TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

Well AF is definitely here with no mistake now. It's painful and really heavy which I haven't had even with all the early MCs/CPs. So hopefully I'm in the middle of a really good clear-out. But it's not fun.
Feeling ok emotionally, but I'm exhausted.

Hi ladies I take coq10 plus prenatal vitamins plus additional omega 3 to help egg quality. I’m nearly 40.

@clumsykitten - breath in for 5 and out for 10 - that will help if you feel emotionally vulnerable at work. Do it a few times. It’s a hatha yoga practice.

@indreamland congrats and thinking of you. Try to remember most women’s next pregnancy is ‘the one’.

@melpops so sorry love xxx

Cd 21 here think 8dpo. No test results yet from docs. See what next week brings. If no bfp I hope af arrives on time and then I know my cycles are back to normal. Small steps forward.

Xx

@knitkitty I had one like that 2 months ago and hopefully now things are getting back to normal. Sorry you feel crap..,,duvet day in front of the tv?

I’ll recommend a film to cheer everyone up ...I feel pretty... it’s really funny cheesy cringe chick flick but add a box of chocs and pjs and it’s good medicine for the soul!

Thanks all. Just really tough times. We're going swimming today just to try and do something different and get some exercise. Other half is just so tense and feeling he HAS to perform so even when we are dtd he can't let go.

I'm also taking co-enzyme q10. Take 300mg with my pregnacare preconception at tea time. Like several others now I've had two mmcs and no successful pregnancies and I'm 39 I'm really concerned about egg quality. I don't want to take too much as we have fallen pregnant twice since the start of the year so don't want to upset that, but equally if quality is an issue then I need to do something.

I've been reading it starts with the egg by Rebecca Fett and joined the Facebook group...think I'm going to stick with the q10 for now, see what happens the consultant and my results on the 27th and take it from there. I'd be tempted by DHEA looking at some of the research but I've seen it can mess with cycles and I don't want to do that. It's so difficult. @Lilimum5 The FB group may be worth you taking a look at? Rebecca actually responds in there to questions so you could ask her about q10?

carrying on from @Yukka suggestion-we watched "last Vegas" a couple of weeks ago, good one to watch with other half. About a bunch of older men heading to Vegas for a stag do-Robert de Niro, Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman etc. Was very funny.

@KnitKitty sending hugs. Sounds rough xxx

@TinyPaws pleased the first part has gone ok-fingers crossed for the rest of the protocol.

@Boboelephant I'm going to counselling every fortnight. If nothing else it's helpful to just get stuff off your chest and not feel judged or that you'll upset someone.

@Newbie21 thanks for the info from your consultant. I also worry about menopause. It's so hard to try and understand our bodies. I most definitely have issues with mine. Always have really, never been exactly body confident and now it's let me down twice I really struggle. I just don't have faith that my body will do what it's designed to.

@Mathsymummy that nurse really isn't considering you as a whole person-she's just looking at your physical state. The mental side has a huge impact. I honestly think that's why my gp/consultant agreed to the tests as my EPAU nurse could see the detrimental impact what I've been through was having in my mental health. I'd be tempted to book with gp anyway and discuss with them.

Thanks @clumsykitten @panapan @KnitKitty @TinyPaws @boboelephant and @Yukka. I think it's over ....... so got up this morning, all normal, no bleeding, was naughty and did another FRER, line a little stronger (also did one yesterday but was after lunch so not as strong). Anyway went for my scan (8am appointment) at NHS, this was to check everything there was ok for conceiving given took 5 years to get pregnant before mc in July and nothing causing mc. As soon as scan finished, wiped when she took the wand out and lots of spots of blood. Sonographer said it was likely because I was tense down there and caused some bleeding. Fat forward 3 hours and I've started bleeding more now and it's looking redder so have put a pad on. I knew this wound be too good to be true. Goung to lose this one too now

I've attached a pic of the 3 FRERs I've taken in date order.

@KnitKitty sorry AF turned up but as you said I hipe your system is just having a good clear out and hope you feel better soon.

Sorry for all the other AFs that have turned up. Sending you all hugs!

@boboelephant keeping my fingers crossed for you. I have a friend who managed to have another baby after ectopic so it's possible for you. Really hppe that 2019 is your year to welcome another baby to your family x

Hope you enjoy your swimming @Laney79.

I think I'm going to look into the co-Q10. Sounds like you all recommend it. Can that just be bought off the shelf?

@Clumsykitten thanks hunni. I'm only 4+3 so too early to see anything. I just know there's nothing I can do now. Gotta just wait it out. I was relieved with the slightly stronger line this morning then an hour later at the hospital was just devastated to see that blood. Sonographer tried to just say it was likely from me being tense during scan and should be ok but said to call GP on Monday if I'm worried and ask for an early scan at 6 weeks (I'll be on holiday - fly out next weekend for 1.5 weeks). I just know that this won't end well.

Thank you @Clumsykitten. I know I hear of others who bleed and everything turns out ok with a healthy baby to bring home but I feel like I just have so much bad luck in the conception and pregnancy world.

Hi ladies, I haven’t been on in so long that the thread disappeared! Was having a break from everything. Had a few days away in Edinburgh with my OH which was really lovely. Just been trying to enjoy the little things again. In my cycle I’m either 9 or 10dpo today and I haven’t tested at all!! Not even really thought about it but now I kind of want to know, so going to buy a FRER today and test tomorrow. A BFP would be lovely but I’ve not been obsessing for a change!! Needed a break after all the confusion from last month, definitely helped 😊

@Lilimum5 I’m so sorry it wasn’t straightforward and that you needed the surgery but so glad it’s all over for you now and hope you’re feeling as okay as you can be. It’s just so sad. I hope you and your dh are staying strong together ❤️

@Melpops36 I’m so sorry hun, that’s just so unfair 😔 sending you so much love and strength, I hope you’re okay 💕

@InDreamland congrats on your BFP but sorry you’re having such a stressful time! I totally understand, everything is such a worry but as you said, lots of people have perfectly healthy pregnancies with some bleeding. I’ve got everything crossed for you 🤞

@KnitKitty I’m sorry af showed! Hope you’re feeling a bit better now x

@Boboelephant nice to see you back here, I’m glad you had a lovely time away!

Welcome to all newbies, I’m so sorry you find yourselves here but it’s a brilliant, supportive group of ladies. Wishing you all the best of luck in TTC!

Sorry I’ve missed loads but I had a scan through and I’ve got over 10 pages to catch up on I think haha! 🙈 I’m so sorry to everyone having a tough time, sending hugs to you all and good luck to everyone else in the TWW!

Thought I’d also add - I attended a ceremony last week in my local hospital to remember all babies lost during pregnancy or shortly after. It was so lovely but also heartbreaking as there were so many people there grieving their babies. It really helped us though. We wrote Charlie’s name on a tag and put his name proudly at the top of their rememberance tree ❤️ I think it’s such a lovely idea to do this! We’ve got a few things around the house now like Charlie’s 12 week scan framed to remind us of our precious boy. Doing these little things have helped me so much!

Hope everyone is doing okay ❤️

@hayleyfx that sounds lovely but also very emotional ❤️

@Mathsymummy it really was lovely! So upsetting seeing how many people go through this but also lovely to see how much love everyone has for their babies 👼❤️

I bought 2 FRER today and decided that I had to take one as soon as I got home! 🙄 it’s positive... I don’t know if it’s leftover hcg or a new pregnancy though. I’m about 10dpo I reckon and it’s turning into quite a nice line (my last test was about 3 weeks ago and was very faint) and I seemed to ovulate normally this month but I’m not letting myself believe it’s a new pregnancy. What do you think girls?

Thanks @Laney79 and @Yukka. I went shopping with OH and we had lunch out. Then went to my sister's for a cuppa and going to my dad's for dinner in a bit, so no duvet day, but feels like a treat day. Think I'll have a nap before I leave again. Bleeding has calmed down a bit and pain almost gone. Just tired.

@InDreamland The prodding around could have caused your cervix to bleed. It can be more sensitive during pregnancy due to hormonal changes. I bleed after anything internal. When I have smear tests I bleed almost like a period for a few hours and then it dries up again; so I hope your bleeding stops. I hope it's still a sticky bean; the line progression is looking good. I'm not giving up hope for you yet!

@hayleyfx Lovely to hear from you again. I'm glad you had a nice time away. The ceremony sounds lovely. Fingers crossed for you testing again.

@hayleyfx Just seen your new post. Looks quite a strong line to still be left over HCG... Does it look darker than the test from 3 weeks ago. I reckon that looks like a new pregnancy. Do you have any symptoms of being pregnant again? Only way to tell really is to wait and test again in a couple of days and see if the line gets darker... So frustrating!

@hayleyfx nice to see you back. Frer is very sensitive only 6mol and not pregnant is 5 or less....so it’s highly possible a new pregnancy. You need to test with first morning urine for frer to work at its best though. If you could possibly wait to Monday morning... otherwise look forward to picks tomo...everything crossed Hun xx

Thank you @KnitKitty @hayleyfx and @clumsykitten the bleeding is getting worse. Passing some stringy bits and looking redder I cannot believe I'm having this again. All was fine until that scan. Should I have just not gone for it? Can a scan cause a mc? I feel like such an idiot for hoping this could be our rainbow and that wanting to be pregnant by the due date of our little bean in January might actually be possible. I secretly hoped with the dates making initial due date on 1 year anniversary of losing our little bean that this one would be a keeper, especially as we had cleared out baby's room to actually make it a proper bedroom last weekend. I hoped they were were all positive signs but no, looks like I'm in that statistic again ......

@hayleyfx glad you had a nice break away. The ceremony though sounds so sad I agree with KnitKitty that it looks strong to be left over HCG but I'm no expert. Guve it a few days and take another to see if line gets stronger. Hope it is a new pregnancy.

@indreamland sorry you’re going through this. Scans can’t cause mc even if internal. You’re not an idiot for getting your hopes up, it’s impossible not to when the lines appear. Try not to loose hope the stats are still in your favour. It’s hard I know xx

@InDreamland I'm so sorry hun. This truly sucks. No, internal scans cannot cause miscarriage. They do them routinely on women in early stages of pregnancy which they wouldn't do if that were a risk; it was just bad timing. I feel hopeful that you will fall pregnant again with a sticky bean. I expect you're feeling horrible and hopeless though, so let us do the hoping for you for now until you feel stronger again. Huge hugs xxx

Thanks ladies. When I woke up this morning I was bleeding heavily. No way can baby survive that, I'm going to have to call my GP tomorrow morning. Just feel numb. What is wrong with me? 5 years trying to get pregnant, then I manage to fall twice in 7 months but can't keep either of them.

@indreamland so very sorry - make sure you look after yourself. Feel assured that the scan didn't cause the miscarriage. x

@hayleyfx - tentative congratulations - got everything crossed for you

@boboelephant - lovely to see you back on here again

Much love to the rest of your out there especially the newbies. I am so far behind I can't catch up so have only read the last page or so.

I'm still trucking along - awaiting first period after 3 MC. Had a very good friend who had her own fertility struggles announce she was pregnant the other day. So very pleased for her as she has had a tough journey, however, her due date is right inbetween the two for my most recent miscarriages so has definitely required some deep breathing, and there have been a few tears. I'm still feeling quite liberated by not being able to try though until my results are through. Wedding planning and work are a massive distraction.
x

@hayleyfx that’s exciting! Really hope all is well this month. Keep us updated, we need good news.

@indreamland I’m so sorry sweetheart. Agree with the others, the ultrasound could not have caused a miscarriage. Good that you are calling the gp tomorrow. I do still think it’s a positive sign that you have conceived again, just so sad that this little one didn’t work out x

How is everyone doing? I’m confused by my chart this month (I wasn’t going to chart anymore but my cycles have been a bit all over the place and I need to see when I o). FF can’t decide if I’m 7dpo or 9dpo. My temped dipped today to what is usually the temp I get for when af arrives so I’m not too hopeful.

Hello ladies just checking in briefly as I haven't been on for a while. Thank you @Yukka for asking after me, I am still really struggling. On cycle 8 post 2nd MC and I don't think this cycle is going to be successful, so I am fully expecting to start cycle 9 post 2nd MC sometime this week. I can't believe we're only a couple of months away from my first MC and I'm still not pregnant. I really think something is wrong. We are going to the GP this week to ask for referral, although as another poster (sorry can't remember who it was) was saying I'm not sure if RMC or infertility would be best as I have had no viable pregnancy after 14 months of trying, two very early losses in the first 6 months, and nothing since.

@InDreamland so sorry to hear your news and praying that you are one of the ladies who bleed during pregnancy and that everything is OK

Sorry that should read a couple of months away from my first MC anniversary