TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

Rung DH and he's coming home as doesn't want me going there alone. Doc said need to go today and get seen to check if did mc and if any retained products.

Congratulations @hayleyfx fingers crossed for a sticky bean. I really hope all goes well. Totally understand the anxiety you are experiencing.

Sorry you are going through this @InDreamland Glad DH can go to EPU with you.

I am in EPU at the moment with DH waiting for my second scan to confirm my MC. It's been a difficult weekend - yesterday was the due date of the first one we lost. I've been bleeding a bit - but just brown blood and not very much. It's slightly increased in the last day or so I'm not sure whether it will pass naturally or not. I had a d&c last time which I wanted to have and it went well with no complications but I'm nervous about having another one as do not want any scarring. My concern with medical treatment is that lots of people end up having surgical treatment anyway for retained product so maybe a d and c would be less traumatic. I don't know. I just hate all of this.

Thinking of you both @InDreamland @Newbie21 - the position you are both in is so hard. Sending you hugs.

@hayleyfx amazing congrats on the BFP got everything crossed for you

X

Oh @Newbie21 sending you lots of hugs. This is so shit. I hope that you can pass baby naturally and not have to have another d&c. Sending you a hand hold over the internet

I feel so stupid, I should've known to go to EPU but wasn't sure if they'd see me so early in the pregnancy. Worried they're gonna think l am wasting their time. They always do pregnancy test so if that comes back negative now I'm just gonna be devastated after having a clear line 48 hours ago on a FRER, even though I am expecting this to definitely be confirmed as mc. I want my baby to be recorded just like their sibling was - it may be a 1st trimester mc but they still existed.

I'm so sorry @Newbie21 and @InDreamland. This is so hard.

AF arrived for me yesterday. I was really hoping this was the month. :(

Oh, and congratulations @hayleyfx :)

@Newbie21 and @InDreamland thinking of you both today. I'm hold your hands even if you can't feel it. Xx

@newbie21 and @in dreamland hope you are as ok as possible and get some conclusions today.

@hayleyfx massive congrats lovely that’s amazing news. Embrace it no matter what you’re allowed to feel happy xx

@InDreamland I am so sorry lovely. The EPU will absolutely not think you are wasting their time, you have been referred by the doctor so it's the doctor's call not yours. You have a positive pregnancy test and it will be recognised. I'm hoping the bleed was something else so much. Glad dh is going to be with you. I know it's hard but probably best you are seen now so you have some answers before your holiday. Please keep us updated. Thinking of you x

@Newbie21 I hope you get some answers from EPU today. Talk to them about your worry about scarring, they will discuss any potential risks. Take care x

@hayleyfx I am so pleased for you! Wishing you all the best. Such lovely news :)

Thanks ladies. In waiting room. Seen 2 women crying already. Not a good sign hate this place. Can't believe I'm here again. 2 pregnancies and have had to come here for bleeding for both.

Think it's my turn next as person in front of me called in now.

@Panapan sorry AF showed up. Fingers crossed this cycle of yours and you're pregnant by Christmas.

Seen the nurse and urine test come up negative. Not surprised but still really sad. She thinks doc will send me for blood test but I knew yesterday morning with that massive bleed it was over. Almost wish I'd never tested, ignorance is bliss but at same time I am glad to know about my 2nd baby even if just for a few days.

@Newbie21 how are you getting on? Hope you're as ok as can be.

So sorry @InDreamland xxxx

5 years, 2 pregnancies, 2 mc's

Oh @indreamland I'm so sorry. I hope you are taking some time off? I know you have your holiday coming up soon, why don't you have a look at some activities and start planning something nice for you both? Just want to give you a big hug x

@InDreamland so sorry to read this! Words are failing me. Look after yourself! It just sucks.

Thanks @Mistymeow @Russkispy I'm just broken. Why does this happen? Had bloods taken, will hear from them tomorrow. I know what the answer will be though. I hate my useless body.

@InDreamland your body is not useless! Don't blame yourself. I know how much you want it but please don't give up! I'm absolutely convinced it will happen to you! At the moment it feels Shit! It passes, and you'll get pregnant again and will have your baby! I know it's hard but try to stay positive!

@hayleyfx tentative congratulations! Hope it all works out this time! Everything crossed for you!

@dreamland sorry they confirmed the mc today. There are so many reasons this can happen. It’s difficult when we can test so early only to be let down so quickly, I’m not always sure the ability to test early is a good thing. But that said, you have got pregnant twice quite quickly recently so something has already changed for you in a good way than the previous 5yrs. Your body is doing what it should do if it’s not a viable pregnancy...its sad and upsetting but good signs of fertility. As is your regular cycles etc.

It’s difficult to see the silver linings but they are there. Rest and relax, recover, and when you are ready try again, chances are the next one is your rainbow baby xx

Hi everyone, mind if I join?

I found out at my 12 week scan that although it was measuring at 12+2 my baby's heart had stopped beating. I had two failed attempts of medical management followed by a d&c 3 weeks ago. I'm still getting positives on hpts but my HCG blood test today was 8 so hopefully I can start ttc again soon.

Sorry you're all here, it's all so unfair :(

Congrats @haleyfx, I really hope it works out for you this time x

@Beaglemum93 so sorry you find yourself here. That must have been so difficult for you. Good that your HCG levels have dropped and hopefully you will be TTC very soon.

Sorry they confirmed the MC @InDreamland. I understand the wondering about whether it's best not to know. The cycle before I fell pregnant this time, I tested on my period due date and got a BFP but then a week later I suddenly had a big bleed and it was gone. After that I vowed I would not test until I was at least a week late which is what I did this time round. Today went as well as can be expected I suppose although the gestational sac is still growing but there is no baby there so my body is just not quite working it out. I asked whether it was possible that i would miscarry naturally but the nurse, who was lovely, said that I could wait and see and they would support that but she said she doubted very much that I would without seriously risking infection as my HCG levels were high and my body wasn't recognizing the MC. I spoke to her about scarring and she said that even with the blind D&C op that they do the chance of scarring was incredibly small. I'm fortunate to have health insurance and it covers MMCs so I'm booking in with the gynecologist who did my previous D&C under ultrasound. Will hopefully have the op on Friday. I'm sad but I know once I've had the D&C I'll be able to grieve and then hopefully move on.

@beaglemum93 sorry you are here. 12 weeks is quite far really although I know they class it as early. I’m glad your hcg is nearly normal. Hopefully your cycles will get back to normal quickly.

@newbie21 sounds like a good decision and good you’re healthcare will cover it too. Hopefully can be seen soon x

So sorry @InDreamland, big hugs