TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

Hi,
Hope it's ok if I join? I had an early scan last week at 11.5 weeks after some spotting, scan showed just an empty sac. They diagnosed a MMC.
I had an MVA l two days later (last Wednesday) and bleeding has just about finished.
I have been doing a lot of research (mostly google!) about how soon my next AF is likely to start again and wondered if some of you would mind sharing what your experiences have been?

Crazy day yesterday. Had my scan yesterday, and there are 5 follicles on the right and 5 on the left! That never happened before! Not only that, but I have a dominant follicle on the left that is already 20mm! So they did a trigger right there and then! And that was cd10! The rest of the follicles are around 7-10mm which is normal for cd10. And scheduled IUI for today, cd11 and I'll be ovulating on cd12. Lining is around 7.5mm which is also normal size. So they put an Estramon patch on my tummy. These are for lining growth. My head is spinning. We were planning it all for Friday/Saturday! So had to call my DH at the appointment to tell him the news and change his flight for today! Thankfully IUI is at 6pm so he'll get here in time, and fly back home next day. Asked doctor why I had so many follicles in the first place. Only ever had 2 on either side. And why 1 is already 20mm on cd10! She told me it might be down to DHEA I started taking!? But I've only been taking it for 5 days! 75mg a day. Again this is all new to me and our bodies will never cease to amaze me! I had acupuncture straight after the scan to calm and distress. Curious to see what today brings when I go for IUI. More acupuncture booked for after IUI. My DD is here with me and my doc/nurses love seeing her growing. She was my true IUI baby miracle "conceived" at my clinic. I was 40 then. Let's just hope this time works. And if not, I've got IVF lined up which we discussed yesterday too.

@SJR86 sorry you find yourself here. I had a D&C at 11 weeks, baby measured 8weeks. I bled for nearly 2 weeks after and got +ve HPTs for about 2 weeks too. My next period came about 5/6 weeks after D&C. I had a bit of spotting a few days before it started.

Sounds super promising @Russkispy Hope today goes well.

@Mistymeow I didn't take another urine test after the last blood test showed the HCG had gone down to 13. But that was more than 20 days ago now.
Sorry to hear you're feeling disheartened. I totally understand. Dealing with irregular cycles just makes everything harder still. I'm pleased you've had a positive OPK though. Did the docs say your DH should be a bit more fertile from this month onward? Is he having more tests to check how things are progressing? Fingers crossed for you lovely. xx

@Lilimul5 Yes, you should definitely quality. I've just been referred and am waiting for an appointment to come through, will keep you posted about how everything goes.

@Newbie21 I'm so sorry. Hugs xxx (But silver lining that it wasn't ectopic... I'm pleased you won't need any complicated surgery)

I'm sad to see there's a few newbies here.
So sorry for your losses @Dimblebimble and @SJR86. SJR, my period took 5 weeks to appear after ERPC. I was told anything up to 8 weeks is normal.

@Dimblebimble You're not a wimp. A colleague of mine who has two children and then had a miscarriage said the pains felt exactly like labour pains which shocked her. A lot of people on here have said the same. They don't prepare you for how much pain it can be (although some women lose their pregnancy without any pain, it's different for everyone.) And remember, when you're giving birth to a healthy full-term baby, the joy of becoming a mum makes it all worth while, and the pain relief is a lot better.
Don't rush into trying again if you don't feel ready. Even if you have a plan for the future you feel you must stick to; giving yourself time to heal and grieve now will help in the long run. Be patient with yourself.

@InDreamland Thanks chicken, but I'm not feeling hopeful. I hope you have a good day today. Look for all the little things that make you smile. xx

@Russkispy My goodness your head must be spinning! All looks like good news so far. Keep up with the acupuncture! Good luck for today! Sending calming vibes and baby dust your way!

So I only had a very small amount of brown spotting yesterday and felt slightly crampy towards the end of the day again. Also burping a bit more than usual (a pregnancy sign for me... I don't know anyone else who has had this, but it seems to be my norm), and just feeling a bit more tired and hungry. Going to try and get through these next few days to the weekend and may test on Saturday if AF hasn't started yet. Not buying any tests before then though. Still kicking myself for allowing this to happen; I know how it's all going to end.

@SJR86 I'm so sorry you find yourself here. It's so sad that we seem to have so many newbies these past few days.

@Dimblebimble I agree with @KnitKitty, I was one of the ones who have 4 hours of 'labour' pains without a baby to hold at the end. It was the worst pain I've ever felt! Definitely take the time you need to heal from this.

@Russkispy that sounds so promising! Keeping fingers and toes crossed for you!

@KnitKitty thank you. AF tried to start last night, tiny bit of brown spotting as it normally starts but this morning nothing on pad or when I wiped but fully expecting to start on full flow today. I hope that for you it's all a good sign and you have a sticky one! Just have to try and distract yourself for a few days (easier said than done). I didn't get too much increased burping when I was pregnant but I got a serious amount of increased gas! Whoever said pregnancy makes you glow and feel all feminine lied! It was awful trying to discreetly pass wind like constantly!

@Dimblebimble you really are not a wimp. When my MMC was diagnosed I panicked about the bleeding starting and the pain and what I would see. I couldn't deal with any of that and opted for a d&c which I am very relieved about in hindsight. Everyone is different and all experiences different. I'll be honest labour is no walk in the park and after mine I vowed never again. 4 months later I started chatting to DH about baby no. 2 - it's totally different when the reward is looking up at you each day xx

@Newbie21 just wondering how your doing hun x

Rather confused today ......... so had that brown spotting lastnight which was AF arriving, or so I thought as due on today. This morning nothing on pad or when I wiped. It's 4:30pm and still nothing! Od this post mc AF cycle up the spout thing? 3 AFs since mc have been on time.

@TinyPaws sorry that you're feeling rubbish but hopefully it is a good sign of things to come. 🤞🤞 When is your EC?
@Panapan sorry for your loss and hope it's it's good news for you this cycle.
@InDreamland so sorry you're struggling. Sounds like you need a good holiday! As for Emma's diary, someone I know emailed them telling them off and how hurtful their constant emails are after unsubscribing and they were quick to rectify. Ooh just saw your update. Fingers crossed!!! Will you test?
@Lilimum5 sorry you needed to have the ERPC. So many ladies who used to be on here who have graduated had them and are happily pregnant so try not to worry. I was ok after mine, a bit sore and tired for 2 days but no bleeding. Just rest and be kind to yourself.
@KnitKitty thankyou. Yeah it's a big step and I'm not sure what to expect. I feel like we can't wait anymore though. It's now been more than 2 years that we've been trying so definitely feels like something needs to change! Let's hope its our happy ending! How are you feeling today? I have everything crossed this one works out for you!
@Mistymeow hi buddy! Nope don't mind you asking. We've had to go private as we are not eligible as have my DS. So it's an expensive option but at least the service is great- silver linings! Hope you get seen very soon 🤞
@Newbie21 sorry it sounds like another MC but so glad it's not ectopic.
@Dimblebimble welcome and sorry for your loss. Most women go on to have healthy pregnancies after MC so hopefully this will be the case for you. At 29 you still have plenty of time. Some journeys are hard and long and some quicker but we are all here for support.
@SJR86 sorry you find yourself here. I had an ERPC, no bleeding and AF about 5 weeks later.
@Russkispy how exciting!!! How'd today go??

Hi @boboelephant. Thank you, I will be on holiday soon, fly out on the 17th! Really need this break, worked out should be in fertile week when we're away. Thanks for letting me know, I think I will email as they obviously ignore requests to unsubscribe. It's horrible seeing those emails every week. I feel like I am going to come on so not testing yet, I could come on this evening still. The one and only time I have been pregnant I was already 12 days late by the time I tested as didn't want the usual disappointment. Think I'll just wait it out. I do have a FRER and a CB test early tests though so if AF does stay away I could test. Think body is just messing with my mind because I cleared out the spare/baby's bedroom. It's exciting you're planning IVF now, fingers crossed it works for you!

Hi @Lilimum5 I'm doing ok. I went back to work today. Find it easier to keep busy than to constantly google what if scenarios. I also went to see an OB (the one who performed by previous D&C) to ask his thoughts on next steps - benefits of doing any chromosome testing, whether there was anything else I can do in the future to improve chances, whether IVF should be a consideration at this stage etc. He basically said that I could get the chromosome tests and it would tell me the problem, if any with that embryo but he said it wouldn't change what I would need to do so it was up to me whether I felt like I needed to know. He also said that my problem was not getting pregnant so at this stage he didn't think iVF was the way to go. He said, as sad though it is, it really sounds like it is just one of those things. I am one of the unlucky ones - nothing I could do about it but he did say that I obviously seem to be getting pregnant quite easily which is a positive thing. I am older so egg quality may be a factor but I am ovulating regularly and have regular cycles (usually) so I have reasons to stay positive. It was a helpful discussion. I feel a bit more rational about things although it still really sucks and I am still waiting for the full extent of the grief to hit me.

I need to have a think about whether to have a d and c or to wait it out. I don't want it to be really painful. I know everyone's experience is different but does anyone know if where the gestational sac is empty that this means the loss will be less physically painful or whether there could still be big clots so doesn't make much difference? I am also worried about tissue remaining and getting an infection. My OB said to make sure I get a scan a week or two after I miscarry to ensure that it is all clear - does the NHS do that as a matter of course or do they just wait for a problem before checking?

@Newbie21 last time just had to do a pregnancy. Test at 3 weeks after mc starts. And let epu know if it was - ve or +ve. If positive I would be booked for a scan. Same this time I have to do one 21st November and let them know. I'm not sure if they do this with the wait and see approach. Maybe you could do that anyway for peace of mind.

IUI all done. The dominant follicle on the left grew up to 22x23mm! And on the right, 1 of them grew up to 17mm. That's a massive change from yesterday (right side). Lining was measured at 11.5. All looking good. dH's sample was very good too! Testing at 11/12dpiui.

@InDreamland fingers crossed for when you're testing!

@InDreamland fingers crossed for when you're testing!

Evening all there’s a few newbies here so not caught up but just want to say I’m
Sorry you’re here. It’s a great group for support when you need it. There are no stupid questions or crazy feelings- it’s basically shit and we can help each other get through it.

@dimblebimble and @newbie21 re mc pain. Mine at 10weeks was really quite painful, felt like what I would imagine labour to feel like that got progressively worse and would ease after passing something then build up again. I went to a@e in the end and after review was given oral morphine to take home. Ask your dr/consultant for this if you’re worried as a back up if you want to wait it out before deciding for surgery.

@russkispy your cycle outcomes sound perfect.... keeping everything crossed for you - we’ll be testing around the same time.

@indreamland my cycles were totally weird after mc, seemed normal at first then I skipped a month ov but now seem back to normal (hopefully now 6 months since mc). Fingers crossed it could be a snuggling bean.

@laney79 and @strawberrye how are you both doing ladies?

As for me..chased hospital and blood results are with registrar for “interpretation” honestly I reckon I could do that myself by now. We’ll see what this month brings.

Hi all. Sorry not been very good at keeping up.
@Lilimum5 and @Newbie21 so sorry to hear what you've been going through. Hugs.

Nice to hear from you @Boboelephant and @TinyPaws

Sorry to not respond individually-penguin hugs and baby dust to all.

I'm starting to worry a bit. Still waiting for first AF since losing bow. Can you guys see what you think of this? Stopped bleeding 6th Oct, negative test 14th Oct. had brown Cm/discharge (including a tiny bit of stringy clotty brown stuff like the end of a period, but very small amount) only really on wiping from 22 Oct till 28 oct. Can't imagine that it was my aF as there was so little come away. But still no sign of period, and no positive ovulation test at all. Cm is mostly watery and has been the past few days. We dtd Saturday. But the past couple of days my tum hasn't felt right. I feel heavy and a bit uncomfortable and bloated. Not pain as such just not right.

I'm starting to get worried about the not feeling right in the tum and the lack of positive ov/AF. Anyone else experienced this? I miscarried Bow naturally and a scan confirmed empty uterus 3rd October.

Should I be worried? Anyone experienced anything similar? Xxx

Hi @Yukka -frustrating about your results. I do wish they'd be more open, give us lists of what tests they are doing and what the results are. Surely with today's tech you should be able to have an app, fingerprint access only with your medical record/tests listed on. I appreciate you may need a doctor to interpret properly but these tests are about you-surely you should have access to them! Sorry-rant over xx

@laney79 thanks for ranting I hear you and agree! So snnoying.

It could be that you missed ov ( when did you test as I missed my first one after mc) and are building up for af, or, if you didn’t ov the oestrogen will continue to rise until eventually it collapses which will cause a period of sorts... usually lighter /thinner /less clotty bleed than normal af. So in theory either way you will have a bleed in a matter of time and hormones reset.

Or, you haven’t ovd just yet, which if we classed your last funny discharge as a bleed that could be right and you are due to ov soon.

Sorry.....lots of scenarios. But if you don’t feel right or feel unwell, call the gp in case xx

Thanks @Yukka

Started opks the day after my negative preg test (they were showing positive with the hcg when I tried before I got bfn) - I did miss a couple of days during the brown discharge week, but after losing bean earlier in the year my LH surges lasted a good 12-24 hours and tests got darker for a day before/stayed darker fir a day after so pretty confident I haven't ovulated. I was hoping the discharge week might've been my body trying to have a period, but if so Idve expected ov last fri/sat (usually get positive opk around cd13).

I've not got a temp or any smelly discharge but still feel worried. I just want to feel normal as I can again so we can try again. I just have this overwhelming need to be pregnant again x

@laney79 Completley understand. It’s really hard. I’m sure you are probably fine and it’s just taking time. Perhaps see what happens this week and if you’re still worried call the gp. It does sound a bit like you’re gearing up for a bleed.

With my early mcs I knew body would get back to normal quite quickly but with the later one it really did screw things up 😕 hate being at the mercy of something we can’t control xx

@Newbie21 good to hear you have managed to get back to work and feeling more rational about things. I hope that you still have lots of love and support around you. It's such a shit time.

@Russkispy wow that all sounds so promising! This is your month, it's got to work when it all sounds so positive. Is there a chance of twins? Thanks I'm not testing just yet, going to wait a few more days.

*@Yukka thank you, I am trying to remain realistic. This post mc cycles confusion is such a head f*k. Hope you get answers for your tests very very soon, how annoying you have to wait when you know they have the results.

@Laney79 sorry you're still waiting for first full AF. There's so many possible scenarios as @Yukka said that I agree and would say of you're still worried next week then go to your GP. I hope AF turns up for you and you can start TTC again.

As for me this morning ........AF still not turned up. Nothing since the brown spotting on Monday night. Only 1 day late though so I will not test yet. Can't handle the disappointment. I don't feel pregnant at all. I'm only CD29 and 13dpo.

@InDreamland thank you! With both of my tww I haven't had one symptom! So hang in there and test when you feel is right!
Asked doctor about DHEA intake during tww. She said pregnant women don't take DHEA! Well, let's just hope I am this cycle!
If BFN, will restart DHEA
Away for acupuncture 😉 have a good everyone!

Thanks @InDreamland - I'm not very patient and I feel really unsettled. Even if I don't get af if I could get a positive opk at least I'd know things are working. At my age (39) my fear is the 2nd MMC will kickstart early menopause. I'm a bit of a control freak and I really struggle being so helpless. I've been taking pregnacare pre conception, high dose folic acid and 300mg co enzyme q10 since I got the bfn. Got three weeks till my consultant appt and my blood test results.

In terms of you, I don't want to get your hopes up but when I fell with bow I had brown discharge around 9/10dpo was certain it was AF gearing up...got my BFP 15dpo. So I'll keep everything crossed for you xxx

@InDreamland It's possible it was implantation. It can take a few days after that for symptoms to start and for HCG to rise high enough to be detected. I have my fingers crossed for you!!!

@Laney79 I was wondering how you are. It sounds to me like you possibly might be having an anovulatory cycle. I had one in August (I think). I felt really bloated and 'not right' the second half of the cycle and kept getting weird spotting and CM and my cycle was much longer than normal. I felt such relief when AF finally showed up, and next cycle was back to normal. It is normal not to ovulate every so often. Remind yourself that's just your anxiety making you worry about menopause and there's no actual reason to believe this. xxx

@Yukka It's so frustrating having to wait for test results. I hope they don't make you wait for much longer.

@Boboelephant Yes, two years is plenty long enough! I'm feeling really hopeful for you for the IVF.
It's coming up to a year since we started trying now, so feeling a bit despondent. I've stopped feeling pregnant. Still getting brown spotting. I'm just expecting AF to start any time now. CD28 at the moment, been spotting for 6 days so far. I had a tiny glimmer of hope brewing, thinking as I got pregnant by accident this time (assuming I am/was, but I know myself and I'm 98% sure) maybe it was just a determined little bean and it would all work out this time against the odds; but all hope has gone out of the window with lack of symptoms. I think something implanted and then just gave up; like the others. Trying to brush it off and just look towards the RMC referral and wait for next year, and hoping it's a better year than this one. I'm bridesmaids dress shopping with my sister and her other bridesmaid at the weekend and have 9 days off after Friday. OH and I are going to go on a little last-minute jaunt somewhere; and there's Christmas and my family's birthday season to plan for, so lots to be distracted by. You just have to keep plodding on, don't you?