TTC Our Rainbow

[MeghanV07]

Hi all 💞 I had a miscarriage on the 5th September, I was 7+2 😔. We already have a 10 month old so I feel very blessed to have him. But now in the 2ww and I’ve done about a million tests already and they’ve all been BFN. Some I’ve thought they may possibly be a very very very positive but I’m doubtful. Is anyone else trying to conceive their rainbow 💞

Hi meghan,

I had a miscarriage on sep8th at 8 weeks, and am desperate to conceive our first! I’ve not ovulated since, I got a cb static smiley today.... but not sure I trust it! I will bd for at least the next week just incase. I’m so desperate to be pregnant again. Hopefully you get that BFP soon x

Oh I'm sorry 😔. Have my fingers crossed for you too. I wish we bd'd more this month but I just wasn't up to it and didn't want to force it but want this baby so bad. So many mixed emotions! And it's hard because you don't know when your next period is due either! Xx

Same here. We lost two babies in 2016. One was a missed MMC at 9 weeks, and the other we lost very early on.

DP refused to try again (the worst two years of my life) until June this year when he amazingly changed his mind. I'm now on my 4th cycle and utterly desperate to hold our rainbow. I've wanted this for so long now, and stupidly thought it would happen fairly quickly. But nothing yet.

PCOS is being a massive burden on our attempts

Megan: I know what you mean about mixed emotions, my DH is very black and white about things, which is both good and bad. He’s of the opinion you can’t change the past so don’t dwell on it, but I’m afraid I can’t do that, as much as I want to push forward, I find I can’t help longing in the past you know

Frazzlerock: I know what you mean about PCOS it took me 3 years to get a cycle with metaformin, and when I finally did it ranges between 40-46 days, so every chance I get ovulation wise I can just imagine will be so stressful because it’ll be a long wait for the next time if it doesn’t happen. I was terrified my husband would just call it a day after the miscarriage, I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been. Especially because I’ve found since miscarrying the urge to be pregnant is all consuming. But so glad your able to try again now. I was trying to conceive for 5 years before I fell pregnant, and I wasn’t aware prior to that you could get ovulation test kits, I tried using CB ovulation test kit, and caught that month. With PCOS and my cycles being so long all ovulation predictions were out (as I’d only just got a cycle so couldn’t pinpoint) and I’m not sure if it’s chance or not but I caught the first month I tried CB ov test. But could have been a total fluke.

Hope you both catch soon xx

Oh Frazzlerock that must have been so hard for you. But so glad he's come round now. My husbands very black and white too Bentley88, he said it is what it is and there was something wrong with the baby that's why what happened happens. We'll get a 2nd baby soon just don't know when. I said it's easy for him, he can go to work for 9hrs and occupy his mind, I'm always googling, mumsnetting, testing 🙄😂.

It's 6-15am and I've already tested - a BFN 😔. I wish I knew when I was due on so I could stop driving myself crazy.

I've got friends who have PCOS so know how hard it can be. I just wish everyone's body was the same. If you didn't get pregnant after ovulation you just came in so the wait wasn't long. But nothing worth having is ever easy is it xxx

I am too. I had a Missed Miscarriage at 9 weeks. We were devastated and took us a long time to move forwards. Now I'm finally passed what would have been my due date I feel like it's time to try again. This time we are taking it slowly, DTD when we want to until the craziness takes over again! X

@Naughtykitty I'm sorry for your loss 😔.

I said to my husband I wanted to take things slow, not be a serial pee on a sticker and I've been that person 😭💔. Been testing since last Wednesday and I've had all negatives. I had no idea when I ovulated, we haven't DTD many times so I shouldn't expect it, but you now when you're THAT desperate.

Fingers crossed for you 🌈❤️

Hi guys. Hoping I can join. Sorry for your losses. I fell pregnant in July on my 3rd cycle and lost our jelly bean in August. On my 5th cycle now and currently late! I was 28 days regular before. 30 days period straight after MC and this one is 32 days long 😔 took a few digitals before I was late and were negative so I'm probably out again xx

It's so hard isn't it. I'm going to try not to test this month and just wait it out. Don't want to get back into bad habits! And there is only a very slim chance it could happen this month as we didn't dtd very much. Fingers crossed for everyone. Xx

Of course @Delilah7, I'm sorry for your loss 😔. I'm the same as you, 28/29 days regularly and I'm on cd28 & no sign of AF.

I have been testing like a mad woman since last Wednesday 🙄 but this morning I tested one last time and have decided I'm not going to anymore, it's causing me so much heartache. I've thrown my cheapies away & ive one first response left which I'm saving for next month.

We're EXACTLY the same @Naughtykitty it would be a miracle if I caught as we only DTD once in my fertile window, but you know when you expect too much?

MC is so damaging to your mind isn't it. Really messes with emotions.

Never wanted AF to show up so much in my life! Xxx

Honestly. I'm now at CD34 with no show of AF! :( really annoying me. Tests are negative and I need to stop testing as I end up having line eyes when there's no line!!! Xx

@Delilah7 8 know they say stressing doesn't help but it's impossible not to. Did you ever have a follow up with your doctor? I hate that they say messed up cycles are normal 😔 just wish it was so simple. When you know you're out you just want AF to show.

I've woken up with bad back pain & cramps this morning so I'm hoping she's not far away, but knowing my body she'll keep me waiting xxx

@MeghanV07 I had a phone consult but I never had a scan to make sure everything had gone naturally etc or anything. Just confusing. I was only two days late last cycle. And it's not normal for people like me who have always been regular! Zzz

Hi guys, I know the feeling, My cycles have always been all over the place they settled to around 40-46 days before MC, and I unexpectedly got a static smiley on my CB ovulation test 7 days ago (I’m hoping it was real and not lurking hormones) and am desperately trying not to test. It’s awful as much as you try you can’t help but get your hopes up you know. Your absolutely right Meghan mc is so damaging to your MH, I’ve always had anxiety, but god it’s ramped up since my mc, just the feeling of total doom that I’ll either never be able to conceive again, or carry a baby to term. My DH tells me it’s irrational to think like that, but that doubt I think will always lurk you know.

Sorry I’ve been a bit quiet on here, I’ve had a bad couple of days my best friend has just announced she’s 12 weeks pregnant and has been a smidge insensitive sending me sonograms, and it’s messed with my head a bit.

Delilah - Im so sorry for you loss, i really hope this is your month, and you get a BFP soon.

Naughtykitty- fingers crossed for you, and waiting it out sounds like a good plan, every negative test is like a stab to the heart. I just think I’m going to have to keep myself occupied. I’ve been hitting the gym like a mad woman in an attempt to distract myself, but think there’s only so many times I can do that before I start to look weird!

Fingers crossed for everyone and be kind to yourselves, as it’s shit right now, but hopefully it’ll get better

Just seen your other messages while I was typing that one, could you request a scan from your GP to check? (Sorry if I’m behind and you already answered that) x

@Bentley88 I feel like it's so unfair. We have had babies taken away from us and it's like it's still not simple after that?! Like how's that fair on us. 😔

@Bentley88 I could do but I feel like what's the point as she said I've had no other bleeding than my period. Which would mean the baby should all have left my system. Xx

Delilah7 ah right I see what you mean, wel fingers crossed it’s maybe good news? And if not hopefully they’ll settle back down soon :(

And your absolutely right it’s unfair, I’ve been unable to really talk to my best friend since as she’s always been ambivalent about having children and I have always wanted to be a mum, and she gets to keep hers. I think that’s the real kicker at the moment is the sense of total unfairness. I tried to describe how I was feeling to my DH the other day, and I’m just angry and sad, angry that I feel like I’ve had something taken from me and sad i feel like it’ll never happen again. I totally get where your at .

@Bentley88 men don't understand it as much as women as we have a bond with child as soon as we find out we are pregnant so it's harder for them to get sometimes I think xx

@delilah7 your totally right! I could never tell DH that tho, as I think he’d think I was being insensitive. But it’s true, it’s like the best secret in the world when you find out, I mean I know it was only 8 weeks but I remember talking to it. I know people would think your mad but it really is a little bond.

Also Delilah I had to laugh at your line eyes comment, as that is exactly what it is lol, or the dreaded evap lines

@Bentley88 well I'm a mad hatter then as mine was only 5 weeks but it was so wanted and loved already! 😍 hhaha literally I hate peeing on sticks and trying for those reasons. I'm obsessed with tilting and turning the bloody sticks in case I can see a glimpse and this is only now my 6 month!

Absolutely! That makes two of them 😂 . Oh god 6 months, you’ve done so well, this is only my first month after mc and I already feel totally crazy! I really hope it happened for you soon .

My DH has said he’s only ever seen the cat as obsessed with peeing on things lol!! Haha! Turning the sticks, I get that!! To see if maybe the light hits them in a different way and there’s miraculously a second line! 😂 I mean as horrible as it is to be here it’s nice to know someone else is doing the same, so I can’t be tottally nuts xx

@Bentley88 sorry Hun I meant 6 months trying all together. It's been two months since my MC. Xx

I'm just as bonkers as you both! But the best people are 💞

I've tested 12 times since last Wednesday and that was all bloody pointless as AF has JUST arrived. I've never been so happy to see her 😂.

Means I can get to temping, opk's and bd'ing this month. Going to try and enjoy it too, not buy any tests till I'm at least 12dpo! Let's see how long I can stick to that 😂.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time @Bentley88, one of my best friends has just announced she's pregnant - but only 6 weeks. I feel so harsh but I keep thinking why her and not me? This will be her 3rd baby, she doesn't need another one 🙄. How mean is that?! I feel evil but cannot help it!

Xxx

Meghanv07 - well if that’s evil, I’m evil too! As I’d be thinking exactly the same!! It’s so hard, I don’t think I was prepared for that bit. I know I’d find I difficult around pregnant women or prams. We went to Cornwall last week to try and reset and I’ve never seen so many peaks in my life, and I actively hated them all for being smug and happy. Irrational and mean.... yes.... but totally deserved 😂 . Hopefully that side dissipates soon..... or I just learn to hide the evil 😂😂

Aw bless you!! I know the feeling, I recon that will be me soon as well, I’ve spent a ridiculous amount in the CB ov kits and now pregnancy tests and it will all be for nothing! I can’t even say I won’t do it next month, as I know I will ! But atleast we will be bonkers on here together!