TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

AF just turned up. It's crap but not giving up. Might go for IUI next cycle.

@Melpops Joining you in the narked club. Yet another BFN (cd30 of a 32 day cycle) this morning and just had the brown discharge I seem to get a couple of days before AF comes to stay for a few days. Right on time for her scheduled appearance on the 1st, so I'm super positive I'm out. One more cycle until my due date. Definitely getting harder to swallow the disappointment month on month now.

Hi,

I hope it’s ok to join this thread. I’m kind of new to mumsnet, my dh took me away following my mc, so I’ve only just got back home to ‘normal life’ today. So I’ve been
TTC for the last 5 years
1# - Mc at 8 weeks - Sep 2018.

Desperately hoping I ovulate soon to try again! Got a static smiley on a cb ov test this morning..... but not sure it’s right!! Better bd this evening just incase! Hope everyone’s ok today

Please can I join? I've been lurking for a while and you all seem so nice.

I had a mmc at just over 9 weeks last week. That followed a m/c at just under 7 weeks in May. We've been trying since the start of the year (I'm 33).

Feeling pretty worried that something is wrong and/or I've left it too late, but trying to reassure myself with people's stories of successful pregnancies after 2 miscarriages. It's hard though.

Can I please ask when people started trying again? After the mc in May we started trying again immediately and it took just a couple of cycles to get pregnant again but this time round I've had an erpc so not sure if we should leave it a bit longer this time. The advice seems a bit confusing. What have others done?

I really want to get trying again asap but the thought of a third mc is terrifying.

Thank you.

Hi @Bentley @Jacquelyn, sorry you find yourselves here.

@Jacquelyn I waited for a period and got pregnant next cycle. Unfortunately an ectopic but that seems to be random. Nobody told me not to try immediately but I didn't see my husband until after my next AF (living abroad for a bit) so that took the decision out of my hands!

Evening all and hi to @bentley88 and @jacquelyn. Sorry you find yourselves here but welcome to the thread. Trying again is tricky. Western medicine seems to have very little in terms of guidelines. They like you to have af before trying again purely for dating purposes. Eastern medicine says to wait 3 months though. I'm having acupuncture and trying desperately to be patient and wait the 3 months but it's hard when you and your body just want to be pregnant. I think everyone has to decide what is right for them and their own circumstances.

I'm curious though, I still struggle being around pregnant people but am fine with babies; it seems I've detached the 2. I want to be pregnant but I don't associate that with having a baby anymore. I guess that's a symptom of 2 mc. Does anyone else feel the detachment?

Hi ladies D oddlebobs here... have NC for personal reasons about the root of that username.

Just wanted to check in and let you know about my Dr appointment last week. It went well. She agreed to provide thyroid tests (didn't say which ones, might phone and ask about thyroid-uk recommended ones as apparently nhs don't always do them all) and some for PCOS. It's a start. Apparently the tests are best done on your period. Pretty sure mine is coming tomorrow or Monday as negative test Thursday (12 dpo) and temps heading down. Great... period on my due date. Just what I need 😭 they didn't have any appointments this week so going to need to call every day during AF to see if they can squeeze me in. GP did say they can get results not on period just that it's better - any one have any experience of why/ whether this will be important?

She also undertook to write to the Recurrent Miscarriage folk for me to ask if they would take me 'early'. She wasn't confident but thought we might as well ask.

Finally she also asked me to speak to the Miscarriage Association and arrange some counselling which I keep just putting off.

To top off what was a horrendously hard afternoon, I also got a message from a friend about to TMFR at 12 weeks and someone else announcing their bfp. Distraught for the former and disappointed with my self for just not being capable of much outside of envy at the latter. What a beast this TTC journey is.

@keebo totally agree with you. Bring me all the babies, but keep your scans and bellies right out of my road!!

Hi everyone, congratulations to the BFPs and sorry for those who have AF or BFNs. This is a really tough journey.

@Bentley88 @JacquelynScieszka welcome and sorry for your losses. There is evidence that if you fall pregnant again within 6 months of a miscarriage it is much more likely to lead to a successful pregnancy so there is an argument for trying again as soon as you feel physically ready (stopped bleeding) and emotionally ready - the waiting for a period thing is just to make it easier to date pregnancy if you did fall pregnant before your first AF after miscarriage.

@keebo I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes seeing babies is hard but I find it generally a whole lot easier than seeing pregnant women. It's interesting what you say about how you thinking having miscarriages has made you detach the concepts of pregnancy and babies - I think you might be right that's why it hurts so much to see other pregnant women.

@awakeatnight sounds like a hard day, sending hugs. Glad your GP is getting some things sorted for you, I'm not sure why they said to have the bloods done on your period - can't think of a reason for this? Especially if you're being tested for pcos as lots of women with pcos have very variable periods and long cycles - it could be months before their next period and so not very practical? I keep putting off counselling too. I think part of me feels because both of my losses were early and before I had a scan, that I feel like a bit of a fraud - almost as if they don't count as losses? Then I wrestle with this because they were technically pregnancies - the second I had blood HCG levels to prove it - so even though I've been trying for a year and some schools of thought wouldn't count my losses as proper miscarriages, I can't be referred to infertility as technically got pregnant. Never mind that I probably wouldn't have known if I hadn't tested and wasn't good at tracking my periods…

@rdm10 sending hugs. It does seem that pretty much every fertile aged woman I see is either pregnant or with a baby. It's not fair and feels like a kick in the guts every time but I have to keep reminding myself I don't know what their journey was to get to that stage

Hello fellow ttc
Trying for no2
Dd born nov 2016
Ectopic this summer
Ttc since just found had a positive opk but on cd21 anyone else had this

Hi @loveisland @JacquelynScieszka @Bentley88 welcome! @loveisland after loss your body gets a bit confused, including ovulating early or late. Hopefully the opk is a sign you're about to ovulate so if you're ready to get back in the game, get on it!

@strawberrye she said it was better for the PCOS test but as you say, she did acknowledge that it's not always possible. As far as irregularity goes I'm not that badly off - 28-44 days over the past 3 years, no idea before that but never regular. Now I'm tracking opk and temps I do tend to see O-day move about but second phase is consistent.

@rdm10 I know, right!! I've never known so many pregnant people even when I was in the thick of antenatal classes with DD. I think we are close cycle twins again next cycle as I'll be starting tomorrow or Monday.

@Dyra @Melpops36 - in your hacked off club! Cd27 and BFN, had sore nips, stretchy pelvis feeling and little waves of nausea this month all more convincing than the usual 'my left phalange tingles

@fnej01 how did you get on with your bloods? We seem to be on similar path ways just now. I'm waiting to hear if recurrent miscarriage will accept me after 2 mc, and getting my blood tested with appointment in 2 weeks or if I can get lucky and phone in for a cancellation. I hope you're getting the help you need to get the solution you want of a healthy baby in your arms in not too long off 9 months xx

@loveisland
Happened to me last month and this month!
Some people have an Lh surge before period apparently??

@awakeatnight hi, bloods were all 'normal' but I am still squabbling with receptionist to get a copy of my results (hopefully pick them up Monday).
In meantime he has referred me after 2 mc to the hospital. I realise will have a bit of a wait but grateful to be in the system without having to wait for a 3rd mc. In the meantime we are going to keep trying.
I think I saw your docs appointment went well. I didn't have my period when testing, not sure why that would matter for thyroid etc. I do think during period is a good time if they are testing oestrogen though. I hope both our referrals get accepted! Let's hope we all have beautiful babes at home this time next year.

I totally relate to the disassociation between pregnancy and babies. Until my first MC I used to dream about a big bump and waddling about, now I can't imagine it at all. It must be an emotional protection thing.

Good morning everyone I hope I'm not too late to join.

MeghanV07
Age 28
TTC #2
1st MC 5th September at 7+2

Our pregnant in August was a massive surprise. The doctors kept messing with my pill and kept changing my. The final one they put me on made me crazy so we decided it was best for me to come off contraception all together. So I guess we didn't avoid pregnancy but didn't plan it either. So when I found out I was pregnant on the 16th August it was a massive shock & I worried as my DS is only 10 months old. We figured it would work and my boy would have a best friend so close in age. Then 5 days later it was all taken from us. Now I can't help but feel it's karma for not feeling okay about the pregnancy to start with.

I'm not sure when AF will arrive so have been testing like a mad woman just getting BFN. So hoping this thread will keep me somewhat sane but also be so lovely to see others get their rainbows and hopefully get mine soon too 💞

Just stealing a few minutes away from the in-laws to catch up a bit.

@crazyhorseylady and @hellotoyellow congratulations! Take each day at a time. Stay strong. xxx

Hi @Bentley88 sorry for your loss. I hope you're one of those who are extra fertile following MC and you get a healthy, sticky bean very soon. Fingers crossed for you. xx

@JacquelynScieszka Sorry for your losses. I had ERPC and the constant at the hospital said that they prefer you wait to TTC again after having a normal AF, but it's mostly just so they can date a new pregnancy more easily so gave me the go-ahead before AF showed. Basically do what's right for you, unless you have specifically been told to wait a certain amount of time by healthcare professionals.

@keebo I also find being around pregnant ladies harder than babies. I think because I lost a pregnancy rather than a full-term baby.

@awakeatnight sounds like your GP is being really supportive. Hope they can fit the tests in over AF.

Hi @loveisland sorry about the ectopic. xxx

@MeganV07 sorry for your loss sweetie, but please don't blame yourself. Babies all over the world are born in their own time whether they're planned for, not planned for, wanted or not wanted. Nature can be cruel and if your little bean wasn't developing properly your body knows when it's not a good idea for it to continue. It's hard for us to handle afterwards though. Be kind to yourself. You didn't cause this.

Sorry for not catching up with everyone. Thinking of those of you struggling at the moment and sending hugs all round.

I think I'm 4 or 5DPO right now.
Does anyone else find they have really mixed feelings about if they want AF to turn up or not? Part of me feels relieved every time I start to bleed. But then the other part of me so desperately wants to be a mum and have my little buba safe inside me.

Hi everyone and hope you are all doing okay.

I am not sure what's going on but I am on cd42... no period... have taken three pregnancy tests over the last week and all negative.

Have had weird twinges which feel like period coming but also had similar twinges when was pregnant before miscarried previously.

But three BFNs means I'm not going to get a BFP now, just wish my period would just come along now!! Don't want to go to the doctor but will probably have to.

If anyone has had a similar issue let me know xxx

@knitkitty I know what you mean about af. For me, I know where I stand when af arrives - the emotions are far more straightforward than a new pregnancy. I think it's also all about accepting what is happening and, as others have said before, keeping in mind how you are right now. Easily said!

How has everyone's weekend been so far?

I went to a Macmillan coffee morning where they had a "name the elephant" table. Thinking of you @boboelephant I put in the name Bobo and guess what...I won the elephant! I'm taking this as a sign it's a lucky month for us both @boboelephant !

I haven't caught up with all the posts yet but just had to say @strawberrye that's awesome!!! 😍😍 bless you! I so hope it's a good sign for us both!! Carrying on with the good luck theme, today I was walking along the street and felt something wet on my face. Turns out a bird pooped and it landed on my chin and down my top! Ewwww!!! Now I've been told that bird poo is good luck so with @KnitKitty dream, your elephant and my bird poo- this has to be my month!! 🤞

@crazyhorseylady and @hellotoyellow congratulations!!! I think there are some threads called the brexit babes and another more cake for more babies...

Sorry I'm a bit short on time but welcome to the newbies and I'm so sorry for your losses. This is a lovely supportive group.

Hope everyone is ok!

Congratulations @strawberrye (and @Boboelephant !) hope you enjoyed your morning. Bobo is super cute. Bobo, a symbol of kindness ❤️

@KnitKitty I think I know what you mean. I want so much to have a baby safe inside me too but I'm questioning whether I can do that now. AF seems to be something my body can do on autopilot!! Plus it means I can have a drink. Cheers girls!!

My AF started today a few days early. I'm usually 15 days bang on from positive opk to period. 13 this month. Is that ok do you think or potentially something else going haywire? Also, any one know if I should be worried that I don't get much of an LH surge? Last 3 cycles my temp rise has been on the day of first positive OPK - I thought ovulation was meant to be a few days later? I need to watch CM closer next cycle I think.

What's everyone's plans tonight? We're having wine and watching tv. DH currently making dinner!

Evening ladies just back from my lovely holiday so sorry not been keeping up. Congrats to those with bfp's and sorry for af and any new ladies.

I am on 4dpo having had fw and ov while on holiday dtd a few times so bet the symptom spotting will be a bit more this month. (must not use Dr Google!)

I am just sitting with a cuppa trying not to fall asleep in front of the TV...

Ugh I just spent a good 20 mins replying to everyone when the app crashed! I'll try again tomorrow but have 4 days to catch up on 🙈

Managed to have a lovely day today despite it being my due date. I wasn't sure how I would feel but my DH and I mostly walked around Tenby and Saundersfoot and it has been special.