TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

[Yukka]

New Thread as we're at 988 messages on thread 26. we'll do a quick roll call:
Age 39
TTC x1
MC x 3 = Sept + Dec 2017 + May 2018
Currently pregnant again 5w4ds
Diagnosed with APS/Hughes Syndrome. On Asprin since October and start Heparin tomorrow. First scan Monday.

xx

Well ladies I think I'm out, I woke up this morning and wiped to find a clot and some pink blood - this is exactly what happened last time before we found out our baby had died. I'm gutted but deep down I know I won't ever be a mum. They won't scan here over the weekend, and I found seeing the OOH GP really traumatic last time so I'm going to hold out until Monday when the EPU opens.

@laney79 - please consider counselling, how you are feeling is led by your emotions at the moment which is perfectly understandable, you are not out of luck, just out of hope, you need to get that hope back somehow. Look after yourself, maybe take a deliberate break that you can have some control over, then get back when your head is in the right place. I know you feel you have the pressure of your age also, but despite what you read, many many ladies go on to have healthy happy babies in their 40s. Thinking of you X

Sorry don’t know why it posted a picture of DD sorry if that offends anyone I’ll try delete it x

Aww @Justincase87 I am so sorry to hear about bleeding fx it's just a bump in the road.

The anxiety is so bad I've only just got my positive test and after crying I have trying be realistic and want to try get past 7+4 which when lost my last baby. Sending you lots of love

@Laney79 definitely seek some counselling I was very angry for a while then felt hopeless and really hated myself and it was so consuming. Thinking of you be kind to yourself 💖xxx

@OctoberGirl91 congrats a lovely strong line. Fx for a happy healthy pregnancy. DD looks a real cutie

Thank you @fnej01 I hope it doesn't offend anyone I will try remove it, don't want to be insensitive I know how tough miscarriages are.

Anyone know if I should try baby aspirin 75mg? Only ever had one MC but would do anything to stop it happening again x

@OctoberGirl91 am sure no one will be offended.

My understanding of aspirin is it can do no harm. I was advised after first MC to take it as I was nearly 38, and it might help. If you do take it, just make sure you let midwife etc know as I think it might affect your blood results. No one batted an eyelid about it for me, although only got to early stage unfortunately since then, so didn't work for me! X

@justincase87 sorry to hear that, there other reasons you can pass a little clot though when pregnant, but see how you go And hopefully get to EPU Monday xx

@Octobergirl91 some trials in older women with no diagnosis showed that aspirin improved outcomes but they don’t know why. It does thin your blood though which they don’t think is harmful but I would speak to gp or midwife as a lot of this research is still quite new xx

@octobergirl91 oh and congrats!! X

Thank you I’ll speak to GP I’m only 27 but little bit over weight so that might help. I’ve got rid of photo of DD and this is the test. So anxious guys trying to take it Day by day xx

@OctoberGirl91 congratulations hun xx fingers crossed 🤞 for a healthy and happy pregnancy. Sending you strength and sticky bean glue xx

@OctoberGirl91 congratulations and everything crossed for you!

Thank you ladies just got we have a healthy baby 🤞🏻 I'll keep you updated good luck to anyone waiting to test and to anyone healing from miscarriage or loss sending my love 💖 such a shit road we have to travel but hopefully there is light at end of tunnel for us all xx

Just hope* auto correct

Thank you to all of you that sent lovely messages about my appointment. The paperwork arrived today for funding, just hope being 2 lbs off the BMI lower limit will be ok. The consultant didn't seem too concerned but said it would be helpful if I could put on a little more weight. I hope the CCG allow a bit of flexibility.

@awakeatnight I am so sorry to read your news. How are you doing?
@TinyPaws I also have intrusive thoughts/nightmares about the scan I had (my sonographer was like ice and made me feel stupid). It was so distressing. I find it helps when an intrusive thought pops into my head, I replace it with a thought of the positive people who helped me (the kind midwives, the nurses that had jokes with me).

@OctoberGirl91 congrats on your BFP! I would imagine a low dose of aspirin can't do any harm but I'm not at all medical- probably best you get advice from your GP.
@justincase87 Sorry to hear you have had a bleed. I'm very much hoping you get positive news on monday at the EPU. I will be thinking of you.
@Laney79 As the others have said, I also feel you would benefit from some counselling. You both need support and time to recover from what has happened this year, which has been relentless. What's making everything worse is the pressure of time running out, and feeling you must have something wrong with you because you are in that rare category of having two mmc. Of course you feel like the odds are against you, and have lost faith in your body. All normal feelings from what you have gone through. But I believe it would really help you to unpick these feelings with someone who understands. Regarding DH and pressure- it's very difficult. How do you relieve pressure in a pressurised situation? Sorry for the tmi, but have you considered a pot and syringe during fertile time if dh isn't feeling up to being intimate? I have done this with my DH if he is working late, and when he is unable to finish DTD (mainly due to his condition and fluctuating hormones). We make light of it but it does take the pressure off and means we are still in with a shot every month. I thought I would mention it in case it's an option, although my main concern is your DH is clearly suffering too and you both need help. Sending hugs x

Hi all!
New to Mumsnet
Had a missed miscarriage in October.. had a D&C and haven’t got my period since. Been charting and looks like I’m 10dpo now. Last time I found out I was pregnant at exactly 4 weeks and then after 2 initial scans (due to 2 weeks of spotting which then stopped at 6 weeks) found out the baby had died 8-9 weeks at the 12 week scan. Just wondering if anyone else feels whether testing too early is actually worse than just waiting and seeing if I get any pregnancy symptoms? I just don’t want to become too attached too soon... Wednesday will be 14 days dpo but wondering if I just wait and see if still don’t have a period by then? I think I’ll probably have an idea if no period but basal temp remains high but just not sure whether to officially test yet, maybe having the early knowledge is actually more stressful than not! Anyone who’s felt similar?

@random2468 hi and sorry you’ve had a miscarriage but welcome to the group. I’d say every woman on here has felt the same and sadly the same debate will probably stay with you each cycle until you conceive again! The whole experience brings mixed emotions and it’s really down to how ready you feel to get an answer and being ready to deal with bfn’s aswell as the bfps. Equally you can test too early and get a false negative or you period could be a little late and your hopes are up. Cycles can be a little off kilter straight after mc too.

What ever you decide to do, keep us posted! And good luck!

@OctoberGirl91 congrats only just seen this, just in time for Christmas too xx

I am having another bad month as i got a positive OPK on CD6 which has to be far too early....feeling like I'm already out this month x

Thank you @DayDreamer1707 did a CB and got pregnant 1-2 this morning although I'm anxious woke up at 2am last night with wave of extreme nausea and then since 6am had constant lower backache above my buttock should I be worried?xx

@OctoberGirl91 no don't be worried, that's pregnancy. I know it's hard but you have to remember to stay positive and you will get the odd ache, your body is growing a baby and will be going through lots of changes. Embrace the feeling like poop, you will get the best reward in the end. x

It's BFN for me. Of course gutted but soldier on. Waiting to hear from the doctor. Think will have to wait for a cycle and then start IVF again since we don't have frosties.

Sorry to hear about your BFN Russki, it must be so tough when you go through so much (and time, money etc).

My AF has finished but not feeling too confident about TTC this cycle. I’ve had a blood test today to see if my iron has improved but also got my print off from last time and my iron was 5.1 which is really quite low so don’t know if a month of tablets is enough to make a real impact. Don’t want to risk anything going wrong again so want all my levels to be perfect.

@Russkispy Sorry it was a BFN.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage @Random2468 and about your bfn @Russkispy , sending virtual hugs 

How is everyone else doing with Christmas ttcing?

This is the month we started ttc last year, so a bit sobering. Had a peak opk on my normal day, so reassured that things are getting back to normal, but didn't have my usual symptoms so wondering whether I'm not fully fertile yet. We dtd a few times anyway. How many times do you normally aim for in the fertile week?

Is anyone else trying to loose weight while ttc? I'm a stone over my healthy bmi limit and I wonder whether it's affecting ttc

Thank you lovely ladies! Waiting for AF to fully start. And after it's gone then a shagathon time! Haha and if that won't work, then will start IVF again and will fly home from day 1 of injections, so I'm under full observation of my doctor. Till ET.