single symptom then at my scan last week they were unsure if they could see a heartbeat or not. They booked me back in again for tomorrow so I’ll go but just to check my mc is complete.
So 2018 has ended the same way it started 😢
Here’s to a better 2019 for us all!

Sorry for your loss @rdm10

I really hope we all have a better 2019 🤞🏼

Sorry for your loss rdm10 xx