Yam Fam!

[Chooklass]

Yammers thread 9!

Yammer rules:

A safe place for those of you who have been trying to conceive for 6+ months and even yams aren’t helping. Come and have a good ol’ bitch and a moan without judgement. Please read the rules before posting!

The Yam Commandments are as follows;

• Thou shalt not arrive one day and post BFP next day

• Thou shalt not give advice to others when TTC for one month only

• Thou shalt not participate in one-up-manship and realise TTC is shit for everyone in different ways

• Thou shall allow posters to be fucked off with the world and everything in it at regular points in the month

• Thou shalt not be offended by strong language

• Thou shalt not tell everyone to eat yams

• Thou shall accept being called a muppet for testing at 7dpo at 9pm at night

• Thou shalt not symptom spot during the two week wait and must be prepared for a telling off if you do so.

-Thou shalt not post pictures of positive pregnancy tests. We will be delighted to hear about it but no photos, please and thank you

@BGDino I'm sorry your going though all this i can't even begin to imagine how your feeling. I can see why your torn with what to do how's your other half feeling? Is he unsure too? X

Ah @BGDino sorry 😩 what do you think you'll do? X

@impatientmammy @cupcakesandglitter I don’t know what to do, I feel so conflicted. DH says he’ll support my choice

@BGDino what's the chances of there being another genetic problem, do you know? Or would the report tell you that? X

Do you need a prescription to start your cycle off again @BGDino maybe if you go to your gp it might give you the opportunity to discuss the pros and cons with someone else? Problem is no one can possible know what they would do unless they'd been through it themselves so it must be hard finding people to talk to about it. X

DH asked the obstetrician how often it is that the autopsy report turns up something and he said it was rare.

I had more than 12 tubes of blood taken today for testing, including genetic screening.

At the moment I'm on oestrogen and then progesterone for a month to shed what's left of my uterine lining. I will need to go back to my fertility specialist after that to get letrozole to trigger a cycle (won't happen on its own).

I talked to two of my friends, one is a public health physician and the other is a general physician, and they both thought not waiting for the final report was reasonable.

This thread is really the only place I can talk about all this. No-one I know offline has had any problems of any kind having children

I'm scheduled to go back to work on Monday, which isn't making me feel better

@BGDino I guess you've got until you get the letrozole to think about what you want to do? If the doctor said it's rare something comes back is that leaning you towards trying sooner rather than after the reports? Please take some time off (or go to the doctors and see if you want some signed time off) if your mental health isn't the best right now, it's completely understandable and you need to still be looking after yourself regardless of the decision you make. It is annoying because no one ever speaks about the struggle with TTC, it's only ever boasts I hear about how fast it happened/unplanned etc which is crap but there are plenty of us who all have struggled and have a shit time with TTC. We're all here for you x

@BGDino Just wanted to check in and see how you were. (hugs)

@cupcakesandglitter I agree with you.. I think TTC struggles should be discussed more often! Its only when i opened up to a couple of friends of mine on our struggles.. did one admit that she had struggled to. I think more people struggle that you realise!

@Pinkemi definitely!! It's almost like it's shameful to talk about it but actually why should we feel like that? We can't control it and it doesn't mean we're failures or anything like that, we should feel so much more empowered whether we're struggling or not but unfortunately we aren't 😩

@BGDino I agree it's so hard to talk outside of yam fam, even talking to dp is hard and he doesn't really understand. Other day we had customers at work who bought a kid who was screaming and my boss said to me, do you really want kids, do you really want that? I don't know why you want kids? So I just said, doesn't look like I have a choice of whether I want them or not. I mean how insensitive?

So I'm on cycle day 3 came on early as not due till tomorrow

@Owlpatrol what a stupid thing for someone to say. I hope your ok I think people that don't know really don't get it I know I didn't even my other half doesn't and he's living it x

@Owlpatrol I hate it when people do that. Crossing everything for you this cycle.

@cupcakesandglitter went to see my boss today and I ended up taking another month of long service leave. My mental health has deteriorated badly over the last couple of days and I’m not well enough for desk work never mind clinical right now. Luckily I’m seeing my counsellor and psychiatrist Tuesday and Wednesday. Currently at the gym trying to use physical discomfort to distract myself from all the dark thoughts.

@Pinkemi thanks

@BGDino

Thank you for all your messages. Looking forward for fp to vanish!

@BGDino I'm glad your looking after yourself. x

2DPO for me today.

Anyone struggling with the total hopelessness of it? I almost feel like I just don't care anymore... Even though I absolutely do care obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be so heartbroken every month.

I am sick of watching everyone else get pregnant at the drop of a hat. It isn't fair and I'm not a bad person. I'm NOT a bad person.

Sorry for the doom and gloom. Feeling really down today.

@JustLikeTheySaid your not a bad person at all I think it's totally normal to feel that way x

Hi all just wanted to check in

Waiting for fp to finish, it's been a really hard shitty new year and so not ready to think of new years resolutions which don't involve dtd. Had another good chat to dp today about testing and he's agreed to test so need to get him to ring doctor on Monday. Because he has two dc from previous we don't think it's him but won't get referred for scans etc until his sperm analysis is back. Had to literally spell it out to him. Anyway can't think about babies nor not bring pregnant or being pregnant right now. Just feel so numb so your not on your own @JustLikeTheySaid sending hugs

Been clearing out the house like a mad woman today, it's been quite therapeutic and I highly recommend it, along with a bottle of red wine tonight!

Btw saw 3 new borns in fucking costa today, fml. So then proceeded to have said chat above with dp, a few tears helped

Oh and a strong coffee

@JustLikeTheySaid @Owlpatrol know what you mean. Made the mistake of logging onto Instagram this afternoon and there's an ex-colleague of mine who is 6 weeks ahead of what I was, having her baby shower. Did. Not. Need. To. See. That.

Not having ANY control over when we can try again isn't helping either (we need ovulation induction) - don't even know when that is at this stage since all depends on tests and doctors. Cried into DH's lap for a fair part of the afternoon.

Awww ladies Januaries not been very kind to the yammers so far. I'm pleased your DH has finally agreed @Owlpatrol hope they get him in quick.
I'm on my second day of flashing smileys and other half isn't home till Wednesday so fingers crossed the egg holds on because I'm totally in denial and I don't think I'm gunna cope well with another fat chance of getting pregnant without having an affair type of month. X

@impatientmammy @BGDino thabks ladies had a lovely Sunday chilling, clearing out and eating roast dinner! I need some positivity this week as it's gonna be a manic week at work and I just need something to give me divine inspiration!

Just agreed with my GP that we will start fertility tests. She's left the forms at reception.

This is good obviously... But it is gutting too. At least we might get some answers?

Yeah I've always thought it's always nice to feel we are doing something @JustLikeTheySaid on that note dp still not rang doctor!! Still waiting for fp to end!

How you feeling today @JustLikeTheySaid ? I hope you get the answers your hoping for

I'm still on flashing smileys today and my other half's home tomorrow so we're in with a chance 🤞 last months BFP is keeping me hopeful. I forgot to buy grapefruit juice so will get some tomorow. If I get the chance. Can it work in a day? I drank it for about a week before last month.
I really hope your doing ok ladies and it's quiet cause your all so busy rather than the horrid hopelessness January seems to be bringing x