TTC after pregnancy loss - thread 26 - BFPs are coming!

[RedRobin7]

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Another new thread! This is a lovely supportive thread for anyone who has suffered the loss of a much wanted baby. Affectionately known as the penguin huddle - this is the place to survive the ups and downs of this crazy journey.

Kicking off with a roll call:

RedRobin7
Age 30
TTC #1
MMC at 12 weeks in March 18
NMC at 7 weeks in July 18

Currently under a private gynaecologist and waiting for tests results. Hoping to join the TTC bus again in October.

Hello lovely ladies!! Sorry for my radio silence. I'm in Australia on hols and have been trying to catch up for a few days but jetlag keeps getting in the way! So now I'm about 7 pages behind and can't catch up but I didn't want to leave it any longer.
Thanks to those who asked after me. I think I ovulated on day 22 finally. I got a positive opk and temp rise the next day so very quick in the end. I then had a dip but then left for holiday so haven't been able to confirm it. So possibly about 7dpo, possibly not. I've decided to just relax now this month and see what happens.

@KnitKitty and @hayleyfx I'm so sorry for the bleeding and stress. I have everything crossed for you both and that your babies are just settling in and you both get your happy endings. You both so deserve it!
@Blondcat and @Dulwichdays congratulations to both of you!! Wonderful news old timers!! 😁😁😁
@Laney79 beautiful necklace and woo for Greece! Glad you are getting some tests done.
@RedRobin7 sorry you have to take some time off but hopefully it brings you both renewed energy for ttc and your relationship and DH's MH. Hugs!
@awakeatnight oh that is insensitive. I'm sorry that you had to experience that.
Well done to everyone who bravely shared their stories for awareness and hugs to anyone who needs one. I'll try and be better at keeping up!!

@boboelephant I hope you're having a wonderful holiday and find some relaxation.
@awakeatnight that sounds insensitive of your friend but try not to take it personally- it sounds like see is trying to connect with you, but going the wrong way about it. So many people struggle with the concept of mc. As with any bereavement people don't really know what to say or do and often get it completely wrong.
I'm hugely irritated today. I was referred nearly 8 weeks ago by my gp because mc1 was after 10 wks (NICE guidelines say 3 mc or 1 after 10 wks) and I've called every 10 days to see what is going on. I love the bus and, having worked for them, I have an idea of the difficulties within but after 8 weeks with several communication screw ups between my gp surgery and the referral unit it turns out my go surgery has cancelled the referral altogether! Why?? It's so frustrating! It seems to all be down to staff shortages but I hate it. I'm the only one affected by it and the only one not able to actually do anything. Typically the people I need to speak to are part-time and never there when I ring. DH says we should just pay and go private for some tests but that needs another go referral and I'm now at the stage where I don't trust the surgery to do anything. The gps are all great and really supportive but the admin is just horrendous. Sorry to rant - I'm just so fed up of waiting!

I got my BFP this morning - CB digital - 2-3 weeks. I estimate about 19-20 days since ovulation (based on when I got my flashing smiley) so this seems to be about right. I'm already worrying that the hormone levels aren't multiplying like they should but I need to put that out my mind as I have no control over it. As one of the lovely ladies said on this group one time, "today I am pregnant" and I am happy.

Thank you for all your support over the last number of months. I plan to stick around for a while as it's super early days and I'm excited and terrified at the same time.

Morning ladies, like boboelephant I feel I have left it too long to catch up properly.

@Newbie21 @dulwichdays @Blondcat yaaay congratulations it's so nice to see some of the familiar faces on here whose journey has been a bit longer finally get their BFP! Wishing you the healthiest pregnancy and bubba's ever

@hayleyfx and @KnitKitty sorry to hear about the dreadful uncertainty you are both going through. I'm keeping everything crossed for you both that you have healthy pregnancies in there which are just causing stress because of bleeding. Please keep us updated if you feel able

@redrobin7 that sounds like a really tough decision to have to come to when you are so desperate to have a baby. I hope that good karma comes back at you when you start trying again with a quick and sticky BFP

@keebo that sounds super frustrating I'm sorry the NHS admin has screwed things up for you. Sending hugs

@awakeatnight that does sound pretty insensitive but she probably didn't mean to hurt you. Do you feel able to sit her down and be honest with her about how that made you feel?

@boboelephant hope you're having a wonderful holiday in Australia and that all the sunshine and rest is helping a little fertilised eggie nestle in safely

Seems like there has been a flurry of BFPs recently which is nice to see, especially when they are from some of the old timers here. Gives me hope that I might not be on here forever! It would be really nice not to be a TTC member of this group for an entire year! I'm 6DPO and hoping to keep a lid on the crazy for as long as possible.

Hi ladies congrats @dulwichdays @newbie21 and @blondcat that’s lovely news hoping for sticky beans for you. Keep us updated won’t you xx

@keebo I think I most private clinics will do the referral for you for about £25 is nhs gp can’t.

@knitkitty and @hayleyfx sorry to read about the bleeds and possible cp’s. Be good for you to get referred for tests even if to rule anything out. See what the next few days brings.

@awakeatnight and @laney79 and those that posted on social media.... I was thinking about my experience in discussing with people and I thought I hadn’t experienced anything bad but actually, I told one friend on holiday in July and she’s never mentioned it to me at all, never asked how I am doing. A friend I spoke to on Tuesday said I haven’t spoken about the last mc all summer, and I thought, cos no-ones asked? Except in here and one of my sisters (who is due the same day my last was due in December, bless her). Another friend (male) said that seeing as when my dh and I got together (12 yr ago in our 20’s) we didn’t plan marriage or kids it would probably just be a bonus to have a baby now anyway. I guess people just don’t know what to say, they want to empathise and reassure but don’t know how. It’s a bit shit all round.

@bobo have a fabulous holiday!

@strawberrye I’m with you, 9dpo today but have had weird cycles so trying to not symptom spot. Fingers crossed for you Hun. Had acupuncture on Monday and she focused on implantation and started Aspirin then too on consultants guidance pending blood results for hughes.

@boboelephant and @strawberrye thank you and I am sure you ladies will get your bfp's soon I will be sticking around to see that.

@newbie21 congratulations and fx for a sticky bean too xx

Thank you ladies xx

Morning ladies

I've not commented much recently but still here lurking. Contrasts to those with their bfp's fingers crossed for lots of sticky beans.

Sorry too hear some of you are having an uncertain or tough time.

I got a bfp this morning on a clear blue digital too 1-2 weeks , had one AF since my mmc 4 weeks 3 days ago but really not sure when I ovulated think it may have been 12 or 13 days ago going off ewcm and ovulation pain.

Let's hope there are more bfp's coming xx

Thanks girls. My bleeding has stopped now just the odd brown spotting but I’m still getting positive pregnancy tests. Tried to phone EPU today but couldn’t get through so guess I just have to wait till Monday to phone the doctor. Trying not to think about it as I know there’s nothing I can do right now but I just want to know what’s going on. Never been so confused!! 😔

@KnitKitty how are you doing hun? Still got everything crossed for you 🤞

@Boboelephant thank you! Hope you’re having a lovely holiday and 🤞 for you this month!!

@strawberrye thank you, trying to stay hopeful. I hope you get your BFP this month. I know what you mean, as much as I love this group I feel like I’ve been here for ages haha!! Lovely to see lots of bfp’s this month

And finally massive congrats to everyone who has got their BFP recently! I hope that each and every one of you have a very sticky bean. Fingers crossed. 🤞

Oh @hayleyfx - I feel for you. Not knowing what's going on is the worst for me. I'm a bit of a control freak. I really hope all is ok and they can help you on Monday

@Boboelephant wow! Oz! I loved my trip out there. Did Melbourne, drive to Sydney via Canberra and then Brisbane and barrier reef. Was a great place. Hope you are having an amazing time. Yeah the holiday win is fab-but I'm trying not to get too excited in case we do catch again and I have to give it up. May have been looking at some v posh hotels though to see how far my £3000 prize will take me!

@Littleray84 @dulwichdays @Newbie21 congrats and fingers for an uneventful and healthy pregnancy from here on in for you guys

@KnitKitty we've seen muse three times too-all big stadium gigs mind (Prague, O2 in London, and ricoh in Coventry) so Royal Albert will be interesting! how are you doing now? Do you have more bloods next week?

@RedRobin7 huge hugs-it's so hard for the fellas too. My man had a meltdown this week-tiny thing, sorting a diy problem that he struggled with, and then all of a sudden he was in floods. Guess he'd been storing that up for the past couple of weeks. Take care.

@keebo I'd be annoyed too-it's just adding to your suffering to mess like that, even if it's unintentional. Can you speak to the practice manager about it? Or is there a patients group you could raise the admin issues with?

@Yukka fingers crossed the acupuncture helps. Is it just aspirin the dr has you on? I'm waiting to hear back from my consultant about the 75mg version. Have said that unless there's evidence to say it'll cause harm I want to try it from any future BFP.

Apologies to those I've missed. Xxx

Thanks @hayleyfx @Yukka and @Blondcat.

Urgh I am so frustrated with myself. Does anyone feel like the TWW is a complete rollercoaster? One minute I'll be feeling fine, quite optimistic and then the next I have that horrible visceral feeling it'll never happen.

@strawberrye rollercoaster is a great way of describing the feeling.

One minute so positive and focussed that it will happen-seconds later the doubts and overwhelming fear it won't, and now you know just how much you want it...it's frankly a headf**k! Then the symptom spotting starts driving you crazy...it's so very hard.

I'm now questioning everything. My fella is confident we'll get a BFP by Christmas. Despite falling twice this year I'm worrying myself stupid that I'll develop secondary infertility, and that's before I even get to the freaking out about not being able to get past 6 weeks and facing another MC if we are lucky enough to get a third BFP.

Oh for the simplicity, the naivety of just not having to "try" - just getting those lovely lines on a pee stick. And being able to go to scans and appointments thinking everything will be fine, without the primal fear that it wasn't fine last time, and what makes this any different.

Do you know what we need distraction. Here's a pic of my dog to make you smile.

@hayleyfx thinking if you and keeping everything crossed.

@laney79 it’s 75mg aspirin for now (since blood was taken last week) pending next results in about a week. This was incase I conceive this cycle whilst waiting and can help implantation if I do have the condition.. If they are negative he said to take aspirin anyway as there is some evidence to support it helps in older mums. If tests are positive then when next pregnant I’ll stay on the aspirin and have heparin injections everyday until about 34 weeks.

@Littleray84 @dulwichdays @Newbie21 , massive congratulations to your BFP! Everything crossed for you! It gives all hope!
Sorry to hear about AFs and BFNs, frustrating beyond imagination.
And sorry whoever is struggling and frustrated with everything else!
As for me, IUI done on Friday. Responded well to Clomid and didnt need additional injections for boosting the follicles. had 4 mature follicles, 2 on each side (never had it this way with IUI), and the dominant on the day, was on the left at 20mm. Had my acupuncture straight after procedure and then was on a drip. Now taking progesterone pills and other good stuff including some pills to help implantation. Have to do HCG blood test on 23 and 25 of this month.
Time will tell.

@russkispy best of luck!! Hope this one catches for you and hope you’re feeling ok xx

@Laney79 thank you for the pictures of your dog, so cute! And I felt I could have written your post. We have decided if no BFP by January we'll go to GP then - that will be almost 1 year post first pregnancy, 10 months since second loss and over 15 months of trying. It just seems so far away. Think I'm maybe feeling a bit fragile today as a friend is having her baby shower, I decided not to go because I think it'd be really hard being so close to my original due date. Feeling really jealous of her but also really guilty about how I feel

@Yukka its interesting that they have you on aspirin already. My GP has done some clotting tests and I think one for Hughes' syndrome has come back borderline positive, so I'm waiting to have the second test in around a month. No advice given though on aspirin. Do you know what your levels were?

@Russkispy sending you lots of luck following the IUI

@strawberrye and @Yukka , thank you!
My everything is crossed! And if Negative, will go for another IUI and eventually IVF. Let's see what happens this time!

Hi everyone. I'm reading most days but not posting much as trying to dial back on the obsessive and reduce stress but just wanted to pop my head in and say congrats on the BFPs, welcome to the newbies.

@knitkitty @hayleyfx I am keeping everything crossed for both of you.

@Laney79 Your dog is gorgeous! I've always wanted a hound. Is he/she a rescue?

@Russkispy Good luck with the IUI!

Sorry to everyone else I haven't mentioned - you are a fantastic bunch of ladies.

I am starting long protocol IVF in 13 days. Trying to eat well, cut out alcohol and caffeine, de-stress and taking so many supplements I might just start rattling.

@strawberrye I don’t know the exact level other than a ‘low positive’, but will ask at next results. I think under 15mol is ‘normal’ 15-40 is low- moderate and over 40 is high. But was told not to start the aspirin until after both tests but it would help with making the uterus lining more habitual in Hughes patients for implantation by acting as a blood thinner. But on its own won’t prevent clotting if you get positive 2nd tests and pregnancy in general increases risks of clots so any positive diagnosis will be treated with heparin too.

Perhaps ask your consultant, mine said it won’t do any harm and there is evidence to support it helps anyway but not enough to know why it helps in those with no firm diagnosis.

@TinyPaws he's a rescue yes-his name is Lenny and he's six. Had him since he was two. He was found as a stray in Ireland and bought to our local rehoming centre by the dogs trust. He has his issues but he's a big loveable beast really.

Just seen the news about Harry and Meghan. Pleased for them but also feel so sad too, would've been due around the same time. I had it planned on my head that we'd be telling family about Bow yesterday and work today as I would've had my 12 week scan last Thursday. Instead it's my first day back in the office after losing her, and my first day doing opks as I got my bfn yesterday.

Sorry I haven't replied to any of your lovely, kind messages over the last few days. Thank you ladies

I've been bleeding quite a lot and took another test this morning and the line is a lot fainter. Going to ring GP today to see if it's worth doing another blood test or not and if he needs to see me again before sending the referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic.

I'm just feeling exhausted and broken at the moment.
4 pregnancy losses in 8 cycles has taken its toll and I'm just feeling very alone with it.

I don't feel like I have anything positive to contribute at the moment so may remain quiet on here for a while until I build my strength back up.

Thank you again.

Congrats on the recent flurry of BFPs. Really hope you all have happy and healthy pregnancies.

@boboelephant hope you're having a lovely time. I was in Australia in November last year. Could go for one of those delicious Melbourne coffees right now!

@laney79 what a lovely woofer. I'm sorry for all these reminders, it will take time but I'm glad you got your negative pregnancy test as I know you're keen to try again. Hugs.

@tinypaws good luck for the IVF. I'm still waiting for our referral appointment, hope they accept us. Good luck to you too @russkispy

@hayleyfx I'm really hoping the bleeding was implantation. I've heard that some women can have bleeding around the time their period is due. I hope you get some answers soon.

@knitkitty I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You are such a lovely, supportive person and extremely strong. I think you are doing the right thing giving yourself time to recover, and I'm glad the doctor is keeping a close eye on you. Do reach out to one of the miscarriage charities if you need someone to talk to, it is such a lonely time. I really feel for you. Sending you all my love and please get back in touch when you're ready x

@keebo that's very frustrating. I hope you find a way to circumnavigate them. You don't need the extra stress!
@Newbie21 huge congratulations!!!
@strawberrye thanks hun. I hope so too! I know what you mean, I've only got 1 more cycle until I'll be cracking the one year on the thread too. Everything crossed for us!
@hayleyfx how are you getting on? Are you going to the GP today? Everything crossed!
@Laney79 yep its lovely to be here in the sun! 🌞 ooh well even if you have to cancel the trip at least it'll be for a good cause! I'll happily take it off your hands! 😉 I felt a bit gutted about Harry and Meghan. Happy for them but a harsh reminder how quick and easy it can be for others.
@Russkispy ooh everything crossed for you!!!!!
@TinyPaws good luck for your IVF. Hope you get some lovely healthy eggs!!!
@Mistymeow thankyou. Hope you get your appointment soon.
@KnitKitty I'm so sorry love. It's just not fair and I agree that you are such a ray of sunshine and so supportive, I wish that it was your turn. I am sending lots of hugs to you and I hope that things turn around soon for you xxxx

Congrats to all with BFPs! And good luck for anyone else... Again so many pages to read through that I'm not really up to date.

I'm out for this month, AF started this morning. I have some events coming up this and next week so at least I can enjoy some ... Also, I ordered those medichecks blood tests but I failed getting enough blood so will book a clinic to take on the bloods instead - I couldn't get almost any blood running from my fingers and for a successful test, it would have needed to be quite a lot.

Congratulations to all the BFP's ❤️

I promised myself I wouldn't go crazy this cycle as I wanted nature to take its course. LOL who was I kidding?

I'm currently on CD12 and my boobs are incredibly sore. I can't even move without them really really really hurting. It's like how they were when I was pregnant with my DS... I've done a test and it was negative & my period was average, one day of medium bleeding. Surely I can't be pregnant? I had flu type symptoms yesterday too & have had some heartburn today.

Can these be signs of ovulation too? Xxx