TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

@straweberrye hey! Nice to hear from you. Passing through the cycles and milestones is hard. I know what you mean about being pregnant again. My third mc due date was 8th December and I totally thought I’d be first trimester down by then. Clearly not although I’ve got over it somehow at the moment it doesn’t phase me....I guess it’s just hope, keeps us going.

Re referral, my gp counted our first two losses as mc (5wks) rather than cp as conception did occur but chromosome or implantation failure meant not viable. So I think they would refer you to rmc first for baseline bloods. How early were your mcs Hun? Did you ever have an early scan for heartbeat check? Xxx

@fnej01 @mistymeow @strawberrye thanks ladies. With this amount of bleeding I'm 99.9% certain I've lost this one too. Will see what GP days tomorrow, unless I end up in pain and down A&E before the morning. Just hope GP receptionist doesn't try fob me off when I call up for an appointment.

I definitely need this pregnancy registered. Will they register as a definite pregnancy and mc? So early on? Will they take my + tests as enough confirmation because I've not registered with midwife or gone to EPU (which isn't open weekends)?

@strawberrye I'm sorry you're struggling. It's such a shit thing for all of us to go through. I don't really have much advice as I just don't know what I'm doing with this TTC/pregnancy game - otherwise I'd have a successful pregnancy. Just sending you hugs

@fnej01 pregnancy announcements are hard to cope with. Glad you've got some nice distractions. Hope when you get your test results you'll get some answers x

@Yukka I was 5 weeks with loss #1 in late January. Loss #2 is weird - essentially I was on clearblue trial and had started my period and had tested negative, but because on the trial I had to test a few days into my period which then came back as positive. I had blood hCG done at GP which came back within the range for 5 weeks. But I wouldn't have known about loss #2 if I was not on clearblue trial as I would have just assumed it was a normal period. I've never had a ultrasound which shows a heartbeat, which sometimes means I wonder whether all of this is in my head...

I feel like I have lost all hope now to be honest. I was really hoping I would fall pregnant in the last few months - in August I changed jobs from a very stressful job which involved a lot of irregular shifts, and I was on thyroxine to help my thyroid. However I have been taken off thyroxine now as even a tiny dose was too much for me, and the change to a less stressful job, and lots of minibreaks/a holiday clearly hasn't done the trick. I'm wondering whether I have something chromosomal as my mum had a MC before having me, and my gran MC twins. Also I am the only female to be born on that side of the family for several generations so can't help thinking something must be wrong with one of the X chromosomes?

@InDreamland thank you for the hugs, sending some hugs back. I think they should count this pregnancy on the basis of your positive tests.

Hello ladies I'm going to ask some advice because I'm puddled, I warn you this will be a long post.

So my bleeding post mmc bleeding has become spotting in the last 3 days. So I read on line that pregnancy can be detected on ovulation sticks and I just wanted to see how I was getting on. So I did one 3 days ago and every day since. But they just got more positive, so freaking out thinking after everything I've already been through the last 12 days I still have retained products. I made DH go and buy me some hpts to check for sure but they are so faint I would class them nothing more than evap lines. Is it really possible to ovulate just 9 days after mc or is my body totally mucked up and out of it.
I'm so worried that it is going to take forever to get back to ttc again.

This is a test I just done a few mins ago, on about a 45 minute hold 😂 it’s quite a strong line so I don’t think leftover hcg but still feeling very nervous and unsure... got a digi, clearblue plus and some cheapies to keep testing haha!! £30 gone 🤦‍♀️

@KnitKitty thank you! It’s definitely much darker than my test from 3 weeks ago, that one didn’t even show up on camera it was so faint! Still feeling very nervous though, will test again tomorrow and then book dr appointment! 🤞

@Yukka thank you hun, fingers crossed! I hope you’re doing well x

@ClumsyKitten @Mistymeow @fnej01 thanks ladies! I’ll keep you all updated, in the meantime I’m trying to stay as sane as possible 🙄😂

@InDreamland I’m so sorry 😔 it’s just so unfair, internal scans don’t cause MC and neither is it anything you have done. You’ve done everything right. If this is another loss (still got fingers crossed for you) then I’m so sorry, this will happen for you one day. Sending you hugs and strength, keep us updated and stay strong ❤️

@strawberrye I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I don’t really have any advice but just want to say I know how you’re feeling and so does everyone here. We’re all here for you and praying that you get your rainbow, as well as every single other person here! Sending hugs

@imdreamland they should count it just on your test so deff see the doc to get it on your record x

@straweberrye the only reason I asked About heartbeat is my gp/consultant said that mc after heartbeat is less common and usually can be attributed to some cause if testing can take place, either chromosome of the foetus or something with mum or Dad, so before that sadly is very common but reassuringly only 1% of women have a third loss. Try and stay positive and @indreamland too.

@lilimum5 after my last mc I ovulated about day 9 and completely missed it until af arrived, I couldn’t believe it. Test again in a few more days xx

@hayleyfx really hopeful for you the line looks good xx

@strawberrye sometimes de-stressing can take a while to show positively on you physically. Give it a few more months, try not to put pressure on yourself - I know easier said than done. Keeping my fingers crossed for you 🤞 thanks for the hugs x

@Lilimum5 I'm no expert but I don't think it's impossible to ov straight after mc. Think mc's do crazy stuff to our bodies. That said I think I was advised by others on MN that ov tests may not necessarily be accurate at detecting ov straight after mc. Sorry, not very helpful. Only way to be sure is to test with hpt again maybe in 5 days time to see if hcg is decreasing, of not then see you're GP as you will want to rule out retained products.

@hayleyfx thanks lovely. Your FRER looks very + to me. Fingers crossed it's a new pregnancy!

@Yukka thank you. Not sure not how I can ever think positive. I thought 5 years of being unable to get pregnant taut sucked and I struggled to deal with that then I did fall pregnant but the excitement was so short. This is mc #2 in the space of 4 months. Feel like such a failure.

Saw a woman yesterday pushing the hugest buggy, she had quads!!!!!! 4 perfect sleeping little girls. She also had an older little girl too. I thought, how come she gets 5 babies? I'd be happy right now to just have one at home with me

Deffo a line there @hayleyfx -congrats and fingers crossed for a sticky healthy little bean for you lovely.

@InDreamland are you getting any pains at all? Or crampy like AF? I don't want to give you false hope but some ladies do seem to have quite a lot of blood loss and still have a healthy baby (my mom told me she didn't even realise she was pregnant with my brother and his stillborn twin as she bled like a period for the first 6 months! - it was late 60's so no scans etc). If it is the worst news absolutely they should register it as an MC-don't take no for an answer. I really feel for you.

@strawberrye is your GP good? If so I'd ask for their advice re: fertility/rmc Referral. Its so so tough. It certainly feels so unfair that we struggle so much where others simply seem to blink and have trouble free pregnancies. If chromosomes are a worry and there's family history is it worth discussing genetic testing with your gp? See what's the best way to get that?

@Lilimum5 re:opks mine were blazing positive whilst I still had hcg in the system but as soon as I had a neg preg test they were negative. I guess it would be poss for you to ov 9 days after MC - it may be your body kicking back after Mc. Are you using IC? Or clear blue?

@fnej01 glad you have the wedding plans to distract you, bet that's really good fun!

As for me-well this ovulation lark post MMC #2 is rather mystifying. I got a clearblue smiley on Thursday with fmu (although as you know lines didn't look as they would on an IC) did an IC with second wee of the day and it was getting there but not what I'd call positive, the one at 1800 on thurs was positive or very close to. So fri am I test with fmu and both clearblue and ic are positive...so thinking deffo Ovulate Friday eve. Ic Tests stay positive though right through Friday and still positive sat eve! Now gone negative 3pm Sunday.

So any guesses when I may actually have ovulated? Never had a lh surge/positive opks last 3 days before? We dtd fri eve/sat am but OH didn't finish but did successfully dtd first thing today. Other than that it was last Saturday for last successful dtd. So thinking prob slim chance for conception...thoughts? I'm confuddled!! Xxx

@Laney79 I'm not really crampy, just feeling wiped out, really tired. Had some tummy area cramps but just needed a no.2 (sorry if TMI). I'm still having period like bleeding so passing some clots. I hace heard of stories like your mum's. I worked with someone who bless her had absolutely no idea she was pregnant, then she started getting some tummy aches, went to her doc and found out she was due in a couple of months! She was a big girl and didn't notice any weight gain. Those stories are rare though. I'm realistic, after the last 5 years and mc in July I know I'm just going to be one of the extremely unlucky ones who will just never be able to have a baby. I know I should be grateful for everything I have but we want a family so much. We have a bedroom ready for our little one........... before we got married we already had that room earmarked for our first baby's room and the other one (currently DHs home gym) as baby no.2s bedroom and painted them in a neutral baby colour. Just feel so stupid for thinking it would work out just like that.

Sorry posted too soon.

Maybe my brain not working, the CB smiley stayed for 3 days? Or the ic came up + for 3 days?

Ov could've happened any time during those days. If you dtd last Sat successfully unsure if sperm will live that long but if you ov'd lastnight you may just have caught it this morning. Sorry, I'm rubbish at this sort of thing.

Hope you have managed to catch it this month!

@InDreamland well I'll keep hoping on your behalf. See what the doctor says-if there is a problem better to know and then have a chance at fixing it in my opinion.

The clear blue was positive thurs and fri am, didn't do it sat first thing as assumed id have ov'd and surge would be over but then the internet cheapie on sat eve late on was a clear positive too!! CB was negative this morning. Hoping I ov'd late yesterday or first thing Friday as either would give us a shot either from last Saturday arvo dtd or this morning!!!

Thanks for all the replies and kind words ladies...

@InDreamland I don't think your GP will quibble about registering this pregnancy. I didn't have any evidence of MC #2 at 5 weeks and there was no quibble.

@Laney79 I had a long surge before I don't think you pop the egg until the end of the surge so I reckon your timing should be fine. Fx for you.

Ladies trying to get referral to RMC, I literally printed out the information (including the section on how to get referred) at the link below and told my GP that was where I needed to be referred... he sorted it there and then. Just in case it helps someone else.... rmc contacted me with appointment the following day. Appointment not until Jan because they have said body needs to get back to baseline before testing, and needs to recover from 3mc in 6 months

www.tommys.org/our-organisation/our-research/research-miscarriage

@Laney79 thank you. I agree, I would like to know what is going wrong so it can be fixed. You might still have just caught it either side so fingers crossed for you 🤞

@fnej01 I hope GP can see me first thing tomorrow. I need to know what is going on with my body. Thanks for posting the link, I hppe I won't need it but good to know just in case. Glad you got your reversal and an appointment for January, hope you can get some answers.

The bleeding isn't as heavy now but still definitely there. I just don't understand what's going on. No pain. Will it get worse? My first mc physically was just awful, this is more like a period, heavy, very heavy this morning but has got lighter now. I'm worried the worst is still to come but with it being so early could it just be this? Whatever happens though I'm determined to get on that plane on Saturday. We need this holiday so much, more than ever now.

Thanks @clumsykitten. Glad you're feeling better. Exercise does help. Wow didn't know the Obama girls were IVF.

Called GP surgery and receptionist won't book me in to see doc, said will get a call first then if doc feels needs to see me then will tell me what time to come in. Feeling fobbed off

Omg... got my BFP!! I really didn’t expect it this month but I’m over the moon! Trying to stay calm, going to book Dr appointment today and take it from there. I think I’m only 12dpo so very early days! I’m terrified of having another MC. After 4 losses you just lose all hope... I wish I could look at a positive test and think “we’re having a baby!” Instead of “so I guess I’m going to have another mc” 😣 I want this bean to stick so much! Trying to stay positive though and tell myself that “today I am pregnant” ... 🤞

@Clumsykitten I’m glad you’re feeling more positive and had a nice weekend with your DH. I had no idea they were IVF babies! You don’t realise quite how many people go through struggles with TTC and pregnancy, it’s lovely to hear happy stories!

@InDreamland I’m not sure but I hope that the worst is over and that everything starts to settle soon. Stay strong and have an amazing holiday, you really do deserve it. I hope you’re okay xx

Huge congrats @hayleyfx -fingers crossed for you.

@InDreamland the receptionist surely shouldn't have the power to refuse you a GP appt!!! She's not a medic?! Id ask for the practice manager and explain that you need to see a doctor, and that you won't take no for an answer. That's just not on. I'd be tempted to make a complaint. Unless they are triaging every single request for an appointment (which would take forever) I can see no reason why you wouldn't warrant an appointment. Yes they can ask for basic details to pass onto the dr but surely it's not up to them if you get an appt or not! Do you have access to book appts online? I use that as it bypasses the phone system. Big hugs xxx

Congratulations @hayleyfx! Fingers crossed for a sticky bean! I understand the anxiety of having another mc. As soon as I saw my BFP last week my first thought was I can't cope with another loss.

I keep looking at my line progression from Thursday morning to Saturday morning. How with a darker line Saturday morning can I 1 hour later start bleeding?

@clumsykitten thank you. Sending you lots of hugs, sorry you're having a hard time x

@Laney79 my surgery unfortunately have that system and I can't argue with them. Only time I've managed to insist on an appointment was during my last pregnancy and was being fobbed off by everyone so turned up in tears so they squeezed me in.

Doc phoned me now and told me to go to EPU as they cannot do anything test wise but thinks I need another scan. I don't think I can drive myself up there I'm such a state and DH is at work.