35+ TTC#1 Thread 4

[BambiOnIce80]

We're very close to maxing-out our previous thread, so time to start afresh 🙂

To borrow the intro from @Blondcat (our old threads founder):

A wonderful bunch of ladies supporting each other through the ttc journey when trying for a first baby after 35.

Good luck all!! 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻

Hey ladies I'm back for my 2ww...Ovulated this past weekend and I'm currently on cd18. Was cramping all week up until last night, also had spotting yesterday. Praying that conception happened right away this past wkd and this was implantation bleeding. Will test on Monday, a full week before my missed period.

@Venusstarr that sounds awful, maybe try to see the first session as an audition and she definitely didn't get the job!

So the bad news is AF has arrived, the good news is my first cycle after coming off the pill was 29 days, and I got a positive opk on day 18. After reading how hormonal contraception has messed up other womens bodies I know I'm pretty lucky, however DP is pissed off with me for having to work NYE night so don't feel particularly happy tonight.

Dh's appointment for his sperm analysis has been pushed back to March 😥 I don't think I can deal with this.

@VenusStarr - we paid for ours. I think it was about £75 and came back in a week.

So, I think I'm in perimenopause. My younger sister has been told she is running out of eggs and will have full menopause in her late thirties, and we have had the same blood results so far. I think it runs in the family (although difficult getting info from mother as neither of us speak to her). Hard to know if I'm in peri as I'm so up and down with my moods anyway. Hopefully the clinic has some insight when I eventually get referred.

Sorry AF has rocked up @Pinkywoo 💐 A 29 day cycle after coming off the pill is pretty awesome though! Also sorry you have to work on NYE 😔 The roles are reversed at our house - I'm at home and DP is starting work at 7pm until 7am the next day 😕 I can't remember the last time I stayed in by myself getting merrily drunk and watching whatever crap takes my fancy on TV... I'm kind of looking forward to it! 😄

That's crap that DP's SA has been pushed back all that way @VenusStarr! Did they say why so long? It still boggles my mind the different levels of service that are offered depending on where you are in the country 😔

Sorry to hear your sister's bad news @79andnotout. Your AMH was alright though, wasn't it? Really hoping it's good news on your egg reserve when you get your clinic appointment 🍀🍀🍀

@BambiOnIce80 yeah our AMH and fsh is the same, but the fertility experts have said she has a tenth of the normal number of eggs for her age. She's rich so has good private care and they have really nice equipment!. I think our mother and her mother had menopause in their late thirties but they were both really unhealthy and we've been sporty and health conscious but I guess that's irrelevant. She's still young though so her consultant is confident they will get good eggs to freeze. I'm ok too, I want a resolution more than anything and will be ok with more pets. Would explain my emotional rollercoasters though. In a way I would be glad to get menopause over early when I still feel fairly young (as stupid as that sounds). Suddenly looking in the mirror at 55 and realising I'm old and menopausal sounds worse.

Also your New Year's Eve sounds fun. We're doing a fell race ending in a pub in the afternoon. Will get drunk then and probably sleep through midnight!

Will the GP accept the results to refer us to the fertility clinic @79andnotout? He said they needed all the test results back before he'd refer us. I can't get in until January to discuss my scan results so I'm hoping that we'll get referred on the basis of them anyway.
I'm sorry to hear your news. Any news on your fertility appt?

No reason given @BambiOnIce80 just a letter saying its changed to March. Dh is going to try calling tomorrow.. They close at 4!

Sorry to hear af has arrived @Pinkywoo but also good that your cycle appears to be regulating.

@VenusStarr all our private results have been treated the same way as nhs so far. They have made no distinction. Also the private clinic have mailed everything to my gp at the same time.

@VenusStarr Just catching up and i’m completely shocked at your counselling experience. She sounds awful! The complete opposite of what a counsellor should be. Hope it hasn’t put you off.

Sorry to hear about Af @pinkywoo Mine arrived 2 days ago, so it’s back to the cb monitor and the expense of test sticks. Oh well, need to look at the positives and make sure I enjoy plenty of mulled wine 🍷

Sounds like an interesting New Years Eve @79ndnotout I remember reading somewhere that being health conscious, exercising and looking after your diet etc, can make a difference to egg quality. I really need to focus on this more instead of just popping Coq10 and hoping for the best! I broke up for Xmas today though, so it’s going to be a takeaway and some celebratory drinks (thanks to af) 🎉

@kescilly I had a lovely morning doing nothing but had to start my Christmas shopping this aftenoon. Mostly done in three hours which is a record for me!
Now relaxing, looking at recipes for chocolate truffles and enjoying some wine while I can. Apparently I am due to ovulate on Christmas Day 🤨. DH is working from home tomorrow so I have to start acting like a normal functional person again. Boo!

@Emmz84, me and DH frequently chat about how we are not 100% convinced about having a child and it’s good that we can talk about our concerns so perhaps your DP just needs some reassurance but he needs to understand the impact that flip flopping will have on you. Hope it’s going ok.

Hello lovely ladies!
Once again thank you all for your kind words and advice.
DH and I have had a little chat and it seems like he was feeling a little strained and overwhelmed by everything.
He explained that he did still want to have a child, but seeing me so upset when my last AF arrived made him wonder if it was the right thing at this time.
I said that maybe I had set my expectations too high and hadn’t really thought about just how long these things could take.
Also, I have to admit that I have become a bit all consumed and possibly a little obsessive about it all.
I’m now looking at things a little more realistically, especially after reading everybody else’s experiences.
I think I probably need to try and relax a little more and come to terms with the fact that TTC isn’t instantaneous.

Wow! What a rollercoaster of emotions already!

I did receive my ICOPK this morning and will give them a trial as of monday, I’m now cycle day 8 so that will make me cycle day 12. Im not sure If that’s the correct time to start testing or not but I’m sure I will get the hang of it all!

I'm so glad you had a better chat, Emmz. How are you feeling now?

My husband had a bit of a wobble about TTC, which is one of the reasons we waited. I didn't handle it well because of history with my ex. But they are different people and it didn't last. It's such a big change and there are so many emotions involved.

I've been feeling pretty relaxed and happy but now that I have scans coming up, I'm getting nervous again. We have our private gender scan on Christmas Eve, and then NHS anomaly scan in January. I will definitely be updating anyone who is reading the thread and not out celebrating with drink!

That all sounds exciting @Kescilly definitely keep us updated. Hope it goes well 💕

Glad you had a chat with your DH @Emmz84 we’ve both had wobbles at various points during TTC too. I think it would be unusual not to. It’s such a big decision.

I'm very excited for the big Christmas Eve gender reveal @Kescilly! 🤩 I'll be staying in and doing the whole 'fish on Christmas Eve' thing for an Italian DP (will you be indulging your DP with this tradition too @Pinkywoo?).

I get it @79andnotout 👍 When I'd convinced myself that I was perimenopausal I just wanted to know one way or the other so that I could start getting over it and embrace a life of pets and disposable income! Fell running on NYE sounds hard core! I like the sound of the pub part though 🥂😉

That sounds like a good proactive move from your DH @VenusStarr 👍 You have to think that realistically they're unlikely to be getting a lot of guys ringing up to rearrange appointments, so hopefully he's likely to be able to get something earlier 🤞🏻

I'm in awe of you getting your Christmas shopping done in 3 hours @zoomies1! Any chance you could do mine for me next year?!

Sorry for AF arriving @PixieN 💐 I hope you enjoy your break and the mulled wine 🍷🙂

Sounds like you had a really good chat with DH @Emmz84. Our guys have absolutely no chance of understanding the emotional and hormonal 💩 we go through when TTC, so it's not too surprising that they freak out when they see us in meltdown 😏 I've gone with the tact of keeping most of my ov tracking and when AF is due to myself so as to not risk freaking DP out too much (and I have you lovely ladies on here to keep me sane! 😄). I tend to start the OPK's on CD12 (of a 28/29 day cycle). It means it takes a few days to get the BFP, but there's less risk of missing it if you randomly ov early.

So. I caved whilst a bit merry the other night and ordered a 2 decimal place thermometer (I really should hide my phone/prime account when I've had a few gins! 🙄). It arrived yesterday and I started this morning 👍 DP is on 6am starts for the next 3 days, so I shouldn't get the variability in data on the weekend that had put me off getting one before. I got one with the memory function, so I can take it, go back to sleep and then record the number a few hours later (thanks for the tip on that one @Chelonia 🙂 How are you doing? Did you get your AMH results back?).

Happy Friday everyone!x

@BambiOnIce80 no they don't have that tradition in Sicily, probably because they eat lots of fish (and everything else) all year round!

Thanks @BambiOnIce I’ve been indulging in mulled wine, mince pies and shortbread, so it’s probably wise to avoid the scales for a while 🙈

I could do with some advice really as Af is being odd this month. I know we spoke about lighter periods (as a couple of us were worried about perimenopause) but has anyone experienced a really heavy one when ttc? DH reckons we might have come close to conception, but I don’t know. Usually, af will start light with spotting, be heavyish for a day, go back to light and then it’s just spotting on the 4th day. This month i’ve been really heavy since the first day (like my periods were in my 20s) and for 3 days with bright red blood & clots (sorry tmi). Thought I was finishing on day 4 as normal, but woke up to more blood this morning. Do you think this is just a weird anomaly? My periods have literally been the same for years

@pixieN unfortunately our fortunately which ever way you want to look at it no-one can tell you the only way you would know is if you had tested before af was here. It may just be your body having a good clear out ready to accept a pregnancy. I had a few really heavy ones in first few months of ttc but (especially after my mc) again I think to have a good clear out.

15+2 today and finally the all day nausea is easing into just when really hungry couple of times a day. Starting to feel slightly human again hoping it will last through Christmas. Even managed to get to my zumba class on Friday (first time in 10 weeks!) was tired after but felt good. Got little bump which had popped out in last week.

Thanks @blondcat I did test before af and it was bfn so rationally speaking, it can’t have been due to almost conception. I like your idea that my body may be getting ready to accept a pregnancy though. Fingers crossed anyway. I will remain hopeful, though feeling a bit crappy lately - maybe it’s the time of year. Been wrapping gifts for little nephews and friends’ babies and children, which is lovely, but really want it to be our turn. Hormones and Christmas!

Glad everything is progressing well for you and well done on the Zumba class I recently met up with a friend who’s pregnant and she hasn’t been up to doing any exercise at all. She’s got a lovely little bump too 💕

So have I, but unfortunately it’s mince pie related 😳😂🙈

@PixieN mine vary so I can’t say that I’ve had a particularly heavy one due to TTC. But I had my own beliefs like this. My first cycle, AF arrived more than a week early and I freaked out. I later wondered if it was some sort of failed implantation that triggered an early AF. I’ll never know, but I think if these beliefs help us make sense of all the nonsense TTC puts us through, there’s nothing wrong with that.

I’d use the opportunity to put your feet up and relax a bit if you can!

Today I’m feeling grateful that my own family doesn’t celebrate Christmas. I think I’d be missing them a lot more if they did. I got all of those feelings dealt with last month when they were getting together for celebrations.

My periods have always been really light (even when I got pregnant a decade ago) so I don't know that it means much.

I decided to go back home for Christmas for the first time in decades and I'm already regretting it. My dad and his wife just bicker non stop, their house is freezing as they're both quite fat, and there is nothing sweet in the house at all. I don't want my retirement to be like this, they literally do nothing except sleep, watch tv, argue and drink shit Lidl wine (which gives me too bad a hangover to drink). I'm meeting up with my cousins tomorrow though so that should be fun. I wish I'd booked a hire car so I could at least get out and find some Christmas chocolate!

I'm meeting with the wider family on Christmas Day. There will be no kids there, were all either infertile, perpetually single, or haven't got round to it. So whilst a sad state of affairs at least I won't have to field endless questions about it!

Hi all. Hope all are feeling ok.

Sorry to a few that have said their a little down, this time of year can have such a funny old affect on your mood. Lots of ups and downs i find.

Good luck @Kescilly. Very excited to hear the gender! Glad your feeling good.

@79andnotout that message gave me a chuckle 😁. You make it sound so appealing lol.

Good luck with the thermometer @BambiOnIce80 let us know how you get on. I’m also lethal when internet shopping after a few glasses of whatever tickles my fancy... especially since Apple Pay (so I don’t even need to get up and hunt for my card). 😂

My periods are extremely light too, I have just 1 day of a mediumish flo the rest consist of brown spotting (tmi). It’s worrying. The thought of a fairly heavy period to clear thing out sounds positive though @PixieN.

I will be starting Xmas and pouring myself a glass of merry wine tonight. 🥂

@Carley321 - I drank the wine. I'm going to regret that in a few hours...

Enjoy your wine! X

Sounded like you needed the wine @79andnotout I know exactly what you mean - my mum and her bf bicker none stop too and we’re spending the day with them tomorrow 🙄 Hope you manage to source some chocolate over Christmas and some decent wine too!

Thanks for the comments ladies. Think I’m feeling a bit wistful and some wishful thinking going on. Hope you all have a lovely Christmas 😊🎄🎉🎁🍷💕