Over 30 ttc#1 looking for other in-betweeners

[AmyinNLondon]

Hi all,

I’m 33, DP is 36 and in second month of ttc#1. (Am fairly new here so don’t know all the acronyms). I have pcos so realise that might be a challenge but have a fairly normal 28 day cycle. I have been totally taken in by all the conception gadgets and have bought a Clearblue fertility monitor and am waiting for the Ava bracelet to arrive... mental I know!!

I find the 20 somethings in other ttc threads a bit intimidatingly young, perky and fertile, but recognise those in the 35 or 40+ threads may have different experiences, so don’t want to be an under-age imposter!

Anyway, if anyone is in the same boat and wants to share their journey (fingers crossed ending up with a BFP!) then post below... xxx

@mrsof20118 Good luck in fertile week!

@Syncope Oh sorry hun. I was really hoping for you. Great news that your cycle seems a better length though... Silver linings.

So I did get an FRER and used it with the FMU I'd kept (eeewww). BFN.
I haven't kept either of the tests so I wouldn't obsess or be tempted to look at them after the time you're supposed to read them.
I did wonder if the FRER had a vague shadow on it, but I think it's just wishful thinking as I know where it's supposed to be.
Still no period though and the spotting has completely stopped... Never had this before. Could be implantation bleeding? I don't know when I'd expect a BFP if so... ORRRR could be my body just playing cruel tricks on me. I'll just have to wait and test again in a few days if AF doesn't turn up.
@40cmsanta yes, waiting is horrible.

Just stumbled on this group so I hope I'm ok to join.

I'm 33 other half is 31 ttc #1 and properly trying now on cycle 3.

I feel I have been in it for lots longer though! We started to not use anything around March time just expecting it to be ok! Well no it isn't. And to make things worse my AF are becoming horrific! I'm so much pain this month! It's a double whammy hey your not pregnant and here's a shed load of pain as well!

This thread seems lucky - first time posting here but thought I'd join! Still trying to figure out all these acronyms!

I'm 31 (32 on Thursday)
TTC first child

Came off Cerazette in June to allow a few months to allow everything to get back to normal (had been on hormonal contraception like 15 years).
Got my period straight away, now using Clue to track fertile window. Seem to be pretty regular and a 26 day cycle!

Just waiting to get a period out the way to start TTC end of this month! I'm also a constant symptom checker so this is going to be difficult!

How soon did you guys cut out alcohol and caffeine? Did you just reduce or stop altogether? I'm such a coffee addict!

Hi @jenstarxx and @LongLegsStarryEyes.

Sorry your AF has been painful jenstar. Painful periods are actually not always normal, so you might want to go to your GP to discuss it. Lots of things can cause painful periods; PCOS, endometriosis etc... so I'd encourage you to talk to the doctor if you think it's getting worse.

LongLegs, I had already pretty much cut out caffeine anyway as it does my anxiety no good. But you don't have to cut it out completely. Maybe drop down to having two cups a day or something for now?
I gave up alcohol completely at first and have slowly started having a glass her and there recently.

So AF hasn't turned up yet. Still spotting a bit.
I've been getting mild cramps on and off for 2 or 3 days but this evening it's much more pronounced. Thought AF had started because of it and went to the loo but there was no bleeding at all.
Going to wait til the weekend (requested by OH) and then test again if still no AF.

Hi everyone, welcome to all to the lucky thread 😀.
It’s been a week or so since I posted and just trying to keep track.
@syncope I’m sorry AF came. I really was thinking it was a positive for you.
Alcohol and caffeine. I hardly drink now seeing as I don’t have a female friend at the minute that isn’t pregnant 😂 but I have had a couple of large glasses when AF comes.
Caffeine - I have max one cup of coffee a day. I cut down and find it hard to drink any more than that now. I read that too much caffeine can affect the implantation phase (could be a load of hooey but hey it’s not a bad thing to get used to) so I don’t have any coffee around ovulation and 2ww. But that’s because I drink v strong coffee. I’ll still drink green tea.
So the CBFM is still fun. I’ve had three days of highs so hope the peak comes soon. Also been tracking CM again this month and ummm tmi but there is definitely more of it and I’ve had EWCM for two days now whereas last month I struggled to spot it. So feeling good this month that things are working as they should.
Does anyone here not tell their DH/DP that it’s time to BD? I’ve got away the past few months with just instigating because I’m pretty sure he has no idea whatsoever about women’s cycles and wouldn’t notice that I’m just being more frisky around the middle of the month 😂 but we’ve both been so tired this week I feel like I need to be like hey you need to perform 🙈🙈

@jenstarxx I know exactly what you mean about just thinking it would be okay. I did that for the first couple of months (school PSE lessons have a LOT to answer for) and then realised that you have to be a lot more scientific about things. So I count this cycle as number 3 despite being ‘careless’ since June.

@Claudia84 Good luck to you this cycle. Hope you get your peak soon and EWCM looks like a good sign. RE getting partner to perform... Back in January I got all tearful because OH wasn't DTD with me enough. I'd not been off the pill for long and had decided not to do any tracking or anything but just try to DTD as much as possible (which is max. about 3 times a week for us... no idea how some couples manage it every day!!!). I have a history of endometriosis and I was getting paranoid that it would come back with vengeance once off the pill, so I cried. I actually cried, genuine tears because we weren't having enough sex! Haha! We DTD the next day... I fell pregnant that month so who knows if that's why?! Sadly ended in MC and I've been a lot more relaxed about TTC since then but used OPKs for the first time this month.

I'm now 14DPO going by ovulation pain which happened 2 days after positive OPK. Usually AF arrives 12DPO, again going by ovulation pain in previous months because I hadn't been using OPKs before this cycle. So I think I'm 2 days late now. I'll be testing on Saturday if AF still hasn't shown.

Hey guys, completely new to this site so bear with me :-)

I’m 36, OH is 40. He has a daughter, my stepdaughter, she’s 10. For that reason he’s very much ‘there can’t be anything wrong with my swimmers’ lol although he’s accepted I’m right that sperm quality etc can be affected by lifestyle choices such as too much alcohol.

Anyhow, we’ve been TTC my first, his second. Since March last year so we’re into month 19 or so now. So disheartening and completely emotionally exhausting. Not so much for him; he’d love another but he’s equally not going to be devastated if it doesn’t happen. He’s also said he doesn’t want to be an old dad so I reckon we’ve probably got another year or so before he says he doesn’t want to keep trying.

I made my peace a few months back that if it didn’t happen, so be it. I love my life and don’t usually feel that it’s lacking. Usually, I can’t even imagine how I’d have the time to have a child with us 24/7!

Today though, I feel sad. I’m at docs in morning to see how I get my hormones checked etc. I’ve just had a text from OH to say we probably need to have a discussion ‘before it gets to the prodding and poking part’ lol, which I guess means he wants to reiterate that he doesn’t want to go down the IVF route (I don’t either - I become swallowed up once I fixated on something and I know it will consume me and I won’t be living for now, which means I’ll not enjoy all I do have. Plus, we can’t afford it really). I’ve been telling myself I’d rather know if there’s something wrong, so at least I know, but now I’m starting the journey to finding out, I’m terrified.

There’s all this other stuff too. OH is a beautiful soul, and his daughter and I are his everything. He has a demanding job though running his businesses and on Mother’s Day this year, he just couldn’t understand why I was so upset that he’d not bought me a card from his little one, when he’d been ‘trying to keep a roof over our heads’ and told me I needed some perspective. Birthday card didn’t have stepmom on either, nor Xmas cards. I know I’m being pathetic but I want him to grasp that I may never have a child of my own, so it makes me treasure my relationship with her even more than I would, and not getting recognition on mother’s day from her via him, was so upsetting. God even writing it down now seems ridiculous as in the grand scheme of things, it’s nothing. I just feel like if this journey doesn’t end with us adding to our family, then I need him to understand that the little things are the big things for me, and for him to be a little more sensitive. Am I being unreasonable?

And I know, everyone tells me ‘be patient it will happen’. They mean well but it’s funny how every single person to say that already have their kids. Guess I’m on here to find people who are going through the same and understand that sometimes, there are days when staying positive just isn’t you 😢

On a brighter note, the doc may tell me all is good. My cycles are v regular, 24/25 days in length, but I think I may have low progesterone (google diagnosed this lol, pretty sure my real doc will love that!). Waiting for my Ava bracelet to turn up at the minute too.

Sorry for the self pitying post. Needed to get it on paper so I can go home now and put my smiley face on for OH and my stepdaughter. Xx

Thanks @40cmsanta, @KnitKitty and @Claudia84 - I'd got my hopes up a bit this cycle but I've cheered up again now. Having a busy week at work which has taken my mind off it too.

KnitKitty any news? Fingers crossed for you that you have do it news on Saturday.

Welcome all those who have just joined in!

Welcome @jenstarxx, @LongLegsStarryEyes and @Lou1402

@LongLegsStarryEyes I cut out alcohol and caffeine entirely. I am in cycle 3 and had a glass of wine for the first time tonight (I am pre-ovulation window). It was lovely!! I am with people from work and was concerned they would be suspicious if I didn't drink... so I took one for the team

Good luck for Saturday's testing @KnitKitty!

@Claudia84 good sign with the EWCM, fingers crossed for you. DH and I have been on a bit of a timetable with DTD in that we do it every other day. He is more aware of the timetable than I am sometimes. It does take the fun out if it a little I must admit!

@Lou1402 welcome! I totally see what you are saying about a card for mothers day. It is acknowledging the part you play in your step daughter's life. I don't think you're being unreasonable to be upset. Not to generalise, but I think that blokes can be a little bit insensitive blind to these things as sometimes.

Thanks for your advice all, if we're lucky I'll have to quit caffeine eventually so makes sense to start now!

Have been cutting down on alcohol but it was my birthday yesterday (32!) so had a few too many (2pints and a g&t), we hadn't officially started trying this month so our last DTD was two days after my fertile window according to Clue so definitely not getting hopes up this month, after AF next comes will be more serious on the alcohol!

@lou1402 - I completely understand and am pretty sure I'd feel the same. Good luck with everything

Well I already tested as I was really convinced I was pregnant and freaked out when I started bleeding. The test came back positive but I'm losing the pregnancy. My doctor is going to refer me to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. Sigh.

Thoughts are with you @knitkitty

I'm so sorry @KnitKitty. Hope your referral doesn't take too long.

So sorry to hear that @KnitKitty

So sorry @knitkitty

@AmyinNLondon checking in to see how things are going for you?

Thanks ladies.

Sorry if I put a dampener on this thread!

I'm stepping off for a while to gather my strength again, but cheering you all on from the sidelines. I really hope there are more BFPs soon! Spreading baby dust to all of you. xxx

Come back when you are ready @KnitKitty hope you manage to relax a little x

Oh @KnitKnitty, so sorry to hear that. Sending love and luck. As @morsof20118 says, we’ll be here when you’re ready!

Sorry I have been a bit awol. Been totally knocked out and sleeping a lot. Beyond that not many symptoms. My boobs were sore but even that stopped today which has convinced me everything has gone wrong. Feels like a weird time as there’s not much you can do except wait for the first scan which is not for another month or so....

Anyhoo, hope everyone else is still ok? There’s tons on the news at the mo about getting pregnant in your 30s. They make it sound so easy... but it doesn’t always feel like that!!

Sending baby dust! X

@AmyinNLondon waiting for that first scan must be torture... puts the TWW into perspective I guess! A friend of mine found a place for private scans on GroupOn of all places! I think it was from 8 weeks. If it helps to put your mind at rest it may be worth having a look.

I'm on my ovulation day according to Flo. I caved and bought the clear blue ovulation test a few days ago, and it is just a flashing smiley this morning (for the second day). I stupidly didn't read the instructions before using the test for the first time - you need to start earlier in the cycle than I did to get a base line reading... so my results might be off.

BBT is also holding steady. I have PCOS, so it will be a relief if these gadgets just tell me that I am actually ovulating.

Where is everyone else up to?

AF is due today for me - there's maybe like a 0.001% chance she won't as we DTD near ovulation but I'm pretty sure it was a few days too late and I'm not expecting anything to happen this month.

Otherwise counting down the days til next ovulation! So impatient!

@40cmsanta - yeah I may look into an early scan actually. Just to put mind at ease.

I also have PCOs and found I ovulated early in cycle. I was relieved I did though!

@amyinNlondon mothercare do early scans at some of their centres. I think around £80.

I got my positive opk yesterday so trying to dtd every day for the next day days. Worried we didn't do it enough before that to catch it but cant be helped now this cycle.

Currently 2dpo (according to my app) May start ovulation testing next month if I don't get a bfp.

What ovulation tests do you lovely ladies use?