TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

So I'm totally behind again! It was the Wace of Light for Baby Loss Awareness week tonight. I lit a candle and had a little cry. I also got my blood test results back and a chat with the GP. Everything was pretty much normal. Thyroid on the lower side but happily not a flag. I did however have an estrogen dominance: My GP said this wasn't something they would look in to further and my level wasn't high enough to cause concern although it was way above the parameters on the results sheet. Anyone have any insight in to elevated estrogen? Tempted to try a medicheck to test progesterone as I think this can be related but was not tested.

@Laney79 your dog is so cute ❤️ Sorry that you're having these sad reminders. Hope work went well and kept your mind busy.

@Russkispy good luck, that's really excitin!

@TinyPaws sounds like you're getting your body in to good shape for the ivf! I hear you on dialling back to reduce stress although for me that seems to involve stepping back a few days and then stresssing about catching up with everyone!!

@KnitKitty I'm so sorry you're feeling so low. You should defo stay in touch with GP. They sound like a good bunch, I hope they have your back.

Thank you ladies! Everything crossed here and let you know the outcome!

Hi everyone!

Some stats:
Age 22
TTC #1
Cycle 3
Miscarried at 7 weeks pregnant, conceived during cycle 2. That was 13 days ago. I usually have fairly irregular periods, they have varied in the past between 30 and 55 days
I’ve been taking OPKs again ready to try again, and I got this one today. Both lines seem really faint to me, but approximately equal. Is this a positive?

Lit a candle tonight and had a big cry 😢 thought of all the babies loved and lost on this forum. Thinking of you all tonight. Big hugs xx

Also lit a candle and had a cry. Still feeling shitty after reading a train wreck of an AIBU thread yesterday. Like I shouldn't still feel sad about losing our baby.

Hi ladies

Sorry not been on for a few days, AF was making me really miserable so just needed time out.

I've contacted the private clinic yesterday, didn't have time last week or over the weekend and so waiting for them to call back. Lit a candle lastnight and had a massive cry. It was 13 weeks yesterday since I lost my little bean. Feeling really down about it and still can't stand any pregnancy or birth announcements and can't bare to look at pregnant women - awful when I travel on the tube and I feel like I'm surrounded by them. I was out last weekend and I literally had 6 prams being pushed towards me and they didn't even move for me, I had to step aside for them and I almost broke down in public. Will start OPKing tomorrow again. Have to admit that the announcement yesterday by a certain royal couple hit me hard, I just think it was very poor timing with what yesterday was supposed to mark internationally.

@RedRobin7 I'm so sorry you have to take a step back but at the same time it's the right thing for your DH and his health. Hopefully you will both have a lovely big holiday and he will soon feel ready to try again. We'll miss you here!

@boboelephant hope you're having a great and restful holiday and it helps with creating a sticky bean!

@Russkispy fx for you!!!!!

@KnitKitty sending you hugs! Sorry you're feeling low x

Big congratulations to all the BFPs I've missed over the past few days!

Thanks @Lilimum4 these threads move so fast!!

everyone well I have been off here for a while - was trying to de stress about while situation but now can I ask for advice as really confused! My second postpartum period was due 17 September and this day I started spotting ( had a +hpt but string negatives after so presume I was 1% chance of false positive!) anyway spotting continued not enough for a pad except for an hour one day until cd 14 2 October which then became heavier started having clots etc but was light still some in bowl when wee , so I thought as fed up of bleeding would take soy ISO for 4 days so did after I was heavier , bleeding stopped 8 October. I don't know when to say cycle day started was it from spotting it when I was heavier? Also I am now if you count heavier bleed as cd 1 cd 15 I am so hungry all the time feel sick and certain smells make me feel more sick! I am really confused and don't know when af will be expected! Please does anyone have advice ? Sorry to ask and hope makes some sense! Xx

It was lovely to see all the candles on my facebook feed. I didn't post myself as I'd already posted my story with my birthday fundraiser. I hope you're all feeling ok today x

@MeghanV07 Yes it sounds like signs of ovulation to me, I get this every month (I didn't before my miscarriage) and also feel every twinge. There could be a chance of pregnancy from the previous cycle if you only had one day of bleeding (have you taken a test?). I think you're gearing up to ovulate, that's my guess.

@Angelbabyollie gosh, I can see why you are confused. You spotted for 14 days and then it became heavier and stopped 8 days ago? I'm not entirely sure I'm afraid- could you call your surgery and see if they can advise and put your mind at rest? I hope you have some answers soon, very frustrating.

I'm 12 dpo and really want to test but I know it will be bfn...also I don't have any pregnancy tests! It's driving me up the wall. Curse hormones!

Hi ladies, thank you again for all your support and lovely comments 💕
I’ve not had any bleeding or even spotting now for 3 days. I’m still testing positive. The tests don’t seem to be getting much fainter, maybe a tiny bit. Making a doctors appointment in the morning and will take it from there. Very confused and not hopeful at all, starting to wonder if I have retained products... will keep you all updated x

Will catch up on thread properly soon, sorry I’ve not had a chance to do so yet!! Just been very hectic and stressed 🙄 hope everyone is okay 💕

@hayleyfx How are you doing chicken?

@sweetpea0318 someone posted this Disney quote on another thread, and I thought it'd be nice for you... "Even miracles take a little time". I'm sure your BFP will come soon. xxx

@awakeatnight I'm so sorry your friend was insensitive. It sounds like she didn't mean it to hurt you but people do say the wrong thing sometimes, don't they! It's exasperating. Hugs

@Boboelephant Hope you're having a lovely time down under! I'm glad that elusive egg finally popped out! Maybe your body has been homesick and your holiday will get you back on track.

@keebo I'm so sorry about the frustrating you're going through with the referral. It really seems unfair. Can you push for it to go through? I hope everything sorts out soon.

@Newbie21 Congratulations hun. Really hope this one is sticky. xxx

@Littleray84 Congratulations to you too! xx

@Laney79 I saw Muse at V-fest when I was 15! And also in an arena although it's been so long I don't even remember where it was now. It was brilliant though. What a beautiful dog.

@Russkispy Best of luck to you!! Fingers crossed.

@TinyPaws Sounds like you're doing everything you can at the moment. Best of luck with the IVF. I hope the time doesn't drag too much.

@Coffiest Hope this is your lucky cycle starting. Let your hair down a bit and enjoy AF time while you still can.

@MeghanV07 It could be ovulation symptoms? CD12 doesn't seem far along enough to be getting pregnancy symptoms, unless you meant 12DPO?

@TheEigthMrsSK Sorry for your loss. Not sure with that OPK? almost positive?

@InDreamland Sending you hugs back xxx

@Angelbabyollie Nice to see you again. Sorry you're body is being so confusing. My only advice is just to DTD regularly this cycle and just see when AF turns up (if she does). You're probably still a bit all over the place postpartum. xxx

@Mistymeow Would it help you to see a BFN rather than wait for AF? Maybe buy some tomorrow? Hugs xxx

I got my results back from Friday's blood test yesterday and the HCG was only at 48. With that and the heavy bleeding I'm sure it's over, but I keep having moments of denial about it. I've been crying A LOT. Much more than I did even with my first loss. I think everything has just accumulated. I had another blood test today and am seeing my GP again in a week to talk about the referral.

I saw an acupuncture practitioner today for a free consultation and have decided I'll give it a bash.
She was lovely and specialises in fertility acupuncture.
She encouraged me to get the referral as she said she's hopeful she can help me, but would like to be certain what we're dealing with. As I've had surgeries and endometriosis in the past she said things like adhesions or scarring could be affecting implantation so said I'll probably need scans and stuff.
She also said she doesn't want to offer advice on whether to continue trying before the referral or not, but said that in Chinese medicine any length of pregnancy is seen as the same significance in terms of the recovery afterwards and my body has obviously been through a lot this year; emotionally as well. i.e. sounds like she thinks I should maybe give it a break for a bit. But she said she's going to treat me as though I'm continuing trying regardless so I'm in optimum health for it whenever it happens again.
She also mentioned progesterone levels and we talked about stress being a factor in hormones not being balanced (as I was talking to her about having been very stressed at work these last few months and worrying that it's affecting my ability to stay pregnant). She was keen for me not to put any blame on myself and said that there's no evidence that stress causes miscarriage, but said that we want to reduce stress anyway and balance the hormones etc as best we can to be as healthy as possible.
I actually can't wait to start. My first appointment is a week on Friday. I'll have 1 hour a week for 4 weeks after that (possibly starting in my 3rd week of my cycle to boost progesterone) and then once a month. She said if I get pregnant she'd like to see me once a week again and possibly twice a week, depending, but if it's twice a week she'd only charge as though it was one session.
I was very impressed and feel like it's a way forward for now. Any control in situations like this is something to hold on to.

I just have to think about whether to take a break from TTC for now. It seems like the sensible thing to do... But so frustrating and heart-breaking in its own way at the same time.

Evening all mind if I join you?
I'm 23 ttc#1, cycle 10 day 3, mc at 7 weeks in cycle 7

Head all over the place this week, AF showed up early and has been pretty light and seems to be done at day 3 when usually 5-7 days!

@Mistymeow thanks it's so confusing took the soy ISO to try and balance things and stop bleeding which I guess it did but have no idea where I am! Have been quite stressed too which hasn't helped but finally 6 months on had Ollie coroner report. Even thou the hospital made mistakes he wouldn't have survived and would have needed lung transplant which having trisomy 21 chances would have been slim as well as being newborn. It's all so unfair he fought so hard, but we have some peace from the limbo we have been stuck in. Fingers crossed and toes for when u test I really hope this is your 🌈 xxxx @KnitKitty thanks we are dtd as much as can but hard when life is a struggle still at times ! sounds positive way forward let us know how things go xx

@Boboelephant how are you doing? Hope your having fantastic holiday xx

@knitkitty I think it’s amazing how you go through everyone with a reply. I have completed the acupuncture and herbs this time round. I find it so peaceful and has really helped with a few things.

@haleyfx I really hope you get some answers. Limbo is such a horrible place to be. You are in my thoughts.

@angelbabyollie glad you have received the report. I hope it brings you some sort of peace. You are such a brave women.

Love to everyone else.

I’m currently working myself up into a frenzy. Convinced myself it’s all gone wrong again. I have very high levels of anxiety about everything. I was hoping my bfp would bring me some peace but worse than ever!

@KnitKitty your acupuncturist sounds amazing! Sorry you are going through such a tough time. I hope the acupuncture really helps.

Not got enough time this morning to.gp through the past few pages but wanted to say

@KnitKitty I'm so sorry hun. Don't feel you have to stay away because you're feeling really low and negative, we are all here for you.

@hayleyfx sorry things are so confusing for you. Sounds like such a head! Glad you are going to the GP to find out what's going on

Tmi sorry in advance cervix high soft closed, milky cm ? Is it hopeful but don't know where I am in cycle!! Am light headed, emotional but probably as people keep asking about Ollie today 😞 I think I am just hoping to much for my rainbow 🌈😞xxx

@Angelbabyollie they could be hopeful signs but I guess you don't know until you take a test? Also I seem to get high soft cervix and creamy discharge around 10-13dpo but then always AF arrives and not got a BFP in months. Keeping my fingers crossed its a good sign for you.

Well dr appointment has been made, for next Thursday. They were very confused when I phoned and explained my situation and said that they’ve never had this happen before... but said they’ll run checks on me next week and then take it from there. Who knows what’s going on with my body!! 🤦‍♀️ I tested again with a frer - still positive. Even more strange - I’m getting much stronger positives at night than in the morn? Weird. Still feeling exhausted and a bit sick.
Would it be worth phoning the EPU in the meantime for a bit of advice or will that be pointless? I just feel stuck in limbo and getting worried about what’s happening with my body & retained products. It’s never easy is it 🙄

@KnitKitty thanks for asking hun. So sorry you’re going through this again, it really is unfair. I feel the same that perhaps I need a break after all this. It’s so stressful. Do what’s right for you and either way, we’ll be here for you. Also your acupuncturist sounds great! X

@Melpops36 I totally understand, I felt like that the whole time being pregnant with Charlie. It’s natural. Just keep telling yourself that today you’re pregnant and that’s amazing! The chances are that your little bean is growing and is perfectly healthy!! Wishing you so much luck.

Welcome to newbies. Sorry you find yourselves here but this is a great bunch of ladies!

I also found it lovely to see how many people were lighting candles the other day. So many babies loved so dearly and will be remembered forever 💕

Last night before bed was feeling sick. As in I wanted to throw up. Slept badly, was feeling sick and when got up had a diarrhea! All morning! And still feeling sick! Coming and going. But not vomiting. It wasn't anything out of ordinary for dinner last night. Pasta and green vegetables. I'm 7 days past IUI/ovulation. Don't even know what to think of it? What do you make of it?!

And smelling food makes me feel sick!

@Russkispy sounds positive when u going to test? Am excited for u! Xx

@Angelbabyollie , really?! So early in 2ww?! I'm 42 and still feeling clueless about these things despite me having a DD of 16 months.
With her , I didn't have any symptoms! And was genuinely surprised when after doing blood test, it came positive! I was so naive back then! Makes me smile actually
My clinic told me to do blood test on Tuesday and Thursday, providing Tuesday shows positive.

Sorry for not responding to messages in a timely way, it's so hard to keep up. @knitkitty I'm sorry. It's heartbreaking. Acupuncturist sounds great. I was sceptical before my first appointment as acupuncture hasn't helped ailments for me in the past but I can feel changes whilst in each session and afterwards. I do think it has a huge impact and is a great way to nurture yourself with an hour of 'me time'.
@hayleyfx how confusing. I hope the docs are able to shed some light on what's going on.
@rachel321 welcome to a lovely, supportive thread. I'm sorry you're in this place but we all do our best to help each other here.
@InDreamLand what did the private clinic say? I'm calling a private gynea today. Finally the nhs referral arrived. My appointment is late Nov- I spoke to the gp in aug! Discussed it with dh last night and we agreed it's just too long to wait to get things started again. Especially as it then seems they'll be 6 weeks to wait for tests results. Maybe I'm just being inpatient but I don't think my mental health with survive it. This week's been really tough - mc1 due date would have been sometime now plus all the candles I found hard, more pregnancy announcements every day... It's all been a bit too much. Heading to some sunshine for a long weekend next week. I'm hoping some vit d and a holiday without a mc (last 2 were mid-mc and then mc started on holiday) will help me relax. @boboelephant I hope oz has been amazing!

@keebo sorry you're finding things hard, but I'm glad you've come to a decision about your referral. Where are you off to on holiday? I'm feeling really down at the moment too, coming to the end of this cycle and temp is dropping so no BFP again this month. Really feeling like this is never going to happen. I'm only 27 with no children and it all just seems so unfair.