TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧🐧

Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

@strawberrye I'm really sorry-I'll hope on your behalf that it's a duff test and it's not a sign of another loss. Big hugs xxx

@Yukka congrats on your BFP but so sorry to hear about diagnoses, Ive never heard it sorry but it sounds awful. Wishing you all the luck in the workd for your treatment 🤞

@KnitKitty I have already started using the OPKS but so far only a very faint line. I'm sure the OH will be happy that we need to DTD more regular. I ma totally with you on the health kick too. I try my best to eat healthy and really struggle to motivate myself to go the gym. Especially now it's winter!! If you come across anything let me know, but sounds like you are doing great anyway!!

@hayleyfx thanks for the luck and hopefully it won't be long, I can get pretty impatience and obsessed with things 🙈 so trying my best to keep a positive mind x

@Dimblebimble I would it's nothing to worry about, it's probably just left over and DTD may of helped. I still get some now so i'm sure everything is fine x

So going of what you lovely ladies have said then it is on now for giving it a go and if it doesn't happen then hopefully I will learn more about my cycle. Practice makes prefect right....😊

@strawberrye and @Laney79 I'm so sorry ladies I wish I could say something that will make you feel better.

Oh gosh, some awful news this morning.

strawberrye Sorry you're having a tough time. I can understand why you have concluded this is another loss, but it's not 100% yet. Hpts aren't designed to show progression. I'd do whatever gets you through the day, whether that's going to the doctor for hcg bloods or bunkering down with a duvet and boxsets. xx

Laney I'm sorry about the hideous bfn. It's such an unwelcome sight.

I've found after mcs at mt breasts are just tender at any random point during the tww.

Haleyfx thank you for sharing what you wrote. It was really beautiful and heartfelt. I did have a little well up. Good luck with epu, it's definitely self referral.

Lilimum of course you must be anxious after hearing your cousin's experience - I can't imagine. But complications like this must be lightening bolt rare. Thankfully it's not long until you get an answer, but until then take good care of yourself and get decent rest. I'm so sorry this has happened to you after a loss, it's deeply unfair. xx

@HSapr thank for your support and kind words x
@KnitKitty your a star to me x
@Laney79 thanks for the advice re asprin I think I'll try it, it can't hurt x
@hayleyfx don't let them fob you off you tell them what you expect from them and stamp your feet until you get it x Also thank you so much for sharing your words about Charlie, so beautiful xx
@SerenaOverjoyed thank for your kind words xx

Thank to anyone else I didn't mention xx

Gosh I feel like an old timer here. I've been with this group for my last three mc's and the support has been amazing I really appreciate all the support and being able to vent without fear of being that person who is just plain annoying to be around because we all get it xx
Baby dust to everyone x

@Laney the frustration with not knowing your own body is the worst. You get told time and time again to stay positive but it can be extremely difficult when you feel like you have no control. I do hope you and your OH manage to conceive as it sounds like you are having a bad time all round.

@strawberrye not all hope is lost x

I spent the last half of last week wishing it wasn't true and I was still pregnant and this week wishing it'd turn negative, I don't feel pregnant but the test has stayed positive for a week n half :(

@Tiniestsky maybe you still have HCG in your system?

By this stage that's what I'm hoping, well deep deep down I'm hoping there's been some kind of miracle and the bleed I had 2 days after finding out I was pregnant was nothing lol

@Tiniestsky have you been the doctors at all? Sorry if you have already explained all this, I am new to this thread x

Question for you ladies, I am currently on CD8 and DTD last night, sorry TMI but afterwards there was some light pink when I wiped. Also today I have had pink mucus when I wipe, only this morning so far? Any ideas what this could mean? x

Spoken to nurse at epu over the phone who said it sounded like a mc but to wait 3 weeks to see if test goes negative, this Friday will be 2 weeks since the bleed x

Sorry to hear that @strawberrye, I still have my fingers crossed for you, maybe it was just more dilute urine or something.

I'm still getting faint positives over 4 weeks since the D&C but because HCG is less than 25 the hospital aren't concerned. I'm still worried because my HCG was 8 just over a week ago but my levels are still clearly over 5. Also not sure if AF is here or not - it's either a really light period or really heavy spotting... I really hate not knowing what is going on!

@Beaglemum93 I feel your frustration hun.

I did a hcg and an opk Tuesday 3 weeks after mc ( 2 weeks after erpa) and done one same brand same pack and its darker. Thank god I've a scan Friday to figure out what is going on.

Top test is opk bottom hcg from yesterday (taken with in 5mins) and second pic done today (taken with in 5mins) both test from same pack

@Lilimum5 that's so confusing, hopefully the scan will show you what's going on! How sensitive are the HCG tests do you know?

@Lilimum5 the opk will be positive if there's still hcg in your system - mine were after losing bow. Seems like it's a similar hormone to hcg. In terms of the hcg tests-had you had a big drink or been to the loo before the first one? Could it be the concentration of hcg in your wee? Big hugs xxx

I'm still waiting for AF to arrive after my bfn yesterday. It really upset me. Starting to worry now about how bad it's going to be. I stopped bleeding after MMC 6/10 so it's been ages. I have so much on this next fortnight (including a 6 hour round trip to football with me driving, and what is meant to be a lovely bonkathon weekend away in London starting 2/12 as well as a couple of gigs) I'm really worried about how heavy/painful AF is going to be. Honestly my body really does seem to hate me this year-it just wont give me a break xxx

@Laney79 thanks for reply. I'm so sorry about the bfn and I really hope that AF is kind to you.
As to your body I feel the same way mmc in March, cp in June and mmc in October. I think mine needs a rest. Everyone I know is telling me that I should wait 6 months to ttc again. But I don't think I could cope with waiting that long. I will pray for us to get our rainbow babies soon x
As for those tests both taken after 3-4 hour hold but I guess they could be wrong. Wish the bleeding would do one now though. How long did you bleed for.? This has gone on since 31st October. Starting to get a bit fed of it.

@Lilimum5 first MMC (with multiple medical management) was discovered 17th March, I bled from 27 April till 5th June (the final week was my first period I believe as it got a lot heavier again after just spotting/bloody mucus). This time I started bleeding the day of what was meant to be my early reassurance scan 19th sept and I stopped 6th October-that ended up happening naturally. I did get some strange brown discharge for a week 21st Oct, almost like the start of AF but it never developed into a proper period, just brown discharge on wiping. I had positive opks 8/9/10th nov and if I take the data from the couple of cycles in between losses my Luteal phase is normally 12 days so I should be due on yesterday/today. That's if my cycles haven't been utterly screwed by the second MMC.

I wish we could take a bit of a break from trying so actively but I'm 39 and a half. I just can't risk any delay. The 50/50 chance of miscarriage at 40+ statistic is like some horrid deadline in my head. I know it's silly but it's the way I feel. Always used to joke that if we were going to have kids I didn't want to be trying for a baby when I was 40 (seen a couple of friends struggle and have probs so in my head it was my cut off.) seemed so far away at the time but now it's so very close. I'm not ready to give up. Xxx

Oh and @Lilimum5 I always do pregnancy tests with fmu-that way I know they should be roughly the same concentration as I sleep for about the same amount each night and don't drink/get up till morning cxx

@Laney79 I just finished my first AF last week since my MMC in October. It wasn't bad at all, I just had a little spotting and then AF for 3 days so I hope yours is kind to you also. I had a cycle of 30 days where as normally it would range around 23 days so hopefully it could be due for you soon 🤞 It is so frustrating when it's your own body playing this games!

@Lilimum5 I had a scan to see if all was clear and as horrible as it is, it is also a relief to know you can move forward. Some women do take longer to get negative results. I've only had one MMC and I can't wait to TTC so you most be so frustrated. I ma still not sure whats going on with my body. Hope the scan goes well for you x

Just heard back from the doctor, was a different doctor though thankfully! The urine test was positive (of course) they have referred me to the EPU for a scan at 7 weeks, so in 2 weeks time. They’ve also offered me a blood test in the meantime for reassurance and to see if my levels are going up but I don’t know whether to go for it or not, I feel like it might stress me out even more? That’s probably silly but I know what I’m like 🙈 they said to arrange it myself as if there has been no bleeding then they aren’t worried right now so it’s totally up to me. I’m just glad they actually believe me now, as if I would lie anyway!

@strawberrye I’m so sorry, there is definitely still a chance though that everything is fine. Have you tested again since? I hope you’re okay x

@Laney79 I’m sorry for the bfn 😔 I hope you’re out of limbo soon!

@SerenaOverjoyed @Lilimum5 thank you girls ❤️

Did anyone else here tell their mum the mc via messenger? Bit random I know but I was supposed to be seeing my mum tomorrow but just don't feel up to going out with her for the day to the ideal home expedition but don't know when I'll see her next. A part of me wants to just tell her quickly via message to get it done and out of the way.... that wrong?

*about

@Tiniestsky rightly or wrongly, I haven't told anyone about it. Not yet anyway, and it's only been 6 days so maybe that will change, particularly as I start going out and talking with friends etc, I'm not sure how I'm going to react. Will report back in that one!! Don't really see an issue in texting as you could say it's too hard to say in person. Or you could call her?

Hi ladies! Just wondering if I might join you? I've been reading your stories and I'm in a similar boat and looking for some support and hands to hold.

I've had 3 mmc, the last one was a late one discovered at the 20 week scan and followed by a pretty traumatic medical management. I have a wonderful DD too that I'm endlessly grateful for but this journey to getting number two is proving gruelling! AF is due today and I can feel she's on her way. 4th cycle since the last mmc.

Hope you're all doing well today xx