TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

@Mistymeow hi cycle twin! Fingers crossed for both of us this month, and I hope you have a more "normal" cycle - I bet 35 days feels like ages (I know it would to me as mine are 26-28 days)

@boboelephant indeed fingers crossed for October. It's a poignant month for me as it marks a year since starting trying and the due date of my first pregnancy

@redrobin7 best of luck for today

@strawberrye @mistymeow good luck for this new cycle.

Re private tests, I spent £500 early on on a fertility MOT which seemed fairly good value (consultation, amh, scan, sperm analysis). They were very clear the amh didn't mean the eggs were good quality though. Recently went for a subsequent consultation which was £200. Also paid £400 -extortionate!-for thyroid tests which I didn't really need (and was therefore too embarrassed to ask my GP for) but had previously had some positive antibodies so wanted to check, especially as I was so cold through the first pregnancy. I'm torn about tests for clotting as I have a family history of lupus but am wary of paying for lots of things that might make me anxious. Sure I could get the GP to test after two due to family history.

Thanks for sharing the acupuncture stories - I went to someone for a few appointments before the first pregnancy but then decided it was a bit of a waste of time and money (seemed to think I should spent huge amounts on supplements, and was always in the middle of the day). I'm a scientist so quite naturally skeptical of paying extra for what on the surface is the same thing, although I did love the sessions themselves. Might think about going back. I'm just not sure I could take the sadness of anyone telling me that they could avoid a future ectopic, and that's now what I'm most worried about.

Hi ladies,

I've found a little time to drop by. Hope you're all doing ok. Hugs to those of you who need one.

@Clumsykitten I have asthma too. I just take 100mcg clenil modulite twice in morning and afternoon. I've got a review coming up in a week or two and am going to talk to the nurse about TTC while on meds. It would definitely be a good idea to book a review to discuss your options/concerns.

@Boboelephant Thanks. I've got pretty high hopes this month. I just feel good about this cycle, but I'm hoping I'm not setting myself up for a fall. The surge only lasted a day, so I'm hoping that's a good sign that I ovulated yesterday. Had slight sensations around ovary area, but not exactly ov pains, but I don't always get O pains.

Hi all, thanks for wishing me luck today. Had a crazy busy day and don't have time to catch up but here's my update:

Consultant said nothing came back majorly wrong. My egg reserve is on the low side of normal - he’s not too concerned about that as I’ve managed to get pregnant. My blood clotting results all came back fine. Hormone wise my androgen levels were high, so I have too much testosterone floating around. Theres no evidence that causes miscarriages but he wants to start me on metformin for PCOS - just got that from the pharmacy now.

In the meantime he wants me to have the camera in my uterus so that he can cut away any tissue that is dipping down - not sure how I feel about that plus we think it’s too much money to be covered on my private health insurance. He said he can refer me on the NHS but it would be a 3-4 month wait rather than in a couple of weeks. I think getting the NHS referral is the best option. He did say we can carry on trying so that way we can see what happens and it gives me time to decide if I want the hysteroscopy.

As nothing sticks out majorly it could just be bad luck or it could be chromosomal and the only way to test that is if I have another loss that allows them to test the tissue. Not really good or bad news really but at least the medication is a start. I am expecting my period tomorrow so we will start trying again in two weeks if my husband's work doesn't take him away during our FW!

I really don't think I can handle a third loss but I desperately want to be pregnant again. I had hoped we'd get more answers. Feeling a bit meh now.

@RedRobin7 glad you got some solutions as well as an overall 'not too worried'. The procedure sounds a bit scary - certainly something to take time to think about. I'm sorry they couldn't give you a 'fix' though but hopefully you have enough with a pinch of luck to get a full term baby next cycle. We might be cycle buddies again - I'm due on in 3 days, testing tomorrow ahead of my dr appt but not remotely hopeful.

Wow what a debate on testing! Im gonna ask the GP what I can get tomorrow, if I get that far in to the conversation. Have been struggling to keep it together whilst i wrote my notes of what to say to her so fear I'll just break down and not be able to talk! I've also made some enquiries with a private clinic here and , if I have the time and/or strength, may also ask the GP about private referrals if there's not much they are willing to do.

This is such an ordeal isn't it. I honestly never thought I'd be obsessing over getting pregnant and having a baby. I hate how this had consumed my life and all my plans, how it makes me question friendships, social occasions and even everything I eat and drink. What's worse is how it all has to stay hidden from most of the outside world. You ladies are such a help and so grateful for this safe space we've created. 😘

@redrobin7 results can be difficult to consume can’t they, but all round you are doing something different this time that could be all it takes, one small change. I presume the doc has evidence from a scan that the hysterescopy is needed, or perhaps it doesn’t work that way? I had a scan to confirm all was good as part of my tests.

@dodlebobs completely with you on your last paragraph. There is only so long I can keep ‘planning’ for a pregnancy or baby. I’m not there yet but at some point I know I’ll throw in the towel, because I still need to live wholly and fully and I’m not doing that right now x

@Laney79 I definitely think getting some tests are a good idea of it eases your mind. The GP sent me to a gynaecologist to get tests done after an EP and a MC so it's very doctor dependent. As already mentioned, AMH tests your egg reserve though, not egg quality. Yoga yin does some fertility yoga that focuses on improving egg quality if you are worried about that.
@strawberrye I hope you get your October bfp. It'd be poignant for me too. Both of my pregnancy losses I found out I was pregnant in October. Actually if I fell this month bubs would have the same exact due date as my first loss but 2 years later.
@KnitKitty all sounds positive! Hope is important so keep those hopes up and enjoy your visitors.
@RedRobin7 glad that nothing is majorly wrong although I do know the feeling of being told all is fine and actually wanting there to be clear indication of something wrong so it can be fixed! Hopefully the metformin helps and the NHS referral sounds like a good idea too.
@doddlebobs yep it's so hard and time consuming. I yearn for the time I thought it was all so easy.
@Yukka maybe if you can convince yourself you're done then that will do the trick! Everyone keeps telling me to just forget about it and relax and that when we stop trying is when it will happen. Drives me mad actually because I'd love to know how to just stop wanting something that you want more than anything. But I think having a different focus is a great idea- unfortunately I'm just a bit obsessive. 🤦‍♀️

Hi everyone
Thanks for new post
Age 37
TTC #4
Mmc march 2018 @ 14 weeks
Retained products June 2018

10 dpo. Don’t feel pregnant and a positive opk 4 days before AF. DTD anyway!
Good luck to all. Roll on the Bfp for all!

Thanks @Boboelephant - to be honest I think I just need some answers even if it's saying that X isn't a problem and neither is xx or whatever. At the moment my instinct is saying there is an issue, and I'm not willing to ignore it a second time, especially at 39.

@RedRobin7 as others have said, pleased there's nothing bad been found, hopefully as bobo and @Yukka said a small change will be the difference. I too would be wary of hysteroscopy. But then I can only just cope with a blood test. Did he say anything about this endometrial scratch thing that some places (inc dr Quenby in Coventry) are doing?

As for me-TMI warning-well it looks like my body may be sorting it itself this time. Tuesday Eve I had about an hour and a half of very strong cramps/contractions and small clots. Then yesterday afternoon another couple of hours of even worse pain. Didn't pass much in the way of clots but lots of blood. Reckon on the basis of last time I'm prob halfway there

I saw the GP -she said my best bet was to try and get the consultant who I saw about my phobia/c section request to see if he'd see me. I saw him the day before the scan. Managed to speak to him yesterday and basically broke down and begged for help. He said I need to get through this, then wait 6 weeks for pregnancy hormones to leave the system then see him. It's great he's willing to see me but it feels like such a long time.

I'm still researching private routes too. It's just so bloody hard. I should've had my booking appt last night, and my first due date for bean is looming, 24th oct.

You ladies are amazing. I am so grateful to have you to vent/discuss/cry/laugh with. I'm not ready to give up on my dream of being a mom yet. Xxx

@RedRobin7 glad that the results came back as nothing too worrying but get that wondering if there may be something chromosomal but can't test for that unlees you have another loss which no-one wants. Hope the metformin helps and the NHS referral sounds good.

Good luck to anyone still in tww. Fx for you all.

I'm currently CD15 of cycle 2 post mc. 5th day with flashing smiley. Last month I got static smiley on CD15 after only 2 days of flashing smiley so worried I'm already out this month and won't ov.

Been feeling so miserable lately but one positive thing .......yesterday I got Take That tickets in their pre-sale for their tour next year. Chuffed.

@RedRobin7 I’m glad nothing major was found - that’s definitely a positive. Sounds like it’s going in the right direction with the medication and procedure. At least you have some time to think about what you want to do too.

@doddlebobs I know what you mean - I never thought that TTC and pregnancy would be so hard. I thought it would take a few months at most and once I was pregnant I thought that would be it! Didn’t even consider MC. It’s such an exhausting journey, it really consumes you. I’m so glad that we all have this group to come to, it helps knowing that you’re not alone x

I got a positive OPK yesterday so was quite happy, it felt like such a relief!

@InDreamland I'm not a big take that fan but my mate is-went to see them in Düsseldorf -I think the progress tour? The one with the giant robot? It was a pretty awesome gig I have to say!!!

Hi hope no one minds. I would like to still hang around for a while as I'm not ready to leave just yet. Also I want to keep up with you all and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you all and looking forward to seeing your bfp's xx

Hi All,
Just a little update I had my GP appt for blood results today. Doctor tells me all normal. I have to ring tomorrow so they can confirm I have a copy of the results as I requested. Receptionist was being a bit bulshy but I know I am entitled to them as hey are my data.
However, GP has agreed to do a referral to the local gynae department for recurrent miscarriage after only two losses. I didn't expect him to do that but he was happy to. Just thought I would share as it might be worth asking. X

Hi! I haven't posted much as I found myself getting a bit too obsessed with it all but have been catching up every couple of weeks. Sorry to hear some of you have been having a bit of a rough ride. I am very fortunate and have just done a test on cd26 (after promising myself I wouldn't test until cd29) and it's positive. I'm now feeling very pleased, especially after feeling a bit depressed about turning 35 yesterday so reaching the ridiculous 'geriatric' maternity category, but now I'm super anxious. Am I right in thinking that there was another thread that some of the BPFs from here created for people who were pregnant after MC? Can anyone point me in the right direction? Babydust to everyone, and fingers crossed for a sticky one this time....

@indreamland a bit jealous of take that! Well done!

@RedRobin investigations sound so far so good as does the NHS referral. Hope you are finding the process a bit reassuring.

@Laney79 I understand wanting to rule things out.

Fellow TWWers @strawberrye @boboelephant, good luck!

I got a positive on a FRER this afternoon (and one yesterday on an American early response test) at 10dpo. My ectopic was never positive this early and I feel sick and wiped so fingers crossed it's at least in the right place. Feel nervous as anything.

Congrats @hellotoyellow and @crazyhorseylady hope you both have healthy sticky beans xxx

Congrats @crazyhorseylady. I'm only on CD21 so plenty of time to go a different way but seriously hoping it is in the right place and then it sticks.

@hellotoyellow and @crazyhorseylady , congratulations! And fingers crossed the little bean sticks!
I'm around 14dpo but haven't tested. Time will tell!

@Laney79 yep that's the one. It was awesome! Love Loved it!

@hellotoyellow will you be trying to get tickets in the general sale tomorrow? I see extra dates have already been added.

Done an OPK this evening and got my static smiley! Hurrah! No prizes for guessing what I'm getting up to tonight.

Static smiley and Take That tickets! Best buy a ticket for Euromillions too lol! OMG if I get managed to get pregnant this month by some miracle ......Take That concert in May?

Congrats on the bfps!
AF due in 4 days. Just got a faint positive on a Sainsbury’s test. (Husband purchased even after I’d asked for pink..) it was evening wee. Pretty convinced it’s an evap line. Very blue but very thin.
Anyway that’s ruined my sleep tonight. Test again in morning.
Baby dust to all. Big hugs to those that need them xx

BFN this morning. Pissed off 😡 massively. Sorry for rant I just can’t keep doing this to myself.

@Melpops36 you're not out until AF shows. It may just be too early to pick up x

@Melpops36 I'm sorry that's so cruel. Was that also a blue test or a pink one? You're not out until AF though, good luck xxx

@Melpops36 Fingers crosses you’re just too early.

Cd26 here with very definite af cramps. I hate these last few days of a cycle, even though I clearly know af is coming there’s always a tiny bit of hope that you know is about to be dashed. I really hate cd1 too but at least you know where you stand 😤😤😤
Plus, everyone in the world (or so it seems to me) is getting pregnant, even some that aren’t really trying 😩😩😩