TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 27 - BFPs are coming!

[Yukka]

New Thread as we're at 988 messages on thread 26. we'll do a quick roll call:
Age 39
TTC x1
MC x 3 = Sept + Dec 2017 + May 2018
Currently pregnant again 5w4ds
Diagnosed with APS/Hughes Syndrome. On Asprin since October and start Heparin tomorrow. First scan Monday.

xx

Hi ladies, it's been a while but sadly I'm back amongst you. I had a reassurance scan this morning at what should have been 10+5. There was no heartbeat and the baby measured around 17mm so made it to about 8 weeks. This is my third mc (MMC in April baby was 10 weeks, CP around 5 weeks in August and now this) so I'm now on the waiting list for RMC. Can anyone that's been through this give me the low down on what tests etc to expect there and if there's anything particular i should push for?

Maybe it's not sunk in yet but i don't feel quite so decimated this time round. I think I'd programmed myself to expect bad news rather than good today. Is that wrong?

I hope there have been some happy stories since I was last here mid October. I can't bring myself to read through the thread but I have thought of you all often and grateful for your presence xx

I'm so sorry for everyone losses 💐 it's the hardest thing in the world.

Let me dip my toe into this tbread

TTC # 1
27
1 MMC 1 Dec at 10 weeks, baby measured 9 with no heartbeat. d&c last week and now awaiting period to start trying again.

Positive thoughts for 2019 for everyone xxxx

@awakeatnight I'm so sorry this happened to you again. Please look after yourself. I've not been referred myself so I can't advise. Maybe @KnitKitty can help or one of the other ladies.

@wanderlustgirl welcome and sorry for your loss. I hope this group (affectionately known as the penguin 🐧 huddle) can bring you comfort and support in one of the worst times. Feel free to rant, ask advice and share your journey good or bad. We've all been there or are going through it too so we "get it" hun xx

@DayDreamer1707 I know I need to remember I am pregnant. And that's a good thing! Good luck with your smep! I was going to do that and have seen that there's so many positives stories from it!

@Laney79 that's what I think, if anything does happen, then I have evidence that my does exist.

@Yukka I felt like this morning again. I felt absolutely awful yesterday, felt normal today then having waves of it again today. I just need to chill but am so paranoid! How are you? Just keep asking for those scans.

@Justincase87 keep strong lovely! I'm now into my 6th week where I started bleeding when I was 6+4 so I'm a bit anxious this week.

@Lilimum5 I'm okay thanks lovely, trying to take each day as it comes. I think the 3 months is bull! I think I'm sure I didn't ovulate till my 3rd cycle after mc. So please don't stress about that.

Welcome to the new ladies, I'm sorry you find yourself here but there's a lovely bunch of ladies in here who can keep you a tiny little bit sane ❤️

awakeatnight I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so unfair. My RMC tests have been:

• bloods for: thrombophilias (blood prone to clotting), thyroid, progesterone, FSH (the hormone that makes us ovulate I think..? The things you learn from google), lupus, and certain antibodies alongside a full blood count and numerous others to check general health. Definitely forgotten a few.

• An ultrasound - but I think this is because I rung a few PCOS alarm bells

• A physical exam for fibroids and swabbing for chlamydia (I'm the only one I know who got the swab, may just be the lovely part of the world I live in!)

• They also wanted a sperm sample from DH

There was a protocol and questionnaire they failed to show me until the 2nd apt which messed everything up and I never actually saw the consultant when I ended up on my 5th pregnancy. Most other ladies seem to have more efficient care though and have seen the consultant on their initial appointment.

Justincase87, MeghanV07 and Yukka so pleased you're ticking along. Really sobering what Yukka said about so few of the recent bfps still carrying on. We are a sorry cohort, but made up of totally amazing women.

Laney79 It's good that you finally got that damn flashing smiley. A shame it seems to have cropped up at the worst possible time, another ttc example of sod's law. Sorry about the crap AF timing on christmas day. You never know, you may be fertile for a few days yet.

lilimum5 You poor thing, this is really dragging on for you. Fingers crossed you get a good clean out at your AF and you can start moving on.

TinyPaws I'm so bloody sorry.

I'm still hanging on. Went to EPU as advised after 2 weeks for a rescan and they were not expecting me, apparently my notes suggested I wasn't to come back unless there was a problem. V weird as myself and DH definitely remember being asked to return in 2 weeks. They did a super brief abdominal scan and saw a heartbeat so I'm relieved by that. They were rushing through so so didn't measure of visualise the baby's head (!!), apparently this is normal for a non internal scan..

The hospital have mistakenly booked me for my 12 week scan on Monday with a consultant apt after. I think I'm just going to cheekily turn up for the proper scan, I'm sure the 1st one got my dates wrong. and I would like to be sure that the bean has a head.

Hi, can anyone advise on post-erpc/surgical management pain. After my first one I had bleeding for 2 weeks but don't remember any pain. After this one a week ago I've had almost no bleeding (possibly as was earlier?) but had a few sharp pains the next day and slightly odd twinges since then, feels very different to period like cramps. It's making me really paranoid that something was damaged!

@TinyPaws, Lilimum5, wanderlustgirl, awakeatnight am so sorry for what you're going through xx

@Chilliandlime hi hun I don't want to scare you but that's what mine felt like and I had retained products. If you are a tall worried call the epu that's what they are there for. It's probably nothing to worry about but at least you will feel better for asking the question. Xx

@Lilimum5 thanks for the advice, that's really helpful to know. I just spoke to a nurse in the day care unit and left a message with the epu, hopefully can get a scan tomorrow. If I hadn't had one already I would have thought this was normal as it's not too uncomfortable, but feels weird. Sorry I'm sure you've already said but did you have to have another erpc or medical management after they found retained product? Xx

@Chilliandlime yes I went for medical management but I wish I hadn't hun I should have had the erpc instead

@Lilimum5 I am paranoid about having 2 erpcs in 4.5 months because of reading about Ashermans, I know the risks are officially low but can't stop worrying about it this week on top of everything else, didn't find either erpc too bad but would scared to have a 3rd so soon. However, medical management sounds really painful in many cases and sorry to hear you had a bad experience with it. Hopefully they scan me and don't find anything...

@Chilliandlime I woke up in the night really bad cramps and couldn't sleep one week on from the Erpc. Today I passed quite a big clot so I am now wondering if this was some sort of missed product and hopefully now I will stop bleeding. Although I know it is normal for at least 2 weeks.

How long did most peoples AF take to arrive after the Erpc?

Xxxx

@wanderlustgirl mine took 6.5 weeks after the one I had in July, but my cycles had been long since coming off the pill in January. Really hope the pain and bleeding stops soon for you xx

@Chilliandlime mine use to average around 40/44 days. I worry I have PCOS but I am not sure as they are long but almost consistently long. Should probably speak to my doctor. Maybe they will shorten next year now they are in a cycle for you! XX

@wanderlustgirl post-pill mine were 37, 50, 35 then conceived on 42 day cycle, then 38 first post-mc cycle and conceived on next cycle which would have been 33 days, so no idea what's normal as been all messed up this year. The Dr I saw last week said the pill puts your ovaries to sleep, really hope they are now 'awake' and they will shorten to last cycle length next year as you say. It's a pain having long cycles when you're ttc! Xx

@awakeatnight so sorry to see you back :( it’s a tough process but I know what you mean about preparing yourself. I lost my last at 10w and kind of felt the same. Take time out though and going for the tests is a good idea. I had mostly the same as @serenaoverjoyed and actually got a diagnosis of APS which is part of the Lupus and blood clotting family. I’m on treatment now after getting pregnant again so it’s wirth the investigation as I had no reason to think I might have a condition.

Welcome to the newbies and sorry you are here, hopefully you find it s good support network xx

@meghan07 you properly sound like a pregnant woman with those mood swings! Hormones are doing their job :)

@serensoverjoyed good need on heartbeat and I would totally just turn up on Monday too! Hope it’s all good. How many weeks are you now?

@laney79 really glad you got positive opk! Shame dh not feeling good but you are back in the game. You deff have 48 hours if he feels up for it, if not then roll on 2019 xx

Sorry for everyone I’ve missed!

My scan is next Thursday I should be 8.4 and I’ve had hospital appt booked to check my blood platelets (?) next Saturday I think this is to check heparin and aspirin are working. Also got a letter from Clinical Director of Obstetrics and Gynea for appt with him to be made as he will oversee my care. Feels like a long 7 days till next week and makes me nervous a bit that theres loads of support - like is this more high risk than I realise - but also pleased that everything is being lined up hopefully to see this one through. I’m preparing my list of questions! Dh birthday this weekend so focussing on that xx

@Chilliandlime I understand your fear hun I have the same. I had medical management on 31st of October, erpc on 4th November and medical management on 26th (this one was the worst and I've had this 5 times). I'm worried that all this has given me scars in my uterus or has buggered up my cervix somehow. I still haven't gotten af yet but I guess that's because of all the problems I've had the fact that I'm now very anaemic due to blood loss. I think I chose medical management again because like you I was scared of Ashermans.

@Chilliandlime I hope the short cycle stays for you! It's so much easier and you almost get an extra try every other month!

I came off the pill 3.5 years ago so I just have to accept long cycles. We conceived the first month we tried by having sex every other day. I am not looking forward to trying again! Xx

Thanks guys. @Yukka I'm afraid the chances of anything with oh are slim. He has a cold and tomorrow he's working which means he won't be in a good mood and going out in the eve and won't be back till late. Given that my ic opk was positive at 10pm last night I reckon I've got till Friday afternoon latest, so that me out.

Lucky me. AF due on Christmas Day and likely to last with brown spotting into 2019. So much for a new year new start. I really don't know how much more of this I can take. Every time I get the tiniest bit of hope something slaps me back down. I've started thinking that maybe we should just give up and that I need to accept I'll never be a mom.

And to top it all off today I went to the dentist for the first time since my miscarriages. I was pregnant last time, and I had to explain. Receptionist was adamant I didn't have to pay and I had to google and show her the nhs website that says I'm not eligible for free treatment because I lost My baby. Really didn't need that.

@Laney79 I'm sorry your feeling so low hun. Does DH know how you are feeling and I'm sorry I don't know you story very well but if DH is wanting a baby why wouldn't he want to try. Sorry if I'm being to noisy xx

@TinyPaws really sorry to hear your news, sending hugs

@awakeatnight sorry for your loss and to see you back here. It is so unfair.

@SerenaOverjoyed glad to hear you heard the heartbeat and good luck for Monday, I would definitely just turn up and get another proper scan done

@Yukka good luck and very glad to hear things are progressing nicely so far

Sorry to everyone else I have missed - sending hugs to those having a difficult time.

Well I pushed to have some bloods done at my GP as my RMC appointment isn't until February and so glad I did. Looks like my borderline thyroid function and thyroid autoantibodies has turned into full blown hypothyroidism, my TSH is >60! No wonder I lost this most recent pregnancy. In a way relieved to have found something to explain this loss (although wouldn't explain first two as thyroid was borderline then), unfortunately we won't be able to TTC for a few months whilst I get my TSH down on thyroxine although an enforced break might be what we need.

@Laney79 it sounds like you are in a really tough place at the moment. I'm sorry things feel so bleak at the moment. We are all here for you

@Lilimum5 what a horrendous time you've been put through, I'm so sorry. It's so frustrating that it's so hit and miss and we have to suffer. We just have to remember that it's rare and treatable. This whole thing really messes with your mind xx
@Laney79 sorry you are having such a hard time and dentist experience sounds very distressing. I hope you get some understanding/cooperation from oh. Don't give up xx
@wanderlustgirl I hope it's quick for you again this time xx

@laney79 don’t lose hope laney you still have time. Did you guys ever try a baby-macation at all? Maybe it could help and would be a nice treat xx

Thanks @strawberrye.

@Lilimum5 he does want a baby but he doesn't feel the urgency the way I do (I wouldn't feel anywhere near as pressured if I was younger) and he struggles with stress/depression at times. He's still very much of the "what will be will be" mindset and is very confident we'll have a baby. I'm just more realistic. I'm 40 in July and We aren't like some couples who can dtd every day/every other day so I have to try and time things otherwise the pressure can get too much for him.

It just feels like there are so many obstacles in the way. It breaks my heart. I don't want to give up but I don't think I'm strong enough to keep doing this.